Talk Too Much: Auggie's Story-H.S. Fanfic

Born Too Soon, But Loved Nonetheless

Harry: 48
Auggie: 27
Emryn: 31

March 9th 2042 (19 weeks pregnant)

5:00 pm

She had been having cramps for a few hours before she realized something was wrong, she knew they weren't miscarriage cramps. They were different. These started in her back and wrapped around to her stomach where they'd tighten and then eventually lessen, rolling down her thighs and uterus.

She had a gut feeling that something was wrong, these cramps felt vaguely familiar. Vaguely familiar to her labor with Drew. But these couldn't be contractions? She's only 19 weeks. They can't be contractions.

She didn't want them to keep happening, so she decided to lay down for a bit. She was sure it was nothing. Just a few growing pains, she'd have them before and Darcy had received a few scared sh*tless phone calls in the middle of the night for Auggie and her, begging her to meet them at her clinic to listen to the baby's heartbeat and check up on them, and of course, Darcy assured them that their baby was growing just fine, but nonetheless because of the amazing sister she is, would get up at those unspeakable hours of the night just to do an ultrasound for her sister and brother so they could sleep easy for the rest of the night.

Because their baby was okay. And she hopes to everything that they're still okay.

She gives her bump a rub, cradling one hand under it as she blows out a deep breath, one of the cramps running through her as she puffs out her cheeks, looking down at her little bump. She's never been so happy to have a belly in her entire life.

Her feet carry her down the hall from the living room where she was sitting on the couch, editing a few photos from her most recent shoot, a newborn shoot with a mum and her baby that made her even more excited, if possible, for her own little baby.

She waddles down the hall, checking her phone to make sure Auggie hasn't texted her, but she knows he won't. He's been in Japan for two days now for a work trip, and she knows because of the time change he's still asleep, but still it would calm her heart a little bit to be able to talk to him.

But, she also doesn't want to talk to him because the last thing she wants to do is worry him, especially since he's so far away and wouldn't be able to do anything. She's sure it's nothing. It's gotta be nothing.

She climbs onto the bed on her side and lays on her side, putting a pillow in between her legs to make herself more comfortable, placing her hand on the side of her bump and rubbing it lovingly as she closes her eyes and tries to focus on breasting.

That's all she needs to do: just breathe. Just breathe and in a few hours when Auggie's awake she can call him and hear his voice. Just breathe and in a few hours if things haven't gotten better she can call Darcy. Just breathe and think about the ultrasound she had a few days ago. Just breathe and remember what her little baby looked like on the screen. Just breathe and imagine what they'll look like in her arms.

Just breathe and trust that this pregnancy will continue to be different than the other ten.

***

7:14 pm

She did fall asleep, gratefully, and the cramps weren't bad enough to wake her up. Well, that is until she gets a specific cramp that makes her whimper awake, her hand immediately going to the side of her bump.

"Oh wow, ow,"Emryn hisses, sucking in a tight breath as her eyebrows pinch together, a whimper forming at her lips as she rubs the side of her bump that's gone taunt. "F*cking hell..."

She waits till the spasm stops, only then does she realize how tightly she was clenching her entire lower half, before she sits up carefully, her legs hanging over the side of the bed with both of her hands on her bump, rubbing it soothingly as she blows out a deep breath.

"Alright, we're okay, are you just growing lots?"Emryn coos, tapping her fingers against her bump before standing up on her shaking legs and beginning to walk towards the bathroom to take a much needed bathroom break, at least that's what the pressure between her hips is telling her.

She makes it two steps into the bathroom door before a cramp stops her dead in her tracks as she reaches a hand out to brace herself against the white bathroom wall, her other hand going under her bump as she rests her temple against her outstretched arm, hauling in a few deep breaths as the cramp continues to tighten in her back and run all the way through her stomach, and then...it shoots down in between her legs.

Pop.

She audibly hears the gush and popping sound as she turns her head down towards her trembling legs, finding a puddle of water forming between her feet as a little squeak leaves her mouth.

"Oh no, oh f*cking sh*t no,"Emryn whimpers, bringing a trembling hand up to cover her mouth as her eyes fall shut, squeezing them as tightly as possible as her shoulders begin to shake with sobs. "No. NO! F*CK!"

She wishes she could say that she made it to the toilet, but she didn't. She couldn't even think about it at the time, so instead she sinks down to her butt, sitting in the puddle on the floor as she gasps for air, curling into a little ball with her knees brought up to her bump that she's holding in her hand.

"F*ck f*ck f*ck,"Emryn sobs, reaching her fingers down to graze against the puddle, barely able to see it because of the tears filling her eyes. "No, please no, please."

She doesn't' know what to do, no one prepares you for a moment like this. This isn't really something they go over when you're pregnant. Because it's not supposed to happen like this. It's not supposed to be this hard to carry a baby to full term.

It's not supposed to have to hurt like this.

*

"Dad,"Emryn sobs, cradling her phone to her ear as she continues to sit in her broken water, her chest heaving with tears as she tries to keep herself from having a full on panic attack, her other hand coming up to grip onto the roots of her hair that are dyed purple.

"Hey,"Harry's voice comes through the telephone line, a bit of concern coating his tone as he realizes that there are tears overwhelming Emryn's voice, her breathing shaky and clogged with tears. "Hey, is everything alright?"

"D-Dad, my water broke,"Emryn bawls, gasping for air as her heart plummets into the puddle. Having it happen is one thing, saying it and admitting that the situation is happening is a completely different thing. "Dad I dunno what to do! Dad please..."

"Oh Emmy, honey, okay, okay, I'm going to drive to you right now, okay?"Harry immediately responds, jumping up from where he was sitting at the kitchen table and enjoying a nice takeout pizza, all alone in the house since Bindi and Camryn are on a trip to Scotland. He bolts out of the kitchen and tries to keep a steady mind as he searches for his keys and his shoes, but it's no use. He can't even remember what he was looking for in the first place. "It's alright, honey, we're going to get this all figured out, alright?"

"Dad, my baby..."Emryn sobs, her voice hitching in her throat as she flings her head back against the wall, hard enough to give herself a pretty gnarly headache.

"Emmy, sweet girl, listen to me, okay?"Harry soothes, trying to keep his voice as even as possible. He can break down in the car, but right now he needs to be strong for Emryn. The absolute last thing she needs right now is to know that Harry's scared. "I'm going to drive to your house and we're going to take you to the hospital and we'll get this all figured out, okay? I'm going to stay with you the whole time."

"I want August,"Emryn blubbers, collapsing her forehead onto her bent knees as her entire body trembles. "Dad, please..."

"We'll call August as soon as everything gets settled and we'll get him a plane here, alright? I promise we'll get him the fastest flight,"Harry comforts, grabbing his keys out of the dish as he bolts out the front door, his untied shoe laces flying behind him as he does so. "You just stay right where you are and I'll come and get you, okay?"

"Dad please hurry,"Emryn sobs, putting her hand on her bump and scrunching her fingers against it angrily. Why her? Why?! WHY? "Dad I need you..."

"I'm coming as fast as I can, sweetheart, I promise you,"Harry pants, jumping into the driver's seat of his car as he immediately turns it on, praying that no one is behind him as he rips out of the driveway because he doesn't have time to look. Road rules don't apply right now. No rules apply in a situation like this. "Do you want me to stay on the phone with you? I can keep talking?"

"No, I just...please hurry,"Emryn begs, her hand still against her bump, praying that it won't be the last time she feels it. It's the 21st contrary, there's gotta be a way to save the baby, right? Right?!

And hurry he does, going 90 miles per hour on the 70 mile per hour motorways as he switches through lanes without looking in his blindspot.

He doesn't care about blindspots.

There are no blindspots when it comes to family.

***

7:30 pm

"Emryn, sweetheart?"Harry calls, pushing open the front door to Auggie and Emryn's house, using the key that he has on his keychain, one for each of his kids' houses in case of emergencies. "Honey, I'm here!"

"Contraction,"Emryn chokes out, halfway stopped in the hallway as she braces her forearms against the wall, resting her forehead against her arms as she shakes her hips.

"Sh*t,"Harry murmurs under his breath, shaking his head as he begins to walk down the hall, following the sound of Emryn's voice. As stupid as it sounds, he wasn't expecting her to have contractions. He knows her water is broken, but contractions is something completely different. Well, maybe they're not, but in his protective and anxious mind it was.

He rushes down the hall and finds Emryn dressed in a big sweatshirt, one of Auggie's from secondary school with the name of the school printed across it and a pair of sweats. Her hair is tied up with a claw clip as she shakes her hip.

"Hey there,"Harry whispers, not knowing quite how Emryn copes during contractions yet so he doesn't know if he's allowed to talk or touch her. He cautiously brings his hand up to rub against Emryn's lower back as she continues to breathe deeply through her contraction.

"This one...just...started,"Emryn pinches out, her face crumpled up as she continues to shake her head through the contraction.

"Yeah? Okay, that's okay,"Harry soothes, continuing to rub his hand against Emryn's back. "You're doing great."

He catches a sight of Emryn's cheek, noticing how swollen and splotchy they are and how there are fresh tears coating her cheeks as she sniffles through the contraction.

"I've got you,"Harry comforts, watching Emryn's nose scrunch up again with a sniffle. "It's almost gone."

"Yeah, 'kay, it's stopping,"Emryn exhales deeply, nodding her head and pulling away from the wall, inhaling deeply as she rubs her palm against her bump. "I've got my bags in Augs and I's room, I'll go get them."

"I got them,"Harry offers, leaning over to kiss Emryn's temple as he rubs his hand up and down her arm, "you just get your shoes on, okay?"

Harry watches as Emryn sniffles and nods, both of them parting and walking in opposite directions as he walks down the hall towards Emryn and Auggie's room, pushing the door open and finding the covers thrown back on the bed in haste, a few clothes on the floor with the doors open, showing how Emryn quickly pulled out clothes and shoved them into her backpack. Harry looks down at the light brown carpet and feels his heart pull against his chest. There's a line of water leading from the bed into the bathroom.

He's going to puke.

"Dad? Will you grab one of Auggie's flannels, I forgot to pack it,"Emryn yells from the front door where she was slipping on her sandals.

"Yeah, I'll get one!"Harry calls back, rushing over to Auggie's drawer and pulling out an emerald green flannel as he puts it away in Emryn's backpack and quickly rushes down the hall, finding Emryn pushing her second foot into her sandal. "You ready?"

"Yeah,"Emryn whispers as she reaches up to wipe off a tear rolling down her face, pulling her sweatshirt over her hands as her shoulders tremble, completely losing every ounce of composure that she was trying to have. There is no composure when your baby is dying.

"Oh sweetheart,"Harry murmurs, dropping the bag down onto the floor as he rushes over to wrap his arms around Emryn who begins to sob into his chest, his arms having to physically hold her up.

"I don't want to go!"Emryn sobs, her face covered by her palms as Harry rubs his hand up and down her back.

"I know, I know you don't,"Harry coos, pressing a few kisses to the top of her head as he rocks their bodies side to side. "It's okay, I'm going to make sure they do everything they can for you two, okay? I'm going to stay with you the whole time."

"I'm scared,"Emryn chokes out and it breaks Harry's heart because she's never scared. She's Emryn. She's fearless.

"And that's okay, it's okay to be scared,"Harry assures her, squeezing her tighter against his body. "I love you. We're going to do this together, okay?"

***

8:05 pm (3 centimeters dilated)

"Emryn Styles?"a doctor asks, walking into the room. He seems to be in his late thirties in a pair of light blue scrubs with a kind smile and a clipboard in his hands.

"That's me,"Emryn sniffles with a nod, sitting up in the bed with the blankets resting at her hips, freshly changed into a hospital gown as she holds tightly onto Harry's hand who's sitting right next to her on a stool.

"It's nice to meet you, I'm Dr. Glass,"the OBGYN introduces himself, holding his hand out for Emryn to shake before turning his attention to Harry. "Is this your husband?"

Emryn snorts and smirks over at Harry who's chuckling a bit to himself, just waiting for the terrible response Emryn's about to give to this poor innocent doctor.

"He wishes,"Emryn smirks, kissing the air in Harry's direction before looking back at Dr. Glass, "he's my father-in-law. My husbands in Tokyo and trying to get the soonest flight back."

"Oh, I'm sorry for assuming,"Dr. Glass chuckles, joining in with Harry and Emryn before clearing his throat to continue on, "well it's nice to meet you both. I hear we've been having some consistent contractions and that your water broke."

"Yeah,"Emryn confirms, resting her hand that's not interlocked with Harry's on top of her bump, "it broke about an hour ago."

"And how long have you been feeling the contractions?"Dr. Glass asks, sitting on a stool and scooting it closer to Emryn's bedside to be a bit more personal with her, looking at her as if she's the most important thing in the world which gives her a bit of comfort.

"About 3 hours now?"Emryn guesstimates, puckering her lips as she looks up towards the ceiling, thinking back to a few hours prior, "I started feeling them around five, but I thought they were just little growing pains or something so I laid down and then two hours later I woke up and felt like I needed to use the restroom so I stood up and my water broke."

"Alright, and we're nineteen weeks?"Dr. Glass clarifies, raising his eyebrows at Emryn who nods and looks down at her bump.

"Yeah, nineteen weeks and one day,"she corrects him, sniffling slightly with a remnant of tears.

"Alright,"Dr. Glass nods, inhaling deeply before he begins to explain everything Emryn needs to know, but doesn't necessarily want to know, "so Emryn, this is the situation we're dealt with: I'm gonna do a little check of your cervix and if you're less than five centimeters we can try to slow down labor by giving you a few meds and we'll have you be on bedrest for as long as possible—"

"And that will save the baby?"Emryn asks hopefully, cutting off Dr. Glass because really that's the only thing she cares about. "If I'm on bedrest they'll stay in?"

"That's what we'd hope for,"Dr. Glass nods, wringing his fingers that are interlocked, "but if you're more than five centimeters we'll have no choice but to let labor keep going."

"There's nothing else you can do?"Emryn squeaks, the weight of the situation weighing heavy on her shoulders.

"I'm afraid not, my love,"Dr. Glass shakes his head, frowning slightly as he steals a glance at Harry who's staring right at him and trying not to break. He can't break. He can't break because he knows that will just scare Emryn more than she already is.

"But once I deliver them they can go to the NICU or something, right?"Emryn innocently asks, glancing over at Harry with a hopeful gaze before looking back at Dr. Glass. "You'll help them?"

"We can only help them if they're twenty one weeks or more,"Dr. Glass explains, biting down on his lower lip as he watches realization coat Emryn's features, her face falling a bit, "there's this thing called fetal viability which means we don't work to save a baby unless they're twenty one weeks along at least because before then there's really no chance at life."

"So if they're born today,"Emryn whispers, her voice becoming clogged with tears as she squeezes Harry's hand until it's white, "you'll just let them die."

"They wouldn't be able to survive no matter how hard we tried, sweetheart,"Dr. Glass regretfully informs Emryn, "I'm so sorry, but they're just too little and their organs aren't developed enough."

"No,"Emryn whispers tearfully, flinging her head back against the pillow as she brings her hand up from her bump to rest over her eyes, her chest beginning to heave with sobs as Harry stands up to shroud his body with hers, trying to protect her in every way possible just as he always does with his kids. "My baby, dad."

"I know, I know, c'mere, I've got you,"Harry whispers in response to Emryn's desperate wails that shatter his head, his hand going to the back of her head and cradling it as he brings it to his chest so that she can sob against him. "I've got you."

"It was supposed to be the one! I can't lose another one!"Emryn sobs distraughtly, gripping onto the back of Harry's shirt and pounding against his back slightly. "I can't!"

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart,"Harry whispers with tears springing up in his eyes as he leans down to press a kiss to the top of Emryn's head. "Let's let the doctor check you to see what we're dealing with here, okay? Does that sound okay?"

Emryn sniffles and nods against Harry's chest, pulling away from him as he cups her cheeks in his hands and brushes away her tears with the pads of his fingers, pressing one more kiss to her forehead before she rests back against the bed as Dr. Glass sits on the edge of the bed.

"Do you mind if I just pull down the blankets right here? I'll be quick, I promise,"the doctor explains, pulling down the blankets, "and if you don't mind just bending your legs and planting your feet on the bed...perfect, just like that."

"Mmm,"Emryn winces, her face crinkling up as she squeezes Harry's hand tighter, clenching her eyes shut as Harry looks at her with the most protective and loving eyes.

"Okay, so Emryn I've got some good news for you, love,"Dr. Glass warily smiles, snapping off his gloves as Emryn peeks over at him. "You're only dilated to barley a three, so we're going to be able to give you some meds to hopefully slow everything down, okay? We're also going to give you some steroids for the baby's lungs, and hopefully everything will go to plan, alright? I'll be back to check on you in two hours after you've been on the meds to see how your cervix is doing, okay?"

"Okay,"Emryn shakily breathes, nodding her head in a bit of relief. This is a good sign. They can still help her baby. There's still hope. "Thank you."

"We're going to be just fine, okay?"Harry promises, reaching to brush back Emryn's purple hair from her forehead as she turns her head against the pillow to look at Harry. He brings their interlocked hands up to his lips and presses a soft kiss there. "You're going to be just fine."

***

9:00 pm (4 centimeters dilated)

"Alright, babe, it's ringing,"Harry informs Emryn, handing her his phone as she lays on her her side, a hospital robe around her with the sheets tucked up to her shoulders along with another blanket on top of her since she's been having a bad chase of the chills and shivers.

