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"Look who showed up! If it isn't the sister of Miss Nonchalance- Mrs. Snubby!" Manik exclaimed as soon as he caught a sight of Nandini entering her own living room where he had been waiting for her since the past twenty minutes.
"I don't know what you are talking about." Nandini muttered to him in spite of knowing the reason behind his statement. She chose not to meet eyes with him by directly moving to the kitchen, under the pretense of fetching water for herself which she needed to calm herself.
Sooner or later Manik was going to confront her and she knew it but she still wasn't ready for it just yet. She had been avoiding him for almost one week and if they were forced to be in the same room given their circle of friends, she acted nonchalant of the tension between them.
Manik let Nandini go and have that moment to herself as he knew that she was startled by his sudden appearance. He had waited for seven days so couple of minutes more couldn't possibly hurt.
Nandini gulped the whole glass of water and then breathed out loud. She had avoided this for as long as possible. Manik won't leave without the answers that he was looking for so, she had to face it now. She replayed the whole incident in her head that happened a week ago after their game night that had triggered this mess:
Manik and Jeanette lost to Sameer and Nandini irrespective of how well Manik had learned to play because it turns out Jeanette was really bad at bowling. After losing, Jeanette declared that they were done with game night and the rest had no choice but to agree. The gang then decided to go over to the girls' apartment for drinks where they ordered in food for the night as well.
After two drinks each, Jeanette and Sameer excused themselves to her room and locked themselves in, leaving Manik and Nandini all alone with half a bottle of vodka. It had been a while, since Nandini had let herself lose which is why she settled on a crucial choice of not stopping.
A person like Nandini would never do that unless she really has a lot on her mind that she wishes to put aside. Manik understood that and chose to pace himself and let her do whatever made her feel better. He wanted to be there for her just in case she needed him to hold her up.
"Maaniik!" Nandini stretched his name while calling him and laughed at it herself.
"Mm-hmm?" Manik mumbled in response, noting down all of her expressions, carefully.
"Your name is soo short but today, it feels like it's really loongg just like you." Nandini said it with such seriousness that Manik couldn't hold back his chuckle. Manik then tried to get the bottle off of the table but Nandini held his hand midway.
"I'm not that wasted, Maaniik! I always tell yo when I'm too drunk so don't you dare kill my buzz before that..." Nandini asserted making Manik shake his head.
"Fine, suit yourself!" Manik mumbled to her and filled his glass for another drink.
He watched Nandini hold up her one hand and it looked like she was trying to count something. She looked extremely adorable to him when she ran out of fingers after five and she was trying to think of some other way to count further. He held up his hand near hers, etching a 100-watt smile on her face. She continued counting and then looked at him with a satisfied expression to which Manik raised his eyebrows.
"You came back into my life around seven months ago, after five fucking years, and if we count the time before that then we were best friends for six years... That's a lot of numbers. I forgot what I wanted to say." Nandini said that and in the end pouted as she forgot why she had begun saying that.
Manik had seen Nandini drunk, a bunch of times but this was before the gap of five years. This night was the first time, she was actually drunk around him and for some reason, it felt different.
"It's fine! Tell me when you remember it, okay?" Manik spoke, gently. She stared at him for a good two minutes making him shift in his seat. He did not know what to expect from this Nandini.
"This is exactly what I wanted to say! We've known each other for soo loongg but you never ask me about anyythingg that might make me feel uncomfortable. Aise toh(usually), you are such a curious cat and you wanna know everythinggg but you make sure that I tell you only those things that I'm comfortable with." Nandini finished her short monologue with necessary elongation of words in the process of saying it.
"I think that's the basic expectation to have from a friend." He said, earnestly.
"I don't know... Of all my close friends, only you and Dhruv understand this basic expectation logic. All the others cannot understand what space means." Nandini said stressing on the word 'cannot' and Manik kind of got whom was she talking about.
"I cannot do much about others but I can promise to be this way forever." Manik said to her with a small smile. Nandini grinned at his words and leaned forward to plant a feather kiss on his cheek. Manik was surprised at her actions but alcohol had kicked into his system as well and it felt like too much of an effort to show her that or even tease her about it.
"From where is all this coming?" Manik asked her.
"I'm not sure, actually.... There's always so much that I wanna tell you but somehow I end up telling you nothing." Nandini said with a sad smile. Manik began to feel a little light headed but he could understand every word of what she was telling him.
"If you really want to tell me something then you would find a way to tell me. And if you are unable to say something then it means that it is better off when you hide it." Manik had no idea how was he understanding Nandini's words in the first place and when he found himself responding with sensible replies, he was surprised at himself.
