SHAWN AXCEL'S POV
"Ay, shit! Gago, muntik na. Haist. I shouldn't have let her sit in the couch," mahinang bulong ko.
Napangiwi ako nang masipa niya ang bandang hita ko kaya inayos ko siya ng higa sa kama. Shit. Muntik niya nang matamaan ang kinabukasan ko. Good thing she's sleeping so tight that's why she didn't wake up. Pagod na siya. Alam ko. She insisted to help me with my works even though its all Mathematics.
Hate niya ang Math pero pinipilit niya pa rin ang sarili niya.
"Lolo...I-I missed you," she whispered while sleeping.
Napapanaginipan niya kaya si Lolo? Siguro. Miss niya kase siya palagi.
I smiled sadly and covered her with the comforter. Kinapa niya naman ang kamay ko at hinila kaya napasubsob ako sa katawan niya. Mabuti na lang at nakatukod ang isa kong kamay sa kama kaya hindi ko siya masyadong nadaganan.
I sighed and slowly get off her hands from me."Hush. Sleep tight. I'll be right here."
I kissed her forehead before leaving her in my room with the door open. Makikita lang kase rito sa living room ang kwarto ko kapag nakabukas ang pinto kaya makikita ko siya. I still have to fix my things so that I could sleep after. May konti na lang akong tatapusin na hindi ko nagawa kanina nang makatulog siya sa couch. She's a little bit naughty when sleeping so I had to watch her while doing my work.
I kept on taking a glance inside my room while I'm solving my calculations, making sure that she's okay in there. Mas binilisan ko nga ang ginagawa ko para makapagpahinga na. It's already past 10:00 o'clock in the evening but I'm still facing this stuffs. Nang sa wakas ay matapos na ako, madali kong niligpit ang mga gamit ko at inayos sa ibabaw ng mini-table. I'll just get this tomorrow when I'm going to the University.
"Is your things ready? Are you sure that it's all complete?" she asked when I came out of the room.
Tumango naman ako habang kinusot-kusot ang mga mata ko."Wala man lang good morning? You'd rather care for my works than me? Na-touch naman ako."
"Is this our thing now? Duh. Mukha namang hindi maayos ang tulog mo kaya bakit ko pa sasabihing good morning." She turned her back on me and continued cooking our breakfast.
Naglakad ako papunta sa direksyon niya at dumungaw para tingnan ang niluluto niya. It was just a simple bacon, fried egg, and hotdog. The rice is ready in the table and she's done frying. Marunong na rin akong magluto ng ganito kase nga hinahanda ko ang sarili ko para sa future namin. I said to myself that I'll marry her when I know how to cook.
Soon pa naman. Hindi pa muna sa ngayon.
"Mabuti naman at nakahabol ka pa sa deadline. I thought you're going to have a hard time finishing all of it," Miles sighed in relief.
I throwed my bag on the bench and sat comfortably."Yeah. Its because Zeriel helped me to do it. Kung hindi lang din dahil sa kanya, malamang hindi rin ako makakaabot."
I just finished passing all of my completed works to my subject teachers. Break time namin ng one hour ngayon pero maya-maya lang din ay magsisimula na kami sa pagre-review para sa final exam. The exam is two days from now so we have to prepare for it. Kakaraos ko lang sa mga gawain ko tapos magpupuyat na naman para sa finals.
Ang dami ko yatang utang kay Lord.
"Seriously? Na-late ka na nga sa pagpasa, 'yong babaeng 'yon pa rin ang pinapasalamatan mo? Baka nakakalimutan mong siya rin ang dahilan kung bakit late ka. Wake up, bro!" Miko said irritatingly.
I turned my gaze on him with frowned eyebrows."You don't have to blame her, bro. Ako ang nagpumilit kaya wala siyang kasalanan. No regrets. Swear."
"Oo nga. Alam mo ba, sinisi niya si Zeriel no'ng hinanap ka niya sa room natin. The atmosphere was about to explode and gladly Rynier interfere so they stopped," pagsusumbong pa ni Miles.
