A year and a half later, 3 BBY
———
I woke up in Thrawn's quarters, and sighed when I saw it was only 0515. My squad had returned from a mission late last night; we'd been gone for eight days, so we wouldn't be meeting this morning. They'd earned a day off. Apparently, I wouldn't be sleeping in, however. Rubbing my eyes, I tried to recall the dream I'd been having. I was fairly sure Obi-wan Kenobi had been in it, but that was it. I remembered nothing else. Typical.
I started brewing some caf and walked to his front room to peek at his books again. I picked one, then poured my caf and washed my hands really well. I curled up into one of the soft blue-green couches, pulling the Chiss book carefully onto my lap over a white blanket. Obviously, I couldn't read it. But I tried.
The book was ancient, wrapped in exquisite leather of some sort, the pages darkened from time. I did my best to touch it as little as possible. After a while, I noticed some repeating words, and decided they had something to do with the Chiss government. I tried to cross reference some of them, but found nothing.
When Thrawn walked in over an hour later, he looked at me curiously. He was sweaty, clearly he'd been training. I wondered if he was on duty today. Probably not, since he'd worked out for longer than usual.
I read a sentence to him. He gave me a little smile, probably at my poor pronunciation. He repeated the sentence in Cheunh. It sounded beautiful from his mouth, and I had to resist the urge to physically melt back into the couch at the sound. Then, he repeated it in Basic. Somehow, it still sounded sexy.
"The eleven ruling families showed their discontentment with the Syndicure by creating the Circle of Unity, where the patriarchs would meet in secrecy."
I looked back at the sentence. "So this word means Syndicure? I've noticed it a lot."
He sat on the couch next to me and peered at the book. "Yes. This phrase says eleven ruling families," I looked at where he was pointing. Yes, I'd read the word for families a lot as well.
"Could you count to ten for me?" I asked, my unfocused gaze drifting toward the paintings on the wall. He counted, and I smiled. I enjoyed his language, at least from his lips. I tried to repeat them, and he said them again. My second round, I felt much more confident, though it wasn't perfect. I realized it might be the first time he's heard a human count in his own language.
"Would you like to learn Cheunh?" I scrunched my face in thought. I hadn't learned a language since I was a teenager.
"I think I'd like to learn some, yes," I said, finally looking at him. He smiled, and I saw his eyes flash a bit of pride. He was happy I wanted to learn his language, and for some reason, I was happy to make him happy.
"I will create a file on some of the basics, as well as bureaucratic terms." I nodded. Exactly what I would start with during my schooling. A princess didn't need to know every word of every language, but one could try.
I closed the book and set it gently on the table in front of us.
"Thrawn, what do you know about the orbital battle station?" His eyebrows lifted.
"I understand it is a bit of a passion project of Tarkin and Director Krennic. Personally, I find it to be a waste."
"Yeah, I got that much. I agree that your Defender plans will be better for the Empire in the long run if they're approved. But, Thrawn, I've done research. This battle station is draining the Empire of resources. How could that be?" He eyed me closely for a moment.
"Would you like me to look into it further?" he finally asked.
I shrugged, trying to look nonchalant. Would he really be willing to find information on it, and give it to me? It is way above my clearance level. "I don't know. There's just something... off, about the whole project."
He nodded thoughtfully. "I agree." He continued to stare at me for a while, and I flashed him a sweet smile.
"Do you like me?" He gave me a look that said he was confused by the question, but dutifully answered.
"I do," he said almost cautiously. I shifted until I was straddling him.
"Really?" I asked, enjoying his perplexed reaction.
He squinted his eyes at me. "Yes," he said, and I laughed, wrapping my arms around his neck, meeting his gaze.
"Why?" I probed, still playing with him. Such a serious man.
To my amusement, his face scrunched together in thought. "Because, you're an excellent warrior, and leader-"
I cut him off, mock offended. "That's it?" I hadn't really expected him to answer.
He looked at me sternly, probably mentally scolding me for interrupting. The look sent chills down my spine and heat to my belly.
