felix was on the move.
despite the slight limp in his leg, he carried himself to the bathroom.
no, he did not rehearse what he was going to say - he didn't even know if hyunjin was going to even listen to him.
the closer he approached the bathroom, the more be began to question whether this was a good idea.
chan had a point - if hyunjin was going to listen to anyone, it would be him or yeji.
but then again, does hyunjin necessarily want to hear him out?
shaking his head, felix tried to rid of himself from the negative thoughts.
he was going to find out one way or another.
slowing down, he pulled (initially he pushed) the bathroom door open.
to felix's surprise, it seemed that no one was there.
the eerie silence put felix off slightly but if what yeji was saying is true, then hyunjin was in one of these cubicles.
as he walked in, his reflection drew his attention.
for a moment he paused and examined himself in the mirror.
it seemed that chan had made attempts at smearing the blood off his face but the wounds on his face were pretty prominent.
felix would have to make a pit stop at the nurse's office - they're friendly with each other anyway.
that's when felix heard a sniffle.
"hyunjin?" felix called out, barely picking up the almost silent gasp.
walking down the cubicles, he noticed that one of them was firmly shut.
it was occupied by hyunjin - still, he gave no response.
felix visibly gulped, not knowing where to go next.
he's facing it now.
sliding down, felix slumped himself against the cubicle door, ignoring how grimy the tiles probably were from not being cleaned for an entire decade.
but the bathroom's hygiene wasn't his main priority.
he tilted his head, just hitting the door of the cubicle ever so slightly.
"how are you feeling?" felix asked, his voice mellow and deep in order to not overwhelm the boy behind the door.
felix wasn't expecting an immediate response so the moments of silence after his query didn't surprise him.
he was certain he wouldn't get a reply until a meek voice from behind him voiced out.
"like shit"
the words alone can be assumed to carry some form of venom but hyunjin's tone was the opposite.
his voice held no power, muffled and almost weak but yet, held a level of stability.
it took a minute for felix to think of a reply.
he knew he was walking on thin ice, especially when he's talking to hyunjin in a vulnerable state.
felix hummed.
"same" felix chuckled dryly.
he figured that relating to him would be a much better response as he didn't want hyunjin to assume felix was pitying him.
then a scoff.
"just why are you here? to entertain yourself?" hyunjin asked, now with a hint of venom in his tone.
he was using his every last bit of poison to scare felix away but it didn't work that easily.
"i know you didn't mean your words" felix responded, dodging his question entirely.
no, he wasn't here for entertainment.
felix was here for reconciliation.
eyes staring straight ahead at the opposite cubicle, he noticed how hyunjin's breath hitched.
hyunjin was taken aback.
felix used his silence to continue.
"wouldn't it be hypocritical of you to defend me one day and suddenly use my trauma to humiliate me the next ? you've been an ass but you're far from being a hypocrite" felix laughed, looking down to stare at his knees.
his back subsequently started aching, despite only being on the floor for less than five minutes.
he can't help that he has the back of a seventy year old man.
"you're right"
felix perked up, eyes alert as he waited for hyunjin to continue.
"i don't know about being a hypocrite, only other people can really judge that but what i said to you today wasn't and isn't what i truly think" hyunjin replied.
"then why did you say that?" felix prompted.
felix wasn't going to go too lightly on hyunjin; whether he meant his words or not, they stung felix and belittled his trauma.
"you should have been able to recognise that the man you saved me from is someone who has been very hurtful towards me in the past - not only did you belittle my trauma, you also downplayed other physical abuse victims.. whether you meant it or not"
a heavy silence followed.
felix's tone may have been harsh but he had to get his point across.
whether it was some cruel joke or not, hyunjin should take accountability for what he said.
"i'm really sorry, felix"
felix listened.
"i was too up tight about my reputation that i spewed shit i didn't even mean; you saw right through me and everything i said cannot be excused" hyunjin continued through the crevices of the cubicle door.
what surprised felix was that hyunjin was very well-spoken and was very quick to accept the consequences.
in a way, the aussie knew hyunjin wouldn't deny such things because he was probably one the most authentic people he knew.
and yet, it still threw him off.
"thank you for apologising.. you know, you're very well-spoken" felix couldn't help but point out.
the younger heard a shy chuckle from behind the door.
"you really think so?"