Hindi maipinta ang mukha ko nang tingnan ko si Miko."I already told you guys not to meddle with my personal life. Kung anong sa'kin, 'wag na lang kayong makialam. It's on me. Magkakaibigan nga tayo pero hindi kasama ro'n ang pakikialam sa buhay ng isa't isa."
"Do you think I was meddling with your private stuffs? I'm not! Sinasabi ko lang naman ang nakikita ko. Hindi magtatagal masasaktan ka rin sa kanya. Remember that," he assured.
Umakbay naman si Rynier sa'kin para bawasan nag tensyon sa pagitan namin."Chill, guys. How about we'll go to the cafe? Magpalamig muna kayo, baka biglang sumabog dito."
Hindi na nag-init ang ulo ko nang makainom na kami ng frappe sa cafe. It was Miles treat because he got high scores during our quizzes earlier in the morning. Halos lahat perfect niya at isa o dalawa lang ang mali. Habang ako nasa isa o dalawang quiz lang ang na-perfect ko, the rest has mistakes. It was a surprise quiz and I'm not prepared. Todo tapos kase ako kagabi at natulog kaagad pagkatapos kaya hindi nakapag-review.
"Are you seeing each other everyday? After class or whatsoever?" Rynier asked.
Miles smirked."Syempre, magkatapat lang ang condo nila kaya bakit hindi? Kahit naman anong iwas ni Zeriel nakakagawa ng paraan si Shael."
"Sometimes, I'm going to her condo to help with the household chores. Pinagluluto ko rin siya palagi nasa condo man niya ako o wala. Minsan naman dumederetso kami sa mga restaurant after class. But last night, she stayed with me so she slept on my room," I explained.
"Live in na pala kayo? Ayos, ah." Miles gave me a teasing smile.
Miko simply rolled his eyes."Sa una lang 'yan, kapag nagtagal mawawala lang din. Akala mo naman may label na kayo."
Sa halip na mainis ay natawa lang ako sa sinabi niya. Porket kase hindi niya pa naka-experience kaya kung makapagsalita mas bitter pa sa bitter.
It was really a tiring day for me. Konting recall lang sa lessons tapos quiz kaagad na para bang naghahabol ng oras. As if our brain were like computers and we could process it all in just a second. Medyo nakakalito pero pinipilit kong intindihin. There are times that I felt sleepy but I had to control myself so that the reviews will be put inside my head.
Nakakapagod na ewan. Wala talagang break kahit na one second man lang.
"Hi Shael. Ikaw, ah. Hindi mo na ako pinapansin." A girl approached me while I'm placing my things inside the locker.
Binigyan ko naman siya ng tipid na ngiti at nagmamadali sa ginagawa ko."Sorry. I was just busy. Marami na kase akong mga bagay na kailangang gawin kaya hindi ko na napapansin ang mga tao sa paligid ko."
"Oh, really? Does it include dating with Zeriel? Are you having a serious relationship with her?" mataray niyang tanong sa'kin.
Kung gano'n, may nakakapansin din pala sa'ming dalawa kahit na anong tago namin.
I faced her with annoyance."Anong pakialam mo? So what if we're really dating? Bakit ba kailangan niyo pang makialam sa'ming dalawa?!"
"People will definitely interfere with the two of you since you're both popular in different ways. Alam mo na... She's a popular model that was known for being a manhater while you're a cassanova that plays every girl's feelings. Tapos bigla na lang may namamagitan sa inyong dalawa," hindi makapaniwala niyang sambit.
Marahas naman akong napabuntong hininga."I bet you know the saying that 'people change when they found the one' right? She may or may not be the one for me, even at once, I made efforts for only one girl. Wala na akong pakialam sa sasabihin ng iba."
"If that's your opinion, what about her? Tinanong mo na ba siya kung okay lang sa kanya na mapunta sa kakaibang spotlight gaya nito?" pahabol niya pa.
