14 years later
"SHIT!" I scream over the sirens. This is the third time this month. Swerving in and out of alleyways I dodge the broken glass on the ground and the very suspicious smelling dumpsters.
Wouldn't be surprised if they held a few dead carcasses in them. Human or not.
When I exit the main alleyway trying to run across the street just as I reach the next building three police cars brake infront of me pinning me between the wall and them.
Fabulous.
"Come on Maggie!" Officer Reynolds scolds me seemingly frustrated. Why? I have no clue. Maybe we can split a donut at the station. "Hands behind your back."
"Don't worry Ray, I know the drill." I give him a sheepish smile. He huffs out a breath of air before cuffing my hands and dragging me back to the police car.
I hum a small tune while we drive to the station, looking out at the extremely shitty town we live in I sigh at the familiarity of it. Home, my shitty home. "Beautiful night isn't it?" I ask Ray.
"This is the third time this month Maggie." He scolds me looking through the rear view mirror totally ignoring my question. I wave at him with my cuffed hands. He just rolls his eyes and continues driving. I hum my favourite song as I look around. My leg bounces not with anxiety but simply because I can not sit still. I enjoy moving, being free, going where the wind takes me. I am not a big fan of rules, some I can comply too, others not so much. Ray pulls up to what I call my second home.
Kingston County Police Station.
Good, great even, memories were made here. Endless chats with Ray, chats that he calls interrogations but I call two friends chatting it up. There has been chats over hot chocolate and over a cigarette. This place is way nicer than my residence under the local parks bleachers. It is a lot warmer and doesn't have as many bugs.
Ray Ray says I am here too much but I think that is total bullshit, we both know he adores me. I mean how couldn't he, I have the cutest cheeks ever! Ray loves our weekly run-ins.
He drags me to our usual interrogation room which makes me giggle. He ignores my laughter and sits me down on the chair cuffing me to the table. "Seriously dude! After all of our time together you still think I am a runner?!" I question him faking being upset.
Again he ignores me which makes me pout. He leaves the room keeping me here in this terrible silence. I don't do well wth silence, too boring in my opinion. Tapping my feet on the ground I sigh and drop my forehead on the table. I continue humming as I think where my bestie ran off too.
It has been what has felt like an hour but really only been two minutes before I start calling for him. "Hey RAY RAY! YOU AROUND? IT IS KINDA BORING IN HERE!" Nothing.
"Ugh!" I bang my head on the table. This cannot be happening. If the world ended right now I would be dead meat chained to this table. The undead would break down the door and eat me alive all because Ray took too long to do his bathroom buisness.
Speaking of I have to pee.
This is absolutely totally ridiculous.
Just as I almost lost all hope my dear friend Raymond- is this his full name and he goes by Ray for short? Raymond Reynolds, ha! Kind of has a funny catch to it. I should ask him about that later. Anyways... Ray takes a seat across from me with an unreadable expression.
"What's with the glum face Ray Ray?"
"Maggie," He sighs. "You can't keep doing this shit. Dealing drugs and stealing. You are so much smarter than that. You are ruining your life, you are smart. If you focused on school and stayed out of trouble you could escape this life."
These are the parts of our chats I hate. I care about Ray I really do. He's the closest thing I have to a friend around here, and disappointing him makes me feel really guilty. He doesn't understand I always tell myself. He doesn't get the reason why I do what I do, he never will. I have been sworn into secrecy and honestly I wouldn't want to out certain people to the cops.
"Sorry Ray but I can't. I can go to school and I can be the smartest one there, but there is no way in hell I will ever get out of this shit hole. Smart or not I do what I do to survive and if I stop I dont know what will happen."
"You need drugs to survive?" He deadpans.
"More or less yes." I have never been a lier. It's not really my thing. I do however hold back some of the truth though. Is it to save my own ass? Maybe. Is it because I am a stupid idiot who got herself into a lot of shit last year? Definitely yes.
It's not really my fault though.
"Get your mothers signature." He tells me. I roll my eyes. If only he knew. "Get her signature, go to a rehab facility, get clean, and then all of your charges will be dropped."
Good luck with that Maggie.
"One, she's not home, haven't seen her in months. Second, we live in this shit hole for a reason, you really think we have insurance to pay for that rehab? You are very very funny Ray. I do want too Ray trust me, but under these circumstances I do not see how that will be possible."
"Where is your mother Maggie?" He questions me. I shrug. He's relentless.
