Hello! Before you start reading, I wanted to say something to cause no confusion. First of all, I'm sorry to be updating this late. I really couldn't find an ending for this one and still haven't. I'm sorry if this upsets anyone. I've been rethinking my decision on publishing this one and since I couldn't seem to find an ending, I thought I'd just publish it. But I also thought, if you want, you could write your own ending in the comments at the end, so that everyone who reads this, can have different and creative types of endings. I don't know if it sounds stupid, was just a thought. I don't really know if I'll delete this later or if I like this enough to keep it here, but time will tell, I don't know. Anyway, as I've said, hope you're not upset, hope you enjoy it!
The wind's whistling was heard outside. No students were around as it was too cold. Everyone sat in their warm cozy common rooms,wrapped in blankets, noses above their hot chocolate mugs, huddling in front of the fire place. (Y/n) was surrounded by piles of books, her nose in an on the dark wooden table placed Practical Defensive Magic and its Use Against the Dark Arts. The tip of her finger drove over the words. Skimming it, she turned her head back to the parchment and wrote down information she thought would be useful for her essay. She ended her slowly written sentence and reread it to be sure.
A teardrop ruined a word by dropping right onto it. It smeared and made it unreadable. She cussed at herself, wiping her eye and hastily trying to fix it, though there was no use.
Frustrated, she put her face in her hands, cupped her heated cheeks. One teardrop broke the wall and caused an entire flood. Her bottom lip trembled and she sniffled, before wiping her face once more and letting her arms fall back on the table.
If someone had seen her, they would have laughed at what a crybaby she was, crying because of an essay.
But the essay did not matter that much to her. It was more an excuse to let out her feelings, which she was bottling up all this time.
Her boyfriend was sat in one of those cozy common rooms, enjoying his time with his friends. He didn't know where (y/n) was and she felt like he didn't care that much to think about it either.
Packing her things into her bag and placing the books back to their original places on the shelves of the library, she stood up, wiping her tears one more time before exiting Hogwart's massive library.
———-
She was invited to a night with Draco's friends in the Slytherin common room. Some of his friends had become hers really fast either, so she felt comfortable around them, that was no problem. Having gotten ready, dressed up in some comfortable clothes, she was on her way.
Waiting outside was Theodore Nott, smiling brightly when she was in sight. He side hugged her when she was closer and said the password for them to enter.
"(Y/n)!" Blaise Zabini threw his hands in the air cheerfully. She stepped closer to the black leather couches near the fire place they were sitting on. The light in the common room was quite dim, making it look snug.
She felt a hand pull her softly by her shoulder and a face close to hers. Draco Malfoy, her boyfriend, kissed her cheek softly, before looking at her and smiling.
"Hello" he whispered softly, causing warmth to spread in (y/n)'s body. She felt his breath on her cheek as she smiled as well, his hands still placed on her shoulders.
"Hello" she replied, trying to suppress her smile. Catching a glimpse of Draco, she saw the way his hair had messily fallen on his face and him smirking attractively as he watched her face closely. Her heartbeat quickened.
"Get a room, love birds!" Blaise shouted, the smirk on his face visible in his voice. She turned her head to the left and noticed that they were the only ones still standing. Draco let go of her and took a seat next to Pansy. And even though she knew they were only friends, she couldn't help but feel weird, jealous almost. Tonight was one of the nights where she had Draco's attention. She didn't want anything to ruin that, so she decided to leave it and take a seat next to Theodore.
"Doesn't sit right with me." Theodore's deep voice rung in her right ear, making her jump up a little, her back had been already comfortably sunk in the back of a couch. She turned her head to her right to face him. He had lowered his face to her level, meaning they were quite close.
"What?" She whispered extremely confused while the strong smell of his cologne went to her head.
"That you were sitting alone in the library earlier today. Blaise told me. Why didn't you tell me? I would've kept you some company."
"Oh, that. It's doesn't really matter, Theo. Don't worry. And you also know how that would end. I can't study when you're around."
Looking her directly in the eyes, he pouted playfully. Someone cleared their throat and her eyes shifted to the couch opposite them. Draco's look turned into one of annoyance, whereas a few minutes ago, he was looking all happy.
His arm moved to the back of the couch, right behind Pansy's head. His left hand rested an inch above Pansy's shoulder and she looked up, smiling at him. He returned the smile.