That question was stuck inside my head until the end of our class. Palagi kong sinasabi na okay lang sa'kin dahil 'yon naman talaga ang totoo. But what about her? I never did tried to ask her that thing. Siguro kase hindi 'yon sumagi sa isip ko at naiisip kong baka walang problema sa kanya kase palagi naman kaming magkasama.
W-What if...she's just forced to be with me?
Hindi ko na alam kung ano ang iisipin ko hanggang sa sumapit ang gabi. We didn't have a chance to see each other because we're both busy. Naiintindihan ko siya dahil ayoko rin namang makakuha siya ng maliit na scores sa finals niya. I want her to get anything she wants.
Ako rin naman, tambakan ang reviewers sa lahat ng subjects at curriculums. Kaya nga diretso na agad ako rito sa condo at ginawa lahat ng trabaho ko. I even skipped dinner time just to manage my time in all my supposed-to-do-reviews. Kahit na mag-text sa kanya hindi ko nagawa dahil sa kawalan ng oras. I'm planning to cook her for dinner but it was canceled. Ni hindi ko ng alam kung nakakain na ba siya o ano.
"I brought foods with me. Have you eaten breakfast?" she asked after I opened the door for her.
I shook my head and closed the door when she finally entered."Hindi ko pa naliligpit ang lahat ng kalat ko kaya wala akong oras para magluto. I was planning to eat in the University but you came. Thanks for this."
"You always remind me to eat on time but you're not even applying it to yourself. Ano bang pinagkakaabalahan mo?" Her brows furrowed and walked towards the table where my papers are scattered.
Naglakad ako papunta sa kusina para ilagay ang pagkaing dala niya sa mesa. I washed my hands first before opening it and tasted one bite.
"Final exam na namin. I have a lot of reviews to do. How about you?" tanong ko pabalik sa kanya.
Bigla naman siyang sumulpot sa harapan ko."Meron din pero hindi naman ako masyadong nagmamadali. Unlike you, I can manage my time doing my works and having time for myself."
"Really? Mabuti naman. Dapat hindi mo pinapabayaan ang sarili mo kahit na fully schedule ka," pagpapaalala ko naman sa kanya.
She gave me a half-smile but suddenly changed into a serious one."Likewise. You're the only one suitor of mine that could resist my attitude. Ayoko rin na magkasakit ka."
Maayos na sana ang pagkaka-memorize ko sa mga ni-review ko kaso binura 'yon ni Zeriel lahat. Seems like she just pressed the format button and my memories were vanished in an instant. Ang lakas talaga nang tama ko sa babaeng 'yon.
Its just a simple statement but it gave so much impact to me. Parang gusto ko tuloy puntahan siya sa building niya at halikan. Putek.
I'm not thinking right.
"Hoy, gago! Okay ka lang? Para kang timang. Seryoso ako." Pinanliitan ako ng mata ni Miles habang pinagmamasdan akong tulala na ewan.
Napahilamos naman ako sa buong mukha ko."Mababaliw na yata ako, bro. S-Si...Zeriel kase..She remind me to take care of myself because I'm the only suitor she had. Tangina. Nag-aalala siya sa'kin."
"Shunga! 'Yon lang? You almost got 20 out of 50 and that's the only fucking reason why you're out of your mind? Gusto mong magpahatid sa mental? Libre lang," Miko hissed.
Rynier just chuckled."Ngayon pa lang kase siya na-in love kaya siya ganyan. Hayaan niyo na. Achievement unlock na sa kanya 'yon."
A-Achievement unlock? Talaga bang nagmo-move forward na kami sa isa't isa kaya siya gano'n? Are we going to have a label sooner or later?
Damn. Hindi na ako makapaghintay na mangyari 'yon.
"Wag ka munang pakampante, bro. Malayo pa sa hangganan ng mundo ang kwento niyo," irap na sabi ni Miko.