"Thanks,"Emryn stutters, her teeth chattering as she peeks one of her hands out towards the phone and holds it in front of her face, looking at Harry's contact photo of Auggie with a sad little grin.

It's a photo of Auggie when he was six years old, laying in the snow and making a snow angel with his arms splayed out wide, a heavy puffy snow suit covering him with his cheeks and tip of his nose tainted red. He's got the biggest smile on his face and it missing his front tooth, his cheeks raising into his eyes to make them mere slivers as his blonde hair peeks through his little beanie.

Auggie picks up the phone after only three rings, his big blue eyes piercing through the screen as he sits in a waiting chair at the airport, his knee bouncing up and down uncontrollably as he waits for his flight.

"Oh h-h-hey, h-hey s-sweet g-g-girl,"Auggie coos, bringing the phone closer to his eyes which allows Emryn to see how red rimmed they are, his cheeks swollen and a bit splotchy showing the emotional car ride he had to the airport after his phone call with Camryn.

"Hi,"Emryn whispers, sniffling a bit as she snuggles deeper into the covers that are covering the tip of her chin, "did mum get you a flight?"

"S-She did,"Auggie confirms, nodding his head and looking at Emryn with the most gentle eyes, wanting to reach through the phone and tuck a loose strand of her purple hair behind her ear. "S-S-She went full on m-m-mumma b-bear on the p-p-poor r-r-receptionist."

"That's what mum does best,"Emryn grins tiredly, her cheeks a bit smushed from laying against the pillow.

"Yeah...h-h-how're y-y-you doing, s-stinker?"Auggie asks concernedly, adjusting his earbud so that he can hear Emryn's voice better that's strained and quiet from all of her emotions building up and her fear bubbling in her.

"Not good,"Emryn whimpers, her lips beginning to wobble as tears rush down her cheeks, a big sniffle escaping her nose as her shoulders tremble feebly. Harry wants nothing more than to cross the room and go over and comfort her, but he knows that he should give this time to Auggie and Emryn to be able to handle this in the way they want to. This is their moment, not his, so he remains in his recliner chair in the corner of the room, texting back and forth with a very anxious Camryn who's trying her best to get flights back for her and Bindi.

"O-Oh b-baby,"Auggie whispers with a sympathetic frown, pulling the screen closer to him. "I l-love y-y-you, s-s-sweetheart. It's okay, i-it's o-o-okay, h-honey."

"It's not okay!"Emryn snaps tearfully, shaking her head adamantly against the pillow. "It's not! I can't do this August. I don't want to have the baby and I want you to be here and I can't!"

"E-Emryn, b-b-b-baby, l-l-look a-at m-me, c'mon,"Auggie whispers with a tight voice, his throat aching with tears as he watches Emryn break down right before his eyes, knowing that he can't physically comfort her which kills him. They're a physical couple, it's how they communicate, and words have never been either of their strong suits, but it's all they have right now.

Emryn obeys Auggie's request and tearfully looks up at him, sniffling loudly as she huddles tighter against the bed, still quietly crying.

"I know t-t-this s-s-sucks, baby. T-T-This is the w-worst,"Auggie sympathizes as a few tears leak out of his eyes, "but let's j-j-j-just wait to f-f-f-find out what the d-d-d-doctors can d-do, okay? They m-m-might be a-able to do s-s-something for t-the baby."

"Okay,"Emryn whimpers in agreement, nodding her head as she looks over at Auggie. "I just want you to be here."

"I'll b-b-be t-t-there s-s-so soon, okay?"Auggie promises, smiling gently at Emryn to try and encourage her on. "A-Are you h-hurting?"

It's jarring him a bit at how composed Emryn is being pain wise. He's seen his mum and Darcy in labor, and it looked nothing like how Emryn is now. He was expecting her to be moaning and tossing and turning into different positions, but she's not. She's just laying in a bed, acting more so tired than in pain. He's grateful she's not in pain, however, he's so grateful since he was already dreading having to watch Emryn go through labor, she was very insistent on doing it unmedicated and at home.

"A bit,"Emryn admits, sniffling pitifully as she raises her free hand up to knuckle at her brown eyes, "they gave me lots of medicines to try and slow down the contractions and they gave me steroids to help the baby's lungs mature."

"Y-Yeah? T-T-That's good,"Auggie nods with an encouragingly smile, trying to ignore the way his heart sinks at the thought of his tiny baby having to get steroids...steroids because it's the only way they'll have any chance of survival. "W-W-When are they c-coming b-back to c-c-check on you?"

"They said they'd give me two hours to see if they contractions will slow down,"Emryn whispers, biting down on her black lip ring, "but they're not really slowing down, and I don't know what to do..."

"H-Hey, s-s-sweetheart, take a d-d-deep breath for m-me,"Auggie soothes, motioning with his hand for Emryn to calm down so that she doesn't get as anxious as she did a few minutes ago. "G-Getting w-w-worked up is g-g-going to make it w-w-worse, okay? S-S-So let's just t-t-take a few b-breaths."

Emryn nods and sucks in a deep breath, blowing it out as she closes her eyes before doing that a few more times.

"G-Good job,"Auggie nods, relaxing a bit against his chair once he can see that Emryn is visibly relaxing a bit herself.

"I just want, ow,"Emryn hisses, gasping a bit as she brings her hand down to the side of her bump as her dark brows pinch together, her face scrunching up. "I—damm*t."

"H-Hey, it's o-o-okay don't t-try to talk, j-j-just breathe,"Auggie coaches, clicking in his mind that he's currently watching Emryn go through a contraction. Sh*t. Hearing that she's going through contractions and actually witnessing her through a contraction is a lot different.

"Dad,"Emryn whimpers, her eyes squeezed shut as she focuses on keeping a hold of the phone.

"Coming,"Harry immediately calls, throwing his phone down on the recliner as he shoots up, rushing towards the bed and immediately going to her back, pulling back the covers a bit to reveal Emryn's bare back that's peeking through her hospital gown, her spine tattoo peeking out full force, "back again?"

Emryn nods painfully as Harry rubs at her back, massaging it a bit forcefully to do counter pressure that he's had to do so many times before, but each during such a happier experience.

"G-Good j-job, honey, y-y-you're d-d-doing a-amazing,"Auggie encourages, watching as Emryn continues to inhale and exhale deeply and loudly, her brows still pinched as Harry massages at her back, leaning over her and stealing little glances at Auggie who is completely focused on Emryn.

"It's almost gone, hun,"Harry promises, looking over his shoulder at the monitor that Emryn's hooked up to and noting that her contractions haven't slowed down at all. They're still six minutes apart.

She's still in labor.

***

9:45 pm

"Tell me more,"Emryn grins tiredly, laying on her side on the bed with the blankets twisted at her hip, the monitor strapped to her stomach as her gown rides up to reveal her bare belly, her hand interlocked with Harry's as he scrunches his fingers through Emryn's purple hair.

"Hmmm, let's see, what other Gussy stories do I have,"Harry chuckles, looking up at the ceiling and trying to think back to funny stories of Auggie he has growing up that have been entertaining Emryn for the past few minutes and doing a good job at taking her mind off of her current situation.

"When he was really little, probably only a little over one year old, he knew the one thing Darcy couldn't stand was him touching her coloring books, so the little pest would just sit next to her and slowly slide his finger across the table until it barely touched the edge of her paper and she'd just scream at him and he'd be sitting there laughing and thinking it was the funniest thing in the world,"Harry laughs, watching as Emryn's cheeks raise into her eyes as a little giggle escapes her lips.

"He was a little pest, huh? I always thought he would've been a good kid growing up. Everyone always says he was a little angel,"Emryn murmurs, feeling Harry's thumb rub against her knuckles.

"He was most of the time, he was the sweetest little guy, but he did have his little evil streaks. He's so sweet and was so cute that you'd think he was completely innocent. There were so many times when they were growing up that I'd blame Bowie for something Auggie actually did just because I didn't believe that he had a mean bone in his body,"Harry laughs, shaking his head and thinking back to when the kids were little and everything was so much simpler. His and Camryn's lives were a lot more stressful and hectic, but there was a lot less heartache. A lot less.

"That's the sneaky part about Augs,"Emryn grins, rubbing the heel of her palm against her eyes. "You think he's innocent, but he's really not."

"I don't even want to know where you're taking that,"Harry groans, his face crumpling up and waving his hand in Emryn's direction. "Let's change the subject fast before I leave this hospital."

Emryn giggles and bites down on her black lip ring, squeezing Harry's hand, "you raised a really good son, though. A really good one."

Harry grins and waves his hand nonchalantly. "That was all his mum, she did it all."

"He's a lot like her,"Emryn notes, yawning quietly and smacking her lips as she grins up at Harry who's still combing his fingers through her hair.

"He is, scarily so,"Harry agrees with a nod and a little chuckle, tucking a strand of Emryn's purple hair behind her ear.

"You're still so in love with her,"Emryn smiles widely, looking at Harry who still oozes with love whenever he talks about Camryn no matter the fact that they've been together for 25 years now.

"I always will be,"Harry smiles back, winking at Emryn.

"I get what you mean,"Emryn agrees, winking back at Harry who's heart soars. The thought that his kids found a love like he has makes him so incredibly happy. He could never even explain it. It's all he wanted for them because he knew that they deserved it and he didn't want them to ever settle for anything less, and none of them have.

"He was head over heels for you the minute he met you,"Harry beams, watching as Emryn brings her hand down to rest against her bare bump, pressing against the monitor.

"That's a dead ass lie,"Emryn snorts, shaking her head and rolling her eyes at Harry, "he was scared sh*tless of me the first time he met me, you're just too much of a hopeless romantic."

"Okay, so it may have taken him a few months to not piss his pants in fear whenever he thought of you,"Harry allows with a little lopsided smirk as Emryn giggles, "but he loves you a lot."

"I love him more,"Emryn beams, snuggling her cheek deeper into the pillow, "always have, always will."

"I dunno about that,"Harry hums, raising an eyebrow at Emryn, "I think he's got you beat." Emryn pulls a mock offended face and shakes her head as Harry laughs and continues the conversation on. "You tell me an Auggie story, since you know him better than anyone now. You tell me something I don't know."

"Mmm'kay,"Emryn hums, looking up at the ceiling as she thinks back to a story for her to tell Harry...one that wouldn't scar him forever. "One of my favorite Auggie moments happened three months after we started dating. I was still really guarded with Augs and didn't let him onto how much my past still affected me. I woke up one night after one of my nightmares that I get and I responded to one of his texts that he sent to me while I was asleep and he responded back immediately and was like 'excuse me, why're you awake?!', he was staying up late studying, and I told him that I had a nightmare and then a panic attack afterwards and couldn't get back to sleep."

Harry nods every so often during Emryn's story to let her know that she has his full attention, his heart shattering and swelling at the same time when he hears about Emryn's past and all that she's gone through in her short life, but also at the love his son and her share.

"From then on his responses got really choppy and I was a little sad because I was like 'oh I wish he would've offered to FaceTime me or something to help me feel better', but then like fifteen minutes later I hear this banging on my door and then my phone lights up with a text from Auggie telling me to open the door."

Harry grins so widely that his cheeks hurt as he watches Emryn's face gradually light up more and more as she explains the story further.

"Anyways, I opened the door and there he was with a paper plate in his hand covered with tin foil and a canister of hot chocolate in the other,"Emryn giggles, imagining how Auggie looked on that night in his big sweatshirt and sweatpants, his glasses a bit fogged from making the hot chocolate and his blonde hair a bit messed. "He was like 'come outside with me' and we went outside to his car and sat on the roof of it even though it was f*cking freezing and we ate his cold leftover pizza that had been in his fridge for three days and drank hot chocolate straight from the canister."

"That's so cute,"Harry chuckles, rubbing Emryn's hair back from her forehead with his palm as she nods and giggles cutely.

"That was the night I knew I loved him. I think I knew before, but that was the night I really knew. It was the first time I told him,"Emryn continues on, reaching up to rub at her nose that's leaking a bit. "He was so nervous he didn't even say it back and then I got all sad that he didn't and climbed down from the car and he chased after me and was like 'no no, I do love you too, I just didn't know how to react'."

"That's so Auggie,"Harry laughs, shaking his head as Emryn joins in with a giggle.

"Isn't it?"Emryn agrees, rubbing her hand against her bare stomach. "And then he stayed the night at my apartment so I didn't have to sleep alone after my nightmare even though he had a test in the morning that he was really worried about and wanted to study for."

"Good, innocent sleeping, I love that,"Harry smirks, narrowing his eyes at Emryn.

"Yeah, no, that night we didn't have sex, we've had sex every night after, though, don't you worry,"Emryn teases, watching as Harry blushes profusely and shakes his head with a deep sigh, running his fingers through his brown curls.

"I hate you so much,"Harry laughs, slapping Emryn's hand gently.

"No you don't,"Emryn grins slyly, wiggling her eyebrows at Harry.

"No I don't,"Harry agrees, pressing a kiss to the back of Emryn's hand that's interlocked with his.

"I never thought I'd be more important than his schoolwork, that's when I knew I was really important,"Emryn jokes, raising her eyebrows at Harry.

"Nothing ever comes between Auggie and his school work,"Harry agrees, widening his eyes at Emryn.

"Exactly, that's how I knew I was special,"Emryn smirks, yawning widely.

Harry nods, and reaches up to tuck a strand of Emryn's purple hair behind her ear. "You are so special, Emryn Styles."

***

10:00 pm

"Hi, Emryn, it's me again,"Dr. Glass greets, walking into Emryn's hospital room after knocking gently on the door. "How're we doing in here? How're the contractions?"

"They're not stopping,"Emryn sniffles, shaking her head against the pillows as she squeezes Harry's hand tighter, both of them staring right at Dr. Glass with utter fear in their eyes.

"Okay, let me see..."Dr. Glass hums, reaching over for the paper that's been tracking all of Emryn's contractions from the monitor that she's hooked up to. "Okay, about five minute apart average...okay, do you mind if I check you again?"

Emryn closes her eyes and rests her head back against the pillow as a few tears roll down her cheeks, reaching up to wipe at her cheeks as she grips Harry's hand tighter at the question.

She doesn't want to know. This is a defining moment and depending on the answer, her life will change dramatically.

"I don't want to know,"Emryn whispers, barely loud enough to be audible. "I don't want to know."

Dr. Glass solemnly nods and inhales deeply, walking over to Emryn's bed and sitting on the edge, giving her a few seconds to collect herself as Harry rubs his hand gently against Emryn's thigh.

"I can't even imagine how this feels, I really can't and I'm not going to pretend to know,"Dr. Glass whispers, putting his hand gently on top of Emryn's knee that's covered by the blankets. "But right now for your baby it's best to figure out how much you're dilated so that we can be prepared for what we need to do next, alright? Does that make sense? We can take as long as you need, but we do need to just check your cervix."

Emryn sniffles and nods, looking over at Harry who squeezes her hand and nods at her, silently encouraging her. "Okay, I'm ready."

"Alright,"Dr. Glass nods as Emryn reaches to pull the covers off of her legs and plants her feet on the bed, bending her knees and resting her head back against the bed with her eyes squeezed shut as Harry focuses on her, keeping a tight hold of her hand.

She feels like the world is crashing down on her as she feels Dr. Glass's fingers in her cervix, not wanting to know the answer because somewhere deep down inside she already knows the answer, but she doesn't want to know the answer.

"Alright, sweetheart,"Dr. Glass whispers, pulling his fingers out of Emryn and looking up at her as she refuses to look at him, her hand covering her eyes as her shoulders tremble because she knows. Just by the sound of his voice, she knows. "You're a five honey, we can't stop labor anymore. This baby's coming today."

***

11:05 pm (5 centimeters dilated)

She's decided to deal with the trauma she's currently going through by mentally avoiding it. She's not laboring to meet her nineteen week baby, no, she's just laboring to meet her baby. Her baby isn't going to die a few minutes after birth, no, she's going to meet her baby.

She knows she would never be able to get through labor if she was constantly thinking about the horrid outcome that is bound to happen, so she's not going to face that until that moment comes. She wants to enjoy her last few hours of being pregnant without any sadness, and when she meets her baby she wants to be able to love on them as if she'll never have to let them go.

Harry's caught onto that being the way Emryn wants to approach this unthinkable situation, so he goes along with it, following her lead in everything as she handles this situation with more bravery and grace than he thought possible.

"I can pull that,"Harry offers, reaching for Emryn's IV pole that she's currently attached to, being fed medicines to try and help the baby's lungs as much as possible.

"It's okay, it keeps me steady,"Emryn responds, continuing her little patter towards the door with Harry right next to her, her socked feet refusing to lift from the ground as she shuffles forward.

"They need to get some of my birth photography hanging on the walls here,"Emryn notes as her and Harry begin their walk down the hall, staying at Emryn's speed which is quite slow, "the blank white walls are so eerie."

"I hate hospitals,"Harry agrees, looking around them at everything that's so monochrome and symmetrical. He's never been one for hospitals and was always pretty relieved when Camryn decided to deliver at home for four out of their six babies.

"I'm kinda glad Auggie doesn't have to be here for this,"Emryn quietly acknowledges, keeping her eyes locked straight ahead at the end of the long hallway as Harry steals a glance at her. "Hospitals make him so anxious."

