The wedding is coming soon for a few months. After all of the planning that my mom volunteered, I decided to not be the bride to be involved in that situation. Ever since Christmas, Mom has been taking over the problems to become solutions like flowers, the altar, the rings, my dress, and food. I truly love my mom, she's sweet but she's a psycho when it comes to a problem for a simple, autumn wedding.
Time fell short and my hair grew longer. My hair is like Crimson's hair, long and wavy, more beneath my shoulders as medium length. My sequel of Confine in Secrecy has come to an end. It is now called Release of Secrecy. I couldn't be more proud of finishing my powerful Mia's story. She finally found her name and became a legend of her story of defending the darkness through her name. She had become the true leader of her kingdom of independence.
Through eight months of weighing wedding planings, I haven't seen or talked to Leo since Christmas. I know he's struggling to accept Benjamin's appearance as my fiance, but I love him and he hasn't hurt me. I wish my brothers would accept him for who he is and that he makes me happy.
Through the partly cloudy day in the morning, I realize that today is Leo's 25 birthday. The family and I are celebrating his birthday in our home. With his favorite place in our home, my backyard with the view of woods. Every time I look at a tree, I remember Leo and I would climb up to see the view and see who won at the top. Now it's all gone, for me and Leo, our relationship as Robin and Little John is gone to shreds.
I begin to open my eyes and see Benjamin's arms are around me. I look at the time and it's quarter to 11. It's almost time to make a cake for Leo. His favorite cake of mine is chocolate raspberries cake with raspberries/chocolate fillings and raspberries toppings. It's Mom's recipe but I intend to make a better of it for some reason.
I turn over to Benjamin to see him sleeping so peacefully and so handsome. I move his hair from his forehead and he moves a little, feeling my touch. Then he opens his eyes and smiles at me lovingly. "Hi..."
"Hi..." I smile at him, "We have a big day for Leo today. I'm gonna make the cake, and get everything settled for the whole family to come."
Benjamin nods to me, "Alright. Do you have a meeting tomorrow you mentioned?"
"Oh, shit! Yeah, I have a meeting with Anna talking about the book publishing in London for the night. I don't wanna leave you here alone though."
"It's ok, Lia. I'll stay here and guard our home. In case anyone is wanting to steal your work." We laugh together, "Make sure you call me when you're there, ok?"
"I will... I'm gonna get dressed, and you better too." Benjamin look down with our bedsheets covering his naked body from our little faire l'amour last night. I giggle and wrap the sheets to cover myself as I go in the restroom to get ready for the day.
Here I am in off-shoulder mustard yellow, boho long-sleeve maxi dress while barefoot, making the toppings and frosting of the cake while the cake is cooling. My family came into our home, with smiles on their faces and moving on to the problems in our lives. Mom made Leo's favorite meal, roast dinner, a meal plated with some roasted meat and potatoes, stuffing, gravy, and some vegetables, and Yorkshire pudding.
Leo seems happy from afar to me, but I know he's still struggling inside of looking for an alternative life. Without his father. That bastard gave him a card, nothing else to spread the joy for his birthday. I haven't talked or seen him since he compelled me. I gave Leo his new orange cycle and his smile grins softly and is still struggling to talk to me. All I want from Leo is to talk and laugh together like old times, and understand that life itself can change.
I feel the arms around me as I'm making the frosting, and I already knew who it is. Benjamin kisses my cheek, "Benjamin, I need to finish this. It's almost-"
"Come on, let me have the taste." I look at Benjamin and he's giving me his puppy eyes and pouting. I roll my eyes at his begging, and take the spoon and dip the chocolate frosting mixed with raspberries. I give him the taste, and he takes it in the deliciousness. "Wow..."
"There you go, you have a taste. Now I have to frost-" Benjamin interrupt my thought by kissing me. Tasting my masterpiece along with his tongue, kissing me deeper. I pull away, and I laugh at his childish manner in a good way. "Get out."
Benjamin pull his hands up and went to the backyard with my family. I shake my head and still think about him. My Benjamin. Mom comes into the kitchen with a smile on her face. "Well, I see your lover is distracting you."
I laugh at her comment, "Well, his being is a HUGE distraction." We laugh together, "So you and Nathan getting hot and heavy?"
Mom's face is filled with red and pushes my arm by my comment as I laugh. "As you know, Nathan and I are friends." I give her a look, like really? "Ok, fine! You got me! Yes, Nathan and I are getting hot and heavy, whatever the term means... Are you bothered by it, darling?"
"No, not at all. I'm glad you're happy and Nathan's happy. I'm just wondering how my mother is blushing whenever I mention his name since Christmas." Mom's face turns red again. I point to her, "Like you are now!"
We laugh together and my cake is done all it needs are raspberries toppings. "So Nathan mentioned yesterday that he wanted me to come to New Jersey for a week to take a break from your wedding plans. I'm wondering if Leo can stay here for a week, I don't want him to trash my house."