Kahit na magakibigan kami, kontra pa rin talaga siya sa'min ni Zeriel. Maybe he wants me to stay with my old self that plays with different girls at all times like what he's doing everyday in his life. Pero ayoko na nang gano'n...I don't want that kind of routine. Walang patutunguhan ang buhay ko kung magpapatuloy ako sa pagiging babaero.
Buong sikap at tiyaga akong nagre-review pero hindi ko kinakalimutan ang paalala sa'kin ni Zeriel na 'wag ko raw pababayaan ang kalusugan ko. I listened to the teachers in our lesson recall while taking down notes for my reviewer later at night. Kapag may half-hour vacant or kahit 15 to 20 minutes lang na break ginagamit ko para mag-aral. I could say that I'm hardworking. Kahit nga mga kaklase ko naninibago sa mga kilos ko. I'm just doing this to recoup my late projects. Umaasang kahit na sa quizzes at exam lang makabawi ako.
"Have you seen the news? Trending na worldwide si Zeriel kase nga she's dating a guy daw kase. And you know who's that guy? It was Shael," rinig kong sabi ng babae hindi kalayuan mula rito sa kinatatayuan ko.
Galing ako sa library para magbasa ng physics book at kakatapos ko lang mag-summarize ng dagdag review ko mamayang gabi. And now, I'm sitting here in the bench to read and read again.
"Yes. Sabi sa news, they were dating for weeks na raw. Biruin mo 'yon? Sino bang mag-aakalang papatulan nila ang isa't isa. Like...it's really unbelievable," dagdag pa no'ng isa na mukhang kaibigan niya.
My brows frowned and looked away, confused. Trending? Bakit naman kami naging trending worldwide? Are we being careless with our actions? Marami na ba talagang nakakahalata sa'min dalawa dahil sa dalas ng paglabas namin? Or its really my fault why this thing happened to us?
"Good thing we're on Sophie's side. Mabilis siyang magpakalat ng news about Zeriel kase nga ex bestfriend niya raw siya. Dahil d'yan mas sisikat na siya at malalamangan niya si Zeriel." The girl clapped her hands.
Agad naman uminit ang ulo ko at humigpit ang hawak sa papel na nasa kamay ko. So they were Sophie's spy inside our University?! How could they say that to Zeriel?! Gusto nilang siraan lalo siya para mas umangat si Sophie sa kanya. It just means that she couldn't lift up in the whole industry if she won't do anything to ruin Zeriel's identity.
"Well, to be honest, Sophie deserves to get the crown instead of her. Mas lamang pa rin naman si Sophie sa kanya kung tutuusin eh. She has the perfect personality that Zeriel hasn't," pagsang-ayon naman ng kasama niya.
I couldn't take it anymore that's why I immediately stood up from the bench and walked away. Mabilis akong naglakad at hindi alam kung saan pupunta basta makaalis lang sa lugar na 'yon. I don't really want to hear those negative comments about Zeriel. She's not like that just how I know her. Kilala ko na kung sino talaga siya at 'yong mga sinasabi nila ay kabaliktaran lang ng totoong Zeriel.
She maybe cold-hearted in their eyes but her soft side will show up to those persons closest to her heart.
"Zeriel won't lost her reputation just because of me. I-I can't let it happen. Never!" I whispered to myself as I tightened the hold of my bag.
Instead of reading my reviews, I was browsing on the internet to watch the newest trend about us. Marami kaagad lumabas at isa-isa kong pinindot lahat ng 'yon. Ang popular post ay galing kay Sophie kaya bumalik na naman ang init ng ulo ko. It was the time when we encountered her and that fucking asshole who broke Zeriel's heart before. Sa totoo lang, parang gusto kong lumpuhin siya sa harapan ng lahat no'ng unang kita ko pa lang sa kanya.
'Zeriel doesn't feel any shame while talking shits of me and my boyfriend. Well, she may be influenced by her date. The ultra-cassanova, Shael'
I licked my lower lip and holds my phone tightly. Hindi mawala ang inis ko pagkatapos kong basahin ang caption niya sa post na kinuha mula sa labas ng glass door kung saan kami nakaupo ni Zeriel. It's either she planned it from the very start or there were really paparazzis everywhere that's why it was being captured.