Everyone lost track of time during the night. (Y/n) was tired, but didn't want to be the first one to mention it. So when Blaise was the one doing it, she was really grateful. They all stood up, wanting to go upstairs. Before leaving, (y/n) wanted to say goodbye to Draco. She walked up to him as he was hugging Pansy back. She felt a stich kind of feeling somewhere near her chest at the sight, but decided to make herself forget it before it would lead her into anything risky.
"Draco" she said quietly and he turned around. "Goodnight" she said, hugging him slowly.
It left her confused, embarrassed, anxious even when he didn't hug her back. But hesitantly, so it appeared, he hugged her back, even if a little suspiciously too late.
"Night" he whispered and (y/n) pulled away, eagerly wanting to sleep.
——-
(Y/n)'s pov:
I sat across Pansy, next to her Draco. He was taking the goblet of pumpkin juice in his hands to drink as I watched him. He put it down and listened to Theo talk, staring nowhere specific. I still watched him, observed his oh so pretty face. I could do it forever, just look at him, admire him.
Pansy laughed at something Theo said and Draco looked up almost immediately, looking at her from her smile brightened face. Her eyes sparkled. He stared at her, listening to her as she began talking. And I watched him do so. I watched how mesmerized he was by her. He listened to her pretty voice. And all of sudden, I've never felt more insecure in my life. Why didn't I have a pretty smile, a pretty face, a bewildering enchanting voice you could listen to forever. Why could he not look at me like he looked at her?
I did not know.
But I stood up, eventually. Noticing how he didn't even notice. "I'll go now." I said quietly, hoping he would hear me. Though all he did was listen to Pansy still.
"You're going already?" Theo whined loudly, making Draco look up to see what's going on. He turned his head to me. "Come on, we wanted to study in the library all together!" Theo stood up and I smiled slightly, grateful he cared.
"I'm tired." I lied partially.
"Alright." He sighed, embracing me, giving me a tight hug. Over his shoulder, I saw Draco's eyes pierce Theo's back. His brows formed a frown. "Night." Theo whispered.
"Night." I whispered into his shoulder.
"Mate, your girl is going." Theo turned around to face Draco, who was still sitting.
"Why don't you stay, (y/n)? You can sleep in my dorm later, that's fine with me."
"Thank you, Draco." I shook my head. "But, I'm really tired."
"Alright." His eyes back on his pumpkin juice, the tip of his finger circled the top of the goblet.
Theo sighed again. "Then see you tomorrow?"
I nodded and he let go of me, allowing me to go to my dorm, where I would probably be doing nothing beside finishing some essays.
———
Deep in the night, I had snuck out to go to the kitchen and ask the elves for some food. I was still hungry since I left the great hall earlier than I intended to due to having no appetite anymore.
On my way back, after having finished it all, I bumped into a tall body, causing me to stumble back.
"Draco" I whispered surprised. "Why are you out this late?"
"Could ask you the same." He raised his eyebrow.
"Luna wanted some food." I lied, shaking my head like it was the most obvious thing. "And you?"
"Just went for a walk." He shrugged.
I looked at him doubtfully. "Tell me the truth."
"I am." His short answer did not satisfy me.
"You're not."
"Don't you trust me?!" He sounded harsh, surprising me with the change of tone.
"I usually do, but you seem to hide something, I do notice it, Draco." I argued, though not wanting to at all. "Were you with her?" it bursted out of me before I could think.
"What?" He stared daggers at me. I felt small under his glare.
"I asked you wether you were with her, Draco."I said with a shaky voice, completely frustrated as I saw him look down annoyedly, rolling his tongue against his inner cheek before clenching his jaw a bit. "Tell me the truth, Draco." I watched his gaze go from the floor back to my eyes slowly. He looked at me as I hoped for a no. I waited patiently while looking into his mesmerizing grey eyes.
"No." He shrugged again slightly. "No, I wasn't with her."
"Alright." I whispered, not daring to look away. "Sorry"
"So much to trusting each other, hm?" He looked away from me, the most angry look I had ever seen on him plastered on his face.
"I apologized." I replied sharply, swallowed, not wanting to show the frustration I felt.
But he didn't answer. He moved past me before sending me one more cold look, which made a shiver go down my spine and body. I hugged my waist slowly, wanting the feeling to go away.
———
A loud thud rung in my ears. My head jumped up, my vision was still blurry.
