ZEKIAH XYRIEL'S POV
"Okay ka lang ba talaga? I sense something wrong in here."
I didn't take a glance at Alina and continued placing my things inside her guest room. Gusto kong manatili sa bahay ni Lolo kaso napaka-tahimik at nag-iisa lang din ako. I'm used to it before but things were changed when he messed up with me. Nasanay na akong may maingay sa tabi ko at hindi na ako nag-iisa. That's what I'm longing for...someone would accompany me at all times. Sinanay kase ako ng panandalian kaya hinahanap-hanap ko na ng pang-matagalan.
"I just felt alone, Ali. Wala rin naman ang parents mo rito at hindi ka rin pwedeng samahan ng boyfriend mo nang walang ibang kasama sa bahay. This house makes me feel comfortable, that's it." I shrugged my shoulders before crawling on the bed.
She did the same way and sat beside me."Sanay ka naman na tahimik at mag-isa sa condo mo. What's with the sudden move?"
"Why are you finding something more than my sudden move, huh? May gusto ka bang malaman o ano?" I raised my brow at her.
"Nag-away ba kayo?"
Did we? Mukhang bang away ang nangyari kanina? Hindi naman siya tunog galit o nagtatampo. Disappointed, maybe?
I sighed and covered myself with the blanket, lying on the bed now."Let's not talk about him. I'm tired so I want to sleep early. Bukas na lang ulit."
"Alam ko kung anong dahilan. You want space so he gave it to you. Mas mabuti nga muna 'yon. Rynier said that his grades were getting lower. Hindi na siya nasali sa final ranking," she said and get off the bed.
I gasped."H-He didn't...placed the top?"
"Wala raw siya sa tamang pag-iisip kapag nasa klase. He might be so busy but it's not enough for him to remain on top. Dapat nando'n ang full attention niya kaso araw-araw siyang naglalaan ng oras para sa'yo. It's not that I'm blaming you too but... Lare you even doing the same thing to him?"
She left me dumbfounded, thinking of the words she said. Shael...wants me to be on the top like what I'm yearning for. Alam niya 'yon kaya tinulungan niya ako. What made me pissed is that..he's not doing it to himself. He did not make it on top. Or maybe I didn't help him so he failed.
I tried my best. I did everything I can to do my part. Isn't that enough? Or maybe he doesn't really want to be on top like me. Okay na sa kanya kung anong kaya niyang abutin. Unlike me, I always want the best for myself. And I did it.
Nakatulog ako ng mahimbing sa kakaisip ng sinabi ni Alina. I woke up at 6:30 in the morning because I didn't set an alarm. Gusto kong makapagpahinga ng maayos and gladly I did. Naligo agad ako bago bumaba para tingnan kung anong ginagawa ng pinsan ko. I saw her preparing the foods in the table.
"Oh, you're awake! I was about to eat alone," she joked after seeing me entered the room.
I simply rolled my eyes and sat on my chair."Hurry up and eat. We're going somewhere after this. Magsuot ka ng pormal na damit."
We used her car on the way to the church. Wala siyang kahit anong malay na doon kami pupunta. It wasn't a surprise. Alam kong magtatanong siya sa'kin hanggang sa magsawa. I don't even know how to explain it to her. Basta. Bigla na lang sumagi sa isip ko ang pumunta sa lugar na 'yon.
"Why didn't you tell me that we're just going in the church?! Tingnan mo nga 'tong suot ko! Pang-business attire!" She glared at me.
"C'mon, Alina. There's nothing wrong with it." I pulled her hand inside the gate.
We're both wearing a face mask since I'm still in a hot issue. Kilala rin nila si Ali bilang pinsan ko at mabuti na lang hindi dinumog ang bahay nila. I already explained, anyways. It's on them if they will believe it or not. Kahit nga na ako, hindi naman ako naniwala sa sinabi ko.
That was just a lie. Indeed.
"Sinong santo ang bumulong sa'yo para dalhin ako rito at pasasalamatan ko. You're not a devil anymore, Ze!" she said happily.
Ze?! What a weird nickname.
"Call me by my name. I'm still a devil, just so you know."
After the mass, I accidentally saw him with his brothers together with Katria. They were also wearing a face mask like us. My eyes widened when his eyes landed on the other side so I immediately looked away. Alina, who's busy buying that street foods called kwekwek, didn't notice them.
What the heck?! Ayokong makita nila ako!
"Ali! Let's go now! They're here!" I mumbled, pulling the edge of her sleeves.