His hand reached up and stroked my cheek. "I also find you to be quite beautiful, despite being a human." I laughed, smacking his chest lightly. The heat spread lower.
"For a human?"
He shrugged. "I'd never found one attractive until you boarded my ship." I rolled my eyes. Despite myself, I liked when he sweet talked me.
"Oh yes, my Imperial garb is what got you, wasn't it?" He gave me a small smile.
"You weren't in uniform. You're never in uniform. Actually, your hair caught my attention first."
I chuckled, and gave him a skeptical look. "My hair?"
"Imperial regulations require you to wear it in pinned back braids. Yet, you wear it in various buns most of the time. I've only seen you wear breads a handful of times."
I grinned at him. "Tarkin told me once that if I wasn't such an excellent agent, he'd make me cut my hair. After that, I never wore braids in front of him again. He never commented further, so neither did his officers. And I note, neither do you." It was true. Tarkin wanted me to cut my hair, and one day, he said he wished he could do it himself. So I'd made a point to stand out even further, and for some reason, he never mentioned it again. Maybe he just hated braids, I don't know.
"Interesting." He paused. "You also have an almost regal air to you. It reminds me of my people. The Chiss are..." he thought for a moment.
"Stuck up?" I asked jokingly. At first, he looked surprised. Then he looked thoughtful again. I tried to shove my instinctual reaction to his words back down, relaxing. Regal.
"I was going to say noble or proud, but, you aren't completely wrong."
"Well, I just think you're hot," I said with a little giggle. His regal comment was really throwing me off, and I no longer wanted him to analyze me.
"Hot?" he asked, slightly confused. I dropped my forehead to his chest and laughed.
"Attractive," I finally told him when I'd settled down. One of his eyebrows raised.
"Really?" Gods, I loved when he said that word, his lips wrapping around the second syllable like silk. "And, you thought that when you first saw me?"
I scrunched my face up and looked at the ceiling. I couldn't remember, but I didn't think it was my first reaction.
"I don't recall that being one of my first thoughts, no." But, I was meeting an enemy, after all.
"No?" he asked.
I gave him a hazy look and traced a finger across his lips. My mouth opened slightly as I watched the skin on his lips give slightly to my touch. Then, I met his eyes.
"I'm hungry," I said. He blinked, surprised. I did want to fuck him. But I also really enjoyed his cooking.
"I suppose I should feed you then," he said, his voice light, as he stood up, gently placing me on my feet.
I smiled up at him. Then my eyes drifted to his hair, the roots were still slightly wet from his sweat. "You should shower first. Just tell me how I can get breakfast started while you do."
He cocked his head at me. I've never out right said I couldn't cook, but by the look on his face, he knew I couldn't. I felt my cheeks grow warm, but he seemed to be thinking.
Nodding slowly, he said, "okay. Cut a pepper and an onion into tiny pieces," I held up a hand.
"How small?" Tiny was a loose term...
"Four centimeters cubed," he said after a moment of thought. I nodded. "Peel the onion's skin off, and wash the pepper first. Also, remove the seeds. In a jar in the conservator is spinach in water. Take half of it, wash it, cut off the bottom, and chop into one by two inch pieces. None of it has to be perfect."
"Okay," I said, feeling confident. None of that sounded too hard.
I was wrong. So wrong.
Peeling the onion was messy, little pieces flying everywhere, covering his pristine kitchen. I knew onions made people cry, but I hadn't expected it to burn quite so badly. By the time I was done with the onion, I looked at the greenish red pepper with suspicion. I washed it, then sliced it in half.
Seeds went everywhere, mixing with the onion, falling off the cutting board. I took a deep breath, and focused on picking out all the seeds. I was about half way done, and was currently picking them out of the cut up onions when Thrawn walked in. I looked up at him, exasperated. His eyes flicked around the kitchen and over me before he cracked a smile. I gave him an annoyed look and continued my pepper seed hunt.