"Sure, it's fine. I'll let him trash mine then." Mom rolls her eyes, "Hey, you need a break anyway. Hanging out with Nathan in America would be fun! I'm glad you're volunteering to plan my wedding, but for the last eight months. We both need a break..."
Mom hugs me, "I knew you would understand, but above all that I want to give you the wedding you dreamed about since you were a little girl." Mom pulls away and caresses my hair. "Why are my children grown up?"
"Julia, you adopted me when I was 11, I hardly grew up in your life."
Mom laughed at my ironic comment and pointed out the cake, "I'll get it done for you, join the family outside."
I smile at Mom and left the kitchen. As I make my way to the backyard, I see a little glimpse of Patrick and Leo who is showing his brother his present outside by the front door. I walk to my family, Benjamin included as he's sitting on the chair in front of the table. I walk to Della and put my arm on her shoulders. "So, how's your gig coming along?"
"Well, sis, last night, it was a full house. Huge laughter. No drunk man singing Adele."
"That's amazing! Being a banker is a huge turning point. That's for sure" I remember my sister, Della, recommended becoming a banker due to her father's suggestion that she switch it for comedy. I am glad she used her passion instead.
"Well, Dahlia, I took your advice at the young age of 15 before I moved. Clearly, you're smarter than me."
I roll my eyes and hug my silly sister as Mom enters with the cake with 25 unlit candles on top. I look at Benjamin sitting while watching me, he blows me the kiss. I return it. Leo enters and points out to Benjamin, "Benjamin. There's someone to see you."
Benjamin stands up in shock by the appearance, there is a man I've never seen before. His short hair, a mix of pepper and salt coloring, with short bearded-goatee, and green eyes, look like in his mid-30s. "Kieran..."
Patrick says to me, "Sis, this is Benjamin's brother."
Eyes blank, emotionless response interrupt by Benjamin, "Half." Benjamin turns to me as my eyes look at his eyes, "My... my half-brother." Dare I say, he's in shock and nervous all in one.
"Half, whole. It's the same thing.", says Leo.
Kieran responds to Benjamin, "I'm sorry to just turn up." His accent sounds like he's from the north of England, which I can't recognize.
Leo points to me, "I could have sworn you told us that Benjamin was an only child."
My family turns to me, and I went to my incident as I look at Benjamin, blank as I smile along, "Oh, you must have it confused." I approach Kieran to shake my hand, welcoming him to my home. "It's lovely to meet you, I'm Dahlia."
Kieran shakes my hand, gladly, "Kieran, it's nice to meet you too." I stand by with my mom, he turns to Benjamin, "So how you been?" Benjamin hesitates by putting his hands in his pockets as Kieran points to Della, "Is this your wife?"
Leo secretly laughs while Patrick is trying to stop him, and Della comments by his remark, "Not so much."
"Lia, Dahlia is my. We're getting married." Benjamin points out the confusion.
Kieran turns to me, "Oh, it's even nicer to meet you then. Congratulations."
"Thanks." Benjamin can see me, crossing my arms in silence as Mom is comforting me by standing beside me.
Leo walks to Benjamin, smiling smugly, "Kieran, he's a bit late to the party, wouldn't you say, Benjamin?"
Benjamin hesitates, "Well, we haven't seen each other in a while."
Leo shrugs, "Define a while."
"17 years." Kieran comments on his answer, "Give or take."
Benjamin's eyes are on me and I see him in guiltiness, "Well, that's biblical. What happened?"
Leo is still smiling smugly waiting for Benjamin to answer his question, still hesitantly, "Just... one of those things."
"That's a detailed explanation."
Benjamin ignores Leo's comment and walks to Kieran, around the table, "Come on, why don't we get some privacy? Give us a chance to catch up."
"Give him a hug, then." Benjamin looks at Leo past to me, "Poor bloke's come all this way from somewhere very far from Kent, by the sounds of things." Benjamin hugs Kieran, silent, and fast in hesitation. Not so much for a brotherly hug, huh?
As Benjamin and Kieran left the presence, Leo gives me a blank look. Due to the awkward silence of what just happened. "We should sing." Mom moves on from the silence, basically reading me in guilt. "Girls, could you help me with the candles?"
Leo informs me, "Are you seriously going to pretend that... that didn't just happen? Speak to itself, Mum."
"Mom and I are not pretending anything. Mom is doing everything she can for your party, Leo."
"I have to be honest, Dahlia." Patrick points out to me, "I've never heard mention of his brother."
"Why would you have? You can barely bring yourself to exchange pleasures with Benjamin."
"Either way, it's hardly the most attractive of qualities, not speaking to your brother for half your life." Leo leans against the head of the chair, "It's kind of... psychopathic."