"They do, they always have,"Harry nods, combing his fingers through his curly brown hair. "You're so protective over him."

"He deserves it,"Emryn whispers with a tiny grin, resting her hand that's not holding onto the pole on her stomach. "He's the most genuinely kind person I've ever met. He's seriously never said one mean thing to me."

"Well that's good because if he had I would've slapped him,"Harry teases, breaking out into a little smile as Emryn giggles slightly.

"He'd be such a good dad,"Emryn sadly whispers, not looking down at her bump because she knows that will be her final straw. She'd completely break down if she did that. "I really want him to be a dad, he wants to be one so bad."

"This isn't the end, there will be other chances,"Harry promises, looking over at Emryn who has a look on her face that suggests that she's beginning to not believe that reassurance anymore.

"Maybe,"Emryn whispers with a little shrug, reaching up to wipe at a tear that escaped her eye. "We just thought this was the one. It was supposed to be the one."

Harry swallows thickly and nods, shoving his hands into his pockets, refusing to look over at Emryn because he would break. He knows he would. "You two will make great parents when that day comes."

"Thanks,"Emryn whispers tightly from both the emotions building up in her throat and the contraction that's climbing up her back as she immediately reaches to position herself against the wall. She braces her hands against the wall and sways her hips, bowing her head as she inhales and exhales big breathes that make Harry's stomach churn with sympathy.

"Do you want me to rub anywhere? Counter pressure?"Harry offers, needing to feel useful as he watches his daughter go through such intense pain.

"No,"Emryn pinches out before a big exhale, shaking her head as her knees buckle a bit, "pshhh...pshhh, just me...f*ck."

Harry nods and rests his shoulder against the wall, looking at Emryn with the most loving gaze as she continues to battle through the contraction like a pro, lulling her head from side to side as she steps one of her feet on top of the other, her fingers curling against the wall.

"F*ck me,"Emryn whispers, shaking her head as the contraction rolls off of her body, sighing heavily before she looks over at Harry with bleary eyes. "Not you, that would be gross, although if you're anything like your son it would be good."

Harry pretends to gag as he shakes his head at Emryn and points towards the midwife station a few feet away from them, "I'm just gonna go ask the nurse if they have any bleach that I can drink, okay? I'll be right back."

***

12:45 am (5 centimeters dilated)

"I feel like my bump has gotten five times heavier,"Emryn grumbles, widening her eyes as she continues to pace around the room in circles, her hands pressed into her back that's peeking through the hospital gown she's clothed in.

"Yeah? Really?"Harry grins, sitting in a reclining chair in the corner of the room as he watches Emryn pace around, her purple hair tied into a messy ponytail. She's doing well on managing the pain by herself and doesn't seem like she's very interested in having any help or comfort at the moment.

"Yeah,"Emryn breathes out heavily through her pursed lips, rubbing her hand over her small belly. "These socks are the best."

"Cam used to always pocket a few packs when we were leaving the hospital,"Harry chuckles, looking down at Emryn's feet that are covered by teal grippy socks. "And then she'd get mad if I'd try to wear a pair."

"Did mum ever try the gas and air?"Emryn asks, motioning her hand towards the machine in the corner of the room that the midwife told her she can begin using at any time if she'd like.

"No, she tried it with Lennon but it just made her feel really sick,"Harry remembers, shooting his eyes over to the machine that looks practically the same as when Camryn was having Lennon 28 years ago.

"Yeah, that was the same with me when I had Drew,"Emryn agrees, nodding her head knowingly as she keeps her little bounce and sway motion up while she walks on the tile floor. "It actually made me puke."

"Are the contractions pretty similar?"Harry asks curiously, keeping the conversation up with Emryn as she continues to breeze through early labor, and she's grateful for the conversation because it takes her mind off of the overwhelming reality looming over her and her baby that she'd rather not think about. "Cam always felt like they were a bit different with every labor she had."

"Yeah, I think they're a bit different,"Emryn hums thoughtfully, puckering her lips as she tries to think back to her labor with Drew. "Although that was 17 years ago, so I don't remember much of it. And it was such a long labor that I like blanked out for the last 15 hours or so."

"Right,"Harry nods, wringing his hands that are interlocked with each other. Emryn told Harry about Drew two years after her and Auggie started dating when her and Harry's relationship really started flourishing into a best friendship. He'll never forget that night when he learned everything about Emryn. It was just the two of them sitting on the back porch of the Styles house when Harry offered Emryn a beer, but she refused reminding him that she didn't drink which led to Harry innocently asking her if there was a reason which led to her spilling everything. "How's your back feeling? Is it still mostly just in your stomach?"

"Yeah, it's like all right here,"Emryn explains, motioning her hand towards her lower stomach, "it's really low, but I didn't have back labor with Drew, so I guess that makes sense."

"Ah sh*t,"Emryn winces, rolling her eyes as another contraction hits, interrupting their conversation as she stops in her place and begins to rock her hips side to side, pressing her hips inwards with her hands as she bows her head, breathing deeply in and out as her face scrunches up.

"Good job, Em,"Harry grins, watching her carefully as she listens to her body and bends down into a squat, planting her hands on the floor in front of her as she continues to bow her head and breathe deeply, her hips shaking.

"Mmmm, yep,"Emryn groans, rubbing her hand against the side of her bump as her other hand remains on the floor to keep her up. "Thanks for this contraction, babe. This is great..."

Harry chuckles and shakes his head, wiping his palm against his nose in complete awe that Emryn can still find it in herself to laugh and joke while going through this unimaginable emotional pain, but he knows that it's just Emryn. That's just how she deals with pain.

"It should be stopping soon, Em,"Harry promises, looking at his phone and noting that they're approaching a minute on the contraction.

"No sh*t Sherlock,"Emryn wittily responds, pinching out a smirk up at Harry as he laughs and shakes his head, rubbing a palm down his face as he leans back against the recliner.

"Sorry for trying to comfort you through your pain,"Harry laughs, holding his hands up in innocence as Emryn giggles slightly, blowing out a deep breath to signal the end of the contraction.

"I, Emryn Styles am getting coached through labor by the Harry Styles?! I should be so honored, do you know how many girls would willingly take my place,"Emryn teases, standing up from her squat and smirking slyly at Harry. If there's one thing she knows he hates it's his family or friends treating him like the celebrity that he is. It's his biggest pet peeve, so of course Emryn tries to do it as often as possible.

"Shut up,"Harry laughs, grinning over at Emryn as he interlocks his hands again. "You're a pain in my ass, Emryn Styles."

"That's no way to talk to a laboring woman, Harlondo,"Emryn winks, starting back in her pacing again.

***

1:20 am (6 centimeters dilated)

"Mmmm, hi honey,"Emryn whispers, rubbing her hand against her swell of a stomach as she stands in the middle of the room with her hips swaying side to side, her hand cupping the back of her stomach.

"Did they just kick you?"Harry chuckles, standing a few feet in front of Emryn as he reaches out to push up the shoulder of Emryn's hospital down that was beginning to fall down her arm.

"Yeah, they're moving around lots,"Emryn sleepily smiles, opening her eyes slightly as she reaches her hand out for Harry's. "C'mere, feel it."

Emryn takes Harry's hand and places it on her bump over her hospital gown, her hips still swaying side to side as they wait for the little baby to give them a kick. "C'mon sweetheart, show grandpa how strong you are."

"Oh hi babe,"Harry laughs with a huge smile as he looks at Emryn's bump that just gave him a little tap against his hand.

"Oh you're being cheeky for papa, huh? That was a good kick, babe. You're so strong,"Emryn coos down at her bump, holding onto each side of it as Harry continues to hold his hand on top of Emryn's bump.

"I really think it's a boy,"Harry smiles, looking up at Emryn who cracks a smile and brings a hand up to rub at her tired eyes.

"Yeah? I'm still not convinced, but August thinks it's a boy too,"Emryn smiles, yawning widely before her face pinches up, "oh..."

"Yep, that's a contraction stomach,"Harry grins, taking his hand away from Emryn's belly that tightened substantially under his hand as he watches Emryn to allow her to take the lead of what she needs.

"Mmm...ouch,"Emryn whimpers with a little whine as she reaches towards Harry, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"There's my girl,"Harry murmurs, wrapping his arms around Emryn's middle and holding her tightly as Emryn buries her face against Harry's neck. "I've got you, sweetheart."

"Oh, my hips,"Emryn whimpers, pouting her lips against Harry's neck as she tightens her arms around Harry's neck.

"How's this?"Harry asks, moving his hands down to Emryn's hips and beginning to massage them, doing the same counter pressure that he's done on Camryn and Darcy so many times before. "That's perfect breathing, sweetheart."

"Pshhh, ohhh, pshhh,"Emryn breathes deeply, interrupted every so often with little moans as she continues to sway her body along with Harry's.

"Good, good,"Harry whispers in response to Emryn's little moans, resting his cheek down against the side of Emryn's head as she continues to moan against Harry's neck. "Easy, Emryn, that's it. Easy breaths."

He looks down at his daughter clinging onto him, her cheeks red with sweat and her brows pinched. Her cheek is smushed against his shoulder with her lips slightly parted, moans rumbling from them. Her eyes are squeezed shut as she escapes into her own little world that helps her get through the contractions.

"Don't let me go,"Emryn whimpers, tightening her grip around Harry's neck as he continues to move her body in the most soothing manner.

"I won't,"Harry promises, continuing to slow dance with Emryn in the middle of the hospital room. "I've got you."

***

2:30 am (6 centimeters dilated)

"Oh they're moving down,"Emryn groans, huffing out a breath as she continues to roll her forehead against her interlocked arms that are placed on the bed, squatting because it's what feels best for her body currently.

"Yeah these are pretty strong contractions, so things are really moving along,"Harry agrees, rubbing his hand against the base of Emryn's spine.

He reaches down for the water bottle by his feet, snapping the straw out and holding it towards Emryn's face, "do you need a drink, sweetie?"

Emryn gratefully takes a few gulps before reaching for the cooling rag that's resting a few inches away from her on the bed that she angrily ripped off of her neck during the contraction, her body getting a bit overwhelmed at having so many things touching her.

She wipes her face down with the rag, keeping it covering her face for a few seconds as she breathes into it, feeling Harry's hands travel up and down her spine.

"Can you get my hips for a second?"Emryn requests with a little sigh, keeping her face in the rag. "My hips are so bad right now."

"Yeah, 'course,"Harry nods, quickly moving his hands down to Emryn's hips, gripping them and squeezing them inwards just like he's done for Camryn and Darcy so many times.

"Oh thank you,"Emryn sighs in utter relief, nodding her head as she lets it fall back down to her arms that are interlocked against the bed. "That feels so much better."

"No problem babe, keep at it,"Harry encourages, pressing his forehead against Emryn's back gently as he continues to do the counter pressure. "You're doing so good."

***

3:00 am (7 centimeters dilated)

"Good low sound, keep with that one,"Harry whispers in encouragement, rubbing his hand against Emryn's lower back as he kneels behind Emryn who is kneeling in front of the bed, her hands interlocked and resting on the bed as she pushes her forehead against them and moans and groans through her contraction.

"Oh my hell..."Emryn moans, shaking her head in disbelief at the contraction as she continues to shake her hips, feeling Harry's hands work magic on his lower back. She now understands why Harry is the only one Darcy wants doing counter pressure on her when she's in labor.

"Keep breathing, easy, easy, that's it, Emmy, good job,"Harry praises, watching Emryn's legs tremble below her as he silently yawns, shaking his head to wake him up more and blinks his eyes a few second. He forgot how wearing labor is, especially when it's three am and you've been at it all night with an end no where in sight.

"Oh!"Emryn whimpers, her lips pouting as she unlocks her hands and reaches down to grip the sheets, face planting into the mattress as she whines and whimpers, her sounds beginning to become high pitched as she gets overwhelmed with the contraction.

"You're okay, you're doing awesome,"Harry encourages, pressing his hands even harder into Emryn's back. "It's almost done, honey, almost done."

"Dad, oh my gosh, dad,"Emryn gasps, turning her head to the side against the mattress as her fingers curl around the sheets tighter, whines escaping her mouth.

"I'm here,"Harry promises, rubbing his hand against her back and pressing a little kiss to her shoulder blade that's covered by the hospital gown. "I'm right here with you."

"Dad I need some relief...I need...I need something,"Emryn whimpers, beginning to cry overwhelmed tears as she rolls her forehead against the mattress. "I'm so tired...and so done."

"Do you want an epidural, sweetheart? I'll go get the midwife if you want one,"Harry offers, rubbing Emryn's upper back now that her contraction is done.

"No, no meds, I want to do it just me,"Emryn whimpers, shaking her head against the mattress as her shoulders begin to tremble more. "I want to be able to keep feeling the baby."

"Okay, that's okay,"Harry immediately soothes, moving quickly to be beside Emryn and putting his arm around her shoulders, rubbing her shoulder as he leans down towards the mattress to be on the same level as Emryn. "Do you want to try the tub? We haven't tried the water yet."

"Yeah,"Emryn whispers with a big sniffle, her cheeks smushed against the mattress as she looks at Harry with tears eyes, a little nod moving her head. "Yeah."

"Yeah? Okay, let's do it,"Harry grins, rubbing Emryn's shoulder as he leans down to press a kiss to her forehead. "Should we move before you get another contraction?"

Emryn nods and straightens up from leaning over the bed, holding her hands out for Harry as he helps her stand up and carefully make her way across the room into the attached bathroom.

Harry carefully lets go of Emryn once he knows she's stable and walks over to the large circular tub, turning it on and sitting on the edge as he keeps his fingers under the faucet to get it to the right temperature.

Harry looks up from the filling tub, looking over at Emryn who has her eyes closed and her head bowed, her hair falling into her face as she holds her bump in between her hands, one on top and one on the bottom as her body rocks side to side since she's finding it hard to stay still this far into labor.

"I love you,"Harry whispers, as he stands up and walks over to Emryn, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and just sensing that she needs a hug, which he was right about. He presses his lips to the top of her head as he feels her arms wrap around his middle, snuggling her cheek into his chest in desperate need of a dad hug. It makes her feel so safe, and she knows better than anyone that sometimes you just need some parental comfort no matter how old you are. "And I'm so proud of you."

"I love you too,"Emryn whispers, her cheek pressed against Harry's upper chest as she bends slightly at the hips, their bodies swaying together.

"The tub is filling up and it's going to help so much,"Harry hums as he continues to press kiss to the top of Emryn's head. "It will make your hips feel os much better, I know those have been bothering you. And you can hold onto me, or you can just do your own thing, whatever you need. It's going to be a lot better, okay? You have nothing to worry about."

"Okay,"Emryn whispers, nodding her head against Harry's chest as her fingers splay out against his back.

"You're so strong,"Harry whispers, continuing to listen to the sound of the tub filling up that makes a nice little song for their little slow dance. "You're doing so amazing. I think the tub is filled enough to start getting in if you want."

Emryn silently nods and pulls away from Harry as he reaches for the tie around Emryn's neck that's keeping her hospital gown on her. As he unties it, it drops to the floor at her feet, leaving her in just a sports bra, so Harry politely adverts his eyes from anywhere below her bump. He wraps his arm around Emryn's back and holds onto her hand, guiding her towards the tub that's about half full.

"Here, hold onto me as you step in...careful, careful, you've almost got it,"Harry murmurs, as Emryn picks her leg up and puts it into the tub, leaning heavily on Harry to help her in.

"There we go, there we go,"Harry whispers as he helps her lower into the tub as she kneels down, leaning over the edge and sighing gratefully at the peaceful feeling of the hot water around her hips, immediately holding her arms out for Harry, her eyes still shut.

"I've got you,"Harry murmurs, guiding Emryn's arms around his neck as she hides her face there, rocking her hips in the water. "There's my baby girl."

"Mmmm, it hurts, dad,"Emryn whimpers, feeling Harry's hands trickle up and down her bare back.

"I know it does, but you're way stronger than all of this,"Harry encourages, pressing a kiss to Emryn's temple. "You're the strongest person I've ever known."

***

4: 30 am (7 centimeters dilated)

"You're doing so good, darling,"Harry encourages, watching Emryn in the tub who has completely gone within herself. She's not responding to Harry at all anymore, it's just her and her baby, and Harry is learning that like Morgan, Emryn seems to be just fine going through pain alone, although she is a lot more willing to have help than Morgan was.

"Ohhhh..."Emryn moans, rocking back and forth on her knees in the tub, the hot water swishing around her body as she bows her head, a few strands of her pink and blue hair falling in her face that's puckered up in pain.

"Keep breathing through this one, it's gonna go soon,"Harry murmurs, keeping his spot where he's kneeling outside of the tub with his hands interlocked and resting on the edge of it, looking at his daughter in law, who also happens to be one of his best friends, in so much pain as she works to bring her baby into the world.

Her baby who is far too small to bring into the world.

"Good job, Emmy,"Harry whispers as he listens to Emryn's sounds quiet, a few long and deep breaths. He reaches for her water bottle that's placed beside him, holding it out towards Emryn. "Do you need a drink?"

Emryn nods and exhales deeply, turning her head to take a few deep sips of water, keeping her hands on the bottom of the tub. "This f*cking sucks."

He knows what she means. She's not just talking about the pain, as some may assume, no, she's talking about so much more. This entire situation f*cking sucks. There's no other way to explain it than that. It all just f*cking sucks.

"I know it does,"Harry whispers solemnly, setting the water bottle down once Emryn turns her head away from it.