Gusto ko mang pumasok sa last two subjects ko ay mas pinili kong mag-cut classes para sa pagpunta ko sa lugar na alam kong makatutulong sa'kin. I wanted to consult her decision first before doing any move but she may not be aware about the newest trending. Tutok pa siya sa pagre-review niya at hindi muna siya nag-oopen ng social media kaya siguro wala pa siyang alam. Wala rin sigurong nakakapagsabi kahit na classmates niya dahil takot ang karamihan na mag-approach sa kanya. And one more thing, she doesn't care about the people on her surroundings.
"Good afternoon, Sir. Napapunta po kayo rito?" tanong ng secretary namin na si Olivia.
I massaged the bridge of my nose while walking through the hallway."I need to settle something inside the office. Pakisabi sa mga kasama mo na 'wag akong istorbohin. I'll just call you when I need your help."
"Yes po. Got it."
I turned the swiveling chair before taking a sit comfortably. I played with the pen on the table while my other hand is tapping the computer. Lahat ng articles binasa ko tungkol sa issue namin at may sabi-sabi pa nga na kailangan daw ng clearing para maayos. The way to do that is having a schedule of an interview. It's not just Zeriel who's involved...but also me.
Ipapalabas ako sa TV kapag nagkataon. Sikat ko siguro no'n.
Buong magdamag akong nasa company para ayusin kahit konti man lang ang gusot namin. At first, I was literally confused. I don't know what to do to minimize the issue that kept on spreading all over the world. Noong isang araw pa pala 'to tapos ngayon lang sumikat nang sumikat.
I tried my best so that she won't have a clue about it. When she called, I acted normally. Sinabi ko lang na may pinuntahan ako kaya hindi muna kami magkikita. But I promised her that we're going to have a date on Saturday, the day after the final examination. Mukhang bawal siya sa Sunday kase balik na siya sa pagpho-photoshoot.
"Sir, I brought you a dinner. Hindi po kase kayo nag-snacks kanina kaya baka gutom na po kayo." Olivia entered the office with a paper bag on her both hands.
I nodded without taking a glance on her."Just put it on the side table. Thanks."
Hindi ko alam kung ilang oras na akong nakaharap sa computer at huminto lang saglit nang mangalay na ang mga kamay ko. I winced when I felt a stiff neck after tilting my head. When I glanced at the wall clock, I let a curse inside my head after realizing that it's already 10:00 o'clock in the evening. Dali-dali ko namang hinanap ang phone ko at napamura ulit nang hindi ko ma-turn on.
Fuck! Lowbat na ako!
I should've texted her earlier that I'll be back late at night. Hindi naman sa tinanong niya pero baka hanapin niya ako. The last time we had a conversation was 3:00 o'clock in the afternoon. Kung bakit kase hindi ko namalayang pa-lowbat na pala ako, e 'di sana nakapag-charge pa ako kanina.
Badtrip naman oh!
Kumain na lang ako habang naghihintay na magkaroon ng percent ang phone ko. Hindi ko nga lang sure kung gising pa siya sa mga oras na 'to. It's almost midnight. Baka tinupad niya ang usapan namin na walang matutulog ng lagpas 9 PM. Thats our deal...pero hindi ako tumupad.
I need to do this for her. To protect her hardwork and not to waste it just by this.
"Saan ka ba galing kagabi? I stayed outside your condo but you didn't come. Where did you sleep?" she asked me continuously.
I don't want to lie on her. As much as I wanted to tell her that I came from our company to solve our issue on my own, there's something that tells me to stop it.
Ngumiti naman ako nang tipid sa kanya."Dumeretso kaagad ako sa mansion para sana kamustahin ang mga kapatid ko pero nakatulog ako ro'n. Sorry for not telling you. My phone has low battery when I woke up so I didn't get the chance to tell you."