Winaksi niya naman ang kamay ko at hindi ako pinansin kaya napamura ako sa kaloob-looban ko. I was about to look at my back when I saw him practically beside me. Mabilis akong napaiwas ng tingin at nagmamadaling umalis para hindi nila ako mapansin.
Nagsimba naman ako ngayon pero tinamaan talaga ako ng malas at nabunggo ko ang isa sa mga kapatid niya. It was Raizer. My face mask fell on the ground so it revealed my identity. Good thing they were just the people in here so no one noticed it...except for them.
"Zeriel..We didn't expe---"
I raised my both hands a little, stopping Cohen from talking."D-Don't...Just don't tell him that you saw me here. Were...nothing now."
Nagkatinginan naman sila at napilitang tumango kaya nakahinga ako kahit papaano. He might think that I'm following him.. or missing his presence.
"Anak ng---Natapunan pa talaga ako ng sauce. Parang may galit yata sa'kin 'yong naka-business attire na may violet mask."
I was stiffened and slowly put back my mask on my face. His brother panicked at little so I gestured them to quickly send me away.
One more thing, he's pertaining to my cousin. Sana hindi niya nahalata na si Alina 'yon.
"Sumiksik ka kaseng timawa ka! Atat na atat, eh," Kat added.
Akken walked to my direction and tapped my shoulders."Sorry, ate. Pasensya na kung nabunggo kita. Ingat ka po."
Maybe that was the sign to I nodded and walked away, faster than I could. I need to get away from here before he could recognize me. Hindi ako sigurado pero baka..galit na siya sa'kin ngayon. I didn't chase him that night so he was probably offended. Even if I'm going to curse myself because of that, he's already nowhere to be found.
I told Alina to drop me off to our entertainment. Magsisimula na ulit ako sa pag-eendorse dahil hindi naman ako nawalan ng mga clients. Though, they weren't as many as before but it will do. At least, I could have another album to release. I should make my career stronger now. Sophie's really well-determined to detach me from the modeling industry.
"Problemado na naman 'yang mukha mo. Is it about the issue or him?" pangungulit na naman ni Carol.
Why are they asking me about him?! Wala na kaming connections sa isa't isa.
"About the issue, how is it going? Malala pa rin ba gaya ng dati?" I changed the topic.
She sighed and sat in front of me."Hindi naman siya masyadong malala. I mean, nabawasan lang ng konti. It's not getting better so you're career is still in danger. I'm taking actions about it, though."
"Si head? Is she angry at me too?" I asked.
I don't really talk to our head. Kumbaga, si Carol lang ang lumalapit sa kanya para magtanong o 'di kaya'y humingi ng permiso. We don't have personal conversations or such. It's not that we don't like each other. Masasabi kong may pagka-parehas kami ng ugali. Konti.
She shrugged her shoulders."Not sure. Paalala ko lang sa'yo na semestral break mo na kaya dapat mag-focus ka sa iisang bagay. It's your career. Kapag maraming albums and magazines na nai-release kahit 3 times a week lang, mabilis niyan matatabunan ang issue mo. Let's start with it next week. Alright?"
"I'll try, Caroline. Hindi lang naman ang issue ko worlwide ang nag-iisang problema rito. I-I have...a lot of things to fix." I massaged the bridge of my nose, getting confused.
"I know. And your career is the main here. Kapag hindi mo 'to naunang maayos, magkaka-problema ulit at siguradong wala nang solusyon pa rito." She smiled a little before turning her attention to the other staffs.
Inayusan ulit nila ako para sa last endorsement namin ngayon araw. It was a lingerie. A new fashioned style. I made some pose for it and cameras were flickering to my eyes. We took half an hour for it to finish before the 3:00 o'clock break.
I stayed in the entertainment for long because I had to re-schedule my duties. Wala na ngang pasok next week tapos full na naman ang task na kailangan kong gawin. This is the life of being a celebrity.
"We have to fly in Norway for the beauty pageant since you're being invited to be one of the judges. We'll stay there for 3 days and 2 nights including your fan signing the next day. Got it?" Caroline keep on talking while I just nod at her.
Nakakapagod 'yon panigurado. Its been months since my last travel out of the country so I kinda forgot how it feels. I missed travelling so I'm also excited.
"Kailan tayo makakauwi?" I asked, playing with my nails. Maybe I could change the color if my nails whe we get there.
Nakakasawa na ang kulay.
She closed the notes of my shedules."Sa Friday night pa. Hindi ko alam ang estimated hours ng flights natin pero sure akong gabi na tayo makakauwi."
