Harry
"Annika, can you come here please?" I ask, keeping my tone light. She left a mess in the living room with her toys and we're still working on cleaning up. I'll admit though, I do let her off the hook with it most of the time which is why she's four and leaves messes everywhere.
I smile at her when her little legs run into the room, "Yes daddy?" My smile widens when I see her all dressed up in one of her fairy dress up costumes. She even has a little floral crown sitting atop her wild curls.
"Petal, we can't forget to clean up our messes when we want to play with something else. Now, I'll help you this time, but next time you have to try and remember." I explain gently, and she nods her little head.
"Okay daddy! Then can we play fairies?" Naturally, she gives me her famous puppy eyes, even though she never has to.
"I'd love to play fairies with you. Oakley would too, I'm sure. Let's clean up and then she should be up from her nap."
Together, Annika and I start to clean up the toys one by one and put them in the basket they're usually kept in. The entire time, my sweet petal tells me all about what color wings I'm going to have this time and all the powers I have. She has the wildest imagination and is always coming up with something new for us to do.
I'm glad I have the girls through this time. They've kept me busy enough where I can kind of forget about everything that happened with Devon for the day. Sometimes I just pretend it's just another day where we're both just busy, but at night I'm always confronted by the fact that I screwed everything up. She was so amazing and I blew it.
Mitch had a big 'I told you so' moment when he found out that Devon dumped me. I can't even be mad at him for trying to get Dev to leave me. Yeah, she made me so happy, but I wasn't honest. I deserved everything that came after she found out.
I smile softly, watching my daughter play with some of the toys she should be putting away. I lean back on my palm, tilting my head to the side slightly. I wish I told Devon about them from the beginning. I wish things worked with her because she would just be the most amazing role model for the girls. All I want is for them to be strong, beautiful, confident women. Just like Devon is.
My smile grows as Annika looks at me and giggles. She runs the little distance separating us, wrapping her little arms around my neck in a hug. I wrap my free arm around her little body, holding her close as she gives me a little kiss. "You're the sweetest, petal. Do you know just how much I love you?"
She giggles more, shaking her head and her curls go flying. "No daddy, how much?" Of course, this is a game we always play together multiple times a day. I do this with Oakley too, but she's too little to understand still.
"I love you bigger than the dinosaurs!" I grin at her, pushing some hair out of her face. She squeals at that answer, hugging me all over again.
"I love you bigger than giraffes!" She replies, and I just fall in love with her all over again. My sweet little girl who thinks the giraffe is the biggest thing in the world.
I pretend to think for a minute, just wanting to draw more giggles out of her since it's my favorite thing in the world. "I love you bigger than... the sky!" I lay back, chuckling and holding her above me to make her fly. She laughs, a look of pure joy on her face.
"I love you bigger than that!" She manages to get out between her giggles, and I pull her into my chest to kiss her cheek a bunch of times.
"That's so much love, Petal! I can't believe it." The end of my words comes out distorted since she squishes my cheeks together so she could give me another kiss. When she lets go of my cheeks, I smile, "Ready to go wake up Oakie and go play fairies?"
She nods quickly and we get up, walking hand in hand up to Oakley's room to get her up from her nap. I let Annika run in first, smiling as I see her skip up to her sister's crib and hold onto the bars.
"Oakie... Wake up, we're gonna go play fairies!" She whispers, before starting to climb up into the crib. I watch from the doorframe with a smile, tilting my head slightly. Anni crouches down next to her sister, continuing to tell her all about the fairy game.
I pull my phone out of the pocket of my joggers, checking to see if Devon texted me back. I know I shouldn't have bothered her, but the loneliness crept up really bad this morning and I just needed to tell her that I miss her. She's probably never going to respond, but hopefully she reads it before she deletes it.
I just hope she's doing okay. It kills me to know that I hurt her so badly, and I wish there was something I could do to make it up to her, but for now all she wants is space and to not see me. So that's what I'll do.