"Hoah, it hurts,"Emryn moans, rolling her head back on the ball of her neck as her trembling arms continue to hold her up. "My back..."

"I know your back hurts so bad, I'm sorry, honey,"Harry sympathizes, dipping his plastic cup into the hot tub water again and pouring it over Emryn's lower back. "Do you want more of your popsicle, lovey?"

"Yeah,"Emryn whimpers, crumpling her face up and nodding as she turns her head towards Harry, blearily watching as he picks up her popsicle from the little napkin it was resting on beside Harry's knees.

"Here, honey,"Harry offers, picking up the popsicle and holding it towards Emryn's mouth that's open slightly as she sucks on the popsicle, her eyes falling closed tiredly.

"Is August almost here?"Emryn whimpers, her eyebrows constantly pinched in pain as she continues to suck at the red popsicle, her eyes begging Harry to give her the answer she wants, begging him to somehow get Auggie here. She needs him to tell her that he's close to being here, it's the only way she can go on.

"He's coming, honey, I promise you he is,"Harry sincerely promises, reaching out to cup Emryn's cheek and rub his thumb against her skin. "I promise you."

"I need August,"Emryn whimpers, her lips wobbling as they sputter out a sob, her body rocking back in forth in an effort to sooth herself.

"I know you do, I know,"Harry nods, sniffling himself as he desperately tries to keep back his tears. He can't break in front of her, he needs to be strong for her. "He's coming."

"Can—can you get his flannel I brought,"Emryn asks, looking at Harry with droopy brown eyes that are begging him with every ounce of strength she has left.

"Of course I can, of course,"Harry quickly nods, setting the popsicle down and standing up from his spot kneeling outside of the tub, rushing out of the bathroom and into the hospital room as he goes towards Emryn's backpack that she hastily packed before they left for the hospital, everything in there haphazardly shoved in.

He pulls out the emerald flannel that Emryn packed of Auggie's as he rushes back into the room just as Emryn starts to moan again with another contraction.

"Here, honey, here's the flannel,"Harry quickly whispers, kneeling down in front of the tub and holding the flannel out towards Emryn as she turns around in the tub and reaches for the flannel, setting it down against the edge of the tub as a pillow of sorts as she drops her face down to it, breathing in Auggie's scent as she kneels in the tub.

"Augs,"Emryn moans out, burying her face into the familiar smell as she grips onto the flannel, the sound of her moaning out his son's name in pain and desperation immediately making Harry's heart sink to the floor.

"August, please,"Emryn cries out, rocking back and forth desperately in the tub as her fingers clench around the flannel, the closest thing she has to the person she so desperately needs right now.

Harry doesn't know what to say, for once he's speechless, so he instead just puts his hand in Emryn's purple hair and scrunches his fingers against her scalp as she continues to beg for his son that he can't give to her.

"August,"Emryn moans loudly, ending with a whimper as she hauls in a deep breath and moans out again, "honey please..."

"He's coming, sweetheart, he's coming I promise,"Harry whispers, watching Emryn bite into the flannel as her body continues to contract.

"August...August I want August,"Emryn cries out, her voice muffled against Auggie's flannel.

***

6:00 am (8 centimeters dilated)

"What would feel good, honey?"Harry asks Emryn who is absolutely miserable as of now as she battles through transition. He's seen transition enough times to know what it looks like, and this is definitely transition.

"Nothing,"Emryn whines, kneeling on the bed with her hand grasping Harry's as she restlessly tries every position she can get into on the bed, but nothing feels right. Nothing helps to ease the pain, and she wants to just curl up in a little ball and go home. "I wanna go home!"

"I know, I know you do, sweet girl,"Harry soothes, taking a deep breath as he mentally prepares himself to watch transition again. It was horrible to watch Camryn go through it, but Harry and Camryn would both agree that watching your child go through it is unimaginably worse. They both feel sick every time they have to watch Darcy go through it, and it feels the exact same watching Emryn go through it. She's his little girl just as much as the rest of his daughters are, even though he's known her for the least amount of time (which is still nine years).

"I wanna go home, dad,"Emryn blubbers, shaking her head as she grips onto his hand harder, cupping her lower bump that's completely bare, only a sports bra covering her breast as her legs tremble in their kneeling position. "I wanna sleep and go home and I want Auggie!"

"I know, you're kicking transition's ass, honey,"Harry grins, looking at Emryn who's crumbling in front of his eyes as she continues to fidget on the bed, trying to figure out what position would feel best.

"My f*ck..."Emryn growls, setting her palm down onto the mattress as she drags her hand that's interlocked with Harry's down to the bed again as she begins to rock back and forth on her hands and knees, squeezing the life out of Harry's hand.

"F*ck, f*ck, f*ck,"Emryn yells, gripping onto the sheets as she grips on harder to Harry's hand. "Dad! Help! Dad!"

"Honey, you're okay, you are, Em,"Harry whispers, leaning down to cup Emryn's sweaty cheek in his hand as he continues to hold her hand, his hand going numb. "You're doing so good."

"I wanna go...home..."Emryn sobs out, groaning in between each word as she breaks down again, shaking her head through the contraction. "I wanna go home!"

"You're going to get to go home so soon, honey,"Harry gives a little white lie, rubbing his thumb against Emryn's cheek as she blows a raspberry through her lips. "I love you."

***

7:00 am (8 centimeters dilated)

"Ohhhh, owwww,"Emryn moans lowly, gripping onto Harry's hand with her right hand and digging her nails into his forearm with her left. "Ohhh!"

"You're okay, you're okay, I'm right here,"Harry soothes, sitting on a stool right next to her body as she lays on her side on the bed.

"Ohhhh, it really hurts!"Emryn cries out, whimpering at the end. "Oh! Dad!"

"I know, Emmy, I know,"Harry nods, reaching his free hand out to rub Emryn's sweaty hair back from her forehead as another rumbling moan escapes her lips.

"You're okay,"Harry soothes, nodding slowly and encouragingly at her. "I've got you, Emmy."

"Oh, I can't!"Emryn cries out, digging her nails in deeper to Harry's forearm. "Dad, I don't want to! Dad! Please!"

"Emryn, Emryn sweetheart, look at me,"Harry soothingly coos, leaning his head down to be level with Emryn's teary brown eyes. "Just look at me. There you go. Breathe, sweetheart. Just take deep breaths."

"I'm trying,"Emryn whimpers, her body fidgeting as she whines. "I'm trying! I am!"

"I know you are,"Harry soothes, nodding slowly and cupping Emryn's damp cheek. "I'm so proud of you, love. You're doing amazing."

"'M not!"Emryn sobs, shaking her head miserably against the pillow as her lips wobble and blubber.

"Yes you are, sweetheart, you're doing amazing. I'm so proud of you,"Harry encourages, rubbing his thumb against Emryn's knuckles. "Just breathe, breathe through this one."

"Oh, ahhhh,"Emryn groans, tucking her mouth down to Harry and her interlocked hands moaning against them as she restlessly moves her body in the bed, her whole body incredibly tense and tight.

"Good low sound, that's perfect,"Harry soothes, resting his free hand on her bare hip that's covered in tattoos, rubbing the skin there, "ride this one out, you're doing perfect."

"My f*cking vagina,"Emryn hisses, dropping her hand that was interlocked with Harry down to cup her vagina as she clamps her thighs against it, her legs fidgeting as she continues to moan.

"Oh my hell,"Emryn miserably wails as Harry helplessly watches her, his hand still resting on Emryn's hip. "My vagina, oh my gosh...my vagina is breaking..."

"You're okay,"Harry whispers, biting back his chuckle as he bites down on his lower lip, watching as Emryn continues to absolutely writher in pain.

"Oh, hand, hand,"Emryn cries out, reaching her hand that was cupping her vagina up towards Harry's hand and gripping onto it tightly before either of them can think about how unusual it is...although this entire situation is unusual so maybe it fits.

"I've got you, honey, you are just fine, I promise,"Harry encourages, listening to another pained wail leave Emryn's throat as she squeezes his hand before taking a few heaving breaths as the contraction begins to fizzle away, leaving her completely worn out.

"I'm so sorry...that's so gross,"Emryn murmurs sleepily with her eyes closed, blearily motioning her head towards their interlocked hands.

Harry chuckles gently and leans forward to press a kiss to Emryn's sweaty forehead. "It's okay, I don't mind."

"We're getting too close,"Emryn whispers, still able to joke by some miracle even in the depths of transition. "We need to spend some time away from each other Harlando."

"Yeah, I'll just leave right now,"Harry teases back, looking at Emryn with the most loving and proud dad eyes.

"Don't you dare,"Emryn murmurs, still refusing to open her eyes.

"I wouldn't dare,"Harry smiles, leaning in to press another kiss to Emryn's wrinkled forehead. "I'm scared of you."

"You should be,"Emryn grumbles before peeking her eyes open to look down at her bare bump, "are they okay?"

"They are, do you hear that?"Harry asks, going quiet so that Emryn can hear the sound of her baby's thudding heartbeat in the background of the room from the computer that's monitoring her. "That's their heartbeat. You just listen to that, okay? Focus on that."

***

7:30 am (8 centimeters dilated)

"Ohhhh...ohhhh...ohhh,"Emryn moans, her sweaty cheek pressed against Harry's shoulder as he holds her body up, his arms wrapped around her middle as she rests all of her weight on him, her knees trembling on top of the bed.

"Good breathing, sweetheart,"Harry encourages, using his fingers to delicately brush back some of Emryn's sweaty bright green hair from her forehead. "You're okay."

"My hips,"Emryn whimpers, continuing to blow hot and deep breaths onto Harry's neck.

"I know your hips hurt so bad, I'm sorry,"Harry murmurs, rubbing his hands against Emryn's lower back and moving them to massage her hips to try and alleviate some of the pressure there.

"How're we doing in here my love?"the midwife asks quietly, walking to stand by Emryn's trembling body that Harry's holding up as she places a gentle hand on Emryn's lower back.

"Not good,"Emryn whimpers miserably, shaking her head against Harry's neck as he cracks a smile while looking at the midwife and cups the back of Emryn's head.

"She's doing awesome,"Harry tells the midwife, pressing a kiss to the top of Emryn's head, "she's just being humble."

"You look like you're progressing wonderfully, honey,"the midwife praises gently, watching as Emryn tightens her arms around Harry's neck.

"I don't want to..."Emryn cries, shaking her head and collapsing further into Harry as he almost has to take a step back at the sudden weight that he has to support in his arms.

"I've got you, it's okay, my love,"Harry whispers, nuzzling his face close down against Emryn's and scrunching his fingers lovingly through her hair. "It's okay, just get through this contraction."

"That is a wonderful contraction, darling,"the midwife encourages, watching Emryn's body tremble with the contraction as she rocks her body back and forth, clinging onto Harry as if he's the only thing grounding her.

"Oh! Oh it's hurting!"Emryn yells, reaching her hand up to Harry's hair and pulling it as Harry pushes her hips further in.

"You're safe, you're doing perfect,"Harry promises, looking over at the midwife who's looking at them with the most loving eyes as she reaches out to give Harry's bicep an encouraging squeeze, letting him know that she thinks he's doing great at encouraging her.

"I'm s-so shaky,"Emryn whimpers, her teeth chattering as she rests her cheek down against Harry's shoulder, inhaling deeply and exhaling as she tries to steady herself.

"That's okay,"Harry promises, rubbing both of his hands up and down Emryn's bare and shaking back that's drenched in seat. "It's just your hormones. Camryn always got really shaky as well, Darcy does too."

"Yeah, it's a good sign that we're going through transition and going to meet your baby soon,"the midwife echoes Harry, reaching out to gently rub her hand against Emryn's upper back. "You're doing amazing."

"I'm sick, I'm going to be sick,"Emryn whimpers, pulling away from Harry as she breaks out into a hot sweat, her face immediately paling as the midwife rushes over to the table to grab a bin for Emryn, handing it to Harry as he puts it under her chin in just enough time for Emryn to be sick into it.

"That's okay, that's another sign of transition, my love. You get it all out,"the midwife sweetly explains, rubbing her hand against Emryn's back as she continues to heave into the bin, spilling her stomach into it.

"You're okay, get it out, sweetie,"Harry whispers, Emryn's hand gripping onto his shoulder to keep her steady as she continues to puke into the bin. "You're doing so good."

"F*ck this,"Emryn murmurs bitterly, turning away from the bin as Harry hands it to the midwife before he grabs Emryn's water bottle, handing it to her and grabbing a cold wash cloth and patting at her forehead and cheeks to try and cool them.

"You're almost done, babe, you're doing so incredible,"Harry encourages, swiping her red hot cheeks with the wash cloth.

***

7:50 am (8 centimeters dilated)

"Hoahhhhh..."Emryn moans, leaning over the raised head of the bed, digging her forehead into her folded arms, her body swaying with the contraction as her toes curl against the bed.

"This one's almost gone, sweetheart,"Harry encourages, rubbing his palm against the bottom of Emryn's bare back, "you're doing so good."

"Hoah, hah, hah, ow!"Emryn pants, squeezing her hands into fists as she bites down on the sheet of the bed, feeling her contraction shoot down her legs and settle in her hips.

"That's it, Emmy, that's it,"Harry encourages, reaching his free hand up to squeeze Emryn's shoulder encouragingly as he tries to advert his eyes from Emryn's waist down since she's lost all clothes except for a sports bra, although he knows Emryn's not anywhere near the right headspace to care about who's looking where.

"My gosh,"Emryn groans gutturally, gripping onto the mattress and pulling it in anger. "F*cking hell, c'mon...."

"It's going down, Emmy, I'm watching it go down,"Harry promises, focusing on the computer on the opposite side of the bed as the red contraction line goes down at a steady pace.

"Ohhhkay, mmm'kay,"Emryn breathes out deeply, nodding her forehead against her folded arms as she tries to gather herself and slow down her breathing. "Done...it's done."

"Yeah, it's done, sweetie, good job,"Harry smiles lovingly, rubbing Emryn's shoulder and moving more up towards her head to press a kiss to her sweaty temple as she reaches up to rub her sweaty hair back from her forehead.

"Hoah, I'm so hot,"Emryn whimpers, her face crumpling up as she blows a deep breath out, puffing her cheeks up, "it's so hot."

"Let me tie up your hair, sweetheart,"Harry murmurs, reaching for Emryn's damp purple hair that's almost completely fallen out of the ponytail that she put it in right when they got to the hospital. He gathers up her hair in his hand and begins to tie it in a little ponytail as Emryn continues to sway her hips and breathe in and out evenly.

"How's that?"Harry asks, dropping his hands to Emryn's sweaty shoulders and massaging them gently. "Do you want a little drink?"

"Yeah,"Emryn sighs, resting her cheek down against her crossed forearms with a huff as she blows a raspberry with her lips, her lips squishing together.

"Here, love,"Harry whispers, holding the straw towards Emryn's lips as she opens them slightly to begin taking a few sips of it as she keeps her eyes closed.

"I'm starting to feel pressure,"Emryn murmurs as she takes one of her hands and puts it on the underside of her bump before returning to drinking the cold water that's so refreshing to her dry throat. 

"Yeah? That's okay, things are really moving along, so that's normal,"Harry comforts, reaching his free hand over to the bucket of rags on the table beside the bed and laying one against the back of Emryn's neck. "You're doing awesome, Em."

"Mmm,"Emryn moans, her face crumpling up with a whimper as she pulls away from the straw and goes back to burying her face against her forearms, hiding from everything around her as her hips sway rapidly, trying to ease the pressure that's greatly increasing with the contraction.

"OHHH pressure!"Emryn moans loudly, her voice deep and guttural as she grips onto the sheet hard enough that she's two seconds away from tearing it.

"Breathe through the pressure, Emmy, you're okay,"Harry soothes, increasing the pressure and speed at which he's rubbing Emryn's lower back. "You're safe."

"Ohhhh, ohhhh, it's comin', it's comin',"Emryn whimpers in agony, crying out in pain that makes Harry's heart crumble to pieces. "Oh I feel lots of pressure, dad!"

"Okay,"Harry nods, resting his hand that's not rubbing Emryn's lower back on her forearm to offer her some comfort, "I'll get a midwife after this contraction, honey."

"Mmm, pushing,"Emryn groans, tucking her chin to her chest as she pushes downwards, groaning loudly as her whole body tenses. "Pushing!"

"That's okay, you push sweetheart, you're safe, I'm right here,"Harry comforts, trying to not only comfort Emryn but himself since he feels like he's about to piss his pants right here.

"Hahhh, get out,"Emryn growls, her fingers tightening against the sheets as her body rocks backwards into another push, completely surrendering to her body's urges.

"Good, good, Emryn,"Harry nods, pressing his hand against Emryn's lower back for counter pressure. "Keep going, you're doing awesome."

"Ow, ow, ow, sh*t,"Emryn gasps with a whimper as she reaches her hand down to cup her vagina, whimpering in a high pitch. "Ow, ow, it hurts!"

"I know, I know it hurts, honey, but you're doing so good,"Harry encourages, pressing a kiss to Emryn's temple as her whole face crumples up in a pout, her body continuing to rock back and forth.

"Oh my hell, oh my hell, I need help,"Emryn gasps, gripping onto the bedsheet and bowing her head as she puffs out her cheeks continually with big breaths.