He didn't speak as he walked over and reached into the conservator, removing a glass jar with some water at the bottom. His bare arm brushed mine, sending more goosebumps up my arm. The man was electric.
By the time he was done with the spinach, I'd thrown away every single seed.
"You can cut the pepper," I mumbled defeatedly, walking over to the booth and plopping down. He chuckled and moved to start chopping it. I watched for a moment, amazed by his speed. It was in perfect pieces in less than a minute.
"How is it possible that I can kill a man in a second, but I can't chop veggies?" I asked, only half joking.
"It is like most things, it requires practice," he said, his body moving fluidly around the kitchen. The comment reminded me of the first time I attempted a backflip, and I giggled at the memory. He glanced up at me for a moment before returning his gaze to his task.
"What is funny?"
"I was remembering the first time I tried to do a backflip. I failed tremendously," I said, reminiscing.
"I think I would have liked to have seen that," he said, a smile playing on his lips.
"Don't worry, I didn't even fall. My team apparently thinks it is their duty to protect me, even from the ground."
"Is it not?" he asked, looking up at me. I cocked my head at him.
"I mean, we protect each other out of loyalty, not duty."
He looked thoughtful for a moment. Finally, he nodded, then continued cooking, light steam in front of him and sizzling in the background.
When he finished, and I took my first bite, I made a pleased sound.
"Those chopped onions are really making the dish," I said jokingly.
———
My comm chimed later that day, close to dinner time. I was in my office, reading reports on random Imperial activities over the past week, documenting my own for the Alliance.
"Lilya," I said.
"Hey, wanna come play cards?" Darro's voice came over the comm.
"Hmm. What're we drinking?"
He chuckled into the comm, and I heard someone talking behind him. "We're drinking whiskey. But I got something for you, boss." I raised my eyebrow, usually only Kandria calls me that. It made me smile.
"Okay, okay," I said, chuckling. "Do you want me to bring anything else? I bet I could raid Thrawn's kitchen."
"Oh, yes, bring food," Kellchri's voice came through, sounding slightly distant. I keyed off the comm with a smile still dancing on my lips and left my office. I slipped into my room and put on some casual pants and a short sleeved shirt, then went to Thrawn's room, BD hopping beside me.
I have access to his quarters, but I always call out to him when I enter. He didn't answer, so I went into the kitchen and dug through it. I found some fruit that he had an abundance of—how did he eat all of this before it went bad? Then I found some bread and cheese, and even some sort of dip. I shrugged, putting it all into a little bag. I heard the door open.
"I'm in the kitchen!" I yelled out.
Thrawn walked in with Eli, both of them looking surprised.
"I er, I'm stealing your food."
Eli chuckled, but Thrawn leaned over to look in the bag. "Are you having a picnic on the Chimaera?"
"No," I said, giggling. "My team invited me to play cards. I told Darro I would raid your kitchen."
"Gambling, Commander?" Eli asked, a glint in his eye.
"Oh, I know not to gamble against Darro, first of all. Remember when we went on a mission to Canto Bight?" I shook my head. "Plus, I'm not going to take money from my squad." I thought about it. "They might gamble real credits when I'm not there, I suppose. But no, we make it more interesting."
"How so?" Thrawn asked curiously.
"Well, last time, we gambled with dares. Obviously nothing that will affect our jobs. I was dared to tell one of the chef droids that their spices were mis-calibrated. He uh, he rushed to the service room, quite panicked for a droid."
Thrawn just stared at me, but Eli bellowed a quick laugh. "That's ridiculous," he said when he was done.
I shrugged. "It is silly, but it is also a form of team bonding."
"Fascinating," Thrawn said. "Humans are quite interesting."
"Uh, sure. Would you guys like to come?"
"I think I'd like to try a round of this, dare gambling." I raised my eyebrows at Thrawn, surprised. Who was this guy?
———
I walked into Darro's room with the two men. All of my squad stood up at attention at the appearance of Thrawn.