"yeah, you have a way with words.. really passionate" felix grinned, conveying his genuine thoughts through his words.
felix could almost sense the smile on hyunjin's face and was hoping he could see it one day.
he was sure that hyunjin has a beautiful smile.
for a moment, felix assumed hyunjin was flustered an unable to speak until he heard a deep sigh.
"can i tell you something?" hyunjin asked, a hint of vulnerability in his voice.
felix perked up, feeling his heart warm at the request.
why? because felix expected himself to be the last person hyunjin would tell things.
but now, it seems that isn't the case.
"go ahead, i'm all ears" felix replied, ready to listen to what hyunjin's got.
it seemed that hyunjin was battling with his own hesitation, as if he was having a "now or never" moment.
but felix stayed in tune and patient, becoming less bothered by the state of the bathroom floors.
he's certain he's sat on more disgusting surfaces so perhaps he's not too fazed.
while hyunjin built up the courage, felix began to ponder what he was going to tell him.
but what he got in return was not what he expected.
"i think i'm gay?" hyunjin said, almost sounding like he's questioning himself.
the words caused felix's eyes to double in size, clearly not expecting such a confession.
an awkward laugh came afterwards.
"only yeji knows about this, funny how you're the next to know.." hyunjin continued, feeling slightly embarrassed.
hyunjin didn't find being gay something to be embarrassed about, he was just really awkward, especially when coming out to someone he's been on bad terms with for ages now.
and then felix realised.
this is what there was more to hyunjin.
he didn't know how he had only just realised it after he spent so much time analysing hyunjin as a person and as well as his attitude.
listen, felix wasn't all too fond of hyunjin and would dread their interactions but he had to admit - hyunjin was probably one of the most interesting people he's ever met.
not once did felix ever meet someone who carried themself like hyunjin did, not even in australia.
so undoubtedly, hyunjin's character intrigued felix a lot.
"that's cool, so am i" felix replied nonchalantly.
"oh?"
felix bent over and started laughing at the response he got.
"what? you thought i was going to be homophobic? have you seen me? i'm a literal walking pride flag" felix laughed wholeheartedly.
"no, it's not that! it's just.. i appreciate how you didn't blow it up or make it a big deal" hyunjin was quick to reply.
"that's because it isn't a big deal - if you think your sexuality is gonna tarnish your reputation then maybe you should care less about your status" felix replied.
"..my reputation is utterly tarnished either way" hyunjin responded in a small voice.
"you have a lot of time to build it back up hyunjin, i think you need to start fresh.. be confident in yourself but not to the point where you become prideful, that's what the old hyunjin was like" felix spoke.
hyunjin let out a noise of bewilderment.
"the old hyunjin.. are you saying i'm not him anymore?" hyunjin queried, genuine confusion in his tone.
"the moment you apologised and asked if you could tell me something was when you left your old self behind" felix replied.
a moment of silence dwelled over the two of them as hyunjin calculated and concentrated on felix's words.
another thing felix picked up on - hyunjin always took other people's words into account and analysed them.
"you know how people in this school are about sexual orientation.." hyunjin murmured.
it was understandable that hyunjin was worried.
felix had grown up in a more open-minded country so the idea of homosexuality wasn't something that he had to ever worry about.
it was still foreign to him when he came to korea and people were a lot more hush hush about it but still, felix strided with confidence.
hence how he was able to date doyoung, unfortunately, a very terrible boyfriend.
it's other people's problem if they had an issue with felix being gay.
"listen, being ashamed of your sexual orientation is what homophobes want.. obviously, it's not something you necessarily need to parade but something you should be proud of - hyunjin, you should be proud to be gay" felix reminded.
it seemed hyunjin acknowledged his words.
"i shouldn't care about what other people think.." hyunjin spoke slowly as felix violently nodded, not like hyunjin would have seen anyway.
"of course! i think it's amazing to be gay" felix grinned.
silence loomed over them once again, it seemed to be a reoccurring practice.
but that's because hyunjin was thinking - thinking a lot.
"do you.. not hate me?" hyunjin asked all of a sudden.
felix was almost endeared.
the question sounded like it came from a child who broke mum's favourite vase.
hyunjin himself was quite endearing and it disappointed felix how much of a facade he put up that hid this side of him.
"i'll be honest, i never truly hated you.. i was just confused or annoyed by you most times" felix replied truthfully.
the door swings open, felix letting out a yelp of surprise as the back of his head hit hyunjin's feet.
not quite what he was expecting or wanting.
felix blinked up at hyunjin, who held a look of instant regret.
