Is there a certain way an emotionless serial killer should look?
If someone asks you to think about how a serial killer looks like, what would you think?
Probably someone with big muscles, scary features, big bone chilling grin, disheveled hair? Probably something close.
But there's no way you would think a petite, small, young looking girl in a big oversized hoodie being confused about what meat to get for a barbecue party that she supposedly has 'no interest' in would be such a prolific serial killer.
At least that's what Jungkook feels looking at Lily in the grocery store, contemplating over if she should get pork belly or pork slices. Tonight is finally the dinner party they've been wanting to have. Doyoung already brought hanwoo and prepared the other things for barbecue. And Jungkook very graciously offered that they should get some other things as well. And now they are here, shopping for some items they thought they would need for the dinner. Lily had been saying all week that how much of a hassle this whole dinner is, how she hates the idea of eating with a kid and how unnecessary this whole thing is but Jungkook can tell how excited she is.
She obviously doesn't change her expression but Jungkook can tell by her aura that she is looking forward to tonight's dinner. She acts like she doesn't care but right now she is so concentrated on the grocery shopping in the oversized hoodie they brought for Jungkook a few days ago. She looks extra small in that big ass hoodie.
Adorable.
Shouldn't it be illegal for killers to look this adorable?
Jungkook couldn't hide his smile when she finally gave up deciding and put both the pork belly and pork slices in the shopping cart. Jungkook knew that would happen eventually.
Lily looked at Jungkook,"Should we get beer?"
"I think Doyoung already prepared beer,"Jungkook commented.
"A little bit more never hurt nobody,"Lily said,"Let's get soju too. Banana milk too. What does that kid like?"
Jungkook chuckled,"Gaeul also likes banana milk."
"Oh,"Lily said as she pushed the cart towards the refrigerator of the store,"You have the same palate as a seven year old, you should be ashamed."
"Stop being mean,"Jungkook said as he walked by her side, trying to hide his grin.
He was openly excited about tonight's dinner party.
It was gonna be so so fun!
"Jungkook-ah, I'm about to do something bad."
Well, that was the last thing Jungkook thought he would hear today at Doyoung's place while being pushed against a wall of a dark room with a very desperate and worried looking Doyoung grabbing his shoulders. The room was pretty dark, yet Doyoung's intense uncertainty and worry in his eyes could be seen.
Jungkook and Lily had reached Doyoung's house about half an hour ago. As soon as they reached they had started helping out Doyoung for the feast. Jungkook was so busy helping Lily and Gaeul with everything that he had failed to notice that Doyoung had been trying to get his attention since he had set his foot in the house. Doyoung was unable to tell him anything around Lily hence as soon as Lily and Gaeul went to the backyard to grill the meat, Doyoung grabbed Jungkook and brought him here.
"What the fuck, Doyoung? You scared me,"Jungkook said.
"Scared? Stop, this is nothing while I'm scared for my damn life,"Doyoung said.
Jungkook furrowed his eye brows,"What? Why? And what were you saying about doing something bad? Did you forget one of the ingredients.."
Doyoung took a deep breath and cut Jungkook off,"Jungkook, Lily might kill me tonight."
Jungkook suddenly felt sympathetic,"Doyoung-ah, Lily won't kill you over you forgetting an ingredient..I know she might seem like she would, but she wouldn't.."
Doyoung vigorously shook his head,"Jungkook-ah, you don't understand. I'm doing something so big that it might change all of our lives."
Jungkook finally started taking him seriously,"What happened, Doyoung-ah?"
"First tell me, Jungkook-ah, does Lily have any weapon on her right now?" Doyoung asked.
"Umm..she has a small dagger knife in her pocket."
"Is it sharp?"
"Very."
"Would it hurt a lot if she stabs me?"
"Very."
"Ah!!"Doyoung said as he slowly fell to the ground before Jungkook could catch him. Jungkook also sat by his side on the ground.