"I'll go get a midwife,"Harry quickly responds, running across the hospital room as he bursts through the door, running down the hall to the midwife station and scaring a the midwife sitting there half to death as she looks up from the notes she was filling out.

"My daughter, she's in room 26 and she's feeling loads of pressure, she pushed with her last contraction,"Harry pants through his explanation as the midwife nods and jumps up from her seat, running after Harry down the hall as they find Emryn in the same position that she was where Harry last left her.

"Hello my darling, I hear you're ready to push,"the midwife coos, rushing over to Emryn and putting her hand on Emryn's upper back as she looks at the young girl who's still burying her head against her folded forearms.

"Yeah,"Emryn whimpers, nodding her head against her folded arms as her body continues to rock back and forth.

"Can I check you really quick darling, just to make sure we don't have any cervix left,"the midwife asks, hearing Emryn whimper before she nods and very unwillingly picks her head up from her forearms, looking at the midwife with a pout that accurately displays how absolutely miserable she feels.

"Can I have you on your back honey, just while I check you?"the midwife asks and she gets a head nod from Emryn before Harry rushes to grab Emryn's arms and help her turn over onto her back against the bed.

"Perfect, my love, I'm just going to check you really quick, okay?"the midwife cautions Emryn as she watches Harry lean over Emryn, shrouding her with his body as a way to protect her as she grabs onto both of his biceps and keeps her teary eyes locked in his for some comfort, "I'll be really gentle, I promise."

"Hurry,"Emryn whimpers with wobbly lips as Harry shushes her comfortingly and nods at her encouragingly, keeping his eyes locked with Emryn's.

"I will, love, I promise,"the midwife responds, sticking her fingers in Emryn as she jumps and whimpers, her eyes squeezing shut.

"You're okay, you're okay, shhh, it's okay, sweetheart, I know it,"Harry soothes, nodding encouragingly at Emryn as she whines and rolls her head around on the pillow. "I've got you. I love you."

"Dad,"Emryn whimpers, digging her nails in deeper to Harry's biceps as her legs restlessly move.

"I know, I've got you,"Harry soothes, leaning down to press a kiss against Emryn's sweaty forehead, "I'm so proud of you."

"Alright my love,"the midwife sighs, resting her hand on Emryn's knee and knowing that she's going to give news that is not at all what Emryn wants to hear. "So we've got a bit of cervix left and you're only dilated to an eight—"

"But I need to push,"Emryn cries out, flinging her head back against the bed in desperation as she wails out in desperation.

"I know you feel like you do,"the midwife coos, her heart sinking as she looks at the agony displayed by Emryn while Harry desperately tries to calm her, "but we'll prevent so much tearing if we wait to push okay?"

"I can't, I can't, dad, I can't,"Emryn sobs, turning her head to the side to try and hide again as she digs her nails into Harry's tattooed biceps.

"Hey, sweet girl, look at me,"Harry gently commands, nudging his head closer to Emryn. "You can do this, you can so do this. I'm watching you do it right now."

"But, I want to push,"Emryn cries, looking up at Harry as her lips wobble, tears streaming down her face.

"I know, and we'll push so soon, we just have to breathe for a minute and then we'll push, okay?"Harry comforts, watching as Emryn begins to cry softer, looking up at him with begging eyes, but feeling a bit comforted now that he's explaining everything to her.

"You just breathe slow and evenly with your dad whenever a contraction comes around, alright my love?"the midwife instructs, "and that will help to soften your cervix and then we'll be pushing in no time."

***

8:10 am (8 centimeters dilated)

"And breathe, big breath, good,"Harry coaches, leaning over Emryn as she lays back against the bed with her head tightly thrown back against the pillow, her jaw clenched as she tries to focus on Harry's voice coaching her through breathing instead of the immense pressure in between her legs that's growing more and more by the second.

"Hoah!"Emryn groans with a whimper, turning her head to the side against the pillow with her face pinched up in pain, her hand gripping onto Harry's wrist, his palm resting against the side of Emryn's bump.

"I know, I know, keep your focus, honey,"Harry encourages, trying to regain Emryn's eye contact as he keeps his hand cupping the side of her bump, hovering above her. "You're almost done. You're doing a great job."

"I need...to push!"Emryn cries out, her legs bent and planted onto the mattress, trembling uncontrollably as she yells out again, throwing her head back against the bed. "Please! I need to! Dad! Please!"

"I know you need to, hey, I know, look at me,"Harry soothes, nudging his face closer to Emryn's completely miserable and pained one as she peers at him through her eyes that are squinted in pain. "Look at me."

Emryn's pain filled and watery brown eyes look up at Harry, her brows pinched together as she watches him haul in a deep breath, holding it as he waits for Emryn to follow his lead as she takes in a shaky breath.

"Let it out, good breathing, sweetheart, in again,"Harry coaches, inhaling dramatically as Emryn follows his lead, stopping the blood supply to his wrist as she continues to grip onto it. "We just need to breathe. Just breathe through this one."

"I can't—,"Emryn cries out in utter exhaustion and pure misery. Everything is too much. Everything. Not only is she having a baby, she's having a baby that she knows is going to die. She's having a baby that she knows the midwives won't be able to help after its born. She's having a baby that she can't save, and as much as she's trying not to think about that because it makes it harder to cope with the contractions, it's hard to not have that in the back of her mind. "I can't do it! I can't!"

"You can, you can, Emmy,"Harry promises, bringing his hand up that Emryn's not clutching onto to comb through the stray purple sticky pieces of hair that are clinging to her sweaty forehead. "You're being so strong. I'm so proud of you."

"I don't want to push them out,"Emryn completely breaks down, her lips wobbling as she clutches harder onto Harry's wrist and bicep, her eyes begging him to do something. To change something about this horrendous situation she's in. "I don't want to! Tell them to let me keep them in, please dad. I can keep them in. I can!"

Harry feels his throat begin to ache as his eyes water, having to swallow down the thickness in his throat as he looks at Emryn right in her brown eyes, feeling like he'll completely breakdown with her if he dares to open his mouth.

"I wish I could honey,"Harry chokes out, his voice thick and shaky as he takes in trembling breaths that hurt his chest, "if there's one thing in this world that I could do, it would be that."

"My baby..."Emryn sobs, wails ripping through her mouth, "my baby...is...going...to die!" 

He doesn't know what to say. What do you say to that? He can't comfort her in saying that won't happen...because it's going to. So what do you tell to a mother who knows her child is going to die? How do you comfort someone when they're feeling the worst pain a person can experience in this life.

He doesn't know, but he doesn't have to figure it out because before he can respond, Emryn cries out again.

"I want August!"Emryn wails out, throwing her head back against the pillow as loud sobs rip through her throat. Sobs of absolute desperation.

"I know you do, honey,"Harry sniffles as a few tears roll down his cheeks, nodding his head at Emryn who's crumbling right before his eyes. "He's coming, but I've gotcha."

"August..."Emryn cries again, fearful tears rolling down her cheeks as Harry leans in to press a kiss against her forehead, his eyes clenching shut as he cradles the back of her head to keep his lips against her forehead as she sobs under his body.

"I've got you, I've got you,"Harry murmurs with his lips still against her forehead. "I've got you."

***

8:35 am (8 centimeters dilated)

"HOAH DAD!"Emryn yells, gripping onto Harry's hand as tight as she can as she reaches back to grip onto the hospital pillow. "Dad! Dad!"

"Hey, I know, look at me,"Harry soothes, nodding his head encouragingly at Emryn as he leans over her body to shroud her protectively, trying to help her feel safer as he feels her thighs tremble below him on the bed, her body restless as it desperately tries to back away from the urges to push. "Emmy, look at me, focus on me and we'll breathe..."

"I can't, dad I can't,"Emryn sobs, losing all of the control and shaking her head as her head falls back against the pillow, her chest heaving up and down. "Dad let me push, I have to push!"

"Sweetheart, Emmy, honey,"Harry whispers, his eyes stuck on her sweaty face as he reaches up to rub back Emryn's sweaty hair from her forehead, nodding encouragingly at her as she continues to clench her eyes shut, her hand trying to break his. "Honey, we have to breathe, the midwives want you to breathe."

"I can't dad, I can't...pressure,"Emryn cries out, squinting her eyes open to look at Harry who's looking down at her with the most loving eyes, "please dad...dad..."

"Emmy girl, look at me,"Harry soothes, her pained brown eyes meeting his green ones as pained breaths and groans escape her mouth. "There we are, just breathe, everything's okay, just breathe with me, sweetheart."

"Dad, I have to push,"Emryn screams, changing her grip from his hand to grip onto his forearms, digging her fingers in and looking at him with the most pained eyes, her chest heaving as she gives a little push.

"Emmy, was that a push, honey?"Harry asks, reaching his hand up to comb through the blue hair above Emryn's ear, tucking it behind her ear as he watches her face pinch up slightly. He's seen that face. He's seen that face on Camryn six times before and Darcy three times. Her body is pushing and she can't fight it anymore.

"Dad! Help! I'm pushing!"Emryn screeches, her legs restlessly moving in the bed as Harry nods and reaches one of his hands over to slam against the red call button beside Emryn's bed.

"Emryn, breathe, just breathe until the midwives get in here,"Harry instructs gently, watching as his daughter blearily looks at him, the only thing she's able to focus on is the pressure in between her legs that makes it feel like the baby's head is right in between her knees.

"Where are they?"Emryn cries out, throwing her head back against the bed with a tightly clenched jaw as she digs her nails into Harry's biceps.

"They're coming, they're coming,"Harry assures Emryn, and right on time, as if they were listening to Harry, the midwives run in with the doors crashing behind them, three of them running in one after another and going straight to Emryn.

"She's pushing, she can't help it anymore,"Harry quickly explains before any of the midwives can inquire what's wrong.

"Are we feeling really pushy, my darling?"one of the midwives, the younger of the three asks, resting her hand on Emryn's shoulder as one of the older midwives sits on the bed by Emryn's feet that are braced on the bed, her knees bent and slamming together as her legs restlessly move in response to the pressure.

"Emryn, my darling, can I get you to stop moving your legs for a second so I can check you?"the midwife sweetly asks, prying Emryn's quivering knees apart from each other. "I know it's hard to stop moving them, I know, you're doing fabulously."

"Alright, I'm just going to slip my fingers in very gently, okay, sweet girl?"the midwife cautions Emryn, but it's for no reason really since Emryn is completely wailing in pain as Harry tries to calm her, attempting to keep their eye contact strong as Emryn looks at him with the most pained expression.

"Oh wow, my darling, this little babe really wants to meet you,"the midwife smiles sadly as soon as she gets Emryn's thighs pried apart, revealing the circumference of a tiny baby's head peeking through between Emryn's lips. "Your baby's head is right here, my love, but we're still not fully dilated yet, we're still eight centimeters, so I need you to just keep breathing for now, okay?"

"No,"Emryn sobs, her baby's strong heartbeat thudding in her ears. They're alive. Her baby is alive. And obviously, for some reason she can't quite understand, they want to meet her right now. She knows in her heart, her mum heart, that her baby wants to meet her, almost as if they're talking to her.

And then, in the fog that her brain is now, she realizes something that changes everything. Her baby is so eager to meet her because they want to meet her alive. They want to give her the privilege and opportunity of finally meeting one of her babies while they're still breathing.

She needs to meet them. She'll deliver the baby by herself if needs be.

"I want to meet them,"Emryn stutters out, her chest heaving as she pants, her words breathless and her eyes glancing blearily between the midwives and Harry as her head rolls around on the pillow of the hospital bed, her fingers still digging into Harry's forearms. "They want to meet me. Please, I need them, I need them to be alive when I meet them, please. Let me meet my baby."

"Honey, you could tear a lot, love,"the midwife tries to press, her medical brain and her moral brain fighting with each other. She knows it's not the best thing for Emryn's body to push, but she also knows that it's the best thing for her heart if she does push.

She's not stupid and Emryn's not stupid. They all know that they're walking on eggshells here with time. They don't have time which is the problem. The most time Emryn's in labor, the greater the chance that the baby dies while still in Emryn's stomach. But, if they can get the baby out as soon as possible, it allows Emryn to at least have a few minutes with the baby before it passes.

"I will literally rip my vagina in half if I have to,"Emryn pants, almost growling as she looks right at the midwives with an expression that tells them that they're not going to win this fight. She'll do whatever she has to do if it means she gets to meet her baby. She's lost ten babies before this, she has to meet at least one of her babies while they're still breathing.

She can see the midwives still considering what they should do, it shows on their faces that they're unsure of the call to make, unsure if they should go with their heads or their hearts. It's a choice they often have to make as midwives.

The fact that they're unsure of what to do makes her furious. Full on mumma bear furious. They're not going to let her meet her baby while they're still alive? It's enough to make her want to strangle someone.

"Let me meet my baby,"Emryn all but growls, well, it sounds like a harsh growl in her head, but really to everyone else in the room it comes out as a desperate plea, her voice cracking slightly as she rolls her head on the pillow to look at Harry with eyes that break him. Eyes that make him want to break down and cry in a little ball. Eyes that are more broken than any he's ever seen before. "Dad, please!"

Harry looks at the midwives with begging and teary eyes, feeling Emryn continue to dig her nails into his biceps as his chest shakes a bit, his voice catching in his throat with pleaded emotion, "please let her meet them. Can she push?"

"Okay, yeah, we can push if we're ready to,"the midwife allows, standing up from the bed and snapping off her gloves as she walks over to bin them. "What position does your body need, sweetheart?"

"I don't know,"Emryn cries out deliriously, shaking her head and clenching deeper onto Harry's biceps, looking at him with crazed eyes that are so overwhelmed.

Everything is happening so fast and she can't process anything and she's in so much pain and her body is doing so many things that she's not in control of and she just wants Auggie. She's never needed him more than in this moment.

"Emmy, honey, look at me,"Harry soothes, catching Emryn's teary brown eyes and knowing that the thing she needs most right now is calmness. She needs to be a able to have someone who's levelheaded to keep her calm, "take a deep breath, it's okay, what position is your body telling you you want to push in?"

"I-I don't know,"Emryn whimpers honestly, shaking her head feebly at Harry, "I don't know..."

"Honey, we have the stool over here if you'd like to sit on it?"one of the midwives offers, pointing towards the birthing stool. "Then you can have your dad behind you and he can help hold you up...?"

"Does that sound alright?"Harry whispers, bringing his hand up to soothingly comb his fingers through the hair by her hairline. "Is that alright?"

"Yeah,"Emryn whimpers out, nodding her head as everyone jumps into action. Before she knows what's happening, Harry and a midwife are helping her sit up from the raised back of the bed and carefully helping her stand from the bed as they guide her trembling body towards the birthing stool that's getting set up.

"Good job, Emmy, good job,"Harry murmurs as she takes little steps towards the stool, relying heavily on the midwife and Harry to keep her body up as she whimpers at each step, the baby engaging further in her birth canal as she walks.

"Alright, just sit right here my darling..."the midwife hums, helping Emryn down onto the stool as Harry goes behind her and kneels there, wrapping his arms around her as he searches for her tattooed hands that tremble in his palms.

"There we go, we're okay,"Harry soothes as Emryn rests her head back against the face of his shoulder, hiding her face in his neck because this is just too much. She's never felt so exposed and vulnerable and scared and she just needs Auggie. She just wants Auggie.

"I'm scared,"Emryn sobs, her body physically shaking in Harry's arms as he snuggles the front of his body tighter against her back, engulfing her as tightly as possible.

"I know, I know you are, but we're gonna be just fine, okay?"Harry comforts, his lips against her ear as he presses a gentle kiss there, listening to Emryn pant as her legs tremble beneath them, bent with her feet planted against the floor. "We've got this."

"I can't, I don't want to,"Emryn cries, shaking her head against Harry's neck, a bubbling sob erupting from her lips.

"Hey, if there's any one who can do this, you can,"Harry encourages, squeezing Emryn's trembling hands in his own as he looks towards the midwives who are looking at Emryn with more compassion in their eyes than Harry has ever seen.

"Honey, your baby is right there,"the midwife beams gently, sitting in front of Emryn's parted legs, looking at her lips that have the tiny head of a baby peeking through. A baby that should've been kept in for at least another 10 weeks. "We're only going to need a few pushes and you'll meet your baby, okay?"

"Okay,"Emryn whimpers with a wobbly voice, taking her face out of Harry's neck and looking at the midwife as she continues to squeeze both of Harry's hands, their interlocked hands resting on her heaving chest. "Are they okay?"

"Their heartbeat still looks wonderful on the monitor, my love,"the midwife beside Emryn encourages, squeezing her shoulder. "Let's just listen to what your body is telling you to do, alright?"

Emryn blearily nods as her face pinches up with the beginning of a contraction that makes the pressure always maintained in her hips shoot down to her vagina, "can I push?"

"Go ahead, my love, you work with it,"the midwife between Emryn's legs encourages, nodding as she watches Emryn bear down. "Oh perfect, love! Just perfect! That's an amazing push!"

"Good job, Emmy, good job,"Harry encourages, keeping his lips against her ear to encourage her as he helps her forward, curling around her nineteen week bump as little whimpers and groans escape her gritted teeth.

"That's a lot!"Emryn cries out, looking right at the midwife who has her hands right by Emryn's vagina to help the baby out as much as possible. "It hurts!"

"I know it does, my love, we're about to crown right here,"the midwife hums, "you're alright, we're just going to need some really deep and slow breaths and controlled pushes."