W-What?! Friday night? Isn't it...
"Friday is May 20, right? Can we move the date? Let's cancel the meeting on Tuesday so we could travel that day," mabilis kong sabi.
Her brows creased."Ano bang sinasabi mo? Si head ang nagpatawag ng meeting, Zeriel. We don't have the right to cancel it."
"Then, we won't cancel it but the meeting will be moved to Saturday. Papasok ako sa rest day ko," desidido kong sagot.
"I'll talk the head about that. Ano ba kaseng meron sa May 20? Hindi mo naman birthday, ah?" she asked reluctantly.
I stood up from my chair, ready to leave."An important day for me. Don't ask anymore."
I woke up early the next morning for my beauty salon. I already told Carol that I will work half-day for my monthly renewal. Syempre naman, papayag siya dahil ayaw niya ring may konting scar ang mukha ko. Siya pa nga ang palaging nagtutulak sa'kin na magpa-beauty salon. I just couldn't find some time for it.
I changed the color of my hair to blonde with a mix of my original black hair. Bale stripe blonde and black siya. I find it attractive so I chose it. My curly hair turned into a straight one and I'm not sure if they could still recognize me with this.
"You look so pretty with this nails, Madam. Ayaw mo bang palitan?" The gay who changed my hair asked me.
I shook my head in disapproval."I will change this in some other place. Tapos na ba 'to?"
"Yes, Madam. Just don't tie your hair for a week or else you will have split ends," he reminded me.
I went shopping after that, wearing my shades to pretend a commoner. Parang nagugustuhan ko na rin ang ganito dahil walang masyadong nakatingin sa'yo. Kung meron man, saglit lang tapos wala na. This is my life before. Not perceptible to anyone.
I went for a collection of new bags to be placed on my room. I'm planning to buy the best style for my travel the next day. Gusto kong presentable akong tingnan pagdating ko ro'n. May mga susundo pa naman sa'min sa airport.
I was looking for an available restaurant na walang masyadong tao. I ordered a simple lunch meal, veggies and pasta. Simula ngayon, hindi na muna ako kakain ng fatty foods. I need to get back my healthy diet to remain my physically fit body again.
"Anong order natin? We have to make it fast. Baka wala na tayong uupuan. There's no vacant restaurant in the Mall."
Muntik ko nang maibuga ang iniinom kong tsaa nang marinig ang boses na 'yon sa gilid ko. Why are we seeing each other in the same place? Ngayon pa na hindi maayos ang sitwasyon at masyadong complicated ang mga bagay-bagay.
"Kahit na ano na lang ang sa'kin, kayong bahala. I'll find a sit right there." I heard his footsteps at my back so my breath became heavy.
Mabuti na lang talaga at hindi ko tinanggal ang shades ko kundi baka nakilala na nila ako. I don't want to be recognized for now. Saka na siguro kapag nakabalik na ako galing sa Norway.
Bumagal ang pagnguya ko nang maramdaman ang presensya nilang lahat sa likuran ko. I tried not to act like I'm affected so I finished my food directly. I left the bill on my table before fixing my things to leave. Nang tumalikod ako ay hindi ko sinasadyang matisod sa suot kong heels dahil sa pagmamadali kaya napahawak ako sa balikat ng lalaking nakaupo at nakatalikod sa'kin.
I know it's him. Kilala ko ang likod niya kaya hindi ako pwedeng magkamali.
"Miss? Okay ka lang?" he asked to get my attention.
Mabilis kong binawi ang kamay ko sa balikat niya at walang pasabing umalis. He's not wearing a face mask now and so as them. Syempre, kakain sila kaya bakit pa magsusuot ng mask?
Hindi ako nagsalita dahil alam kong makikilala niya ang boses ko. And to avoid seeing them again, I hurriedly went home. Wala na akong pakialam kung hindi pa kami close ng ama kong walang silbi. My collection of bags is on my room. Hindi naman siguro nila pinakialaman ang kwarto ko habang wala ako.
"Ate, can we go shopping next time? Kapag libre ka pwede mo 'kong isama? Bored kase ako rito sa bahay eh." Scarlet sat on my bed and I didn't say anything.
Hindi ako 'yong tipo na nagpapaupo sa kama ko ng kung sino-sino pero hinayaan ko lang siya. She's my half-sister, anyways.
I nodded after arranging my things."I'll try next Sunday or Monday. When is your recognition? I'll attend it."