"You are soooo damn understanding. And this heart of yours... it accommodates me in whatever manner I come up to you. Why so? Why didn't you simply push me away when I hurt you or when I turned you down, that day, at Dehradun airport?" Nandini ended up asking him the one question that she had been seeking an answer for a long time. She was sitting close to him as it is and when she had leaned in earlier to kiss him, she simply stayed there by putting her head on his shoulder so it was easy to poke at his chest when she said the part about his heart.
"It is not a big person gesture or anything. In fact, it was very selfish of me. I was in love with you and I had fallen for your presence in my life. It did not matter to me if you loved me back or not. I was heartbroken, yes... but I was never prepared to not have you in my life. In love or not, I cannot get rid of you and I do not want to do that as well. Not to forget, you made sure of going away from my life when you fell for Randhir so you did not leave much of an choice for me in that department." Manik rambled his thoughts, in a nutshell with a little hope that she might forget all this, the next morning since she was so wasted at the moment.
"Whenever, I'm low, I think of the time when you had told me that you loved me. It always makes me feel better. Even after I turned you down, the only thing that comforted me for a long time was the fact that you loved me." Nandini wasn't responding to his speech but her words caught Manik's attention. This was new. He had never heard something like this from her. He was under the impression that his confession had made Nandini feel uncomfortable which is why he had worked so hard to ensure that he pretended like it had never happened.
"It was soooo weird, you know... After our first year, when I was trying to get over my feelings for you, it was your confession that gave me strength. It's very weird but that's how I got over you." Nandini muttered that in an extremely low voice but Manik caught every single word of her speech. How could he not? Nandini had feelings for him in the past and she had kept that a secret for so many years. It blew Manik's mind in ways that he could never imagine. The mere thought of how differently their lives would have played out if she had told him about her feelings at that time, rattled Manik.
"I was a coward... scratch that... I AM a coward so I can never tell you about my feelings from back then but thank you so much for letting me know that you've loved me at some point in our lives." that was the last thing that she told him before passing out on his shoulders. His mind stopped right there. He could not understand what to think after that. It felt like he was given that one thing which he had wished for, his entire life, only to be taken back in an instant. His first love that he assumed to be unrequited was never that way. She had begun falling for him, eventually, but she never told him about it. Why would she do that? And if she had her reasons then why blabber it to him now?
In that one moment, both emotions grew strongly, inside him- one: he could do anything to undo these past three minutes and go back to knowing nothing and two: he wanted to wake her up and demand for all the answers that he deserved to know about her feelings for him.
He felt the urge to get out of there to sort his head so he decided to leave but not before putting Nandini carefully on her bed. He caressed her cheeks after he had finished tucking her in her bed. Her admitting that she had feelings for him in the past which she even got over at that time, did not give him any rights on her, at the moment. This was almost eight years later and it made no difference in what they were to each other, today but he couldn't help the feeling of warmth spreading across his heart. He pressed along yet tender kiss on her forehead while still caressing her face. He sighed deeply without making any noise as he gazed at her sleeping form and then left her room.
He spent his time with his thoughts for a while before dozing off. The next morning, when he tried reaching out to Nandini, she began her game of indifference which confirmed that she remembered uttering all that to him in her intoxicated state. Thus, began the game of ignoring and here they were, seven days later...
"How did you get in?" Nandini quizzed as she came back into the living room.
"Jen let me in before she left for her date night with Sam." Manik responded, holding his rage back.
"Oh..." Nandini mumbled. Manik rolled his eyes, visibly frustrated with her behavior.
This woman could do literally anything to escape an confrontation. But, Manik wasn't of that kind and thus he preferred getting his answers which he was determined to get from Nandini, today.
"No more beating around the bush, Nandini. We need to talk about that night. You, clearly, remember everything that you blabbered so we might as well talk about it and get it over with." Manik jumped straight to the point.
"I don't think that there's anything to talk about it. I was drunk and I blabbed trivial shit. You should forget about it." Nandini's attempt to dismiss the conversation won't work with Manik and she knew it yet she had to try it at least once so she did.
"You are not getting away with it. Come and sit here. I am going to ask you everything that is on my mind and you are going to answer them, that's it." Manik deadpanned. Nandini, quietly, walked up to the couch and sat down with at least two feet distance between them. He turned to face her and sat up with one leg folded.
"Go on!" Nandini breathed.
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Rate the chapter between 1-10.
Did you expect that the truth would come out in the open in this way?
Have you ever been in a position where you'd have preferred not to know something? Or would you prefer if things are completely transparent between your and your partner?
How do you think is this revelation affect the bond between Manik and Nandini?