"It must be in this one." A sweet female voice whispered. She was frowning sternly while the tip of her finger drove over some words in a book.
"Mione?" I asked in a sleepy voice.
Her head shot up immediately. "(Y/n)!" She exclaimed, smiling. But her smile fell and she asked "Were you sleeping?"
Burying my face in my hands, I groaned. "No, it's alright." With a heavy sigh, I looked up again. "What are you looking for?"
"Oh." She looked back down at her book, closing it. "Not that important actually. Just thought I could find some extra information for my essay." She smiled.
Not thinking much of that, I looked back down to my parchment. Before falling asleep I hadn't started my essay. And still, I did not know what to write down.
I twisted the quill in my hand, thinking, though yet again, my thoughts were drifting completely elsewhere.
"(Y/n)" Hermione's in tone changed voice made me turn back to her. Her finger was playing with the page of the book in front of her. She was glancing at it, refusing to make eye contact. She seemed to be rather nervous about something.
"Hm?" I hummed quietly.
"Can I tell you something?" She crossed her legs, looking stiff and uncomfortable as well.
I shifted my weight on the chair a bit, adjusting my posture, furrowing my eyebrows. "S-sure" I cleared my throat, answering hesitantly.
"But I don't want you to be sad!" It shot out of her and now, she was holding an intense and direct eye contact. My stomach made a turn, feeling an uncomfortable tingling sensation in my body.
"Wh- why sad?" I tried to smile.
Hermione placed her warm palm on top of my hand, inching closer, swaying while doing so. She opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She pulled back again, sitting straight, faced turned away.
"Hermione?" I asked. It seemed hard for her to speak it out.
"(Y/n)-" she looked at me again. "I'm telling you this because you're my friend. Please don't be mad at me. But you truly need to be the girlfriend of a boy, who actually cares about you."
I parted my lips although I had nothing to say, I couldn't. Coldness surrounded me in less than a second, wrapping my body. "What are you talking about?" I whispered, voice coming out a little raspy. My muscles tightened, tensed and I felt like my heartbeat was all of sudden in my head.
"I saw Malfoy with Astoria Greengrass last night in the hallways. They were intensely kissing, (y/n). And it looked like they just came out of a broom closet." She whispered the last part. "I might be wrong though! I do know they kissed. But I doubt anything else happened."
My mind was a blur as I listened to her. The pace of my heartbeat increased and increased, making me want to throw up and erase all those feelings.
"You're lying." I denied to accept the truth, I tried to convince myself.
She drove a hand through her hair nervously. "I'm sorry."
"No, you're not saying the truth, Hermione. He told me otherwise. He-"
"I know it's hard, (y/n). But-"
"It all had just happened to start turning well again." I said hastily in dismay. "He was being so nice to me the night I spent in the common room! He was being so lovely towards me. He- he kissed me and hugged me and- and he smiled at me, Hermione. He was so- so incredible!" I told her very fast, upset.
Hermione shook her head. "I'm sorry, really." She whispered. And I grabbed my things before storming out, hoping this way, I could escape the truth somehow.
——-
Another night I spent in the hallways of Hogwarts, having just eaten some snacks from the kitchen again. And as if it was all on purpose, the same thing happened- I bumped into him.
"Draco?" I asked, remembering the last time I bumped into him and Hermione's words in the library. "Where are you going?"
"Theodore wanted me to help him with something. I don't know myself. And you?"
"Wanted some food for myself." I told him truthfully.
He nodded, placing his hands into his pockets. I bit my lower lip nervously, thinking wether to risk it all by asking him or not. Though I made the final decision, wanting to ask him one more time. "Draco- the other night, did you- were you-"
"Oh (y/n), not again!" He said incensed.
"After you told me you didn't, I heard from someone, that they saw you with Astoria!" I explained outraged.
"You can't trust me, can you?" He clenched his jaw and inched closer, pointing at my chest.
"No!" I breathed out and he froze, letting his hand sink back to his side, face extremely close. "No, I can't. You lied to me, I know it, Draco. Stop denying it." I almost whispered as it shot out of me. The words felt like poison dripping out of my mouth. I didn't want to look at him this way. I wanted to trust him. I really did.
"So I was with Astoria last night?" He asked as if testing or provoking me. He stepped back, leaving me enough space to breathe again.