"Wag na lang, Ate. It's on Wednesday and I know you're busy on that day. Ipapakita ko na lang sa'yo ang medals ko," she proudly answered.
"Just make sure you can let me see it. Aalis na ako bukas papuntang Norway. What do you want me to buy?" I gestured her to come closer so that I could fix her hair.
Gosh! Hindi ba siya nagsuklay? Why is it so messy?
She clapped her hands."I want a chocolate. 'Yong malaki tapos masarap. Okay lang ba 'yon, Ate?"
"Hmm. I'll try to find that one."
Dumeretso kaagad ako sa entertainment pagkatapos para sa sign of agreement. Maraming mga papeles na hindi ko maintindihan. Caroline just handed me those papers that needed my sign. Hindi ko na lang binasa at inintindi dahil nakakasakit sa ulo. I felt sleepy because of that.
I was signing the papers for the whole time. I'm not a business woman or such but this work of mine says it all. Nakakatamad lalo at masakit pa sa kamay. I'm not going do this next time!
"Isn't it unfair?! I'm signing this unknown papers while you're just sitting there and drinking coffee?" I raised a brow at her.
She chuckled."I'm not the model here, Zeriel. You should be used to it. You work isn't just taking a pose and walking in stage."
I rolled my eyes and didn't talk back. Nakakainis na talaga! She always hit the point!
Nagising ako ng madaling araw dahil sa kalampag ni Alina. She serves as my alarm clock because she woke up earlier than me. It was still 3:00 AM and the flight will be at 4:00 AM. How did she wake up on time?
"Balita ko malamig sa Norway kaya kinuha kita ng makapal na jacket. Mainit 'to sa loob kaya hindi ka giginawin." She placed it on the bed while smiling at me widely.
Kumunot naman agad ang noo ko."Stop it. Ano bang gusto mo? Bag, shoes, what?"
"Yikes! Akala ko hindi mo'ko tatanungin. I want a Rosey Flesh perfume and an elegant dress for our monthsary," she answered happily.
"Just perfume, Ali. Hindi ko alam kung magkano ang---"
"Please? It's for our monthsary. My dear cousin---"
"Ugh. Fine! Uubusin mo na naman ang pera ko. I still have to buy Scarlet a gift," I mumbled.
She stuck out her tongue."Says the one who earns millions a week."
Hinatid ako ni Alina sa airport at pagdating ko ro'n, nando'n agad si Caroline at 'yong tatlong kasama namin na taga-buhat ng gamit. There were no cameras around or stalkers. Most of the people here were busy and waiting for their numbers to be called. Sila na ang nag-asikaso lahat kaya nakaupo lang ako sa waiting area kasama si Ali. She wants to see the plane where I'm going to aboard.
"Don't you have plans to see him before you go?" she asked out of a sudden.
I stared at her for a minute before shrugging off my shoulders."I-I cant...Besides, we saw each other for a couple of times. Hindi niya nga lang ako nakilala dahil sa buhok ko."
"We still have 20 minutes before the plane will take off. Ayaw mo talaga?" pamimilit niya pa.
"He's still asleep right now. Magkikita na lang siguro kami pagdating ko. I'll buy him a cake." I gave her a small smile.
I waved goodbye at her when I finally entered the plane. They get me a private seat in front where there's no other people except for us. Walang masyadong nakakakilala sa'kin dito dahil nakasuot ako ng shades. Palagi talaga 'tong sumasagip sa'kin.
While we were above the clouds, I took a picture of it and posted in my instagram account. I captioned it 'The sky feels good' and got thousands of likes in just a few seconds. There were comments from my fans and some unfamiliar people so I just neglected it. What caught me off guard was Katria's comment. I stalked her and found out that she was following me.
@katiieprettyyy: Nasa langit ka na agad? Sana sinabi mo para sumama ako :(
Napasapo na lang ako sa noo ko dahil sa comment niya. Wala ba siyang matinong sasabihin? She look so dumb.
@acohenyohh: Umalis ng walang pasabi~~@casshael
Another notification popped up. It was Cohen. He's following me too. Actually, all of them followed me. Shocks. Are they stalking me?
Tapos minention niya pa si Shael. He shouldn't have done that.
@casshael: Gago! Hanggang dito rinig ko ang boses mo. Ang panget, lol.
I bit my lower lip and turned off my phone. He's bothered by his brother about that. Ayaw ko sanang buksan ulit ang phone ko pero may nag-uudyok sa'king gawin 'yon.
