"Amma kita samadham venumnu kekariya, illa kalyanam panna porenu solriya?", Lakshmi asked teasingly but noticed Kathir tense to her words and jerk a little letting go of her hand.
"Dei chumma than da sonean. Nee unakunu mudhal morai en kita edho kekara. Samadham ilanu vera soluvena?"
Kathir smiled weakly. Though she does not know the girl was Mullai and hasn't approved his marriage to Mullai, her words soothed him a little.
"Avala romba kadhalikiriya da?", she asked caressing his hair smoothening it.
"Romba ma", he said wholeheartedly.
"Nala iru da. Epavum sandhosama sirichutu iru", she said and kissed his forehead. She leaned back and noticed how weary he looked. He has thinned a lot and had dark eyes indicating his sleepless nights.
"Unaku romba velai da. Unna nee gananichukaradhey illa. Unna pathuka oruthi vandha than seriya irukum", Lakshmi amma said knowing how hectic his days where since he started looking at Karaikudi unit.
"Amma, adhu elam perusa velai illa. Naan nala than irukean", Kathir smiled and took Lakshmi amma's hand in his again.
"Ennai naan nala than gavanichukarean. Kavalai padadhenga", Kathir said and Lakshmi amma looked unconvinced.
"Ponnu yarunu nenga kekalayey", tried to change the topic back to Mullai.
Lakshmi gave a knowing smile at him "Nee solalayey da adha"
"Amma...", Kathir hesitated, hoping his mother does not get him wrong like others at his house.
"En da? Amma kita Mullai'ya than kadhalikarenu solla bayapadariya?"
"Ma! Ungaluku yepadi?", Kathir was shocked beyond words and looked at Kanna to see if he had spilled the beans. However, Kanna had a surprised expression as well.
"Oh indha periya manusanukum therinju iruku pola?", Lakshmi asked in a mocking tone.
"Anne onum solala. Naan en arivu theramaiyil kandu pidichean", Kanna was lifting his imaginary collar. Kanna shut his mouth seeing the stare from both.
Kathir paused a minute before he asked "Ungaluku yepadi ma theriyum? Anni sonangala?"
He immediately regretted asking, seeing Lakshmi amma face shrink.
"Enala onum mudiyama oru orama okandu irukean than. Adhukunu idha kuda solla thonalaya da? Enaku than kadasiya theriyudhu pola", Lakshmi said upset evident in her voice.
"Ayo en ma ipadi solrenga? Apadi illa ma. Unga kita solalamnu than vandhean. Aana anaiku solla mudiyama pochu. ", Kathir bend his face in guilt, understanding the mistake he made by not informing her first.
"Naan un amma da. Nee solalanalum un manasula enna irukunu enaku puriyum", she said trying to ease her son, though she was hurt a little.
"Anaiku grahapravesathula unga rendu periyum pathean.Avalava madiku vara venamnu adhati solra, avalum kekara. Nee yaru melayum ivalavu urimai yedutu naan pathadhu illa da"
Kathir smiled widely seeing how his mother read him like a book, though he tried to act discrete the other day.
"Amma, ungaluku idhula edavum varutham ilayey?", Kathir asked hesitantly wanting to make sure her mother was ok with their relationship whole heartedly.
"Sandhegam vandha anaiku un mela romba kovam vandhuchu. Yepadi ipadi mudivu yeduthenu. Unna kuptu kandikalamnu kuda nenachean", Lakshmi started and Kathir face fell a little.
"Aana, aparam okandhu yosichu patha, thappu panadhu elam namba. Adhuku Mullai enna panuva? Ava yepadiyum inoru kalyanam panna pora, adhu unaiya irundha enna thapunu thonuchu.
Jeeva'ku inoru ponnu mela virupam irukunu theriyama irundhu irukean. Ava inga yepadi kasta pattu vazhdhanu kuda enaku theriyama than irundhu irukean . Oru amma va, Ava athaiya Idhu elam naan gavanichu irukanum.
Ipo unaku avala kalyanam panni vechu, naan panna thappuku, naney parigaram thedara mathiri than thonudhu enaku"
Kathir just sat there listening to her mother in admiration on the clarity she carried, though she has stayed inside the four walls most of her life.
"Un appa thavarina apo, Kanna china pillai. 4 pasangala yepadi pathupenu, enna inoru kalyanam kuda silla peru panna sonanga. Panama mutal thanam panreanu silla peru sonanga.
Oru vela avanga sonna mathiri inoru kalyanam panni irundha, enkaga suyanalama kalyanam panikiteanu kuda silla peru solli irupanga. Nambala pathi thappa pesa epovum nalu peru irupanga da. Namba manasuku edhu serinu padudho adha seiyanum da"
Kathir had no words and just hugged her while still holding her hand and cried. He felt too emotional to even utter anything. Lakshmi just sat there until he composed himself. She could understand what he was going through.
