The hospital corridor was white and clinically clean. There was just one exception - the small puddle of blood beneath Stella's chair. She and a young and nervous policeman were the only ones there.
After all of the chaos, Stella was empty. No thoughts, no feelings and no strength - empty. She sat and stared at the puddle on the floor, almost as if she was hypnotized by it. She was covered with dirt and the blood on her dress was dried up and dark. The hospital staff tried to clean her up, give her new clothes and a calming pill, but she refused.
Everything that happened after the ambulance arrived at the lighthouse was cloudy. Stella only remembered small flashes - being checked by a doctor, Jasper hugging her, the police asking her questions.
She knew that she was free to go and that Jasper and his family were home waiting for her. They tried to convince her to come along when they left the hospital, but she wanted to stay a little bit longer. She wasn't ready to phase reality. The young policeman said that he could look after her and give her a ride when she was ready. That was over an hour ago.
She just sat and stared. The policeman, she had forgotten his name the same second he said it, was patient and gave her space. He just put his jacket over her shoulders and then he left her alone. Once in a while he said something, but she didn't bother to listen or react.
The swinging doors to the corridor opened. It was Ben. He rushed in and embraced Stella. She didn't move. His breath smelled of cigarettes and alcohol.
"Stella," he panted, "thank god you're okay."
Those words woke Stella from her trance. She looked at him with despair in her eyes.
"I'm not okay," she said with a weak voice.
The policeman walked towards them with a steady grasp around his gun.
"Is everything okay here?"
Ben held up his, showing the policeman to stay away.
"Yes, thank you officer, she's my sister."
"Stella," he said, not trusting Ben's words.
Stella nodded and the police gave them their privacy.
"I was so nervous Stella, you don't understand. It's such a relief to hold you in my arms."
"I'm not okay," Stella repeated.
"What? Oh, no, of course not," he said and kissed her forehead. "I'm sorry, that was a stupid thing for me to say. I'm just so happy you're alive. I love you so much, I don't know what I would have done if something would have happened to you. I promise it will all be okay. I will make sure of it."
Stella pushed Tristan away. Her body was shaking.
"Where have you been? It's been hours since I left the party."
"I know. I'm so sorry, Stells."
"Where have you been?"
"Me and a few of the others continued the party. We didn't have our phones on. I came as soon as I found out."
"You and Tessa?"
"Come on Stells. I already feel awful."
In her mind, Stella saw Ben and Tessa drinking, laughing and kissing while she was bein kidnapped. It made her blood boil. She wondered what they were doing when Max shot Winston. Maybe they were having sex. His eyes were shiny, but not from tears. They were shiny because he was wasted. Maybe he had even taken a Basiil pill.
"I hate you," Stella said, cold and emotionless.
"You don't mean that," Ben tried to convince her and put his hand on hers.
"I do. I hate you and I will never forgive you."
"Come on Stells, you're confused, you don't mean that."
Ben's magic powers were gone. He could no longer enchant Stella. He disgusted her.
"Whose blood do you think it is?" Stella nodded at the puddle on the floor.
"I don't understand?"
"On the floor. Do you think it's mine, Winston's or Tristan's?"
There was a short moment of silence. Ben cleared his throat and moved a bit closer.
"I heard about Tristan. I'm sorry. How are you feeling?"
Something shattered inside of Stella. The innocent question brought back memories she couldn't understand nor handle.
"They won't let me see him. They told me he's gone, that he's fallen asleep. Why won't they let me see him? I know he'd wake up if they would only let me see him."
"Stella... he's dead. You can't wake him up."
Stella pushed away Ben's hand. The pieces of the puzzle were falling together and reality started to sink in. Tears poured down her face.
"Don't say that, he's not dead. He wouldn't leave me. He loves me. We're going to get married. If they'd just let me see him I know he'd wake up."
Ben tried to embrace Stella but she started to hit him and tried to push him away. She didn't want to be comforted, especially not by him. She wanted to meet Tristan. Feel his soft kiss, see his bright smile and hear his kind words. Stella didn't have a chance against Ben. He pushed through her hits and hugged her. She gave up and sank into his chest.
"I'm so sorry Stells, but he's dead."
"He can't be dead. If he is, it's my fault."