"Hey guys. I told them they could join us." I looked at Thrawn, who had already nodded his acknowledgement to my team, telling them to relax. "He may be our Admiral, but let's bring him down," I said darkly, and Kandria made a gleeful sound.
Soon, we were all around the table, and I was pleased to see my team had accepted the guests without a second thought. Darro brought us all drinks and Kellchri raided the food bag before we even sat down. To my pleasure, Darro had gotten me a bottle of blossom wine, my absolute favorite.
"Alright, Admiral, you pick the game, as our honored guest," Darro said as he sat down.
"I have heard of a game called sakresh, but have not had the chance to play it."
Darro explained the rules, and I sipped my wine, waiting. Finally, it was time to place our bets. Each person made a dare for if they win. The only consequence of losing, is if the person who wins has a bet against you. Low-risk, for the most part.
Kellchri spoke up. "If I win, Finon has to clean all of our bathrooms."
"Oh, yes," I said with a sly smile. "If I win, Eli has to do a handstand and walk across the room." Eli looked at me, surprised at being targeted. I chuckled.
"And if I win, Thrawn has to tell us a story from his time before arriving in the Empire," said Kandria. Oh, I liked that one, very clever. Thrawn nodded seriously, and I tried to hide a grin behind my wine glass. His eyes darted to mine, the tiniest of smiles dancing on his lips.
"If I win, Lilya has to do either front flips or back flips down the entire barrack corridor," said Darro. I narrowed my eyes at him.
"If I win, Darro has to take two shots," said Finon. Oh, I loved a drunk Darro, we all did. I'd never seen the man get worked up, he just got funnier.
We all looked at Thrawn. He didn't have to put a bet on Kandria, of course, but it was kind of an unspoken rule. He looked thoughtful for a moment.
"If I win," he said in his slow, calm voice. "You have to share a story about your Commander," he finally said to Kandria. My team made excited sounds, and I rolled my eyes, unable to stifle my grin.
The game lasted almost twenty minutes, and wouldn't you know, Darro won. I shook my head before standing up and slipping out of the room, bouncing as I walked. Everyone entered the large corridor as I went to the very end. It spanned quite a ways down, and the entire hallway included various barracks. Stormtroopers in uniform and in relaxed garb were mingling about. Hopefully, they'd see me coming.
I jumped up a couple times, then shook out my limbs. I sprinted for a couple meters before jumping hard into a front flip directly in front of my team, Thrawn, and Eli, then a cartwheel, then a backflip, then another cartwheel, finally finishing with a final front flip. When I finished, I bowed to the troopers all around. I was surprised when a few actually clapped, causing me to laugh out loud.
The night dragged on, everyone enjoying themselves. My squad got pretty drunk, I tried to slow down after about two hours in. Thrawn ended up having to take three shots total, Eli had to send a message to a cousin he hadn't seen in almost twenty years saying he just divorced his wife, even though he's never had a wife. Kellchri had made this bet, and honestly, I was tickled by the dare. Thrawn had looked confused, which only tickled me further. Kellchri ended up taking a shot and having to read us an ancient poem in full character. By the time the chrono read 2300, I stood up, announcing I was retiring for the night. Eli actually stayed, which pleased me, but Thrawn left with me.
"That was quite a team bonding exercise," he said as we walked the hallways back to the officer's quarters.
I chuckled. "Yeah, they're something else. I can't recall who came up with the betting system, but it can be pretty fun."
"I was quite impressed with your acrobatic skills."
I looked up at him. "Thank you," I said with a smile.
When we passed my room I stopped, but decided I'd rather go to Thrawn's chambers, so I just told BD to go charge. I couldn't help but think of Dante, and how I'd never wanted to spend my free time with him. I felt a tiny pang of guilt, as I usually did during the rare times I thought about him. We'd received our orders to transfer to the Chimaera and left the very next day; I never even stopped to say goodbye to Dante. Honestly, it hadn't even occurred to me until we'd already been gone for a week, and I was horny.
