With every step Jennie took up the stairs towards Ella's room, she became more and more nervous. Never before did the young mother have to have a talk like that with her daughter.
Since Jennie's dates have never really turned into something real in the past, Ella never met anyone who could be a potential partner to her Mom. Jennie knew that Ella has never ever seen her kiss anyone like that.
And now she walked in on her and Lisa fully making out with no warning. Jennie was a bit scared of the thirteen year old's reaction. But most of all she wondered if this came as a complete surprise to Ella or if she had maybe seen the little signs like Jisoo and Rosie had? Or wether Ella was really too young still to pick up on those things?
Jennie had no idea what was waiting for her behind the door that said "ELLA" in black glitter writing. She had found this door sticker online and ordered it for Ella to surprise her when she told her that she was going to have her own room in the new house.
The brunette felt super nervous, knocking on the white door. "Ella?" But she really needed to have this talk with her. "Can I come in?"
She really wanted to tell her daughter that she wasn't just messing around with Lisa. Lisa was special. Lisa could actually be a real partner to Jennie. She could possibly be what the korean woman has been waiting for for so long. And that made Jennie brave enough to open the door even though there was no answer from the other side.
"El?" She cooed softly when she carefully peaked into the room. Her daughter met her eyes and Jennie came in fully and closed the door behind herself.
Ella sat on her bed with her phone in hand. She layed it down when her Mom approached, there was slight relief in her eyes as the door closed behind Jennie and the girl realized that her Mom came alone. The older one thought that it was probably a good thing that she left Lisa downstairs for now. This was a mother-daughter kind of talk.
Jennie sat down on Ella's bed, trying to meet her eyes.
"I'm sorry Mom!" Ella blurted out quietly.
Jennie furrowed her eyebrows. "What do you have to be sorry about? I'm the one who's sorry that you walked in on this without any warning. Did I traumatize you now?" she asked, trying to bring humour into the situation.
Ella snorted out a little laugh. "No! I was just... surprised."
"Yeah... Uhm... I did not really have time to talk to you. It just happened last night..."
"Oh my god Mom, did Lisa Unnie... like... spend the night with you?" Ella's eyes were wide and there was embarrassment written all over her face.
"No she did not!" Jennie assured her pre-teen daughter with a little blush of her own. "But we woke up late last night after you left us sleeping on the couch and we talked." Jennie tried to explain in a very PG-13 way. "You see, we both feel something for each other and agreed on acting on those feelings to see what it could be."
"Are you in love with Lisa Unnie?" Ella whispered very low, not looking into Jennie's face but rather down at her hands that were playing with the bedding. Jennie's pulse spiked at that question. It was a bit early to talk about love. But on the other hand, the word love did not feel entirely wrong either. She chose to be honest with Ella.
"I don't know yet... I think I could fall in love with her. I like her a lot and I feel happy when she's around. She makes me feel warm and safe. And it's nice when she kisses me."
Ella cleared her throat awkwardly. "Mom!" she scolded Jennie for that last statement.
"What? I'm just being honest here."
Ella ignored that and rolled her eyes. "And Lisa Unnie feels the same?" Jennie could see in Ella's eyes that she was trying hard to process all of this new information without judging too soon.
"She does." Jennie nodded, remembering what Lisa said earlier. "And she cares about you too."
"Would you be ok with this? With me and Lisa... ?" she carefully asked, trailing her fingers playfully over Ella's hand that was messing with the bedsheets.
"Do I have to get used to the kissing?" Ella scrunched her face up in mock disgust and raised eyebrows, making Jennie smile.
"Yes, most likely."
Then Jennie thought about something. "El? Lisa and I have been cuddling on the couch for a week. Did you find that weird?" She thought it was impossible for Ella not to have noticed that she and the pretty Thai woman had gotten steadily closer over the two weeks that they've known each other.
Ella's eyes snapped to Jennie. "No... not really..." The girl seemed a little surprised herself. Jennie tilted her head, looking at Ella, nudging her to continue her thoughts.
"I guess... I'm so used to... Auntie Jisoo and Auntie Rosie... being close like that, that I didn't really question it when it was you and Lisa Unnie..." Ella answered honestly and Jennie smiled again softly because how fucking great was her daughter?
