/ A while later /
Afterwards they both agreed to take a shower. In their respective rooms of course.
Feliciano didn't feel like he could look anyone in the eye, knowing he had been railed by his boss who-also-happened-to-be-his-boyfriend. A shower would clear his conscience, even if it was just a little bit.
It wasn't classy he admitted, bundling his clothes in his arms, sprinting out the door and into the room he was supposed to be relaxing and packing out in.
But, it was worth it.
Feliciano hurriedly got dressed, finding a new pair of clothes to wear. While checking himself in the mirror he patted himself down, trying to style his hair, but there was always that one hair that didn't comply. Without caring too much, he left his room and knocked firmly on his door.
The beautifully wooden-carved door opened, revealing Ludwig who was dressed in fine clothing. A dark suit with a dark tie to match to be exact. His hair was slicked back to perfection.
Feliciano admired the blonde as he got himself ready. Despite seeing him dressed formally often, it was still a sight to behold.
--
"Hey, what type of person is Roderich?" Feliciano asked as they made their way to the lounge. Ludwig's pace was quick and determined, making his own pace quicker than he was used to.
"How to describe him huh.. Firstly he's very into classical music I guess" Ludwig said thoughtfully. "If he seems annoyed that's probably not your fault, his baseline is somewhat stressed" His face broke into a small smile.
Feliciano thought for a moment before speaking. "I wonder what drew Elizabeta to him" he chuckled. It was slightly embarrassing to think he worried about her liking Ludwig.
Despite everything, there was something bothering him ever since they arrived and left the bedrooms. It was like a tiny voice in the back of his head screaming at him, notice me, notice me, notice me! Feliciano wasn't able to pinpoint what was bothering him, or what the unnerving feeling was. To him, it was like an itch he couldn't scratch.
"Are you nervous?" Ludwig questioned, looking worriedly at Feliciano. "I appreciate peace and quiet, but it's not quite like you" His brows were furrowed together.
"Ah. No, I was just thinking of meeting Roderich. I feel like there is something I'm forgetting, but I'm probably just tired" he confessed, scratching off a scab in his neck. "He has an interesting name too"
"I.. guess?" was the last thing Ludwig said before they approached the stairs that would lead them down to the lounge.
Ludwig stopped for a brief moment before walking down. "If there is anything I can do, don't hesitate to tell me" His eyes were darker than usual, fitting to the serious tone in his voice. It was his way of showing worry.
"Thank you, really" Feliciano affirmed, looking him in his eyes. "Let's meet them!"
--
Feliciano opened the door that lead to the lounge, entering himself after Ludwig had gone in first. The wide and open room was old-fashioned and grandiose. In the corner of the room there was a big piano and on the walls were portraits of what he presumed to be family members from way back. It felt like they had traveled back to the previous century. It wouldn't have surprised him if nothing was changed from the time it was decorated.
After looking around the room, his gaze fell upon Elizabeta who was sitting in a faded, yellow couch. Her face was animated as she was laughing from something in her conversation. Her rosy cheeks complimented her long, beautiful wavy hair that laid over her shoulders and back. She wasn't the most feminine girl, but nobody would ever guess that if they saw her right now.
Ludwig cleared his throat before talking. "Good day Roderich, thank you for having us. I hope you haven't waited long" he greeted as he vaguely bowed towards the man in the other couch.
Feliciano's gaze trailed the direction, and he immediately froze.
He swore his childhood flashed before his eyes for a brief moment, because the man sitting opposite to Elizabeta was without a shadow of a doubt the man he worked for as a child.
Even though it had been over a decade, his appearance hadn't changed. The same hairstyle, the same glasses and even the clothes, only now he was older than last time.
To Feliciano's horror, the man in the sofa was looking right at him. He had probably seen him from the moment they entered the lounge.
He merely sighed.
"Nice to see you again Feliciano"
There was nothing in his body language that showed even the slightest shock.
Ludwig turned back too look at Feliciano, not sure what was happening himself. Feliciano's mouth dropped open and the only thing he was able to do was point vaguely at Roderich.
"I.... know him"
Confused, Ludwig looked back at Roderich, even more clueless than before. His head began ringing, but it was not unbearable. "Is there something I've missed?" he asked dryly.
"Your butler served me when he was young, it seems he remembers" Roderich supposed, shrugging as he said it. He picked up the teacup that was seated on the table in front of him. Elizabeta wasn't smiling anymore.
"Did you know..?" Ludwig asked Feliciano, who shook his head aggressively.
"The name sounded familiar but I didn't even consider...." he trailed off.
He knew he had felt like he was forgetting something, but never in a million years had he guess this. True enough it's a memorable name, but for all he knew several rich people in Austria could have that name. This was extremely awkward.
The atmosphere could almost to be felt. It could be sliced with a knife to say the least.
Ludwig had also picked up the drop in the mood. "I think I'm getting a headache, excuse me for sitting down" he uttered while rubbing his temples. The ringing in his head was increasing rapidly.
Feliciano tried his best to seem fine, but he was less than one second from a complete breakdown. If he wasn't feeling that way, he would have noticed the shaking of Ludwig's voice.