I looked over at Thrawn. He was always so tall, composed, and efficient. I'd started this... companionship, only due to attraction. But over time I'd seen his intelligence, and even some compassion. I still saw his ruthless strategies, and it most definitely still bothered me. But, after almost four years with him, I was beginning to realize I was quite fond of the man.
It was terrifying, and I tried to convince myself it was just lust. But honestly, I'd become rather loyal to a man who is technically my enemy. I still hadn't informed the Alliance of our affair. I was worried they'd expect me to use it for our cause, and truthfully, the thought made me feel dirty. I was pretty sure Thrawn knew I wasn't a die-hard Imperial, and occasionally, I wondered if he really was. He was dedicated to his position, without a doubt. But every once in a while there was a flash of something I recognized in myself.
I was pretty sure Darro knew what we were up to, as well as Eli. Sometimes Thrawn and I walk the ship at night, burning off our energy when neither of us can sleep. We've ran into them both a handful of times. One time, after a particularly hard mission, I'd slept in Thrawn's incredible bed for almost 18 hours. Darro had messaged Thrawn asking if I was with him. He'd been on the bridge, and made Eli go to his chambers to see if I was there. I slept through his check-in, but Thrawn told me later. So, yeah, I thought they might know.
Thrawn motioned for me to enter his room first, and I smiled up at him. Never once has he entered a door before me, unless it was an official meeting.
"I need a shower," I murmured, more to myself than to him.
Thirty minutes later I slipped out of the shower. To my surprise, there were folded clothes sitting on the counter. I picked up the top item. A basic T-shirt, though, it was clearly woman's, and my size. But even more surprising were the silky panties underneath the shirt. I pulled them on, surprised by how soft the silk felt against my skin. Then I pulled up the skimpy sleeping shorts and shirt. They were soft. Like, I haven't felt clothing so soft since I was a princess. I left the refresher and cocked my head at the man sitting in front of me. He was typing speedily on his datapad, always working.
I walked to the window, and stared at the hyperspace swirls. That's odd; we were currently supposed to be stationed over Lothal. I stared for a while before turning back and plopping onto the bed. I bounced, and my impact made him lightly bounce too, causing me to chuckle. He looked at me, so I finally spoke.
"Where are we going?"
"To sleep, I imagine."
"Thrawn! Where is the Chimaera going?"
He actually sighed, sending tiny alarm bells through my mind.
"We are rendezvousing with the Fortitude."
My eyebrows raised. "Why?" I asked cautiously. That absolutely did not sound like a good time.
"Apparently there are issues with some supply lanes for Krennic's battle station."
"And he can't solve them?"
Thrawn smiled at my dig. I'd never met Krennic, but from my own research, I get the feeling he's not actually that useful. Though Tarkin has stepped back from the project, I still got the idea he was pulling a lot of the strings.
"I don't know, we'll find out when we get there." He looked back at his datapad, clearly typing a report.
I crawled to the head of the bed, then scooted right up behind Thrawn, putting my hands on his shoulders. For a man who never looked worried, he was surprisingly tense. He finished typing a few minutes in, and he relaxed slightly under my hands. I kept kneading at the knots, until finally, I just told him to lay on his stomach. I put my weight into his body, on all the perfect spots. I wasn't an expert in bodily anatomy, but Darro constantly had tight muscles due to all the surgical enhancements, and our entire team has learned how to loosen them.
When I finished, I leaned down and kissed his neck. He flipped himself over, pushing me off him. I laughed as I hit the bed. His face came close to mine and I shivered at the site of his glowing red eyes.
"How long until we're at the rendezvous?"
"Six hours. We need to sleep."
"Then we better make it fast," I said with a giggle. He growled and kissed my lips, then my jaw, my collarbone, until he pushed my top under my boob and his hot mouth wrapped around a nipple. I let myself moan in happiness, unguarded. I knew my sounds drove him crazy.