"I guess, this stabbing pain wouldn't be anything in front of the emotional pain and trauma Lily would go through. I guess I should be ready for at least that if I want to do through with my plan. Right?"It seemed like Doyoung was talking to himself rather than Jungkook hence Jungkook didn't bother answering. Doyoung continued,"I was with Lily for so long, at least she wouldn't kill me, right? Right? Jungkook-ah?"
"I don't know, Doyoung. To answer that I would have to know what the fuck is going on. Would you fucking mind giving me some context?"
Doyoung sighed,"Get yourself ready. And don't be shocked."
Jungkook nodded and intently listened to what Doyoung had to say. After Doyoung was done revealing what his grand plan was..Jungkook was shocked. Beyond shocked. And he was also in a dilemma. He didn't know if this was right, he didn't know how Lily would react, if Lily would be fine. Nothing is certain when it comes to Lily.
So what Doyoung is saying is that..tonight he invited the only person that can bring emotions out of Lily here even thought Lily had strictly forbidden him to ever find or reach out to that person.
Jungkook didn't even know that such a person existed. He knew there was reason Lily saved Gaeul, but he didn't know the reason would be like this.
If Doyoung is right, this really might be the only chance to pull Lily out of the darkness that surrounds her. The wall she built around her, this might be the only chance to break that.
"Listen, no one knows what Lily's reaction would be like, okay?"Doyoung said,"So Jungkook-ah, What you have to do is..calm her down. Only you can do that. And please see that she doesn't hurt herself anyway."
Jungkook chuckled,"And what if she tries to stab you? Aren't you worried about that?"
Doyoung smiled,"I will be okay as long as she's okay."
Jungkook patted his shoulder as he felt Doyoung's sincerity. Lily has earned a really good friend.
"Doyoung-ah, what if Lily refuses to talk or do anything in front of him?"
"I don't know, Jungkook. I think I've already overstepped my boundaries by reaching out to him. I just don't know anymore."
"Let's not force her, Doyoung. If what you're saying is true than she would be in intense emotional distress. We have to let her get over the initial shock and than have her make her decision."
Doyoung nodded.
As they stayed silent in the room in complete darkness, thinking about what might happen tonight, it felt like time had come at a standstill.
"So when's he coming?"Jungkook asked, breaking the silence first.
"Any moment now,"Doyoung said and he looked up to Jungkook,"Why don't you go to Lily, Jungkook? You should to be as close to her as possible."
Jungkook nodded and got up,"I should, shouldn't I? You also get up, there's no point of sitting here."
Before leaving Jungkook turned to Doyoung and said,"Don't you worry, everything would be fine tonight."
Even in the darkness Jungkook could see Doyoung give a small smile,"I sure as hell hope so."
Lily and Gaeul were in the backyard grilling meat. Lily was mainly the one grilling meat while Gaeul was cheering her on. Lily acted very bothered by his loud cheering but she honestly didn't mind it too much. Jungkook stood far from the two of them and stared at the two of them for a few seconds. Lily was secretly enjoying this so much. The fire from the grill was lighting up her face, making her look unreal, out of this word, stunning. Gaeul's excited face and big smile next to her looked so adorable. This scenery in front of him was so beautiful, so simple, so peaceful. Sadly it might be ruined in a few moments.
Jungkook sighed. This is the first time in Lily's life that she is experiencing a dinner party like this with the people that are close to her. Jungkook knows she is secretly very excited. She never gets excited about other stuff. Jungkook's heart is hurting thinking how this experience is gonna be ruined for her. How would she take this? What if she closes herself back again? What is she goes back to what she was before she met Jungkook? What if she becomes worse than that?
He doesn't think he would be able to bear seeing her in pain.
No, he can't.
Jungkook was about to return and tell Doyoung to stop all this and do this another day. He can't let anyone ruin such a precious moment for Lily like this. But before he could Lily had spotted him.