"Don't say that. It's not your fault."
"It is. He wanted to run away with me yesterday, but I said no. If I had said yes, we'd be sleeping in each other's arms right now. We were supposed to move in together tonight. Today was supposed to be the best day of my life. We were supposed to wake up together. I know he'd wake up if I got to see him. He wouldn't leave me."
"I'm sorry, Stella."
"I never got to see his hair being messy in the morning or argue with him about silly things like cleaning. He never got to know what it's like to have a real home. He was only sixteen. It's not fair. He had all of his life in front of him."
"Let's go home, Stells. You belong sleeping in my arms."
Stella stopped sobbing, dried her eyes and sat up straight. Her body was exhausted, but her mind was clear. She wanted to look him in the eyes when she said the next thing. She didn't want him to think it was something she said in a moment of weakness. He needed to know that she truly meant it.
"I'm not coming home with you. I'm moving in with Jasper. I meant what I said - I hate you."
"You don't mean that," Ben said, fearful. For the first time since Stella met him, he didn't seem invincible. She felt more powerful than him.
"I do. If you don't leave me alone, I'll report your business to the police. I'd devote every second of my life to making sure that you rot in jail."
"Stells..."
"Don't test me. I'm going to ask the police officer to give me a ride to the beach house so that I can pack a bag. You will stay here for at least one hour. You are not allowed to contact me. Do you understand?"
Ben nodded.
Stella sat silent in the police car. The officer driving talked to her, but she didn't listen. His words sounded like mumble. She rested her head on the car window and looked at the trees passing by. The sun was rising and shedding a soft light over the forest. She thought back on the first time she saw the forest, the day she moved to Alvik. She remembered her excitement and all the big hopes and dreams she had. She wished she could go back in time.
"Stop," Stella screamed out of nowhere.
The police pulled up the hand brake. The car slid on the gravel before it finally came to a stop and janked both of them against their seatbelts. The officer asked her what was wrong with worry in his eyes, but she didn't have time to answer.
Stella hastily unbuttoned herself and opened the door. She stumbled out of the car and ran to the side of the road. There he was - Winston. His body was bloody and covered with dirt and flies. All of the guests from the wedding must have driven past him and thought he was a raccoon.
She kneeled down next to him and scratched him behind the ears - just the way he likes it. He didn't wiggle his tail nor look at her with his big, innocent and loving eyes. It felt like a knife to the heart.
"It's okay Winston," Stella whispered and brushed off some dirt, "I'm here now. You don't have to be afraid. I'm with you."
She took off the police jacket and wrapped it around his body. It was lifeless and already stiffening. Sbe held him like a baby against her body, just like she did the first time she found him. That time she was able to save him. This time she knew it was too late.
She didn't go back to the car. She wanted one last morning walk with Winston. The birds were chirping, as if it was going to be a beautiful morning. She knew he would have loved it. Without saying anything to the officer she started walking. She couldn't risk getting a no from him. He didn't stop her. Instead he got out of the car and followed her on a distance.
When Stella reached the beach house she fell to the ground. All decorations from the wedding were left. It still looked beautiful. It was hard to believe that all the children had been playing with Winston by the water just a few hours ago, and now he was lying dead in her arms. She couldn't keep it together anymore. All feelings came over her like a tidal wave.
The officer ran up to her, sat down next to her and put his comforting hands on her shoulders.
"I'm so sorry for your loss," he said, "please let me know if there is anything I can do for you." Stella couldn't answer. The tears were coming with a violent force, making it hard even to breathe. "Take all the time you need."
It was the first time that Stella actually listened and took notice of his voice. It was genuine. Pain and despair shined through. Even though she appreciated his words, it didn't help.
She would never be happy again. Maybe she would smile and laugh, but she would never feel genuine happiness again. Only Trista could make her feel that. Only he could make it feel as if her heart would explode with love, the only one that could make all her troubles disappear with just a smile, the only one that could look into her eyes and see her inner soul. He was her soulmate, her best friend and true love, and now he was gone.
The old Stella was gone. She died with Tristan and Winston. There was only an empty shell left. She was still unsure if grief or hate would fill the hole. Forgiveness or revenge? Time would tell.