"Maybe on a fender bender, I dont know?" I grumble. Okay scratch that whole 'I don't lie' bullshit.
"She's been on a bender for one year now?" He looks at me accusingly.
"I don't know what that woman does in her free time, I am just the offspring." I shouldn't say does, it is more of a did in this situation.
"Well, you cannot leave until these papers are signed by a parent, now if you can get your mother over here to sign it then you can go back to your ways Ms. Giovanni, however until then you will be here in our custody."
Great.
"Can I at least have hot chocolate?" I ask him with a slight point as he brings me towards one of the cells.
"Not until those papers are signed." I groan at Ray. What happened to us being besties? I might just have to find a new officer bff.
"We both know those papers aren't getting signed Ray."
"I know, that's why you can sit here until you decide to tell me the truth about where your mother is, she is in a lot more trouble than you think she is." Ray tells me while closing the cell door. I grumble and before he walks away I do finger guns at him clicking my tongue.
"Oh Maggie." He sighs shaking his head in disappointment before leaving me alone.
It smells like piss in here. I would rather sit in filth than share my secrets with Ray. I do wish I had my backpack though. I have important things in there.
Sighing I lay down on the cot that most likely some raging drunk slept on last night.
I find it difficult to sleep however because all I see is the dirty cement ceiling. Not a sky covered in stars lightened up by the illuminated moon. I have always had trouble sleeping. Whether it be at the station, under the stars, or in my mothers home, sleep was always rare and hard to come by. It might be because I was awake all night waiting for her guests to leave or maybe it was my worrying that the guests would come and join me.
Mama never really treated me like her daughter. She made it known her disgust and hate for me and would never make me feel any more than a worthless piece of shit which she is forced to feed. Forced or not she never actually did. Before I dropped out of school I went to the library quite often and used the computers. I had a lot of unanswered questions that I needed to know. For example, one time I was in health class and the teacher said that drinking milk helps with bone growth. So, I went to the library in a panic because I had never had milk. I researched what lack of nutrition could do to a growing body, the answer? It stunted the growth which leads to me now fifteen years old and a whopping five foot four feet tall.
I never really got the love that I saw the other kids at school getting. I would wait and wait, and wait at pickup in kindergarten for my mother to pick me up and make an appearance. While I would sit I would see all the other parents hugging and getting excited at seeing their kids after less than six hours of being away from them. During that time I never really understood why mama wouldn't come pick me up and why I would have to walk home, rain and snow, whatever conditions all alone at the mere age of six. It just didn't make any sense. Mama was never really around when I would get home either. She wouldn't get home before the twelve on the clock turned to one. When she would come home she would either be high, drunk, or with a male friend that would stare at me. She would end up slapping me and hitting me telling me to go to my room.
It wasn't until I was much older did I realize my mother was a hooker. The men she would bring home were her clients. They would pay for some action and in return got some pleasure from her. It makes me sick and disgusted to know that men payed for her. In my young eyes my mama would always be my hero, whether she hated me or not. But seeing her so low, selling herself for money just to feed her addiction made me sick.
Over the years she started to look hollow. Her skin was greenish pale and her cheeks were empty and indented. Her lips were cracked and her eyes were slightly bulging and had turned yellow. Her hair had bald spots and her hands were shaky. She was a mess and her body finally gave out and the effects of the drugs ate her alive. The once beautiful drop dead gorgeous model of a mom was weak and sick looking. She needed to feed her addiction so one day after months of no clients she brought home a new one. I didn't think anything bad of it and just like every night I fell asleep planning on blocking out what went on downstairs.
But that night I awoke to a painful feeling in my stomach and all the thoughts of my mama being my hero was long gone, thrown down the drain. She was no longer the person her clients were paying for. No, they paid for me.
That's when my own addiction started, it started off as pain pills and then it turned into selling them. I needed food to live, I needed plan b pills, and I needed feminine hygiene products. I sell more than I take the drugs, but every once in a while the feeling of those mens hands on my body get too strong and the only way I could get through the day was by taking a pill.
I did what I needed to survive.
Just like I am doing now.
People like Mama get themselves into a lot of trouble and always drag everyone else down with them. There are reasons why I can't speak, reasons that sometimes vanish when my mind gets in its depressive and overthinking state. But in the end I truly believe I have gotten too far to just give up.
That's why I am most likely going to die in this cell.
I mean it's pretty hard to get a signature from a women who is dead.
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Hope you all like Maggie!
Leonardo is in the next chapter.
💕