"oh shit sorry, why did it completely pass my mind that you were leaning against the door" hyunjin apologised profusely, leaning down to help felix get back up.
the brunette let out a snort, taking hyunjin's hand with appreciation as he stood up on his feet.
he took a glance at hyunjin's face.
the rims of his eyes were red and felix couldn't ignore the pink dustings on hyunjin's nose and cheeks.
it was without a doubt that hyunjin had been crying and it tugged a few heartstrings.
he still had blood smeared all over his face but he still managed to look angelic - hyunjin never seemed to look bad at any given day or situation.
and just like felix had imagined, hyunjin truly had a beautiful smile.
it wasn't a smirk or a mischievous grin - it was a genuine smile.
"i'm glad you're giving me another chance" hyunjin replied timidly, despite being a head taller than felix.
the taller had nothing to be shy or scared about because felix was the most harmless being to ever walk the planet.
unless you're doyoung and holding a banana flavoured beverage.
felix beamed, finally being able to see hyunjin for who he was.
hyunjin was just a shy kid who was willing to help himself become a better person.
"of course, let's get out of here, yeah? i say we should make a pit stop at the nurse's office" felix suggested as they both stood in the mirror to inspect their wounds.
yikes, felix wish he looked as good as hyunjin despite looking like he came out of a bloodbath.
he could only dream.
hyunjin nodded shyly as they both left the bathroom, leaving as not enemies but now as friends.
-
"so what you're trying to tell me is that you befriended hwang hyunjin?"
felix let out quite possibly the deepest sigh of his life, wanting to soccer punt seungmin in the face.
but once again, he was morally- hopefully morally right and was in a public setting.
"yes seungmin, i've told you a good twenty times" felix replied, obvious irritation in his voice as he took a sip of aloe vera juice.
it had been a few days since hyunjin and felix had their heart-to-heart moment on the floor of the school's restroom.
things around school had noticeably gotten a lot brighter.
now that the hierarchy collapsed, the social imbalance was minimised and a lot more people were becoming closer and no longer feeling afraid to create new friendships.
obviously - just like how real life goes - the process wasn't smooth but every student was making an effort at adjusting to it.
3racha, who were among the second tier of the hierarchy (also known as the "popular" tier), was not affected at all.
none of them cared, they were too busy barricading themselves in the music room to focus on upholding their popularity, which seemed like they didn't need to do much to uphold their popularity anyway.
3racha would be well known no matter what.
barricading themself is exactly what they're doing now - their upcoming project was only days away and 3racha doesn't want to risk a messy, last minute producing sesh.
it would have to be during today's lunchtime.
felix was just happy that people looked at him with kindness and not with pity.
it was a common look people casted upon him.
he knew there was nothing malicious about it but felix didn't want to be known as the boy who continuously got beaten up as everyone stood by and watched.
the pitiful looks on their faces anytime felix would enter the locker area would forever haunt his mind.
hopefully felix would be able to replace those memories with their more kinder stares.
and finally, hyunjin.
people were skeptical of how hyunjin had run away and suddenly came back a new person and felix couldn't exactly blame them.
he knew in due course that more people will learn that he's being sincere and will give him another chance.
but it seems like people already have the moment hyunjin flashes them his famous "dumpling grin"
yeah, that nickname has made its rounds across the campus as now, instead of his infamous smirk being his thing, it hasd been replaced by his wonderful grin.
he's been described as a "dumpling" because when hyunjin smiled, his cheeks would puff up and his eyes would turn into crescent moons - apparently, that made him embody a dumpling.
but no one argued against it.
"you amaze me hyung, how you can take someone like him and help him realise what he's done and how he can improve" jeongin smiled sweetly at the aussie.
felix resisted the temptation to hold jeongin's face in his hands and give his cheeks a giant squeeze.
"that's really sweet of you innie" felix replied with a giggle.
the brunette gazed at a table not too far from them, seeing a familiar set of twins who seem to be a lot closer than they usually were.
felix couldn't help but melt at the sight because yeji and hyunjin looked genuinely happy.
yeji really had her brother back.
"it's nice to finally be able to breathe in this school" minho half joked, seeming to follow felix's line of sight.
"definitely.. i think things will get better from here" felix replied, finally feeling like he can say that with certainty.
as the new student, felix didn't think he would find himself in this situation.
but if it meant that every student could show up to school feeling less burdened about their image then felix couldn't have it any other way.
jeongin perked up.
"oh, we love an optimist!"
"shut up" seungmin mumbled.
---