Sure enough, his mouth tightened around my puckered nipple. My back arched, and one of his hands slipped underneath, the other pushing my shorts down. He didn't bother to remove them fully, just flatted his hand across my wet cunt and dragged it all the way up. I let out another long groan, and he smacked my clit. I arched and cried out.
The next thing I knew his mouth was on my pussy. My body splayed out the moment he removed my shorts from my ankles. His hands were rough on my thighs, but I was used to the bruises that would no doubt be there tomorrow. The thought elicited another deep moan from my lips. He made a sound of his own in response, and two warm fingers slid into my pussy as his mouth attacked my clit. Without thinking, I wrapped my legs around his head. I felt him chuckle, the vibrations ringing against my clit.
"Oh, gods, Thrawn!" I cried, shoving my clit hard against his tongue, basically fucking his mouth. He made another deep grumbling sound as he slipped in another finger. I cried his name again, still grinding hard against him. I wondered if he could breath, but didn't really care. I bucked hard when my orgasm took me, sounds dripping from my lips. My legs relaxed slightly, letting go of his head as he slowed his tongue down, removing his fingers. Fuck.
"That was sexy," he growled. He hopped off the bed and was naked in a second. I stood up on the bed, laughing. I swayed lightly, realizing I was still a bit tipsy, and weak from my orgasm.
"Lay down," I said, my voice wispy and light. As usual, he didn't obey.
He pulled me to the bed and straddled me. His hand slipped under my thighs and pushed them up, my body bending almost into a pretzel. I wrapped my arms underneath my knees and held them tight to my chest. His cock slid into my pussy. The position held my cunt together tight, and the pressure from his cock trying to fully fit caused my jaw to slack open. It took him a few pumps to finally hit my cervix, and I cursed under my breath. His hands trailed from my ass, up my thighs, and back down, leaving gooseflesh in their wake.
"So eager," he said darkly. I moaned an affirmative.
"For someone so composed and in control, you sure do crumble for me." I wanted to object, I was a strong, resilient person. But the alcohol we'd had must be loosening his lips, because he rarely said more than a few words during sex. I wanted to hear more from his low, sexed up voice. I let go of my knees and he pulled them over his shoulders.
"Fuck," I said at the new angle. His cock hit deeper, and he grunted too. I was almost there, hanging on a blissful edge, both eager to be pushed over and desperate to hold on forever.
"You're mine," he growled. I whimpered his name as my orgasm rolled through me, his declaration both shocking me and pushing me over the edge. "Lilya," he said, his voice cracking, as we came around each other. He dropped my knees and leaned down, his face buried in my neck as we rode our euphoria together. My arms and legs wrapped around him once I regained myself.
We were asleep before we could even clean up.
———
"I value your insight, Lilya, that's why I'm 'dragging you along.'" My eyes widened. I hadn't realized he could hear Eli and I talking this far behind him.
"But this is above my clearance level," I said louder.
"The project itself isn't. Tarkin has informed me he's spoken about it with you previously, so he approved your presence."
"Great," I mumbled. Eli gave me a side eye with a small grin. He reached out and bumped his elbow against me, a silent encouragement.
Thrawn entered, Eli behind him, and me, tall and stiff pulling up the rear. We walked into the Fortitude's command room, and my heart dropped. Tarkin, Vader, and Admiral Roth were all around the large projector. Not to mention, Dante was here too.
"Ah, good, Admiral," Tarkin said, nodding at our party in greeting. I gave him a nod, then turned to both Vader and Roth and nodded as well.
I took my position standing tall in between Eli and Dante. Dante looked down at me; I'd almost forgotten how tall he is. He smirked, and winked. I gave him a half smile and returned my gaze to the leaders, and saw Thrawn's eyes boring into me. My heart thumped. He looked like he wanted to call the meeting to a halt just to pull me away from Dante.
I gave him a small but genuine smile, and his eyes went back to the holo projector. Krennic's bust was there, as well as a map and tons of data. I listened, after a while deciding that something was off with the whole problem. If pirates were constantly intersecting the shipments, there has to be a mole.