My eyes are close to tears from my brother's comment. Everything I did for him to celebrate his day has come to this hateful. "It's not always easy... Fake family." I left the party, leaving them in thought.
Night fell in time, my family went home, ending the party with the dramatic conclusion of the event. Patrick left home early to look after his family in London, as Della is on her way to her gig tonight. I have no idea where Leo has gone, but something tells me he went to his father's. Mom comforted me and she offered to bring the cake to her house in case Leo comes back.
Benjamin never came to me after the incident, still talking to his brother I bet. I begin to read The Giver in the living room. Sitting on a chair by the fireplace in my champagne lace nightgown and robe set as I'm reading. Reading. Reading. Reading. I hear the door slam, telling myself that Benjamin's home. I couldn't be bothered to stop reading. Fury.
Footsteps enter the room, as I am reading quietly. "Kieran, he's, he's gonna stay at The Oak." I turn the page as I read the book in silence. Chapter 13...
"'I'm an only child, always wanted a brother.' Only child?" I look at Benjamin's face in guilt, remembering what he said to me in the past. A lying past. "What else have you been keeping from me, Benjamin?"
"Dahlia..."
"I had to lie to my family!"
"You didn't have to, Lia..."
"For you! Just for you! Do you think I want my family to go over the bullshit excuses again to separate us?"
"No, no, look, I know, I know you don't, I know they don't." Benjamin's struggling to explain to me as I close the book, irritated. Benjamin walks a little to me to give us space. "I-I can explain, but y-you have to believe me-"
I stand up from the chair to speak to him, "Benjamin, he's your family... The family of your flesh and blood who has been searching for you for 17 years! Yet, you lied to me! If you can lie about that since we first met, you can lie about anything!"
Benjamin shakes his head, hesitating to speak. I cross my arms to hear his explanation, or perhaps his lie, "Lia, you have to understand... I've spent my whole life trying to get away from him. Fr-from the past." Benjamin's eyes are on me, filled with tears, "When I came down to London, it meant that I could be who I wanted, I could say what I wanted. So I just, I ended up telling people the easiest thing!'
"That I'm an only child. The more I said it, the more-" Benjamin hesitates as I'm trying to understand his reason to lie to me, "Well, the more it stopped being a lie, and it just became normal.'
"And so I met you, and you were just so visionary and beautiful, and I just wanted to keep up!"
I laugh, still a mix of heartbreak and rage, "So, it's my fault, then?"
Benjamin's shaking his head, clamoring at me, "No, no, no! It's NOT! Y-you, you, y-you won't understand." He put his hand on his head, and his hands are shaking, and panting his words. "You couldn't- That level of shame of just wanting to claw at your own skin until you just don't exist anymore!"
I turn my back from him, I can't look at him anymore. I'm not sure he's telling the truth. I can't read him anymore... maybe it's time to stop... reading our page. "Lia, I didn't have a choice, okay? I did it to survive."
I look down, holding my tears and sobs, asking him a simple question to understand. "What does he want from you, Benjamin?"
"Um... I think he wants to... I think he wants to show me that he's changed."
I silently laugh at his answer, shaking my head. I turn to Benjamin, "And you? What do you want?"
Benjamin looks down on the floor, avoiding my eyes, "I want you not to look at me like that."
"Like what?"
Benjamin's eyes are on me, in tears and afraid, "Like-like I've broken something." I look at the fireplace, avoiding his eyes. "I-I can fix this! I can fix it, cause I am not-not letting you go!" I feel Benjamin approaching me, catching his breath, "Do you understand? I'm not letting you go!! Cause you are, you are... EVERYTHING!! You are everything, everything!!"
"Then, talk to me!! Why is the past haunting you that you can't tell me?"
Fireplace flickering, waiting for Benjamin's answer. I feel the thud on the floor, Benjamin's breathing is becoming louder and louder. His sobbing, his heavily panting, his gaspings all rolled in one. I turn to Benjamin, frightened by the appearance. His whole body is down on his knees, holding his lungs, crying hard... He can't breathe... He can't breathe...
"Benjamin?" I approach Benjamin on my knees, holding Benjamin's face to look at me. "Breathe, Benjamin, breathe for me..." Relapsing my deep breathing to be in the present. Not letting it go. Benjamin's wheezing, and sobbing, I put his hand on my heart, holding his hand as I continued breathing. "I'm here... I'm here... Breathe, Benjamin. Breathe."
In tears, hearing him breathe comes closer and closer to normal. He takes a slow, deep breath, "I'm here... It's ok. It's ok."
Wiping his tears, as he wipes mine as I smile at him sadly, "Is it, Lia?" I come to realize, we both have a past that we can't explain. We're broken in life, united together as one. Love each other, unconditionally. Meeting each other to rewrite our lives together has been presented here.
"You're enough for me..."