"Kalayil saptengala ma?", Kathir asked finally breaking the hug.
"Illa da, thyroid mathiri potutu oru mani neram kalichu than sapidanum. Dhanam vandhu tharuva"
"Naan tharata?"
Lakshmi amma smiled and nodded her head. Kathir left his mother's hand and picked up her medicine box from the nightstand and filled a glass of water.
While she extended her hand for the medicine, she said
"Amma onne onnu matum sollikarean da. Indha kalyanathala namba kudumba epavum pirinjidama pathuko da"
Kathir's heart dropped at her words on how even she felt their marriage was not possible without breaking the family. However he hide his feelings and smiled at her and nodded his head.
"Seri ma, naan kadaiku kelambarean", he said and left to the shop.
Lakshmi amma heaved a sigh as she stared at the door through which Kathir left. It has been 15 years since her husband passed. In these years so much has changed in their lives. There was not a moment when Kathir would not have kept the comfort of everyone in the house above his own self. His mere presence was enough for them to feel comfort. For the world, he was a grown up 27-year-old hardworking man. But for Lakshmi, he was still the 15-year-old boy, who left everything behind for their family's wellbeing.
"En Kathiruku kalyanam aga pogudhu!", Lakshmi amma said. Her eyes were still fixed on the door. Different emotions passed through her eyes.
"En ma, adhula sandhosam ilaya ungaluku?", Kanna asked
"Enna da kelvi idhu? Romba sandhosam da. Adhuvum Mullai mathiri oru thangamana ponnu amanju iruku.", she smiled
"Aparam en ma, ipadi kolapama irukenga? ", Kanna asked.
"Idhu elam kandu pidikara avaluku nee periya manusan ayitiya da? Dhanam inum unna kolandhainu solitu iruka", she chuckled but remained silent after.
After a long silence, she decided to tell him the truth
"Ava marupadi indha veetla yepadi da vandhu vazhva?", she asked.
"Indha veetla iruka venam, Kathira thaniya kutitu porenu sonalum adhu thappu illa. Ava yedathil irundu patha adhu seri than. Aana, naan suyanalama indha kudumbam piriya kudadhu, en pasanga onna irukanumnu asai padarean", she shook her head. The mere thought of Kathir leaving them was painful. Though he spoke less, she was emotionally dependent on him. Last year him being away was painful enough that she could not bring herself thinking it could be permanent.
Kanna put away the medicines and kept it aside. He went silent at her question.
"Mullai anni indha kudumbatha pirikanumnu nenaipangala ma?", Kanna asked breaking the silence
"Cha cha, apadi solala. Ava inga irukaravanga mela avalavu anbu vechu iruka da.
Ava inga irundha oru varusham, dhenamum en kuda okandhu pesuva. Ava padikara puthagathil irundhu, enaku kadhai soluva. Enaku padika puthagam vangi tharenu elam soluva.Indha kai vechutu yepadi padikanu, ava kita chumma kannu seriya theriyalanu sonadhuku, enaku mooku kanadi vangi tharenu elam sandai potu iruka", her eyes brimmed.
"Apadi patta ponnuku, namba elam dhoragam panni irukom da. Jeeva avala yepadi nadathinanu kuda indha amma therinjukama irundhu irukean da oru varusham. Manasula evalavu vazhi oda irundhu irupa indha veetla"
"Aparam en ma kavalai padarenga? Anni indha veeta piripanganu en bayapadarenga?"
"Ava nenachalum thappu ilayey da. Jeeva indhey veetla thana irukan. Avan moonji pathutu vazha avaluku sangadama irukadha?
Kathir avala kasta padama pathupan, adhula enaku sandhegam illa. Irundhalum manasuku oruthudhu da. Rendu perum vazhkaiyil romba kasta patutanga. Inametu epavum sandhosama irukanum da", she replied
"Amma, Kathir anne anniya romba virumbudhu. Anniyum than. Rendu perum maari maari , oruthar oruthar sandhosathukaga seiyaradha naan pathu irukean. Nenga edhuvum yosichu varutha padadhenga. Avanga sandhosama irupanga", Kanna tried to convince her.
"Apadi irukanumnu naan kadavula vendikarean", she smiled towards Kanna.
**
Mullai was sitting on the floor near a window. Her agony about her future has turned into anger by now. She had stayed at home most of the day not wanting to talk to anyone. Her cell phone rang. She knew exactly who it would be even without the special ring tone she had for him. She picked up her cell phone and sadly looked at the screen, which displayed Kathir's picture taken during grahapravesam.