"Nah. It's okay. By the way, did you eat breakfast? Mukha ka kaseng pagod." Her brows frowned while observing the angle of my face.
I sighed and finally nodded."Yes, I'm always tired. And no, I haven't eaten breakfast when I left the mansion. Gusto ko kase kasabay kang kumain. Did you eat already?"
"Uh...H-Hindi pa kase---"
"Kase nag-aalala ka sa'kin at hinihintay mo'ko para sabay tayong kumain?" I cut off her words.
She rolled her eyes and immediately turned her back on me."Feeler ka talaga kahit kailan. Asa ka namang hinihintay kita."
"Nagdahilan ka pa, gusto mo lang naman akong makasama. Halika nga rito." I reached her hand and pulled her back to me.
Niyakap ko siya nang mahigpit, dinadama ang bawat sandali na kasama ko siya. Later on, we're going to separate ways because of our last review. Bukas kase exam na.
"Wala ka bang balak na pakawalan ako? I thought we're gonna eat together?" Pilit niya akong tinutulak palayo dahil naiipit na siya.
I chuckled before letting go of her."Eh, sa namimiss kita eh. Tara na. May energy na ulit ako dahil sa yakap galing sa'yo."
Sa labas na lang kami kumain malapit sa UE para mabilis lang kami na makarating. I chose the place where there's few people eating for assurance. I double checked the whole place that made her confused of what I'm doing. Iniisip niya sigurong nasisiraan na ako o ano.
We ordered a simple breakfast. Parehas lang kami ng inorder dahil matatagalan kung mamimili pa kami ng kakainin. Just two slices of pancakes with honey and coffee will do. Hindi pa naman ako masyadong gutom dahil wala akong gana pero pinipilit kong kumain dahil kasama ko siya. At least, I acted like I'm happy with her. I may be faking my actions but my feelings deep inside is all true. Sadyang kulang lang talaga ako sa tulog at pahinga.
"Bro, ano na?! We're waiting here for almost 15 minutes now. Saan ka ba galing?!" Miles seemed so pissed.
"Saan pa nga ba? Palagi naman niyang kasama ang model na kinababaliwan niya," Miko answered him.
I blinked my eyes twice when my vision gets blurry."Uh...I-I just ate breakfast with Zeriel. Tara na, pumasok na tayo."
"You look so wasted. I have a medicine with me. Inumin mo muna 'to bago tayo pumasok." Rynier handed me one capsule and a mineral water.
"Shit! Sa itsura mong 'yan, mukhang mahihimatay ka na. Aminin mo nga, hindi ka natulog buong gabi 'no?" Miles raised his brow at me, trying to figure out that he's right.
Miko held my forehead but I moved away."Medyo mainit ka nga. What the fuck did you do for the whole night?"
"Sa'kin na 'yon. 'Wag niyo na lang akong pansinin. May quiz tayo kaya 'yon na lang ang isipin niyo," I tried to change the topic.
"Good luck sa last day ng review natin ngayon. Hope you're doing well." Rynier tapped my shoulders and walked away.
Habang naghihintay ako na ilapag ang questionnaire sa harapan ko, todo pikit naman ako dahil sa antok. Sometimes I'm going to yawn secretly so that no one could notice me. Sana lang hindi ako mukhang sira.
"Mr. Helveryst, are you not feeling well? Parang hindi ka mapakali." Our subject teacher was hesitating if she's going to give me a paper or not.
I pretended to be on my normal state and smiled."I'm okay, Maam. Don't worry. I can still manage to answer my questionnaire."
Nang mag-set na ng timer si Maam para sa pagsagot namin, lahat sila ay mabilis ang kilos na nagsagot. Mahigpit ang hawak ko sa ballpen nang maramdaman ko ang pag-ikot ng paningin ko. I felt so sleepy and I couldn't see anything clearly. D-Damn. Maybe it's because of the medicine that I take.
"The fudge! How could I answer in this state?" tanging bulong ko na lang bago tuluyang nagdilim ang paningin ko.
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