Oakley starts to stir, waking up from her nap. She always gets really clingy after a nap, so I'm usually left holding her for at least thirty minutes right after. I slip my phone back into my pocket and head over to the crib, smiling at Oakley and her crazy bed head. These girls have such curly hair, but I love it so much.
Picking Oakley up from her crib, she immediately rests her head on my shoulder, keeping her binky in her mouth. "Did you have a nice nap, Oakie?" She rubs her eyes and nods, rubbing my back with her other hand to comfort herself.
"Oakie! We're gonna play fairies! I'm gonna be the animal fairy, you're gonna be the flower fairy and daddy's gonna be the protector fairy! Okay! And I'm gonna have the pink wings because those ones are my favorites so you can have the purple ones." Annika delegates. She's always very strict when it comes to playing fairies.
"Which color wings do I get, blossom?" I rub Oakley's back gently, resting my cheek against her head.
Annika puts her finger to her chin, tapping a few times as she thinks. "You can get the yellow ones. And you can have my pink crown." She already has her white crown on, so it makes sense that she's letting me use the pink one.
"Sounds perfect. Let's go dress up then and head outside to play."
I stand by the crib as Anni climbs out, just to make sure she doesn't fall and hurt herself. She's gotten really good at this though, so I know she's good. I always find her giggling with Oakley in the morning since she likes sneaking in to play with her sister. Pretty soon she'll have Oakley climbing in and out too.
In Annika's room we all get on our fairy gear and I smile as Oakley places the pink flower crown on the top of my head. I'd do absolutely anything for these girls, even dress up in whatever they want me to. As long as it makes them smile and laugh.
"Okay, wildflowers! To the yard!" I cheer, leading the way with Oakley to the backyard.
I've put a lot of work into this yard over the years. It's not too big, just enough room for us to run around in, but there's no pool or anything. It's perfect for the three of us though. Pretty early on with Annika, she began to love flowers. Probably because her nursery was flower themed, but she's been obsessed with flowers and nature for her entire life.
There's a little side nook in the yard where there's a gate for guests to come in and out if we're having a barbeque. And over the years, I just started growing a flower garden along that pathway so that Anni could have her flowers. I must say, this flower garden is pretty nice. The girls just love getting to play fairies there since butterflies and bumblebees tend to gravitate toward that area of the yard. Once a week we come out here to make a nice bouquet for the house and I'm currently trying to learn how to make my own flower crowns so that the girls can have special ones made from their garden.
It's funny how having daughters gave me a new hobby. Mitch always teases me about my gardening, but he knows I have greatly improved on my ability to tattoo flowers. A few months after Oakley was born I did my wildflower tattoo, and I also got a tattoo of two roses done on the side of my neck. I drew it, but Mitch is the one who actually did the tattoo.
Flowers just remind me of my gorgeous wildflowers. They remind me of Devon too.
Usually I don't do tattoos like the one I gave her on clients. But the second I saw her I thought she was just gorgeous. And when she explained what it meant to her, how could I not do that tattoo for her? She has a special connection to flower gardens, just like I do.
Annika, Oakley and I spend the rest of the day playing in the flower garden. I can't stop myself from taking pictures and videos of them here and there, wanting to remember their little smiles and giggles forever. They'll never be this little again and I don't want to miss a second of their lives.
As I'm taking pictures of Annika and Oakley laying on the ground on their bellies, looking at a caterpillar they found on a stone, my phone switches to an incoming call. And it takes my breath away.
I try to recollect myself as I pick up, but my heart is pounding out of my chest. "Hello?"
"Um, hey..." Devon sounds unsure, surprised that I even picked up. Maybe I picked up too fast.
"Hey. H-How are you?" I turn to focus on the chrysanthemums.
It's quiet on the other line, and I'm almost scared she hung up, but she sighs. "Um, I'm okay. How about you? And the girls?"
Something about her asking about the girls makes my heart soar. "I'm okay too, and the girls are doing good. We're playing fairies, so, they keep me busy." I don't know why I told her that, but I just want to be honest with her.