"Yes!" Tears were burning in my eyes and throat closing up, every bit of trust getting destroyed, yet again. My trust for him getting shattered, yet again. The way his lies rolled off his tongue was so intoxicating, I always believed him.
"I hate you."
It completely mystified me. He hit a soft spot, pushed a knife right into my heart, causing my tears to roll down my cheeks endlessly. It felt like the whole world stopped. Like my heart stopped or like it moved up to my head because I could clearly feel it throb up there. My throat burnt.
I was too busy, didn't notice the glimpse of regret in his eyes.
"I don't want to speak to you right now." It came out of my mouth without me controlling it. My voice was extremely shaky as I tried to contain my tears as much as I could.
"Good. I don't want to either." He fired back.
Rage poured through my body. My blood boiled. "Then leave!"
He turned around as if he had waited for me to say it. He took one fast step after the other, bewildering me. "You're dead to me!" I cried. "Do you hear me, Draco!"
"You're obsessed, just let it go!" Another sting in my chest.
"You're so fucking toxic!" I shouted my last words before he turned the corner. Anger overtook my body as I did so. Frustration and anger.
My face was burning with heat, eyes feeling puffy, I needed to get back to my dorm.
————
"What happened to you two?" Blaise asked the next day in the great hall at breakfast. "Something obviously did." He added.
I sat as far away from Draco as possible. We both ignored his comment and continued eating. An awkward silence followed as no one dared to break it.
"Hey" Theo pulled me to the side once we were on our way to our next lesson. "You go on. We'll follow." He told the others after he noticed that they stopped to wait for us. "You alright?" He asked once he turned his attention back to me.
"Yeah" I replied glumly.
"I don't believe you." He narrowed his eyes, shaking his head. A smile formed on his face and he bent down to the level of my face. "You look prettier when you're happy. Why don't we skip and talk about it in-" he seemed to be thinking to make the right decision. "The common room?" He asked. "You like it, don't you? It's comfortable and all. Most students won't be there to bother us anyway. They're all in their classes."
"Theo" I muttered.
"Unless there are people skipping like us." He frowned deep in thought, not hearing me, more talking to himself.
"Theo, I really appreciate your offer, but there's no need to be skipping classes."
"Why not?" He pouted playfully.
"It's not worth it."
"If it's making you feel better, it's more than worth it, (y/n)." He said sternly. I shrugged. "Oh, just come one! This one time?"
I opened my mouth to say something.
"(Y/n)" it came from behind Theodore. "Can I talk to you?" Grey eyes ringed with a dark shade of red, bags underneath them, a pale face in sight. He eyed Theo before looking at me, brows knitted into a slight frown at the sight of the two of us together alone.
"I-" I felt awful for still wanting to talk to him and hearing his voice again. But I couldn't help it. I knew it was unhealthy, but I needed to, I felt like. "Yeah" I shrugged, avoiding the eye contact. "Theo, I'll explain later." I smile reassuringly before following Draco to an empty hallway.
"I didn't mean what I said yesterday." It shot out of him.
"What do you mean?" I asked even though I heard him crystal clear.
"I don't- dislike you. I never did. I was stressed. And drunk. A bit. My point is- I was not thinking right. I'm more than grateful to have you as my girlfriend, (y/n)."
Mixed feelings inside my body, all types of thoughts swirling in my head, I was overwhelmed. "But you kissed her." I used my only sensible argument.
"Drunk."
"But-" I did not know what else to say. "But also all the things before. You- you don't look at me like I'm your girlfriend. But when Pansy enters the room, you're all interested in her. And everyone who doesn't know about me would think she is the one you like, Draco. I don't feel loved enough by you."
"Then let's change that."
My lips formed a small smile. Change? He wanted to change. "Let's change that." I repeated his words quietly.
"So, forgive me?" He opened his arms.
"Yes" I breathed out, wrapping my arms around his torso and feeling all warm again.
———-
"Oh, stop!" I giggled, rolling to the other side of Draco's bed as he was trying to tickle me. "Draco!" I sighed with a bright smile. He ran over to my side and before I could climb over the bed again, he had caught me, tickling me and making me laugh a lot.
He pinned my hands down to my sides, trapping me underneath him. His face close to mine, we inhaled and exhaled the same air heavily, trying to catch our breaths again.
He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, a smile following, making me blush.