She debated a minute before she attended the call and pressed the cell phone against her ear.
"Mulla", Kathir said
"Hmm", she almost whispered and then pressed her lips together, so she does not end up crying to him again.
"inum apadi than irukiya?", he sensed from her unusual tone in her voice.
"Vera yepadi iruka solra? Naan enna sonalum nee ennai purinjuka poradhu illa", she replied curtly.
"Ennai alavuku unna yarum purinjuka mudiyadhu. Kovathula edhu venna soladha Mulla", he let out a frustrated breath.
Her anger melted in his words. No matter how uncertain her future was, the love he had towards her was static.
"Seri un koral en oru mathiri iruku? Veetla edavadhu thirumba sonangala?", Mullai asked concerned.
Her care brought tears of helplessness in his eyes "Anni pesinadha en kita en solala Mulla?"
"Adhu!..", she asked surprisingly.
"En kita yen solala?", he asked more sternly
"Solli enna aga pogudhu? Akka mela kovam elam illa enaku. Akka nenacha mathiri than neraya per nenaika poranga. Aana, veetla ulavangaley nenaikaranganu therinju kastam achu. Adhan namba kalyanam pananumnu aasai padaradha idhoda vitudalamnu solrean"
Both of them stayed silent for a moment.
"Bayama iruku", he said.
"Nee ipadi elam pesa matiyey. Enna achu?" she asked. Her voice was low yet calming his nerves.
He was scared if he could get married to her without offending anyone. His worst fear was if she would be happy with him without tarnishing her name.
"Onum illa vidu", he whispered. He shook his head and said "Nambala pathi pesa venam. Vera edavadhu pesu"
"Enna pesa?"
"Enna vena pesu. Chumma un kural kekanum pola irunduchu. Adhan call panean"
"hmm se-ri", she replied a little bit unsurely.
She paused for a second before she started talking about work. After some time, the topic drifted towards her childhood and pranks she had played on people. Her infectious charm and enthusiasm were giving him comfort that he needed now.
Mullai suddenly noticed a lizard on the floor.
"Kita varadha", she said in a terror filled voice.
"Yaru un room ku vara indha nerathula?", he frowned.
"Eii..varadhanu sonean"
"Mulla! Yaru? Enna achu?", he asked concerned.
"Varadhanu solrean. Unaku avalavu than mariyadhai", she ran toward the bed and settled down on it with folded legs.
"Mulla ipo solla poriya ilaya?", Kathir asked raising his voice.
"Palli. Oru nimisham iru Kathir. Veratitu varean"
"Edhu!! Paliya?", Kathir said in disbelief.
"Amam, tharayil okandu irundhean, oru palli pakathil vara aramichuduchu", she said
"Unaku palina bayama?", he asked controlling his giggle.
"Bayam illa. Aruvarupa irukum thana? Adhan. Bed ku odi vandutean. Ipo kuda tharayil irundhu enna morachu pathutu iruku", she replied worriedly looking at the lizard wandering on the floor.
She could hear Kathir stifle a laugh and her attention shifted back towards him "Ipo edhuku sirikara?"
"Pinna? Un vayala oorayey vithu saptiduva, oru palliku bayapadara", he chuckled.
"Thirumba solrean. Bayam kedayadhu", she shrugged.
"Seri seri nambitean. Unna mathiri dhayiriyasali, budhisali yarum kedayadhu ulagathula", he said in amusement, enjoying her antics.
"Ilanu vera soluviya?", she replied failing to notice the teasing tone.
"Kandipa matean. Unna mathiri arivaliyala matum than palli kuda elam pesa mudiyum. Adhuvum 5 nimishathuku", he said laughing again.
She paused and a deep blush spread from her head to her neck.
"Eii otadha Kathiru", she said, and he laughed again.
"Kathiru!"
"Seri seri otala", he stated controlling his laugh.
She laid on the bed and initiated a normal conversation. They talked a while, the lizard in the room long forgotten.
Kathir was in middle of saying something, when he realized there was no response from the other end. When he looked at the clock at the wall, he realized it was getting late and Mullai had drifted to sleep while they spoke. His lips stretched to a smile involuntarily, while he ended the call.
Ever since he returned from Mullai house yesterday, he could not keep his mind off her. Her tear-stained face, her helplessness was killing him inside. He knew he was responsible for her misery and wanted to bring back the bubbly girl. Seeing her act silly around a lizard, made him more guilty than before. His mind was a mess right now. He just kept lying in the bed in an uncomfortable position. He wanted to mend everything, and he needed someone to talk to or help him.