"Kook! Where are you going? Come here, quick!"Lily shouted,"And where the heck is that Doyoung fucker?"
"Lily..I..have to go and do something.."
Lily frowned,"Are you trying to run away from your duty of grilling the damn meat? Come here, I've already grilled the beef, come and help with the pork. Quick!"
"Lily,"Jungkook called out her name desperately,"I need to talk to Doyoung."
"I will bring him here,"Lily said while walking to him and she handed him the grilling tongs,"You go be with Gaeul."
Jungkook held both of Lily's hands while stopping her. Lily stopped and looked at Jungkook,"What? And what's with this long face? Did something happen?"
"Lily.."
"Doyoung did something again, didn't he? Don't worry, I will solve it. You go and enjoy with Gaeul, nothing would ruin this night for you,"Lily assures him.
Jungkook's heart broke again seeing that she is worrying about his night. She definitely noticed how excited he was for tonight.
Lily broke from his hold and quickly stepped inside the house. Jungkook turned to Gaeul and gave a fake smile,"Gaeul-ah, play with Miko for a little while, okay? Hyung will be back!"
Gaeul nodded enthusiastically and Jungkook ran back home. He found both Lily and Doyoung in the kitchen. Lily was very annoyed with Doyoung who was just there trying to quell his nerves while drinking beer,"Doyoung, is this time for drinking beer? Shouldn't you be helping out? Jungkook..well everyone..was really excited for tonight's party. Did something happen?"
Jungkook quickly walked towards Lily and held her shoulder,"Lily, I'm bad at grilling meat, so why don't you go grill the pork while Doyoung and I cook ramen here? Quick, I'm hungry!"
"But..."
Door bell rang.
Jungkook's heart stopped.
Nononononono.
Looks like Doyoung's heart stopped as well. For a second he contemplated than he quickly kept his beer down and said,"Fuck it", then he ran towards the door.
Jungkook also widened his eyes and ran towards the door. Doyoung's hand already was on the handle, he was about to push it but Jungkook ran behind him and held the handle back. Both of them had their hands on the handle and were looking at each other,"We can't do this, Doyoung. Not tonight."
"It's already too late,"Doyoung replied trying to open the door. Jungkook resisted as if opening the door would expose them to a danger greater than anything.
"What the fuck are the two of you doing?"
Both turned their heads simultaneously at Lily who was completely unamused by both of them,"What is going on?"
"Lily.."Jungkook quickly tried to come up with an excuse,"Doyoung..ordered extra beer, we already have so much..so I'm trying to.."
Lily narrowed her eyes,"Do you take me for a fool? Be honest, who the fuck is it?"
"Lily? It really isn't important,"Jungkook said trying his best to keep the door closed while Doyoung kept trying to pull the door open,"Please get to grilling the meat. Nothing will ruin the night."
Lily never listens. She didn't listen this time as well. She slowly walked towards the two of them rather than away from them. She came really close to the door and looked at both of them,"Move your hands."
"Lily.."
"Right now, Jungkook, it's an order."
The coldness in her voice quickly made Doyoung remove his hands while Jungkook kept his hand on the handle. Lily clenched her jaw and held his hand with both of her hands and gave all of her strength to remove it from the door. The impact made Jungkook fall a few steps back.
"Lily no.."
Before he could stand up and stop her she had already pushed the door open revealing the person that was standing outside the big wooden fancy door of Doyoung's house.
"I'm sorry, Lily,"Whispered Doyoung from the side.
Jungkook got up and stood beside Lily holding her by her elbow and trying to pull her back inside. But when he saw who was outside, his eyes also widened.
What Seokjin had said long time ago about his and Lily's fate being intertwined finally made sense.
The world is a small place, indeed.
Outside the door stood a very tall, pale, innocent looking guy that looked like he had just passed his teenage. He was just a human but the aura he gave was no less than of a pure angel. He awkwardly smiled making his deep set dimples appear on his cheeks. Even though he was smiling his eyes had immediately watered seeing the girl standing in front of him.