"Nice to meet you..." Feliciano said hesitantly. "Again..?"
"Don't act like you just saw a ghost. That's bad manners" Roderich sighed, bothered by the least important element of the day. Roderich turned towards Ludwig. "I had my suspicion's from the phone call we had. Although.." He looked expectantly at the two of them before shaking his head. "Welcome"
Feliciano was working his brain to the max, trying to figure out anything to say or how to comprehend. The intimidating man from his fragile childhood years was right in front of him. The same man who knew about his childhood friend, although calling it his first love was more accurate to say. Adrenaline rushed through his body. He was embarrassed to do this in front of everything, but the only thing on his mind was him.
After almost a decade of not knowing, he had to do this for his hurt inner child.
His heart rate was steadily increasing.
The adrenaline circulated his entire body, because he was getting ready to fight.
"I'm sorry for my rude introduction mas- uh, Roderich, but please, if you know anything can you tell me about the bo-"
Right as he started talking, Elizabeta hastily stood up from where she was sitting. The table was hit with a loud bang, as she accidentally slammed her knee into it in the process. Her face was slightly twisted in pain, but instead she put her hands around her stomach. "O-Oh isn't it time to have dinner soon? I'm really starving!"
"I think you're correct" Roderich agreed without any discussion. "Ludwig?" he followed up with a worried tone, to Feliciano's surprise. He turned to look at him.
Ludwig had his head in his hands, back hunched over in the chair he was seated in. Feliciano turned back to where he sat, bending down to get a better look. He was slightly sweating and his eyes were closed shut. It looked a lot like a night terror, although that was impossible as he was awake.
"Ludwig?" He shook him slightly. "Are you okay?" He tried to keep calm, but Ludwig didn't react nor respond.
Elizabeta and Roderich gave each other a glance before going over to where they were. She went over to Feliciano, gently holding him away from Ludwig. Roderich had by just a click summoned two butlers to help Ludwig leave the lounge. The usually tall, German man was now looking pale and out of it, walking away from the lot with staggering feet. The man he knew wasn't present.
Frantically he looked at Elizabeta. "Please, I don't understand anything" The tears were already streaming down his face. "He shouldn't have an attack now, he's not sleeping? Is he sick? Is it my fault?" Feliciano cried, clutching her arm as he did.
Elizabeta didn't say much, other than embracing him in a motherly fashion.
"It's hard to explain.. but this would happen sooner or later" was all she managed to say before Roderich came over, leaving the couch.
"This was unavoidable, but at least this happened before the brute came" Roderich said tiredly. "Who could've known his heart was still locked that tightly"
His statement made Feliciano look up at him. "Locked? His heart?" Feliciano asked confused.
"Well.."
A loud bang came from the lounge doors being swung open, and Gilbert came crashing in.
"Time to make this lovely meeting even better!" Gilbert proudly proclaimed as he slammed open the lounge doors. They could all see the poor butlers were struggling with his luggage in the background, not that it seemed like the man in front of them cared.
Gilbert quickly stopped his grandeur act as he laid eyes upon the lot. Feliciano was obviously upset, still embraced by Elizabeta, with Roderich standing tall behind them with a hand rubbing his eyes. Ludwig was nowhere to be seen.
"Hey, where is my brother?" he questioned. In case he checked behind him.
"Good day to you too" Roderich replied dryly. "You could use some brain cells and decipher why he isn't here. You came too late, if you wanted to see him"
His upbeat mood turned sour quickly. Feliciano caught eye contact with him right after, but it didn't last long.
Gilbert pointed at him. "Does Feliciano know?" he quickly asked the two of them.
Roderich and Elizabeta both shook their heads slightly.
"Fuck" he groaned, ruffling his own hair vigorously. "You seriously haven't understood yet? Do you even remember any of us?"
Feliciano's eyes widened as he wanted to counter what he said, but was distracted by Elizabeta pulling him closer.
"Shouldn't you worry about your brother firstly?" Roderich snapped back on Feliciano's behalf. He looked directly at Gilbert with cold, unwavering eyes. "He should be in his room, if you're that worried"
Elizabeta was rubbing his back slightly, as he tried his hardest to not sob again. He leaned softly into her touch.
Gilbert looked angrily at Roderich before turning around.
The doors slammed shut, and the lot were surrounded by an uncomfortable silence.
Roderich inhaled deeply before releasing a hefty sigh. "If only he could've stuck to the plan"
She looked up at him as he said it.
"There isn't anything we can do now.. this has gone on for too long already" Elizabeta said regretfully.
"It wouldn't have been like this if the two had some brain cells" Roderich replied unimpressed. He looked down at Feliciano. "Some things never change"
"Was that an insult??" Feliciano squeaked back. "I don't understand! I don't understand any of you right now. Not even Gilbert's comments towards me"
Elizabeta shot a glare at Roderich.
"And some of us can't be civil about certain matters. You're childish just like Gilbert sometimes, Roddy"
Her comment made him shake his head. "You're too old to call me that" Roderich scoffed. "Feliciano, you're trying to find out what happened to your 'friend'" His hands gestured at the term.