"You're okay, you're okay,"Harry whispers as she grinds her teeth against Harry's neck, squeezing his hands until they go completely white, a cry escaping her lips. "I've got you. You're safe."

"Emryn, honey, you have to listen to me, okay?"the midwife gently instructs, rubbing her palm against Emryn's shaking and bare knee, her legs bouncing up and down in pain. "We have to be very careful since you're not fully dilated, we really need to be careful to make sure we prevent tearing as much as possible."

"Can you hear the midwife?"Harry whispers, his lips brushing against Emryn's ear as she blearily nods against his neck, not really on this earth anymore as she blows a few tight breaths against Harry's skin. "You just listen to her, okay? That's all you need to do."

"Emryn, sweetheart, listen to me, during the rest of this contraction I just want you to do big even breaths okay? Just pant,"the midwife instructs, looking up at Harry as he nods, understanding that he needs to guide Emryn through it.

"Emmy, breathe with me, just listen to me,"Harry whispers, beginning to breathe evenly against Emryn's pierced ear, feeling her breathe heavily against his neck.

"Pshhh, pshhh, it burns!"Emryn cries out, rolling her head against Harry's neck and looking up towards the ceiling as she tries to cling onto the sound of Harry's breath in her ear as everything around her buzzes with noise and pain.

"You're okay, it's supposed to burn, it's okay,"Harry softly comforts, squeezing Emryn's hands and rubbing his thumbs against her knuckles.

"Beautiful breaths, you're getting your baby out with your breaths, sweetheart,"the midwife beams, rubbing Emryn's knee, "you're doing a beautiful job."

"Oh this is terrible,"Emryn moans, rolling her head from side to side on Harry's shoulder as the contraction begins to fizzle away, giving her a slight break as her legs continue to bounce uncontrollably.

"You're doing so good, Emmy,"Harry encourages as he presses a kiss to her sweaty cheek. "You're so amazing."

"Sweetheart, would you like to see your baby?"the second midwife asks, positioning a mirror between Emryn's legs to allow her to see what's going on.

"Emmy, look down, you can see your baby,"Harry urges on, keeping his eyes focused on Emryn's miserable and pinched up face but adverting his eyes from looking anywhere near the mirror to give Emryn some respect and privacy in this situation that he can only imagine is making her feel so vulnerable.

"My baby?"Emryn questions, lifting her head up off of Harry's shoulder and peering down at the mirror placed between her legs that has the tiniest bald head peeking through. It doesn't even look like a head because it's so small. "My baby! It's my baby. I have a baby..."

"That is your baby, sweetheart,"the nurse responds sweetly, squeezing her knee. "You're going to meet them in just a minute here."

Of course she considers all of her miscarried babies as her babies, but this is different. This baby she actually has to give birth to. This baby is going to be alive when it's born. She'll get to hold this baby, and that's all she wants to think about. She doesn't want to think about what comes in a few hours. Focusing on the positives is the only thing that's getting her through this pushing period.

"Did you see them?"Harry bubbles, pressing a kiss against Emryn's cheek as a little relieved smile appears on her face, her chest still heaving and her breaths still panted as she rests her head back against Harry's shoulder again. "Were they gorgeous?"

"I saw them,"Emryn tearfully responds, closing her eyes as her lips wobble and a few tears roll down her cheeks. "My baby."

"When you get that next contraction I want you to push as hard as you can, okay?"the midwife explains, rubbing Emryn's knee to keep her attention. "We'll get the head on the next one and then hopefully the body on the next so that we don't let this baby get too distressed, okay?"

"Just a few more pushes and then it's all over,"Harry promises, watching as a faint pinch begins in Emryn's brow, signaling the beginning of a contraction.

She curls inwards without anyone telling her to do so, just following her bodies cues as she groans loudly, the wide part of her baby's head stretching her to the limit of her eight centimeter dilated cervix.

"Gahhh, owwwww,"a groan breaks through her gritted teeth as she subconsciously brings hers and Harry's interlocked hands up towards her mouth, wanting to bite down on something.

"Good job, sweetie, good job, keep going,"Harry chants in her ear, curling around to try and transfer some of his strength onto her. "That's it, Emmy! There we go!"

"Ow! Ow! Ow!"Emryn whimpers, flinging her head back against Harry's shoulder tightly as she squeezes their interlocked hands. "Ow! Someone help!"

"You're okay, that's just your baby's head you're feeling,"the midwife explains, watching as the baby's tiny head continues to slowly slide out from in between Emryn's legs. "Perfect, darling, slow down a bit for me, slow slow, Emryn."

"Slow down, honey, slow down,"Harry echoes the midwife, feeling Emryn give up on the push a bit, "give yourself time, it's okay."

"Oh!"Emryn yelps, making Harry's heart leap a bit as she flinches slightly against his body.

"That's okay, that's okay, that's just a bit of fluid, everything's alright,"the midwife assures Emryn, swiping a towel in between her legs to clear some of the fluid away from her body. "We're just fine. Everything's going just right."

"Is their head out?"Emryn blearily asks, rolling her head side to side against Harry's shoulder in complete agony.

"Almost, my love, we just need one more push and then it will be,"the midwife encourages Emryn, nodding at her as she curls around again, a huge groan breaking free of her throat.

"GAHHH!"Emryn groans, her legs shaking uncontrollably as she feels the head continue to stretch her unprepared muscles. "I'm tearing! I'm tearing!"

"You're alright, my darling, keep listening to your body,"the midwife encourages, watching Emryn's red and angry muscles very intently and realizing that she is indeed tearing because of her lack of dilation, but they're too far past the point of being able to stop, so she just tried to help Emryn's muscles along as much as possible.

"Come on sweetheart,"Harry encourages, pressing another kiss to Emryn's sweaty temple as she hauls in a deep breath before pushing again, "I know that's a lot. You've got it though. You're so strong."

"Oh yes, Emryn! Keep with that one, that's the push!"the midwife bubbles as Emryn grunts tightly, pushing with all of her might as the baby begins to slide out easily.

"It hurts!"Emryn cries out, a sob bubbling at her lip as she continues to stretch, feeling her baby's head come through more and more as she pushes. "It hurts! Help!"

"You're almost there, honey, almost, just a little push, that's it, that's it, Emryn!"Harry cheers on, keeping his face tucked against hers to focus all of his attention on her while the midwives move feverishly in between Emryn's legs. "You've got 'em, you've got 'em!"

"OW!"Emryn shouts as the whole head pops out, and before the midwife can even announce that the head is out, the entire baby slips out with a faint push from Emryn's fetal ejection reflex. The tiny baby slips into the midwife's awaiting hands, but they're barely big enough to fit into the hands, only a few inches long with the tiniest little head and bone-thin arms and legs, their skin red colored and fresh from a lack of layers.

"Oh and they just slid out after that, hello darling!"the midwife bubbles as Emryn falls back against Harry, her chest heaving and her head resting back against his shoulder as she keeps a tight hold of his hands, not quite processing that the baby is out since it was so fast. "Born at 9:01 in the morning on March 10th!"

"Emryn, they're out,"Harry tearfully tells Emryn, stealing a glance at his grandchild that makes his heart burst out of his chest. They're so tiny and yet they're so beautiful. It's undeniable, they are absolutely gorgeous. "Sweetie, you did it, look down, look down, baby."

"My baby,"Emryn gasps, looking down at her sweet baby in the midwife's hands as the other midwife gently suctions their mouths, their chest moving up and down at rapid speed with their arms and legs twitching just slightly. "My baby...dad...baby."

"I know, I see your baby, you did so good,"Harry praises tearfully, watching as Emryn looks down at her baby in absolute awe with tears rolling down her sweaty cheeks, her lips wobbling.

"Do you want to see what you have, darling?"the midwife bubbles, removing her finger from covering the little baby's privates so that Emryn is able to see the gender.

"It's a boy!"Emryn announces through a loud sob, her lips wavering as she looks down at her absolutely precious baby boy. "It's a boy! Hello honey. Oh hello. Hi baby boy!"

"Let's get you all warm with your mumma,"the midwife murmurs as she holds the baby up towards Emryn, gently placing him against her chest as Emryn takes her hands away from Harry's, bringing them up to be placed on top of the two blankets that the midwives placed on the sweet little baby to keep him warm.

"My baby,"Emryn sobs, holding her tiny baby against her chest, getting a bit of blood and goo on herself but she's never cared less. "It's you...my baby...I have a baby..."

"Oh my sweet boy, look at you, hello,"Emryn whispers tearfully, sniffling as she keeps her body rested against Harry, her hands holding onto her tiny baby that's pressed right up against her skin. "Oh you look just like your daddy, hello sweetheart."

He's only 6 inches long and 7 ounces, but he's stunning, so much so that Harry and Emryn can't take their eyes off of him. He's quiet, not crying at all, but he is breathing and she's not sure she's ever felt anything better than his little chest rapidly rising and falling against hers.

"Hi buddy,"Emryn tearfully smiles, taking in every little aspect about her baby boy as she reaches up to drag her fingertip against his tiny fingers, feeling his chest rise and fall sharply against hers as he continues to try and breathe, "I'm your mummy. I love you so much. This is your papa, he's a pretty cool guy, huh?"

"Hi sweet boy,"Harry whispers with tears rolling down his face, his hands resting on Emryn's hips as he peers over her shoulder at his newest grandson that he has such little time with, "it's so nice to meet you."

"Your daddy is about to come and meet you,"Emryn whispers, feeling Harry's body tighten behind her as he clenches his jaw to prevent a sob from escaping it, turning his head away from Emryn and the baby as he clenches his eyes shut, his lips wavering at the mention of his son. His son's a dad. His son is going to find out he's a dad and be a bereaved father within the span of a few minutes. "He loves you so much too. Just hold on a little more for him, okay? He's going to be here really soon."

"How lucky are you, hmm?"Emryn sniffles, looking down at her little boy with more love in her eyes than she's ever looked at anything with. "You have so many people who love you."

"Look at you,"Emryn marvels, bringing her fingertip up to brush against the baby's tiny cheek and sniffling loudly. "You're so gorgeous. How did daddy and I make you, hmm? You're so perfect."

"He is so gorgeous, my darling, you did so good,"the midwife praises softly, squeezing Emryn's shoulder before moving away to give Emryn a few minutes alone with her baby who only has a few minutes of life left in him.

"Do you think he's hurting, dad?"Emryn tearfully asks, turning her head to look up at Harry who's cheeks are swollen and his eyes heavy, the toll the night has taken on him is evident in every one of his features

"No,"Harry quickly assures her, reaching up to place his hand on top of Emryn's that's holding onto the baby's little back as he leans in to press a kiss to her forehead. The most proud kiss he's ever given because he can't accurately explain how proud of her he is. He's never seen bravery quite like Emryn's displaying now.

And he wishes to everything that he never had to witness her be this brave.

."I promise he's not. He's so happy to be with his mumma,"Harry assures her, knowing that he's right as he looks down at the tiny baby on his daughter in law's chest that's still clinging to life. His grandson. His son's son. The baby they hoped for for years. "He's just glad he's with you, he's not hurting."

"I'm glad I'm with you too, sweetheart,"Emryn says through her raspy voice, leaning down to press the gentlest kiss against her little boy's forehead.

"Did you two have a name for him,"Harry asks, resting his head against Emryn's as they both continue to peer down at the baby boy while Emryn traces her fingertip against all of his features, focusing on his little fingers and hands that she just can't get enough of.

"Yeah,"Emryn sniffles, nodding her head as her throat clogs up, her voice catching there. "If it was a little boy we decided his name would be Kaden Edward, so dad, meet Kaden."

There are a few moments in Harry's life where he can genuinely say he's forgotten how to breathe. The first look at his babies after they were born, watching them cry against Camryn's chest. Boom, forgotten how to breathe. Watching Camryn walk down the aisle at their wedding. Boom, forgotten how to breathe. Walking into the bathroom and finding Camryn in a puddle of blood with their miscarried baby in her hands. Boom, forgot to breathe. Hearing that Hugh's name was Hugh Harry. Boom, forgotten how to breathe. Watching Darcy give birth to Penny right before his eyes. Boom, forgotten how to breathe.

And this?

He's not sure he'll ever remember how to breathe again.

Edward.

"Do you like it?"Emryn tearfully asks, looking up at Harry as she watches his face go completely pale and stoic, trying to process the information. "I think it fits him."

"Sweetheart..."Harry whispers because it's all he can get out before he leans in to press a kiss against her sweaty forehead before resting his forehead against hers, both of them crying silently, only interrupted by sniffles, in solemn acknowledgement.

They just get each other. They always have. And this moment? It bonds them together forever.

"I love you,"Emryn sniffles, feeling Harry press a kiss to her cheek before she looks back down at her baby boy, memorizing every little thing about him.

"Oh look at you breathing like a pro,"Emryn giggles tearfully, leaning down to press the gentlest kisses against the top of the baby's red and flushed head. "Mummy's so proud of you."

"Look at that little snuggle bug,"Harry whispers, resting his cheek against the top of Emryn's head and keeping her body upright so that she can focus on her little boy. "He's loving being with you, sweetheart."

"I love being with you too, Mr. Kaden,"Emryn coos, rubbing the tip of her finger over her baby's tiny arm, leading all the way to his little palm that's splayed out against her chest. "You're the most precious thing I've ever seen. Mumma loves you so much."

"Front desk just called,"the midwife whispers to one of the other midwifes, standing in the corner of the room, both of them quietly looking at Emryn and Harry who can't seem to take their eyes off of Kaden, Emryn's entire face lit up as if nothing is wrong. "August is here."

"I'll tell her,"one of the midwifes, the older of the two offers, walking slowly over to Emryn and squatting down in front of her. "Hi sweetheart, isn't he gorgeous? You did a perfect job with him. August is here, should we bring him in?"

"He's here?"Emryn gasps, her chin wobbling a bit as she turns her head from the midwife to look back at Harry who's looking at her with a teary grin. "He gets to meet Kaden,"

"He's here,"Harry sighs in relief, pressing his lips against Emryn's forehead again, "he's here, I'll go get him."

Emryn nods as Harry slips out from behind her, his legs a feeling a bit jelly like as he shakes them out from his squat that he's been in for the past half hour of Emryn pushing as he follows the midwife out of the door and into the hallway.

*

He doesn't know if he'll ever be able to look at his son in the same way after what he just witnessed. He just witnessed his daughter-in-law give birth to the most beautiful little 19 week baby who's currently still grasping to life in the room, but the end is near and inevitable. His son's son is going to die. He doesn't know how you ever look at a person the same after you've seen them go through that kind of pain. He really doesn't know.

There's no pain Harry can ever imagine like the pain of losing a child. He'd rather go through anything than have to lose one of his children, and now he has to watch his own son go through that.

He doesn't know how he'll ever get through this, let alone Auggie and Emryn.

He wants to puke, honestly, when he sees his son at the front desk of the maternity wing.

He's Auggie through and through which means that he's showing no emotion on his face. He's hiding. He's already hiding from everyone. The midwives that rushing by, the few doctors rushing in and out of the wing and the laboring mums walking the halls.

His arms are crossed over his chest protectively, almost like he's folding in on himself as Harry approaches him cautiously.

"Hey,"Harry whispers gruffly, tears already coating his throat from everything he just witnessed. His cheeks are splotchy and his eyes are swollen, telling the story of all of the beauty and horror he's witnessed in the past few hours. There are no words to describe the whiplash of emotions he's felt.

Auggie doesn't say anything, instead he looks up at his dad and immediately breaks down into tears, grasping onto Harry tightly as he hides his face in Harry's neck.

Always hiding.

He doesn't know what to say. Sorry feels...wrong in some way? His son's little baby is going to die, but he's not dead yet, so it feels wrong to give condolences. Condolences feel wrong for the living.

"I've got you,"Harry whispers, hugging his little boy, who's really not little at all anymore, as tightly as he can as he sobs into his neck, collapsing into Harry's arms. "I've got you, bud. I've got you."

"Do you want to meet your baby?"Harry asks quietly, clearing his throat a bit to get rid of the phlegm coating it. "They're beautiful, mate. Absolutely gorgeous."

Auggie chokes on a sob and nods his head against Harry's neck. He couldn't decide on the plane ride back if he'd rather meet his dead child or meet his living baby and watch them die. He doesn't know which is worse, but apparently the decision was made for him.

His baby is alive, and he's going to meet them.

"I-I-I-Is i-i-it a-a-a b-b-b-boy o-o-o-or g-g-girl?"Auggie asks through sniffles as he pulls away from Harry and wipes at his red eyes.

"I think Emmy wants to tell you that,"Harry grins shakily, reaching out and squeezing Auggie's shoulder.

Auggie nods and chokes on another sob, his shoulders trembling as he falls into Harry's chest again. "I-I-I n-n-need t-to c-c-c-calm d-d-down b-b-b-before I s-s-s-see E-E-Emmy."

"No you don't mate,"Harry shakes his head, his cheek against the top of Auggie's head as he holds him tightly. "She needs to see your emotions, bud. They'll validate hers. Don't hide from her too."

Auggie nods, sniffling few more times before breaking away from Harry and taking a deep breath as he looks down the hall. Emryn and his baby are in one of those rooms, and he wants to see them. He wants to see them so bad, but for some reason his feet won't bring him there. He doesn't want to see Emryn like that. He'd thought he'd seen her through the worst of the worst, but he was wrong. It just got a lot worse.