A loud yet gentle knock on the door made us both look up curiously. And before Draco could react or stand up, it was swung open. Draco looked over his shoulder, not seeming to be bothered by it. But he did as soon as he saw a bewildered Pansy stand at the entrance. He climbed off me.
"What's up?" He asked while I sat up slowly, embarrassed and also disappointed.
Something must have hit her hard. No words escaped her mouth as both me and Draco stared at her expectingly. She stared at Draco. In a sweet and quiet voice she replied "I'll come later." while fiddling with her fingers.
"Alright" he muttered.
Hot blood flowed through me, I felt a flicker of irritation. Out of control, it shot out of me faster than I could think. "What is it?" Her eyes found mine. I stared at her. "Pansy" I added to sound polite.
"(Y/n)" Draco shook his head, hand playing with the edge of the door, ready and appearing eager to close it. "Let's not do this now." He said calmly, knowing exactly where it might lead.
"Why not?" I asked, his wish to be with Pansy alone when I'm not there irritating me. "You can't talk because I'm here?" I asked Pansy.
"No, that's not it-" Draco answered.
"If that's so, go on, Pansy. Don't mind me sitting here. Tell whatever you wanted to tell Draco."
"Uhm" Pansy cleared her throat nervously.
"Oh come on, (y/n)! You don't trust me at all, do you?!"
"I don't know where you got that from at this very moment, but not now, Draco, because now, I'll be listening to your friend and to whatever she has to say to you urgently!" I told him heated.
"She doesn't want to say anything though! You're forcing her to do so!"
"Im not forcing her! Right, Pansy?!"
"I-"
"Don't you see, she doesn't feel comfortable around you!" Draco shouted and suddenly, the room fell silent.
"And what exactly is that supposed to mean may I ask?" I asked now a little calmer. The feeling of irritation sent prickles down my body. Draco rubbed his face in annoyance. Having enough of him, rage filling my body, I turned back to Pansy. "What did you want, Pansy?" I asked her one more time, growing impatient. She looked at Draco hesitantly, seeming to non-verbally ask what she should do. "Look at me, Pansy. Not him. What did you want to tell him?"
"I didn't want to tell him anything." Pansy said quietly, a heavy sigh from Draco followed. I looked at him, my stomach turning in anxiety. Why was he making a scene, why was he behaving that way?
"Then what did you want?" I asked, eyeing her strictly.
Draco glared at the floor, his jaw tight, the look of annoyance not leaving his face once. Pansy blinked a few times. Nervously, she eyed Draco.
In my head, things were beginning to make much more sense as I tried to find a logical answer for this chaotic situation. I began to realize, that maybe, Pansy wasn't telling me what she wanted to tell him, because she didn't come to talk in the first place.
"Why exactly is she here?" I asked one more time. A second later, not even wanting to wait long enough for any type of excuses, I stood up. Draco held my wrist once I wanted to walk past him.
"Don't leave." He told me calmly while I kept my eyes on the floor. Slowly lifting my chin, I noticed something that I had missed before. A strap was to be seen around one of Pansy's shoulders. The black fabric barely noticeable above the black top of hers. It lead to a bag swung behind her waist.
"Is that a bag, Pansy?" I asked her, narrowing my eyes in confusion. Draco's grip softened as he turned his head to look at her. Pansy looked down, trying to move it a bit behind her, apparently not wanting it to be on display.
"Y-yeah. It is."
I turned to Draco. "Did you invite her to stay over?" I asked.
"What?" He turned his head back to me.
I repeated my self a little slower. "Did you invite her to stay over?"
"I-" I was startled. "Not really, no. She asked me the other day cause apparently her and Daphne aren't on good terms, but-"
"That's not answering my question at all. Was she gonna stay over night or not, Draco?" I asked him, swallowing hard.
"Yes." Pansy answered.
I shook my head slowly, narrowing my eyes again. They burnt as I tried to hold in my tears. "And you were gonna let her sleep next to you in your bed? And not even tell me about it? You were gonna- you were gonna spend a night with Pansy without even-" I stopped myself before I could go any further and get emotional in front of him. "I can't believe you, Draco." I said above a whisper and before he could find any excuses or arguments, I stepped out.
————-
You can write an ending here if you want
Hope you liked it, I'm not that proud of it, but I didn't want to make you wait any longer, since it's been literally two months or so.
Anyway, have a good day, really hope you liked it!