Feliciano looked nervously at him. "How could you know? I didn't even get that far". He wasn't one to get upset, but anger was welling up inside of him, it felt like an insufferable itch.
"Everybody else understands except you. You're especially inconsiderate of Ludwig" Roderich replied coldly, his patience wearing thin.
"Roderich-" Elizabeta warned.
"Don't stop him Elizabeta. How can you even say that?" Feliciano snapped back.
He stood up in anger before walking right into Roderich's personal space.
Feliciano wanted to stand face to face, because this time he wasn't looking up at him as he did when he was a child. Now he could look his old master into his eyes. Anger from his statement was coursing through his body.
"Now listen-"
His words were beginning to spill at a rapid rate, leaving no room for anyone to budge in or even stop him.
"Explain, what does my situation with someone I dearly cared about as a child make me inconsiderate? Ludwig didn't need to help me, but he never even stuttered when it came down to it. He's the only person who supported me, never making me feel stupid or ridiculous. Not even my own fucking family was there to support me. I might be a cry-baby and I might be weak, but I'm tired of not knowing. I actually care about what happened to him. Is that so fucking wrong?"
Roderich looked at him during the whole tirade, never stopping him and never looking away.
He was unfazed.
"Explain one thing to me" Roderich began. Feliciano shivered. "How would you describe his appearance?"
"What does this-"
"Answer"
Feliciano took a look at Elizabeta, she nodded back before he began.
"He was around my height, blonde and with the eye color of a blue sky"
Roderich analyzed him, as if he looked for any signs or clues, before he continued.
"Okay.. do you recall his personality?"
"He was timid, shy and very logical.. or that was my impression in hindsight" Feliciano answered, unsure as to where he was going with the questions.
"You remember a lot, so why don't you even remember his name?" This question sounded genuine.
"I don't think he ever told me" Feliciano answered a bit embarrassed, scratching a sore spot in his neck. "He gave me the nickname Italy, due to my heritage. He called himself The Holy Roman Empire, as he was very into world history"
"That's ridiculous" Roderich replied. Elizabeta released a puff of air.
"What's so funny?"
"Have you described him to anyone?" Roderich said as he continued to press for answers.
The question was the dumbest to Feliciano so far. Of course he had.
"My family knows about him.. I mean they tried to help me for a short period to find him by my description, So yeah?"
"Have you told anyone about Ludwig?"
"Yeah?"
"So..?"
Feliciano took a moment to think, before it dawned upon him.
"Actually.." he said in slight understanding. "My brother yelled at me once, thinking I was describing the boy, although I was describing Ludwig" His cheeks felt flushed.
"So...?" Elizabeta shot in, unable to stay silent this time. Her hand gestured for him to continue.
"I told him it was unrelated" he shrugged.
"Why?" Elizabeta fired the next question immediately.
"Well.. that's because they're similar but they're not the same person. Ludwig hasn't said anything about recognizing me, and I didn't see the similarities before I thought long and hard about it"
Both of them groaned after his explanation, and after that his strongest emotion without a doubt was embarrassment now.
"It's like you're trying to convince me Ludwig IS him" Feliciano said dumbfounded.
"Feliciano.... Ludwig is the boy you met as a child" Elizabeta confirmed, trying to get it seriously across.
"Wait- no"
"We're not joking around"
"H-How.. I-I would've known. If he was him I would know" he stressed back, there was no way.
"Feliciano.." Elizabeta said calmly. "You don't even remember me or Gilbert"
Panic struck him.
"Of course not, because I don't know either of you-"
"Feliciano." she said, gripping both his arms. "We remember you"
It was all becoming too much too fast. First everyone was blaming him for something he didn't know, and now they're trying to sell the fact that Ludwig was the child from his childhood, and that they all remembered him. All the information became a messy blur inside his head.
The only thing coursing through his mind was Ludwig. He wanted Ludwig here. His comfort, his voice, because with him it was safe.
Feliciano began backing up, feeling every inch of him wanting to run away. All Elizabeta and Roderich did was watch him. They stood next to each other, Elizabeta adorning a sad look with Roderich looking downcast. His body language told him "I'll take care of her, go" and so he did.
He ran as fast as he could out of there, the only thing in his mind was Ludwig.
Even if that was the truth, he had to talk to Ludwig himself. Because right now, it felt like a sick joke and he was the only one who wasn't in on it.
Only Ludwig could convince him.
If he could remember the past, he would try to believe it.
The moment he turned the corridor, he laid eyes upon the figure standing outside his door.
Gilbert looked straight at him, making his way over after they established eye contact.
His pulse was going haywire, but he had to have a serious talk with Gilbert.
"It's fine.. It's fine" Feliciano said to himself, trying his hardest to believe it.
----------
We did it......... almost
Things are nearing! I've always had some sort of plan, but I always see it as I go. Simultaneously I'm writing my bachelor's (I'm old I know I know-) so uh... yeah. The long time between is due to that. It's a bit awkward I agree. Anyhow-
If you're reading this, I'm so thankful and thank you for reading this far.
As always, I hope to see you in the next chapter. Thanks for the support! <3