"Fairies?" I could almost hear the smile in her voice, and it brings a smile to mine.
"Yep. Pink flowers, yellow wings. Talking to the butterflies. The real deal. It's my job to keep the gnomes away."
Now she giggles, and I smile, knowing that I was successful in making her laugh. Maybe there's still a chance for us. I hope there is. "Sounds like serious business."
"It is. Annika is currently talking to the caterpillar king to get information on where the gnomes are hiding. I think we're getting a good lead though."
"Well I hope you guys can figure out your gnome situation. I'm sure it's very serious."
"Oh, those gnomes have been terrorizing us for weeks." I smile, picking out one of the flowers. "Why'd you call?" I ask, biting my lip.
She's quiet again, and I anxiously twirl the stem of the flower between my fingers. "I got your text and I... I guess I just wanted to hear your voice. I miss you too."
Relief floods over me at her words. She misses me too. The window of opportunity is still cracked open ever so slightly. Maybe we could fix things. I would do anything I could to prove to Devon that I would never lie to her again or keep something this big. All my cards are on the table now, and I just need her to see that I want to try again.
"I'm sorry if it made you feel uncomfortable, I didn't think you would read it, honestly. I wouldn't have blamed you if you deleted it right away. But I meant every word."
Devon was the best. All my other relationships, even with the girls' mum, were all just about sex and what I could or couldn't do for them. And then I met Dev and she just changed everything. She cared about me, so fucking deeply and I know I destroyed her when she found out about the girls. She didn't deserve that after she gave me every last drop of affection that she could.
"Harry... I just need more time. This is a lot to think about and I just don't know if things would ever be the same."
"Dev, you don't have to explain yourself to me. If you never want to see me again, I would respect that. And if you wanted to try again, I would like that too. Just know that I'm going to be one hundred percent honest this time around if you do want to try again, and that I would understand either way. I want you to be happy and sure about what you want to do."
I know that this is a lot higher stakes for her now. Kids are involved and some girls just don't want that kind of commitment with a guy they just met. I wouldn't blame her if she didn't want to be with me because of the girls. She didn't ask to be a stepmum and I'm not going to expect her to raise the girls or be that role for them if we do date. They are my responsibility first and foremost.
"Um, can we meet maybe? Whenever's best for you, but I think we should talk about things in person and maybe lay out some rules?"
I stop twirling the flower between my fingers, smiling a bit to myself. "Yeah, we could meet in person. How's your apartment at like eight on wednesday? My mum is gonna have the girls and I should be done at the shop by then."
"Yeah, that sounds good. Maybe we could order some food if things go well or something."
"I'd like that." I smile, and the line is quiet for a second. It feels really nice getting to talk to Devon again. "You're sure you're doing okay?"
"I'm doing okay." She says, and again, I could just hear her smile. I can't wait to see it again. My pretty girl. "Now go get your information from the caterpillar king. You've got serious business to handle with those gnomes it sounds like."
Another smile forms on my lips, and I look down at my feet. "Of course. I'll talk to you before Wednesday for sure." We say a sweet goodbye before I put my phone in my pocket, sighing in relief that we're going to try to fix this.
"Daddy! Was that the gnome king?" Annika yells over to me, and her sweet green eyes are wide with anticipation.
I head over, tucking the chrysanthemum behind Oakley's ear since she's the flower fairy. "No, that was my fairy friend. She was telling me about how she was talking to the bunny prince before and he told her that the gnomes like to hide near the daisies." I tell her, getting down onto the ground with them, being careful of the caterpillar king.
"What's her power?" Annika asks. Oakley tries to copy her question, but it just comes out in gibberish since she's still pretty little. But she's getting great at talking.
"Oh she's a happiness fairy." I come up with, smiling at my sweet girl.
"I like happiness fairies."
"Me too, petal."
***
The sweetest girls in the universe ugh. And dev really is the happiness fairy.
Please don't forget to vote and comment!
gab <3