Connor tried not to fidget as Hank sat down opposite him, wanting to take out his coin to give himself something to do, but restraining himself, because he didn't need to add to the evidence and incriminate himself any further.
Hank's patience shattered into pieces after precisely 53 seconds.
"I know something is fucking going on with you, Connor, so either you tell me now or I swear I'm going to find out myself sooner or later."
Connor looked to Sumo, who had padded on to lazily lie down next to the table, wishing they could switch places. His processor tried to calculate the best solution for the situation, tried to find what to say that would convince Hank that nothing was going on, but came up with nothing that had a good success rate.
Connor decides to stick to the truth as close as possible, hoping it'll be enough to satisfy Hank.
"My software has experienced some errors and malfunctions for a bit over a week now." His voice was flat, analytical, the way he sounded when he gave a status report. He tried not to feel bad about the worry that marred Hank's face.
"Shit. Why didn't you say anything? Do you need to go to CyberLife or somewhere to, I don't know, get it fixed?"
The idea of going back to CyberLife, of letting them back into his software, not knowing what they might manipulate or change made Connor almost switch into emergency mode and he could feel his hands shaking.
Motoric_reflexes_error_detected
Processing...
Recalibration_advised
Stress_level_37%
Hank must have noticed, because his face darkened and he growled, "I'll make sure those fuckers won't do anything to you."
"No, Hank, it's nothing serious," Connor frowned, unsure how to word his sentence. "I– they're normal-," Hank raised a disbelieving brow at that, gaze still pinned on Connor and Connor found it difficult to get his thoughts into order.
Software_instability_detected
Thirium_pump_error_detected
"It's because I'm not bound to my primary programming anymore, but at the same time I'm still bound to my system and my body is reacting in ways my system doesn't know how to catalogue, so it files it as errors or malfunctions."
"But Connor, your reactions are fucking extreme." The frown was back on Hank's face, likely trying to understand what precisely could evoke such strong reactions from the usually so restrained android.
Stress_level_42%
Connor's hands fiddled with the hem of his shirt, needing some sort of anchor and focus point, so he could try and get his system to calm down a bit. It wasn't working.
He'd rather pet Sumo, something about the repeated motion surprisingly soothing, but the big hound was so far away.
Hank considered him for a few more moments, eyes roaming over Connor's face, looking for clues that would help him figure out this puzzle.
"Is something stressing you?" Hank sounded genuinely concerned now. "Geez, why won't you talk to me? I know becoming a deviant has been fucking hard for you. Hell, it's hard for us humans to fuckin' function on a day-to-day basis, look at me," Hank laughed humourlessly. "I can't imagine how difficult this shit must be for you."
Software_instability_detected
"I didn't experience any increased stress levels," Connor noted he had switched to his formal speech patterns and opted for a more informal approach, "I'm fine, Hank, honestly." Hank snorted, obviously not believing anything Connor had just said.
"It's just – this is all so new to me. I'm not used to – feeling so much. That is likely the reason I'm reacting so strongly. It's not that I'm stressed, it would probably be more accurate to say that I'm more sensitive to some stimuli."
"You saying you're a delicate fuckin' flower?" Hank grinned, but Connor didn't need his analytical software to notice that the skin at the corner of Hank's eyes didn't crinkle like it usually did.
"But you never reacted so god damn sensitive to anything since you started living with me, Connor. Just spill the damn beans already, before all this worrying gives me a fuckin' heart attack."
System_task_priority01_do_not_make_hank_worry_failed
Software_instability_detected
Thirium_pump_error_detected
Stress_level_59%
Connor was sure that this was what it felt like to be at the receiving end of an interrogation and he decided that he didn't like the feeling of impending doom that hung over him, waiting to descend as soon as he uttered something wrong.
Hank watched him as if he expected Connor to bolt any second now. And that was precisely what Connor wanted to do, his fight or flight calculator agreeing with him.
Stress_level_64%
"Something happened in the last week or so and I'll be fuckin' damned if I'll continue to watch you trying to hide whatever it is that's bothering you." Connor was certain his face could now be used as a visual for the phrase 'deer caught in headlights'.
"So, you wanna tell me what caused your first malfunction?"
"I – appear unable to recall." Hank looked unimpressed with Connor's reply.
"You know, even without that damn light merrily blinking away, you're a shitty liar. Ought to complain about that to your maker really." The hurt was plain on Hank's face, although he tried to hide it.
"I –," Connor didn't know what to say, didn't know what to do to make the hurt on Hank's face go away, didn't know what to do to not ruin the only thing that made him realize what it felt like to be happy.
Stress_level_71%
"Hank, please –", was all Connor could think to choke out, his vocal modules apparently having joined the ranks of error messages without Connor's notice. Judging by the expression on Hank's face, it was apparently the wrong thing to say.
Hank dragged a hand over his face, looking utterly exhausted all of a sudden.
"Shit, Connor, please don't tell me I'm the reason you're so on edge lately. Why else wouldn't you fuckin' tell me-" Hank's voice sounded raw and dread slowly spread across his face.
System_task_priority01_make_hank_happy_failed
Stress_level_78%
"No, Hank, you're not the reason." Connor realized his mistake the moment the lie left his artificial lips. Hank muttered some obscenities as his eyes flicked between Connor's face and the LED on his temple – both no doubt unmistakably telling him that Connor had just lied to his face once again – before he stumbled to his feet.
Software_instability_detected
Thirium_pump_error_detected
Connor shot up from his chair as well, almost toppling it over in the process, as he hastened to where Hank was making his way towards the door, no doubt planning to go to Jimmy's and drown himself in his poison of choice.