Harry keeps an arm around Auggie's shoulder as they venture down the hall, stopping in front of room 23.

He always imagined the first time he'd be in the maternity wing, he'd be listening to the sound of his baby crying, a sound you'd be able to hear through the door. But here he is, standing outside of the door, and it's silent.

There's no baby crying. There's no tiny snuffles and whimpers. It's silent.

Now he's not one for noise, no, he's always preferred the quiet. The quiet makes him less anxious, but what he wouldn't give to hear noise in this moment coming from inside the door. To hear a cry.

"You've got it,"Harry whispers, squeezing Auggie's shoulder as he watches his son fiddle in his mind with the idea of opening the door. He's trying to gain the courage and Harry can't imagine what he's going through.

Auggie nods and takes a deep breath, squeezing the door handle in his hand before wiping away a few more tears and pushing open the door.

His heart stills as he takes in the room that he's just stepped into. It's like another dimension. A dimension he never really wanted to be apart of. This was all supposed to be so different. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. It shouldn't have happened like this.

He finds Emryn in the middle of the room, just in front of the hospital bed sitting on a birthing stool with her knees splayed out wide, nothing covering her and just a sports bra on top. Her umbilical cord is still inside of her, leading up to the little blanket covering her chest. The little blanket that's covering their baby.

Oh. He has a baby.

He catches sight of Emryn before she realizes that he's in the room, watching as she murmurs quietly to the little baby attached to her chest that he's yet to see since the blanket is covering them completely. He watches as she smiles and nods her head, dropping her jaw dramatically in a way that makes him know that she's playfully cooing at the baby.

He doesn't know if he's ever seen her happier, which makes him so happy. He was hoping he'd get to see a bit of light in her and that she'd be able to enjoy these few moments while their baby is alive without constantly thinking about the inevitable, and it seems like she is.

So, he decides in that moment that he will as well. He can pretend for a few minutes that everything's alright. They've gotten very good at doing that for the past four years, and it seems like they now have been given the opportunity to get even better at it.

"H-H-Hi h-h-honey,"Auggie whispers, looking over at Emryn in a way he's never seen her before. Her hair is dissolved and a bit damp from sweat, a few purple pieces sticking to her forehead, most of her hair having fallen out of the ponytail that Harry tied her hair into when transition started. Her cheeks are splotchy and her eyes are red rimmed and her face is a bit pale with exhaustion, but she looks beautiful because she's Emryn. There's nothing on earth that could make her not look beautiful.

"Hi,"Emryn tearfully rasps, looking up at Auggie with a shining smile as she continues to hold her arms protectively tight over the little bundled attached to her chest. "C'mere. Do you want to meet your baby?"

"Y-Y-Yeah,"Auggie sniffles, wobbling over to her on weak legs as he tries to keep everything together. He takes the position where Harry was while Emryn was pushing, kneeling behind Emryn and wrapping his arms around her as he nuzzles his cheek against hers.

"We have a baby boy,"Emryn whispers shakily, looking up at Auggie as he peers down at the impossibly tiny baby places against her chest. He's so tiny that his whole body fits on Emryn's chest as she keeps a gentle hand on his back, needing him to feel warm. "Look at him."

"A-A-A b-b-boy?"Auggie chokes out, his emotions catching in his throat as he continues to massage his fingers against Emryn's scalp, unable to take his eyes off of his tiny baby on his wife's chest.

"Yeah,"Emryn confirms, resting her head back on the hospital pillow and watching as tears roll down Auggie's cheeks as he peers down at his little baby. "We've got a baby boy."

"Oh m-my g-g-gosh,"Auggie whispers in awe, looking at the baby—his baby—against Emryn's chest. He's a dad. He can't quite grasp the fact, but the thing that he can't grasp even more is that Emryn's a mum. His love his a mum, and he's never seen her glow more.

He's unbelievably tiny and looks like he'll break at any touch. His skin is red and fleshy and his head looks a bit too big for the rest of his body. His little lips are sealed shut and one of his little hands is resting against Emryn's chest, trying to be as close to his mumma as possible.

He's beautiful. That's the only thought that can pass through Auggie's mind over and over again. He's beautiful, he's beautiful, he's beautiful.

"H-H-He's s-s-s-so b-b-beautiful,"Auggie whispers, finally putting his thoughts into words as he watches Emryn drag a gentle finger across the baby's head.

"Isn't he? Look at how cute his little lips are,"Emryn sniffles, using her finger to pull down the blanket a bit to fully reveal Kaden's tiny face. "You're a daddy, sweetheart."

"W-Wow,"Auggie chuckles tearfully, pressing a kiss to Emryn's cheek before looking back down at little Kaden. "I c-c-can't b-believe h-he's who was in y-your b-belly the w-w-whole t-time."

"I know,"Emryn agrees, nodding her head as she leans down to press another kiss against the top of Kaden's head. "Little Kaden was in my belly this whole time." She looks over at Auggie as they share a tearful smile, both of their lips wobbling. "You can hold his little hand."

Auggie sniffles and nods, holding his pointer finger out towards little Kaden's hand that's smaller than the pad of his finger, holding it delicately. "He's d-d-doing s-so g-g-good."

"I know, he's being so strong,"Emryn proudly beams at her little baby, feeling his chest rapidly rising and falling against her chest, "he was so strong throughout my whole labor. His heart rate was so good."

"You d-d-did so g-good, honey,"Auggie praises, kissing Emryn's temple, "d-dad said you w-were a-amazing."

"Thank you,"Emryn whispers, turning her head so that her and Auggie's lips can interlock for the first time since he walked in, "it was so hard, but it was so worth it."

"L-L-Look at him b-breathing l-like a champ,"Auggie proudly smiles, watching his baby boy's chest move up and down far faster than it's supposed to, almost as if he's gasping for breath.

"I know, he's the strongest little man ever,"Emryn coos, tipping her lips down to rest against Kaden's forehand. "Do you want to hold him? He's breathing, it's the best thing you'll ever feel."

"I w-w-want you t-to h-hold h-him,"Auggie responds, squeezing Emryn lovingly. "I want h-him t-t-to be with y-you."

"I want him to get to know you too, though,"Emryn replies, smiling softly at Auggie. "He recognizes your voice, he's started to squirm more when he heard you."

"I-I-I d-d-d-don't w-w-want t-t-to h-h-hurt h-h-him,"Auggie frets, stiffening as he looks at his little baby who's no bigger than the palm of his hand.

He's held more babies than he can count, more babies than most people have probably, but this is different. This is his baby. And he's so tiny. He can't even imagine how light he'll feel, and he's honestly terrified. The thought of hurting him by holding him wrong makes him feel like he's going to puke.

"You won't,"Emryn promises with a reassuring grin, one that she's given Auggie so many times before as she constantly tries to push him outside of his comfort zone. She nods encouragingly at him, both of them looking at each other with teary eyes. "I promise. Take off your shirt so you can do skin to skin. We just gotta be careful because he's still attached to my placenta, so you just gotta stay really close to me."

Auggie obeys and pulls off his shirt, unbuttoning it as Emryn begins to try and reposition Kaden as carefully as possible, looking over at Auggie as he shrugs his shirt off. She carefully passes Kaden off to Auggie, pressing the tiny baby against Auggie's upper chest as he gasps quietly, putting his hands on top of Kaden's back to keep him secured.

"Oh m-my g-g-gosh,"Auggie sniffles in awe, looking down at the little baby attached to his chest. His baby. After four years, he's finally gotten to hold one of his babies. "H-Hi mate. I'm s-s-so g-glad I got to m-m-meet you."

"H-H-H-Hi b-b-b-buddy,"Auggie sniffles, rubbing his fingertip against his little baby's forehead, his body stiff as he tries not too move as much as possible because he doesn't want to accidentally do anything to his little boy. "H-H-Hi. Y-Y-You're s-s-so b-b-beautiful."

"Oh is that daddy,"Emryn tearfully coos, smiling and resting her head back against Auggie's shoulder as she watches her love become a dad right before her eyes. "Do you recognize daddy's voice?"

"He's s-s-so tiny,"Auggie marvels, leaning down to press the gentlest kiss against the top of Kaden's head.

"I know, he's so light isn't he,"Emryn grins, resting her hand on top of Auggie's that's placed on Kaden's back. "Look at what we made, baby."

"W-We d-d-did so good,"Auggie whispers, leaning his head against the top of Emryn's head as she rests her head on his shoulder, his hand pressing against Kaden's little back. "You d-d-did s-s-so g-g-good."

"Thanks, baby,"Emryn murmurs, pressing a kiss to Auggie's neck as they continue to stare at their little baby.

"Hi my love,"one of Emryn's midwife greets, walking towards Emryn and kneeling down in between Emryn's splayed out legs. "Do you mind if I just check how everything's coming along real quick with your placenta?"

"Yeah, go ahead,"Emryn agrees, keeping her cheek pressed against Auggie's shoulder as her face crumples up slightly in distaste, "Oh!"

"I know it, I'm sorry darling,"the midwife frowns sympathetically, feeling around in between Emryn's legs to check on her placenta. "I know that's not comfortable at all."

"Y-You o-okay?"Auggie checks, looking over at Emryn with a sympathetic expression as he presses a kiss down to the top of her head.

"Yeah,"Emryn tightly responds with a pinched up expression as the midwife continues to push against Emryn's lower stomach gently with her fingers between her legs. "Just focus on Kaden."

"I hate to do this darling, but your placenta is right there and wanting to come out,"the midwife explains, placing her hand on Emryn's knee as Emryn and Auggie both look at her with intent listening ears. The midwives have all tried to give the couple as much space as possible to allow them to spend the few minutes that they have with their little boy interrupted, but this is unescapable. Her placenta needs to come. "Do you mind giving us a few pushes to help it along?"

"Yeah,"Emryn agrees, hauling in a deep breath before she tucks her chin to her chest, her face scrunching up as she gives a little push.

"Perfect, just like that, love,"the midwife encourages, carefully trying to guide the placenta out. "You're doing perfect."

"Hoah, that's a contraction, sh*t,"Emryn whimpers, dropping her head to Auggie's shoulder and reaching her hand towards Auggie's thigh, squeezing it tightly. "Ouch!"

"Yeah, that placenta is wanting to come, you're okay,"the midwife soothes, rubbing her hand against Emryn's knee.

"Y-You're okay,"Auggie promises, wanting nothing more than to hold onto Emryn and help her, but he's currently holding onto Kaden so he can't do that. "I'm r-r-right here, y-y-you're o-okay."

"Oh, it's not comin',"Emryn cries, holding onto her slightly deflated stomach as her knees begin to shake, getting a bit fed up about the fact that she's currently in so much pain and having to exert so much when she just wants to be enjoying the few minutes she has with her baby. "It's not, it needs more time."

"We've gotta get it out, I'm sorry honey, we don't want you to get an infection,"the midwife explains, looking up at Emryn with so much sympathy in his eyes. "What about we give your little baby back to you to get some natural oxytocin. Skin to skin will help your placenta come out."

Emryn whimpers with a nod, picking her head up off of Auggie's shoulder as she reaches her arms out towards Kaden who Auggie immediately carefully places on Emryn's chest, pulling the blanket tight around them.

"T-There w-w-we g-g-go,"Auggie whispers, wrapping one arm around Emryn's shoulders and holding onto her other hand so that she can squeeze it, her other hand holding Kaden to her chest. "N-Now we can p-push." He presses the most loving kiss to Emryn's temple as she pants through breaths. "Y-You've got it b-baby."

"Give us a good push, sweetheart,"the midwife coaches, watching as Emryn hauls in a breath and pushes right down between her legs. "Gorgeous! That's just it! Your body just needed you to hold your baby, now we're getting it out."

"G-G-Good j-job, baby. T-T-That's it, g-g-good p-push,"Auggie whispers in encouragement, rubbing his thumb against Emryn's knuckles.

"Ow, ow, ow,"Emryn whimpers, flinging her head back against Auggie's shoulder as she feels something leave her body and fall into the midwife's hands.

"And there we are, perfect job,"the midwife praises, looking at the placenta in the basin and inspecting it. "And it's perfectly in tact, just like we like to see. Daddy, would you like to cut the cord?"

"Y-Yeah,"Auggie whispers, his voice hitching in his throat in awe as the midwife hands him the scissors. He's been waiting for this moment for years.

"Alright, it might be a bit gummy, so you might need to chomp down on it a bit,"the midwife instructs, pointing towards the cord where Auggie's supposed to cut. She watches as Auggie focuses on the cord, cutting at it a few times before it finally goes through, a big smile on his face as he looks up at Emryn who's grinning at him as well, a whole new round of sweat covering her body from pushing out the placenta.

"Did daddy cut your cord,"Emryn whispers, pressing a kiss down to the top of Kaden's head as the midwife walks to the corner of the room to give them a bit of time with Kaden, but she knows now that the placenta is out and he's detached from it, the end is near.

"M-Mummy and I l-love you, b-buddy,"Auggie says quietly, his voice wavering with tears as he presses his hand against Emryn's on top of Kaden's back. "W-W-We l-love you s-s-so m-much, K-Kaden."

"He's starting to wheeze,"Emryn chokes out, looking at Auggie with worried eyes as her lips begin to waver. This makes it real. Before this Kaden seemed like he was doing so good, and she knows it's crazy, but she thought for a moment that maybe he'd be the medical miracle that they write stories about. Maybe he'd survive and doctors would look at him in wonder.

He's not the medical miracle, but he is their miracle.

"H-H-He's s-s-staring to wheeze,"Auggie calls out, looking at the midwife with begging eyes as she comes closer to the little family, kneeling down beside them. "C-Can we do a-a-anything? Anything to h-help him?"

"There's nothing we can do, I'm so sorry,"the midwife whispers sincerely, tears forming in her eyes as she watches Emryn and Auggie begin to cry, looking at their little boy who's slipping right between their fingers. "You just hold him tight and tell him how much you love him."

"Daddy and I are right here, honey,"Emryn whispers with a little sob, bringing her lips down to Kaden's forehead and hugging him even closer to her chest if possible as he continues to wheeze through his final few breaths. "You're okay. We love you."

"We l-l-love you s-s-so much, buddy,"Auggie murmurs, holding Emryn in his arms as he rests his hand gently against the side of Kaden's head.

"You can let go if you need to, baby,"Emryn chokes out, a sob bubbling from her lip as Auggie rests his temple against Emryn's, "daddy and I are so proud of you. Thank you for letting daddy and I meet you. You're everything we ever wanted."

Auggie can't feel Kaden's breath since it was so faint, and his eyes are clenched shut with overwhelming tears so he can't see it either, which means that he's relying completely on Emryn's reactions.

And the sob that chokes out of her throat is all he needs to hear to let him know what just happened. It's a sound he'll never forget for his entire life, he knows it.

She buries her face into his neck as she sobs desperately, harder than she ever has before, continuing to hold Kaden's now lifeless body against her chest as Auggie wraps his arms tighter around her, their sobs intermingling with each other as the midwife stays a few feet a way, her head bowed with silent tears rolling down her cheeks.

"My baby,"Emryn yells, her voice cracking in desperation that carries through the hall and makes Harry, who's standing outside of the hospital room to allow Auggie and Emryn their time alone, fall to his knees sobbing with his phone pressed against his ear, talking to Camryn.

"He's gone,"Harry sobs, hearing Camryn break into tears on the other side of the phone, sitting in an airport with Bindi. "He's gone."

***

"Hey, D,"Lennon answers the phone innocently, sitting at the kitchen table with a heavily pregnant Nora next to him who's due any day now, both of them enjoying a little fruit salad now that they've dropped Hugh off at school.

"Hey, um, are you alone?"Darcy asks, tears coating her voice as she sniffles, pacing around in her bedroom with her hand against her baby bump while Josh stays downstairs with the girls since Darcy has been given the dreaded task of telling all of the siblings what's been happening all night. Harry didn't want Auggie to have to be the one to make all of the phone calls, and he himself has been really busy at the hospital trying to help Auggie and Emryn, so he passed the job off to poor Darcy who's taken over a half hour to collect herself enough to gain the courage to call all of her siblings and inform them of what just happened.

"No, but I can be,"Lennon responds with a pinched brow, shrugging his shoulders at Nora with a confused gaze as she reaches out to squeeze his forearm to silently ask if everything's okay. "D, are you okay?"

"Len, just, just are you at work?"Darcy cries, wiping at her eyes angrily as she picks up the speed at which she's pacing.

"No, I'm not, D tell me what's going on,"Lennon begs, his heart starting to pick up in speed as he realizes that something's wrong. Something's very wrong. "D, c'mon."

He jumps out of his chair and shoots a glance at Nora that seems to say it's alright, I'll be back. He walks out of the kitchen and into the hall, beginning to pace as well.

"Emryn—Emryn's water broke last night,"Darcy tearfully explains, physically knocking the wind out of Lennon as he stops pacing, his stomach plummeting to the floor. "She delivered the baby this morning, and it was born alive but...but it passed away a few minutes ago, Len."

"Darcy no,"Lennon chokes on a sob, shaking his head as his shoulders begin to tremble, "Darce...what?"

"We don't know why, her water just broke,"Darcy explains through a sob as she tries to heave in a few breaths, sitting down on the edge of her and Josh's bed before she hyperventilates. "And the baby's gone now...dad just called to tell me."

"F*cking sh*t,"Lennon curses, wanting to throw his phone down against the floor in utter despair. He's always tried to protect his little brother, but he can't protect him from this.