"Do you have a comment, Commander?" I focused on Tarkin, who'd asked the question. I realized my face had been scrunched up in deep thought, and I forced myself to relax.
"Have we looked for a mole?"
Krennic, who couldn't see me, exploded at the accusation.
"I do not have a mole, as I've already explained to the Grand Moff."
"What about a mole in the supply line?" Thrawn asked.
"We've poured over the records, Admiral. There is something else going on here than a simple snitch."
"Obrinn can review them a second time, Grand Moff. Just give the word." Tarkin's smiled his creepy smile at me, pleased.
"I will send the information to you," he said. I nodded, ignoring Krennic's next outburst. Who the hell did this guy think he was? A child, throwing tantrums. And Tarkin was allowing it.
They continued to talk, but I focused on Tarkin. Something about his posture and the way he was talking had me on edge. Like he was playing a game.
It became clear when Thrawn and Krennic began discussing the TIE Defender program. I tensed slightly, understanding finally that Tarkin was pitting the two men against each other. I looked at Thrawn, and saw he'd definitely pieced it together too. He looked ever so slightly annoyed. I didn't understand why, but the realization made me rather defensive over Thrawn's project.
The conversation began to wrap up, and I felt Dante shift next to me. "You have a lot of guts speaking out in front of two of the most powerful people in the galaxy," he said, humor lacing his voice. I looked up at him.
"And Krennic has a lot of guts challenging the Emperor's three favorite men."
"Two men," he corrected. I gave him a confused look, but the nasty look on his face told me he was saying Thrawn isn't a man. I snorted in disgust, the sound loud.
"Do you have something to add, Commander?"
I looked at Vader, who hadn't said one word until now.
"No, my Lord. I apologize."
"I'd like to hear the joke," said Tarkin. I looked at him, surprised.
"Sorry sir, I didn't actually find it to be funny. I, well it was out of line, in my opinion."
Tarkin motioned for me to continue.
Thankfully, Krennic was no longer on the call. "I commented that I was surprised Director Krennic had the guts to be so outspoken and disrespectful toward our Emperor's three best men. And Captain Dixon corrected me, saying two men. I believe it was a dig at Thrawn for not being human."
Tarkin cocked his head at Dixon. Thrawn was looking at me, his eyes slightly wider than usual. I thought he might be trying to tell me to shut up with his eyes.
"I can see his perspective," Tarkin finally said. Hate washed over me, and I suddenly understood why Dante was his first officer. They were both vile men. Vader shifted to look at Tarkin, but he remained quiet. I don't know how I knew, but somehow, I knew Tarkin's comment had angered Vader. It seemed to mix with my own hate, morphing into something stronger, and I suddenly felt rather bold.
"In that case, should we discuss Lord Vader's suit?" Everyone turned toward me, shocked. And I mean everyone. Eli shifted to look down at me, his mouth literally hanging open.
"I mean no offense my lord. I think the three of you are exceptional men, and even better leaders. I only wish to understand where exactly this imaginary line lies, on what makes a man." I had crossed a different line, and I knew it. But it was too late.
Dante stirred, clearly uncomfortable. Vader turned toward Tarkin, and somehow, I knew he wasn't offended by my comment. That is a relief. But secretly, that is what I'd wanted. I'd also hoped to sort of push Vader toward Thrawn's side, though, I wasn't sure why I should care. They were all Imperial.
"Perhaps, it is better to be on this side of the line." Vader's cold, mechanical voice rang out. He looked at Thrawn. "Admiral," then he walked up to me. My heart was pounding in my chest, and I tried to radiate admiration for the man, though I felt none. "Commander, walk to my ship with me," he said, not a question.
"Yes, my lord," I replied, nodding to the men, who all seemed to be watching us, frozen. They probably thought I was going to die, but I didn't think so.
I followed him out the door, and for a while, he didn't say anything.
"I hope I wasn't too out of line, sir. I just, well, I guess I don't care for bigotry. I do truly respect you, and I apologize if I offended you."