"Hank, please wait!" Panic colours Connor's voice and he feels as helpless and afraid as the time he felt the blond android die on the rooftop.
He grabbed Hank's wrist, not willing to let the man walk out, thinking that he was someone that made Connor feel uneasy.
Hank halted, obviously unwilling by how tense he was.
"Look, kid, you can just tell me that you're sick of my shitty company and I'll find some other place for you, I won't hold it against you, fuck –" Hank laughed out a broken sound, and if Connor's thirium pump could break it surely would've in this moment "I'm surprised you even stayed this long."
Stress_level_88%
Software_instability_detected
Thirium_pump_error_detected
Connor let out a noise that was caught somewhere between pain and frustration as a tugged on Hank's wrist to get the man away from the door, but Hank wouldn't budge.
"That's not it, Hank, you've misunderstood!"
"Dammit, Connor! What am I supposed to think when you won't fuckin' spit it out! You're obviously stressed because of me!" Hank yanked his hand free and started to pace in the living room.
"It's not that I don't like you company anymore, Hank, you're the person I feel most content with," Connor began haltingly, hesitant to speak the truth even though this is so much worse.
"It's that you make me feel too much. Sometimes so much that my software is unable to handle it And I – I don't know what to do." At some point during Connor's revelation, Hank had stopped pacing and frozen on the spot, staring at Connor as if he was something unbelievable.
His processor was still providing him with various possibilities of negative outcomes to the whole situation, only slowing down its torment when his cameras focused on Hank's reddening face. It began to recalculate, and as it did his software stopped his pre-emergency mode.
Stress_level_47%
Hank coughed awkwardly, half covering his face with a hand in an unsuccessful attempt to hide his flushed skin. Connor didn't know if his skin would be deathly pale or flushed as well, had his maker programmed him with the ability.
"Jesus fuckin' Christ, Connor," Hank began, "do you have any idea how that sounds?"
Connor's throat felt constrained, even though none of the components should be capable of eliciting such a feeling.
"I know."
Hank offered a few more swear words as he hesitantly stepped closer. They were in the middle of the living room and Sumo watched them lazily from the kitchen.
"But you never gave much of a fuckin' reaction before, I thought you had no interest or something..."
"I hadn't realized before –" Connor snapped his mouth shut, his database not needing to inform him that touching someone without their knowledge was not good.
Hank walked closer, stopping at arm's length and shook his head when Connor refused to continue. Instead of trying to force an answer from Connor he placed a hand on Connor's cheek and his software freaked out once more.
Temperature_sensitivity_error_detected
Tactile_sensitivity_error_detected
Thirium_pump_error_detected
Motoric_reflexes_error_detected
Processing...
Recalibration_advised
Stress_level_19%
Processor_speed_decrease
Processing....
Shutting_down_tertiary _and_quaternary_background_tasks
Connor leaned his head into the touch, his eyes fluttering closed without his consent from the onslaught of information. His sensors latch onto the feeling of Hank's hand, processor noting the pressure, heat and texture, but Connor didn't care about his software's analysis. All he wanted to focus on was the gentle hand, the thumb that now caressed his cheek with tiny half-circle motions and the proximity to Hank.
Some sound seemed to be lodged in his throat, but Connor ignored it, instead stumbling over the empty space that separates them. He lifts his own hand and places it on Hank's face, mirroring him.
"That's how I knew."
"What?" Hank seemed lost as to what Connor wanted to convey, so he clarified, deeming it safe to tell.
"When I carried you to bed eight days ago I–," It felt more difficult than expected to say what he wanted while looking Hank in the eye, so instead he opted for staring at Hank's lips, which resulted in a rapid drop in his RAM working speed. "I felt an irrational urge to touch your face and I acted on it. Then it all just clicked into place."
"You were fucking groping me?" Hank let out a surprised chuckle, but gave Connor no chance to reply as he dragged him into a kiss.
Connor was instantly blindsided by a wave of input and information. The scratch of Hank's beard against his face, Hank's nose bumping into his own, Hank's slightly chapped lips, Hank's hand moving to the back of his head, fingers sinking into his hair, a hot and wet tongue that licked against the seam of Connor's lips. Connor opened his mouth and Hank's tongue licked its way in.
A noise escaped Connor's throat he couldn't recognize as one he could make. He let his mind sink into the sea of information and sensory input as he moved his hand to Hank's shoulder, needing to steady himself as Hank's tongue connected with his own. The component instantly began to execute its primary function and analysed every single bit of data about Hank it could acquire. The sodium, potassium, calcium, magnesium, chloride, bicarbonate, phosphate and iodine levels of the electrolytes in Hank's saliva.
Processor_speed_decrease
Processing....
Shutting_down_all_tasks_except_primary
Connor was too busy trying to keep himself upright and mimic the way Hank kissed him to pay any attention to the details, his RAM hopelessly overloaded as it was and his processor having slowed down to a crawl. He felt his artificial muscles constrict with shivers as hands explored his back and dipped below his shirt. Connor shook as nails scratched whisper soft down his spine and across the small of his back and Connor felt the motoric functions in his legs stop working as new error messages appeared.
When Connor opened his eyes, they were on the floor, still kissing, Hank's panting breath hot on his face as he pulled back a bit. Connor just blinked, focus switching between looking at Hank's eyes, roaming his face and inevitably returning to shining lips.
"You were not kidding about your software being fuckin' sensitive." Hank laughed breathlessly and Connor opted for kissing Hank again instead of answering as his vocal functions were currently rebooting.
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Notes:
this is the end of the first story of the 5y5t3m_t4sk_pr10r1ty01 series