"Mom, can I tell you something?" Ella's eyes flew down to their joined hands.
"You can tell me anything, you know that." Jennie cooed back with almost teary eyes.
"I think... and I have no idea why..." Ella's eyes flashed back up. "but... I think, I would have been weirded out a lot more if you brought home a guy..."
"Ok..." Jennie accepted Ella's statement for what it was. "You know that might have been an option... but now there's Lisa."
"I like Lisa Unnie... a lot. I'd be ok if you want to... date her or whatever..." Ella's ears turned red when she said that.
Jennie threw her arms around her daughter's tiny frame and cuddled her close, planting a big kiss on the top of her head. "El, I know this is new and certainly an adjustment and we have a lot to figure out I think... but I have a good feeling about Lisa! And I hope you know that you can come to me whith every feeling, thought or question that you might have. Lisa knows that me and her will only work out if all three of us actually work."
The older woman felt her daughter nod into the embrace. "Lisa Unnie treats you nice... I did notice that..." Ella whispered and Jennie beamed, cheeks on fire. Because Ella was right. Jennie had never felt more safe and cared for in her life than when Lisa had that protective hand on the small of her back. A habit of hers that Jennie didn't want to miss in her life anymore.
"Yes, she does." Jennie sighed a bit dreamily. She let Ella go again and met her eyes openly. "So, how about you come downstairs with me and we'll make pancakes."
"Is Unnie waiting for you downstairs?"
"Yes. She's waiting for both of us. Is that ok?"
"Yep, that's ok."
*
They went back downstairs together, holding hands. Ella was actually clinging to Jennie's hand like she hadn't done in a long time. The korean woman sensed that Ella hadn't completely shared her thoughts about this new and foreign development with her. But Jennie couldn't do more than tell her daughter that they could talk about anything. She would never push Ella to speak when she didn't want to. She'd come out with it eventually. Jennie knew that from experience.
She was also very aware that she had to give Ella the chance to process and adapt first. Maybe she needed a little time to get reaquainted with Lisa. Because now the Thai woman wasn't just the cool neighbour anymore, she was the woman who was kissing Ella's Mom. And that was completely new territory for the thirteen-year-old.
Hand in hand they reentered the kitchen. They found Lisa busying herself making tea. There were already three mugs on the counter but she paused when the Kim girls appeared. Jennie's eyes flew over their empty coffee mugs and the new tea mugs and she realized what Lisa must have been doing. The young mother herself was in the habit of needing something to do with her hands whenever she felt nervous, so she recognized the behaviour.
She met Lisa's eyes and was hit with the same feeling she had felt before walking into Ella's room, radiating out of the Thai's eyes. Lisa was nervous too and Jennie felt incredibly reassured by it. It meant that this wasn't just a game to Lisa. It meant that she was as serious about this as she said she was. And it also meant that she knew how important Ella's thoughts and feelings were to Jennie.
Jennie gave her a little nod and her lips automatically stretched into a small comforting smile. The nervousness in Lisa's eyes didn't disappear but she turned her focus on Ella.
"Morning Ella. I'm sorry! We didn't mean to surprise you like that..." she confessed to Jennie's daughter and looked at her like she was waiting for the verdict.
Ella squirmed a little and let Jennie's hand go to sit at one of the bar stools. "It's ok... Are you making tea?" she deterred with ease. Lisa looked at Jennie briefly, who shrugged a little, walking over to Lisa's side to get working on the pancake dough.
"Uhm, yes. But I didn't know which one you prefer. I know Jen likes her green tea, and I like the black one... so what would you like?" Lisa asked carefully. Jennie could tell that this was completely new to the Thai as well. It looked like they all had to do some adjusting. But she clearly saw how Lisa was trying, so she took a page out of Lisa's book and did what the Thai would do if their roles were reversed.
Everytime she walked past or around Lisa to get something out of her drawers, she gave a slight touch of her hand to Lisa's back. Comforting and reassuring. And everytime Lisa's head turned a little, trying to catch Jennie's eyes. She relaxed more and more, keeping up the conversation with Ella after the latter had told her which type of tea she wanted.