He didn't answer right away, which made me wonder if I'd misread him.
"You did not offend me, Commander." He paused again, before finally continuing. "You were defending your commander, which is admirable."
"Thank you, sir. Though, I am loyal to the Empire and the Emperor. The Grand Moff is a part of that, and I probably shouldn't have called him out like that."
"Indeed," he said, and I saw him glance slightly at me. I kept my gaze forward, still feeling nervous, though he didn't sound angry.
He stayed quiet for a long time, and I was beginning to wonder if he'd even had a purpose for asking me along.
"You are quite fond of Thrawn." I was both surprised by the fact that he finally spoke, and by his words.
"Er, yes sir. He's an excellent leader."
"So I've heard. But, that is not what I mean."
I nodded slowly, unable to look at him. "Yes sir, I am." There was no point in lying. I lied enough, and wasn't about to push the dark lord.
We entered the hanger, and I saw his ship on the far side. He didn't speak again until we stopped next to it. I turned to face him.
"He does have the disposition of a king."
I froze. "What—I mean, I'm sorry? Sir," I added hastily.
His helmet shifted ever so slightly in a tilt. Was he amused with me? "Though, he would probably be bored on Antik."
He fucking knew. He knew who I was. That doesn't necessarily mean he knows my reason for being in the Empire, right? Just... that I'd changed my name.
"Sir, I gave up my crown when my family was killed."
"Why?"
I hesitated, surprised by the inquiry. "It was too painful."
"You do not seem to be one to shy away from pain." Gods, was I going to die here? A half-truth would probably be better than a full lie.
"I thought I could make a bigger difference as someone else. A, uhm, well, a Jedi helped me escape, and introduced me to a Senator, who helped me get aid to my world. I enjoyed the work, it was fulfilling. So when the Republic fell, I continued to provide aid to worlds for many years, up until I decided to join the Empire."
"You went from saving people to killing people?" I chuckled at his statement, trying to hide the anxiety building inside me.
"Actually, my original goal on Antik was to kill the King Regent." It was taking everything in me to play the part and believe everything I said.
"Ah, so you went back to killing."
"I do a lot more than kill, my lord."
"Indeed."
After a short pause, he continued. "I expect your engagements to not affect your duties in any way." I relaxed slightly. He wasn't going to kill me today, after all.
"Including," he added, "speaking out against superiors." I had the odd feeling his words were not a threat, but more of a caution. I couldn't understand why, the man has killed for a lot less than what I pulled today.
"Understood, Lord Vader," I said, bowing my head deeply. Then, he turned, and walked up the ramp to his ship. I backed up, and watched him take off. It wasn't until I could no longer see his ship that I relaxed, sucking in air. I located a trashcan and puked, then found a bench, slumping onto it. What the fuck.
I sat there for a long time, watching the bustling hanger, trying to wrap my head around what had just happened, and trying not to be sick. How does he know? I had a nagging feeling that the answer was right in front of me.
"Lilya?" I turned at Eli's voice, and saw him and Thrawn approaching me. I felt some relief from their presence, but I was still feeling rather sick. I tried to smile at them, but it fell rather flat.
"Are you alright?" Thrawn asked once they reached me.
"Yeah," I said simply.
"Did he threaten you?"
"What? Oh, no, he didn't." The admission surprised me. He really hadn't.
"So he wasn't mad at you?" Eli asked, sounding perplexed.
"No. What did Tarkin do when we left?"
Eli shrugged. "Nothing. We finalized our mission details and left. Though, Captain Dixon had gone rather pale."
"He thought you were going to die," Thrawn added, sure of his conclusion. There was also a question underneath his words, but I ignored it.
"Oh please," I said, finally standing up. "You all thought I was going to die. Can we go?"
Thrawn nodded and motioned for Eli and I to lead the way. As we boarded the shuttle, I went to the back and sat at a table, my head over my arms. I was still trembling slightly, trying to wrap my head around Vader's unexpected words.