"No..noona.."
He sniffled and completed his sentence,"Were you well?"
Jungkook had been so focused on the boy that he knew all too well and was thinking about the coincidence of him appearing here to look at Lily. But when he felt his hand that he was holding Lily's hand with shake slightly, he finally turned to Lily.
She was shaking. Her whole body was shaking slowly. Jungkook brought his attention up to her face. She was quiet. Everyone was quiet. No one knew what Lily would say or do next. Everyone was holding their breath.
What happened next was nothing short to a miracle. A small sob that came out of Lily's mouth broke the silence. Jungkook held his breath completely as he saw tears fall from her eyes slowly. Her tears were were shining under the light of Doyoung's doorway and also a bit from the moonlight from outside. They didn't look like tears, rather they looked like diamonds that no one would ever find even with all the wealth in the world.
Jungkook's heartbeat accelerated as this is the first time he has seen any emotion come out of Lily. This is the first time he has seen her crying. This is the first time she seemed so humane, so beautiful. Her wall was breaking. Her humane emotions were creeping out.
Doyoung was so right about it. Jungkook looked at the tall boy standing outside the door. This is the only person that can bring out emotions in her.
"Noona,"The boy again called while taking a step towards her and very gently wrapping his hands around her small petite frame. Lily didn't move but another sob was heard, she called his name in a broken voice,"Soo..Soobin-ah."
"Yes, noona. It's me,"The boy said while hugging her, his own sister tighter.
As Doyoung and Jungkook saw this scenery in front of them, they felt like everything would be okay. They made the right choice.
A small drop of tear left Jungkook's eyes as well. Jungkook is sure Doyoung is crying as well. How could they not?
Lily slowly raised her hand, Jungkook let go of her elbow, believing she would hug Soobin back. But she didn't do that.
She oh so gently pushed Soobin away and the next thing happened before anyone could react anything.
Lily wiped her tears and made a run for it. Away from everyone.
"Noona!"
"Lily!!"
Doyoung and Soobin were also about to run behind Lily but Jungkook stopped them and ran behind Lily. At one point he caught up to Lily and held her wrist while turning her back.
"Lily.."
Under the street lamps and moonlight, her tears looked even more sparkling, diamondlike. She had tried to wipe them but they just won't stop,"Jungkook, I don't know what I may do. I really need to be alone right now."
"But Lily.."
"I won't hurt anyone, Jungkook."
"No Lily.."
"Or myself. I won't hurt myself, are you happy now? Let me go."
Jungkook still didn't let go.
"I really need to be alone right now, Jungkook."
Jungkook sighed and slowly let go of her hands. She again ran. Without stopping or looking back.
"If you need me, I'm just a call away!"Jungkook shouted cupping his mouth with his hands,"Please don't hurt yourself."
Lily didn't reply.
Just ran.
As far as she could.
Jungkook had returned to Doyoung's house without Lily. When he entered he saw Doyoung, Soobin and Gaeul sitting on the sofa. Soobin was crying inconsolably, Doyoung was patting his back and Gaeul was handing him tissues. Even though Gaeul was shocked by the sudden ruin of the party and the sudden appearance of this tall guy who looked a lot like him, he decided to not ask questions. Miko who was uninterested by everything was sitting on the floor while playing with a ball.
Doyoung turned to Jungkook,"Where's Lily.."
"She wants to be alone for sometime. Let's respect her wish."
Doyoung nodded,"I just hope she is fine."
Jungkook nodded.
Soobin slowly wiped his tears and finally looked carefully at Jungkook for the first time he stepped foot in this house. He was so focused on his sister that he failed to notice Jungkook's face.
He widened his eyes, instantly recognizing Jungkook,"Jungkook devil-nim?"