My heart doubled a beat when I saw him liked my post. Umiwas na lang ako ng tingin para hindi mapansin ni Carol na namumula ang pisngi ko. I don't know if that was just an accident or he really meant to like it.
It was just a like, Zeriel. Stop yourself.
Hindi ko namalayang nakatulog pala ako sa byahe at nagising na lang nang makarinig ng maraming boses. I saw Carol talking to someone, an English speaker. 'Yong tatlong taong kasama namin, dala na 'yong mga bagahe at iba pa naming mga gamit.
I immediately stood up to fix myself so their eyes narrowed on me. May sinabi saglit si Carol sa kanya bago lumapit sa'kin. That guy didn't take his eyes from me so I felt a little bit irritated. Ayoko pa rin na tinititigan ako ng mga lalaki.
Except for...uh nevermind.
"Zeriel, he's Froilan, our guide. May mga kasama pa siya sa labas na magha-handle sa daraanan natin. Expect that there are cameras and reporters everywhere so always wear your attractive smile," she whispered to me.
I just nodded because that Froilan kept on staring at me even if I'm wearing shades. Ngayon pa lang, wala na akong balak na tanggalin 'to paglabas namin. Kakagising ko lang kaya baka may muta ang mata ko. Duh.
"Bakit lalaki? I don't like him being near with me," I murmured, getting ready to get outside the plane.
She laughed a little."Gwapo naman siya, ah. Ngayon mo pa tinanong. I thought you're not mad at guys anymore. You know, Shael got you."
"It's a different thing, Carol. He's not Shael. Hindi ko rin siya type. Malaki ang pagkakaiba nila."
She pursed her lips and looked away. Lumabas na kami nang senyasan kami ni Froilan na pwede na kaming lumabas. I inhaled a large amount of air before stepping on the stairs. As usual, flashes of cameras welcomed me. Like what Carol instructed me, I smiled at them. Though, it's not my real smile. Half lang siguro. Hindi naman ako totally na masaya.
"Ms. Knoxville, how are you feeling right now? It's your first time to visit our place that ranked top 3 who supports you worldwide," A reported asked so I had to stop and face her.
"It's a pleasure to come here as what I've been wishing for. I'm here to express my fully gratitude to all of you. Thank you," I smiled as I started walking away to follow the guide.
"Grabe. Parang totoong feel mo talagang masaya ka. I hope it's not a lie." She was so cautious because of the people around us.
I kept on smiling to both sides, showing my gaiety."I'm not pretending to be happy, Carol. I don't have to."
"Sana nga. Ako ang naiistress kapag nakita kong peke ka. You look like a girl who was forced to meet someone," she scoffed.
We rode a private car and Froilan was the driver. Siya pa rin ang kasama namin magmula kanina. Ako na ang nagsasawa sa presensya niya. I still don't want the presence of guys around me. Lalo na kung taga-ibang bansa.
We stopped in a big building and those butlers who were in the other car guide us inside. We were going to have a short discussion for the pageant tomorrow morning. And then after that, I'm going to meet the contestants. I don't feel nervous at all. Being a professional isn't new to me. Pang-limang beses na akong kinuhang judge sa isang pageant. This is just a piece of cake for me.
"For now, I will gave you the other details for tomorrow so you could read it on the private house we prepared for you. Rest yourself for tomorrow, Zeriel." Celina, one of the judges instructed me.
I'm not informed that they were really prepared. I thought were just going to book a hotel but I was wrong. They idolized me that much, huh.
I smiled sweetly at her, taking off my shades."You don't have to do that but I felt honored for it. Thank you, Celina."
We ate lunch right after we arrived in the said house where we are going to stay for three days. Kumain na kami ng breakfast sa plane kanina. Nagulat nga ako dahil 11:20 na rito. Hindi parehas ang oras sa Pilipinas dito sa Norway. They have their own clock here. Sa phone ko, 8:20 pa sa Pilipinas.
Ang bilis naman ng oras nila rito!
Pumunta ako sa balcony pagkatapos kong kumain. I called Caroline to take a picture with me so I could post it on my instagram account, saying that I arrived here already. I changed my clothes earlier so I was wearing a simple loose pants with a pair of fitted off-shoulder croptop na black. I looked sideways, pretending that I'm staring in the sky.
Marami kaagad akong notifications na natanggap pagkatapos kong mag-post. But there's one comment that will always caught my attention.
@casshael: Pengeng pasalubong pag-uwi mo. Kahit kiss lang, okay na.
Is he playing with me? The heck! Parang nangangati na ang kamay kong mag-reply sa kanya.
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