*
Kumaresan mama had noticed Kathir being unusually quiet and lost in thoughts last few days. With the way Moorthy was behaving, he understood Kathir had confessed his heart to his family. He knew things hadn't gone well the moment he looked at his face. He told himself he would give Kathir time, knowing he wouldn't want to talk about it. Kathir usually shut down when he was angry or melancholy or both.
He was lost in thoughts when he heard movements on other side of the door. When he got up to peep, he heard knock on the door. He opened the door to find Kathir standing there in a red tshirt with black dhoti. He looked like crap and completely worn out.
"Va da", Kumaresan mama said and moved aside to let him in.
"Avala romba kadhalikarean mama", Kathir said as he sat on the bed and Kumaresan sat next to him.
"Adha en da ipadi salipa solra?", Kumerasan mama asked confused on where the conversation was heading.
Kathir just shook his head. He seemed to be miles away as he stared at empty space
"Naan enna panna ava sandhosama irupanu theriyala mama.
Amma othukitalum, kudumbam pirinjidumnu bayapadaranga. Anne, anni suthama samadhikala. Veeta edhirdhu kalyanam panni, enga veetuku kutitu ponalum, ava sandhosama irupalanu theriyala.
Adhu matum illa. Veeta vitu poi kalyanam panna ava othuka kuda matta. Apadiyey ava samadhichalum, veetla irukavangalum kasta paduvanga.
Apadi en suyanalathukaga, elathaiyum marandutu va'nu kuda solla mudiyala enala. Naan ilamaley sandhosama irupalonu thonudhu mama. Nenga mundhi sonna mathiri, naan ava vazhkaiyil nolanji irukavey kudadhonu thonudhu", he rambled.
Kathir was dejected not knowing a way to make her happy.He did not want her to give up her life to be with him and end up being unhappy in the same house again. Maybe she deserved better was the thought that kept running in his head. He had no one to confess his heart and came to his mama to pour his agony out.
"Elai. Nee unmaiya avala kadhalicha, yelatha vida avaluku munurimai kudu da. Ava sandhosam than mudhala nee yosikanum"
"Naan muyarchi panitu than irukean mama", Kathir replied dejected.
"Inum muyarchi pananum da nee", Kumaresan mama replied sternly.
He felt bad for Kathir. Kathir looked so lost, so miserable. Mama could tell Kathir was struggling. He wanted the perfect happy life where both his family and wife got along without any bitter feelings of the past and be together as a family. Kathir needed to draw a boundary line until they came along with his thoughts.
"Un kudumbam evalavu mukiyamnu enaku puriyudhu. Kandipa oru naal purinjupanga unnai. Aana, adhukaga unna nambi vara ponna kasta padutha mudiyadhu. Un velai, kudumbam elatha vida unna kadhalikara ava mukiyamnu nenaikanum da nee"
Kathir just looked at his mama without speaking any more word. Deep down, he knew his mama was right. People were judgmental when it comes to a girl. These people existed inside his home too. He needed to get Mullai far away from all these people, so she can heal for good.
Kathir noticed Kumerasan mama's calculative eyes observing him curiously, breaking his thoughts.
"Seri mama, naan kelambarean", Kathir said
"Oney onnu matum solrean da. Enaikum andha pullaya yemathidadha da. Inoru vatti, naan ilama ava nala irupanu edavadhu solitu thirunja, unna odhaikara mudhal aal naana than irupean"
Kathir rolled his eyes though he understood his concern "Vituda matean mama!" He replied confidently
Kathir noticed his eyes widen in happiness. He bid adieu to his mama and returned home. He noticed the door was locked from inside and didn't have a choice but to call Kanna to open the door for him.
He was surprised that his anni opened the door and his anna and Kanna were seated in the living room as well.
When he tried walking past them, his anni stopped him
"Mani ennanu theriyuma da? Idha rathiriku enga da suthitu vara?", Dhanam asked accusingly
"Mama pathutu varean Anni", he replied
"Indha nerathuku anga edhuku da ponna? Mama'va than pakka poniya illa avala pakka poniya?", Dhanam threw daggers at him.
Kathir got frustrated with her words "Avala pakka poi irundha, avala pakka ponenu soluvean anni"
"Oh! Ipo engala edhirthu pesara alavuku ayiduchu. Ipo solrean. Ava indha veetuku oru nalum vara mudiyadhu. Adhu purinjuko"
"Seri anni. Ava vara venam. Enna naan oru mudivu panni irukean", Kathir said and looked at his brother .
"Kanna ammava kutitu va da "
He waited until Kanna wheeled his mother in . He looked back at his elder brother and anni, before he continued
"Mullaiya kalyanam panitu naan Karaikudi pogalamnu irukean. Andha kadaiya pathu kitu, nanga angaiyey irundidarom", Kathir said determinedly, without an ounce of doubt in his voice startling everyone in the living room .