Jungkook smiled at his familiar way of calling him,"Hey, Soobin. Have you been well?"
Doyoung once looked at Jungkook and then at Soobin. Confusion was evident in his features,"How do the two of you know each other's names? I didn't tell you two, did I?"
Jungkook chuckled, it didn't sound as happy as it normally does due to the lack of Lily's presence,"We have a brief history together."
"What history?"
"He, Soobin, was the reason I was locked in the closet for so long."
Jungkook felt bad seeing Doyoung's confused face,"What does that even mean?"
Jungkook just smiled in return.
Lily was sitting in complete darkness. There was no source of light in the room. She was in a motel she found after walking aimlessly in the streets of Seoul. When her legs gave in, she finally decided to give them some rest. Maybe it was a bad call, if she kept walking, physical pain might've distracted her from the mental turmoil she was going through. Her insides were a mess. She didn't know what she was feeling. A hurricane of emotions were going in her. Tears were trying to come out. She has already slipped once in front of everyone, she can't cry again. All the emotions she was doing a good job on hiding, finally broke free. She was a mess.
So annoying.
Her brother, her own flesh and blood, that she tried so hard to stay away from was in front of her. He never wanted him to see her again. But he did. He was right in front of her. How many years had it been since she saw him? He has gotten so big. So tall. Seems like his adoptive parents are taking good care of him. Lily smiled thinking that.
She immediately felt shitty after smiling. Another emotion was coming out. She hated it. So much.
All of the things she worked so hard on building, all of the grounds she established for herself were crumbling. Yerim was trying to jump out. But she can't do that. She can't let that happen. She's scared.
Lily pulled her legs closer to him and hugged her knees, burying her face in them.
What do I do?
What can I do?
It has been a good few hours since she left Doyoung's house. Was Soobin still there? Was Doyoung taking good care of him?
She feels awful, she feels sick of everything. Mainly herself. She hates herself for being this weak within a matter of hours. That's why she hated having feelings, they make you waver. They make you weak.
And she can't afford being weak.
She can't cry.
She can't let her emotions out again.
Lily tried to reach her pocket to get a cigarette out. But realized she had left her cigarettes home. Just like her phone.
Lily sighed. She can't do this anymore. She can't take this storm of emotions and feelings anymore. She just can't. She needs to share it with someone. Not just someone. There's only one person she can think about right now. Jungkook. She needs Jungkook. Right now.
"..Jungkook?"
As soon as the words escaped her mouth something shifted in the room. She wasn't alone in the room anymore. Even in the pitch black darkness she could feel him. Just like he had promised her, as soon as she calls his name, even from the other side of the world, he would come to her.
"Aish, why is it so dark here?"
A thud was heard and the window of the motel opened, moonlight entered through the window like a waterfall, cutting through the thick darkness of the pitch black room. In front of the window stood Jungkook, holding the window, the moonlight falling on him made him look like a prince. Of the underworld. His shiny black hair was flying around with the wind. And his smile made her heart bounce.
Jungkook looked at her face, hiding under her hoodie,"Are you oka.."
He couldn't finish his sentence. Lily didn't know what came over her, but she got up and ran towards him, making her hoodie fall from her head in the process. She ran towards him and threw herself at him, wrapping her hands around her as tightly as she could and hiding her head on his chest.
Jungkook smiled and he wrapped his big arms around her small frame. The hug felt so warm, reassuring, comforting.
"Everything will be okay, Lily."
Lily's shoulders started shaking slowly. She had tried to not cry again, but she can't help it anymore. She just can't.
Jungkook slowly ran his hand through her hair and once again said,"Everything will be okay."
His words felt hypnotizing to Lily.
She hugged him tighter and let herself go completely. She cried harder.
It's okay.
She can cry in front of him.
She can be weak in front of him.
Everything will be okay.
Just like Jungkook says.
___________________________
A/N:
Everyone put your hands together for our Soobin!!!