"I gotta...I gotta tell the rest of the siblings,"Darcy sniffles, hearing Lennon's sobs through the phone which only makes her cry more. "I love you, bubba."

"I love you too,"Lennon chokes out, digging the heels of his palms into his eyes as he drops his flow on the floor before slapping his hand against the wall. "D*MMIT!"

"Hey, honey, hey,"Nora cautions, rushing through the kitchen as fast as she can considering her gigantic twin bump. She wanted to follow Lennon and listen in on the phone call, but she knew that that wouldn't be right and she needed to give him some privacy, but she can't ignore this. She needs to know what's wrong. "Baby?"

Lennon turns around from slapping his hand against the wall again and looks at Nora with the most broken eyes, immediately rushing over to her and wrapping his arms around her as she takes on a bit of his weight, wrapping her arms around his middle.

"Oh hey, okay, I've got you,"Nora soothes, rubbing her hand up and down Lennon's back and pressing a few kisses to his curls as he buries his face into her neck, gripping onto her as he feels her stomach brush against his. "Honey, I need you to tell me what's wrong, come on, you're worrying me, sweetheart."

"Emryn had the baby,"Lennon chokes out with a sob, burying his face into Nora's neck as Nora's heart sinks to her stomach. "It's dead. The baby just died."

***

"Oh my gosh, D,"Bowie chokes out, bending his hips as he rests his forehead down on his forearm that's placed on the counter.

"I know,"Darcy sniffles, laying back against her bed with her palm over her eyes as tears roll down his cheeks. "I can tell Mo if you want—"

"No, I should,"Bowie sniffles, straightening up and trying to take in a deep breath, but he can't. His throat is too tight to allow him to. He wipes a palm down his face and rolls his head on the ball of his neck, blinking tearfully up at the ceiling. "I'll tell her, she's in the shower."

"Okay,"Darcy chokes out, swallowing back her tears as she pinches her eyes shut. "I still need to call Cal and tell him."

"Okay, I love you,"Bowie whispers shakily, digging the heel of his palm into his eye as he listens to his big sister say she loves him as well before hanging up the phone.

"Daddy, look at Peppa,"Harley giggles, sitting on the couch next to Jordan as she points at the television in front of them, Jordan's little cheek pressed against Harley's shoulder as she sucks on her thumb, their little legs interlocked around each other's.

"Yeah, you're watching Peppa,"Bowie sniffles, wiping at his eyes as he quickly looks away from the girls to try and prevent them from seeing the tears rolling down his splotchy cheeks as he rushes through the living room to bolt towards his and Morgan's room where she's showering.

"Mo, peanut,"Bowie calls, walking into the room and finding the bathroom door slightly creaked open, the light filtering in.

"Bathroom,"Morgan calls, one of her feet planted against the toilet seat as she rubs lotion onto her freshly shaven leg, a towel fastened around her body.

"Hey, what's up?"Morgan innocently asks, looking up at Bowie with an innocent smile that slowly falls off of her face as she looks at the expression written across Bowie's face. "Honey, what's wrong?"

"I—I need to talk to you, c'mere,"Bowie sniffles, a few tears rolling down his cheeks as he holds out both of his hands for Morgan's. She places her hands in Bowie's and warily allows him to guide her out of the bathroom and into their connected bedroom, sitting her down on the bed as he sits right next to her, their hands still interlocked.

"Baby, you're scaring me, what's wrong?"Morgan whispers, reaching up to cup Bowie's damp cheek with her freshly lotioned hand, looking at him with the most concerned brown eyes, trying to nudge his face closer to his. "What happened? Is someone hurt?"

"Emmy, she had the baby,"Bowie tearfully explains, watching as the air is sucked out of Morgan, almost as if he can see it sucked out of her, her whole body going still and stiff. "She had the baby and it was born alive, a little boy, but he passed away a few minutes ago."

"No..."Morgan whispers, choking on a sob as she falls into Bowie's arms, sobbing into his chest as he wraps his arms tightly around her body, pressing his chin against the top of her head as he squeezes his eyes shut, his lips wobbling. "Emmy..."

"I know, I've got you,"Bowie whispers, rubbing his hand up and down Morgan's trembling back as she continues to sob, clutching onto her chest.

"The baby...her baby..."Morgan bawls, her chest heaving as she thinks of her best friend. Her best friend is going through the most unimaginable pain in life. Her best friend is going through a pain that no parent should have to go through.

She had to watch her baby take his last breath.

It's a feeling only a parent can understand, a sadness that is just for them. The thought of having to watch one of her little girls, heaven forbid, take their last breath would be too much. She knows it would be. That would be her last breath as well. She couldn't live without either of them.

And Emmy...her best friend...her platonic soulmate...she now has to live without her baby boy. Her little miracle. Her pride and joy for the past nineteen weeks.

"Mumma?"Harley's little high pitched voice asks, holding onto Jordan's tiny palm as they both look at their parents with curious brown eyes.

"Oh hey girls, hey, it's okay,"Bowie quickly soothes, taking one of his arms from around Morgan and holding it out for his little girls as Morgan continues to cry against his chest.

"Mumma?"Harley asks again, looking at her mum who she's never really seen in this much despair, at least not that she can remember.

"Mummy's okay, she's just having a sad day,"Bowie delicately explains, reaching out to cup Jordan's little chubby cheek, her oxygen cannula stuck in her nostrils. "Can you give mummy some snuggles?"

Harley nods and climbs up onto the mattress, holding her arms out for Morgan as Bowie lets go of her to allow Morgan the space to hug her little girl. "I love you, mummy."

"I love you,"Morgan sobs, squeezing Harley a little too tight, almost uncomfortably so as she buries her face against Harley's shoulder, unsure of how she'll ever break away from this hug with her little girl. Knowing what she knows now, there's no way she could ever break free.

"C'mere, can I have Jojo snuggles?"Bowie requests with a tiny grin, his cheeks still coated in tears as he holds his hands out for his littlest girl who has her little oxygen tank strapped to her back with her backpack on.

He picks Jordan up from under her arms and presses a kiss to her cheek, right over the little stickie pressed there for her oxygen cannula. "I love you. I love you so much."

"Will you sleep with daddy and I tonight?"Morgan asks tearfully, pulling away from Harley slightly as she reaches up to comb a black strand of Harley's hair behind her ear. "We can have a big sleepover with you and Jojo? I need some good snuggles tonight."

"Yeah,"Harley grins happily and innocently, nodding her head rapidly as she continues to hug her arms around Morgan's neck. "That's fun!"

"Yeah, that will be good,"Morgan whispers with a teary nod, pressing her face against the side of Harley's face, kissing her cheek delicately. "That will help mumma a lot."

***

His heart is beating out of his chest as he rushes up the apartment stairs and through their little balcony, his hands trembling as his useless fingers try to find the correct key on his keychain, fumbling with the lock as he pushes the door open. "Sweetheart?"

The Calum that walks into the room at the sound of his call is a Calum he's never seen before and a Calum that he hopes to never have to see again. The look on his face is haunting.

"Honey..."Flynn whispers as Calum's lips begins to blubber, his shoulders shaking as he dips his chin towards his chest. Flynn rushes towards him, throwing his arms around him and rocking their bodies side to side as Calum grips onto him and wets his chest with tears.

He called Flynn right after Darcy called him, barely able to get the words out as he sobbed, and of course right after Flynn finally figured out what Calum was trying to choke out through tears, he immediately went to his manager and told him that he needed to go home for a family emergency.

"I've got you, bubba, I've got you,"Flynn whispers, dropping his lips to the top of Calum's blonde curls and squeezing him tightly as a few tears leak out of his eyes. "I'm so sorry this is happening, sweetheart. I'm so sorry."

"It was supposed to be the one,"Calum sobs, heaving in shaky breaths as his lips sputter.

"I know, honey, I know it was,"Flynn frowns, resting his cheek on top of Calum's head as he continues to squeeze him tightly, feeling Calum's fingers grip the back of his shirt in fists. "I've got you. It's gonna be okay. It will be."

***

11:58 (almost 3 hours since Kaden passed)

Her sobs are landing against his neck as they sit back against the raised head of the bed, right next to each other in a bed that's only meant for one, but they're good at snuggling so they make do.

His arm is around her trembling shoulders as she holds their deceased son in her hands, a little blanket wrapped around his body that is peacefully sleeping forever as they peer down at him, trying to memorize everything about him before they have to give him up to be placed in a tiny casket that will be buried in their backyard next to their garden.

No words are passed between them as Auggie rests his face against the top of Emryn's head, pressing gentle kisses there whenever her sobs increase in pitch to frequency, her hands that little Kaden is placed in, only as big as one of her palms, trembling so viciously that Auggie's afraid she'll drop him.

But it wouldn't matter. That's something he doesn't know if he'll ever get used to.

He doesn't know how to do this. There's not exactly a how to book on how to comfort your wife who just lost your child. How do you tell a bereaved mum that everything will be okay?He doesn't even know how he's going to get through this, let alone help Emryn get through this.

He wants to take that tiny baby in Emryn's hands home and just keep him forever, just so he could look at him, but the logical side of his brain knows that can't happen.

It's hard to comprehend when he looks down at the baby that it's his son. That's who was in Emryn's stomach. That's who he stayed up late talking to. That's who was hitting his tiny foot against his palm during their late night chats. That's him, and now looking at him it all makes sense. He makes sense.

Emryn and him always wondered about what their ten miscarried babies would look like. It was a little game they played to make themselves feel better because it made the babies seem real to them. Because they were so real. But he doesn't have to wonder with Kaden, he sees it all in his tiny body that's resting in Emryn's palms.

He sees his eyes that are a bit almond shaped like Emryn's. They never opened, but he just has a feeling they would've been brown like Emmy's. He hadn't formed hair yet, but Auggie can tell just by looking at him that he would've been a blonde. And his nose? Don't ever get him started on his nose. That's a Styles nose.

He reaches his finger over to gently pull down Kaden's blanket wrapped around him that was slightly covering his lower lip so that he can see his whole face. His beautiful face that he always wants to look at for the rest of time. He'd be okay if that's all he did for the rest of his days, just looked at a picture of his baby boy's face with Emryn.

"H-He h-h-has y-you're e-e-eyes, b-b-baby,"Auggie shakily whispers, tears still rolling down his cheeks with his lips in Emryn's hair as he presses a kiss there.

Emryn lets another sob escape her throat as she turns her head away from Auggie's neck to look at her tiny baby in her hands. "Uh huh."

"A-And l-l-look a-a-at h-h-his n-nose,"Auggie sadly grins, resting his cheek on top of Emryn's head that's hovering by his shoulder as they both stare at their little boy. Their baby. They have a baby.

"It's your nose,"Emryn whispers, sniffling loudly as she reaches one of her fingers to push back the tiny specially made knitted beanie one of the midwives made for Kaden while Emryn was in labor that's so small it could double as a beanie for Auggie's thumb.

"H-H-He's t-t-the p-perfect m-mix o-o-of u-u-us,"Auggie grins, reaching his hand over to the little bundle and pulling out Kaden's delicate hand that's no bigger than the pad of Auggie's finger as he keeps it there, feeling his little boy's hand against his finger.

"I don't want them to take him,"Emryn whimpers, feeling her lips begin to wobble with even more tears as she shoves her face into Auggie's neck again, sobbing loudly.

"H-Hey, s-s-sweetheart,"Auggie chokes out with a little frown, pressing kisses to the top of Emryn's head as a few of his tears fall into her hair. "H-H-Honey, t-t-they s-s-said w-w-we can h-have h-him a-a-all day a-and a-a-all n-night."

"I want him forever, though,"Emryn chokes out before she goes back to blubbering against Auggie's neck. "I didn't keep him safe..."

"H-Hey, a-a-absolutely n-n-not,"Auggie cuts Emryn off, gently getting stern with her because he will not let this happen. She's not going to blame herself for this, he can't let her do that. She's blamed herself for every miscarriage and it's destroyed her. If she blamed herself for this one? He'd lose her. He knows he would.

"L-L-Look a-a-at m-me, E-Emryn,"Auggie whispers, cupping her chin in his hand as her tears leak onto his skin, her watery and swollen eyes finding his. "Y-You c-c-can s-s-say w-w-whatever y-you want, but I-I'm n-n-n-not g-going t-t-to l-l-let y-y-you b-blame y-y-yourself f-f-for t-this."

"I couldn't keep him safe, though,"Emryn whimpers, her lips wobbling as Auggie continues to cup her chin, "I had one job."

"This w-w-wasn't b-b-because of y-y-you E-Emryn,"Auggie promises, sniffling as a few tears roll down his cheeks, looking at Emryn with the most loving eyes. "It's n-n-not b-b-baby. A-And I k-k-k-know it's s-s-sh*tty b-b-b-because w-we want to k-k-know why t-t-this happened s-so we can b-b-blame something, b-b-but sometimes s-s-sh*tty things h-h-happen, and I'm n-n-not going to l-l-let you t-t-take the b-b-blame for t-t-the sh*tty t-t-things."

"I just want Kaden,"Emryn blubbers, her lips crumpling up as she bows her head, her forehead pressing against Auggie's shoulder as her entire body trembles, feeling the weight of her baby in her hands. Her lifeless baby.

"I k-k-know,"Auggie sniffles, squeezing his arm tighter around Emryn's shoulder as his fingers scrunch through her hair. "I d-d-do t-t-too."

"He didn't deserve this,"Emryn sobs, shaking her head against Auggie's shoulder. Her baby, her sweet innocent seven ounce baby, did not deserve any of this.

"And y-y-you d-d-didn't e-e-either,"Auggie whispers, cupping Emryn's cheek in his hand as he brushes his thumb against her damp skin.

"W-W-Why don't w-w-we put h-h-him against y-y-your c-c-chest,"Auggie suggests, reaching for Emryn's chin to tip it up towards him and look at her in the eyes. He knows his girl. He knows her better than himself, and he knows that the only thing that will calm her down, really calm her down, is to feel Kaden again. She was so peaceful when he was against her chest, "take o-o-off your b-b-bra, I'll h-hold him w-w-while you g-get situated."

Emryn slowly nods and warily holds Kaden's tiny boy out towards Auggie who takes him in his palm, looking down at his little boy with so much love in his eyes as Emryn slowly takes off her bra to reveal her bare chest. He un-swaddles Kaden's little body from the blanket and carefully positions Kaden against her chest, except this time, unlike the first time he was placed against her chest, he's not breathing.

"H-H-How's that?"Auggie asks, grinning tearfully at little Kaden whose cold cheek is pressed against Emryn's chest, his little body curled up against Emryn's bare chest.

"It feels good,"Emryn sighs, nodding her head with a big sniffle as she leans her head back against the bed, feeling Auggie tighten his arm around Emryn's shoulder.

"My little buddy,"Emryn whispers, tipping her chin down to press the gentlest kiss against the top of Kaden's head, one hand cupped against Kaden's head and the other cupping his little bum, a blanket splayed across him.

"Y-You're s-s-such a g-g-good m-mumma,"Auggie whispers, pressing a kiss to Emryn's temple as he reaches over to put his hand over Emryn's that's pressed against Kaden's tiny back.

"I'm glad we got to meet him,"Emryn sniffles, pressing her lips against the top of Kaden's head. "And got to hold him. He's ours."

"H-H-He is o-ours,"Auggie hums, resting his temple against Emryn's as they look down at their tiny baby.

"I just wanted him to be okay,"Emryn sobs, resting her nose on top of Kaden's head to sniff in his wonderful baby scent that's slowly getting fainter and fainter. "I tried so hard to do everything right so that he'd be okay."

"You d-d-did everything p-perfectly, b-b-baby,"Auggie whispers, his heart literally shattering as he realizes how much Emryn's going to blame herself. She's going to blame herself for everything and he knows that's going to lead her down a path that's going to be so dangerous and so fragile. One wrong step and everything is gone. One wrong step and she's gone. "S-seriously. You w-were amazing. You d-d-did everything f-f-for K-K-Kaden."

"I tried,"Emryn whimpers as Kaden shakes against her chest because of her tears.

"And t-t-that w-was e-e-enough,"Auggie promises, pressing a few kisses to the top of Emryn's head, rubbing his fingers against Emryn's shoulder. "I-It w-w-was e-e-enough."

"It wasn't,"Emryn shakes her head, looking up at Auggie with the most broken eyes. Eyes that he fears won't ever be whole again.

"I love you, little guy,"Emryn shakily whispers, rubbing her finger against the side of Kaden's cold head as her chest hiccups. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, honey. I really am. Mumma's so sorry."

~~~~~~~

Um yeah so I definitely didn't get through writing that chapter without crying 😭

I promise you they get their happy ending soon, I promise I promise I promise!!

^^^and the happy ending is SO worth it and they are both SOOOOO happy!! Just a few more chapters, I promise!!!

NEXT CHAPTER ON THE TIMELINE: A Lennon and Nora chapter!!! Let's meet the twins shall we?!?! 💙💙

^^^we're finally getting more little boys in the family to try and even out the little girls 🥺 and their will be more little boys in the future ;)

ALSO IM SO HAPPY FOR ALL OF YOU IN THE UK WHO ARE GETTING HARRY IN THE SUMMER AHHH THATS SO SO AWESOME!!!

I love you all so much, and I'm so sorry for this chapter ahaha xxx I hope you all still love me and can find it in your hearts to forgive me 😂

MWAH

-Mel 💛