"Unnie we should make the whipped cream. I can show you how." Ella suggested and hopped off her chair to get the cream out of the fridge.
"I also have frozen berries in the freezer. Goes well with the wipped cream." Jennie winked at Ella and the latter squealed in delight and pulled open the freezer drawers too.
While Ella was rummaging through the freezer, Lisa turned to Jennie and caught her wrist gently before she got the chance to get frying pan out. She bent back up to look directly into Lisa's eyes that were wide open and warm, hopeful. Jennie's other hand grabbed onto Lisa's that was holding her wrist, squeezing affectionately and she lifted her chin up in a silent offer. Lisa got the implication and leaned down to press a light and almost inaudible kiss to Jennie's plumb lips. It was super fast but soft and they smiled at each other, both smitten as fuck.
Ella was too busy in the freezer to have seen the kiss but she definitely witnessed their loved-up faces afterwards. Jennie saw her roll her eyes out of the corner of her eyes as the thirteen-year-old returned to her seat with both the cream and the frozen berries to prepare. But she also noticed a hint of a smile on her daughter's face when she snuck a glance over at her while letting Lisa go a bit reluctantly.
Jennie felt clingy. She wanted nothing more than to be in Lisa's arms the whole time she was making pancakes and Lisa and Ella were preparing the toppings. But she held herself back for Ella's sake, limiting her touches to a casual brush of their fingers when she passed Lisa or a brief squeeze of her arm or shoulder.
Sure, Ella was used to Jisoo and Rosie being all lovey-dovey, kissing and cuddling whenever they felt like it, but she was not used to Jennie being so close to someone. She wanted to ease her into it.
Their pancake breakfast was a full success and Jennie felt like a teenager again when Lisa sneakily took her hand under the table and refused to let it go. All the good tingles went through her when Lisa's thumb softly stroked hers. Jennie smiled into her tea and sighed happily. She felt so warm. Lisa had a way of doing that to her. She felt the Thai looking at her and she turned her head to meet her eyes.
The nervousness was back in her exotic doe eyes and she turned to face Ella, ready to say something. "Ella-"
"Unnie-" Ella said looking up to Lisa a bit hesitantly and stopped abruptly when she realized that they both wanted to speak at the same time.
"You first." Lisa nudged her and Jennie gripped her hand a little harder.
"I was gonna ask if you could take me shopping. I want to buy a christmas gift for Mom and for my aunties. And neither of them can come with me or they'll see!" Ella's eyes flashed over to Jennie briefly before meeting Lisa's again.
"El, you don't have to get me a christmas present!" Jennie protested instantly. She had only recently started to give Ella some pocket money and she knew how mindful her daughter was with it. She thought long and hard what she was going to get with it.
"But I want to. And I want Unnie to go with me."
"I'll gladly take you if it's ok with Jen." Lisa beamed and she met the korean woman's eyes a little pleadingly. She widened her eyes, staring intently at Jennie.
Looking back at her, Jennie suddenly understood the silent connection that Jisoo and Rosie had. Lisa squeezed their interlocked hands and Jennie understood. It was like the Thai was silently asking for permission to use this opportunity to bond with Ella.
'It'll be good to spend time together just me and her.' Lisa seemed to say and Jennie nodded slowly.
'You're probably right. Thank you so much for understanding how important she is'
Lisa leaned over and kissed Jennie's cheek. Right in front of Ella's eyes and Jennie blushed.
"Alright, but small gifts only. That's enough." Jennie warned Ella with a raised finger, fighting hard not to smile like an idiot because Lisa kissed her. "And you make sure she sticks to that." she added with a look at the Thai. She didn't want Ella to spend her pocket money on other people but it was not like she could stop her. But she did like the idea of Lisa having a chance to talk to Ella one-on-one. Maybe she would open up to her differently than she had to her Mom.
"Unnie can we go to Hongdae?" Ella squealed, excited out of her mind, almost bouncing in her chair.
"Hongdae it is." Lisa nodded and shoved the last piece of pancake into her mouth happily.