" you carry so much love in your heart. save some for yourself. "
As soon as the team returned with Ash, they cleaned him up and he had been put in his shared room with Thor in the Tower. As soon as he woke up, he jolted and screamed. Nicotine quickly wrapped blue tendrils around him gently.
"Calm down, we are fine." He said, emerging from his chest to face him, his form was a smaller halved version of the form he took when in control, although his sharp teeth were nowhere in sight to prevent harm. Ash cried and crashed into Nicotine.
"I love you... I love you so much." Ash said.
"I love you too." Nicotine said softly.
Ash didn't question how he was talking if he had no mouth. He pulled away and rubbed his eyes.
"I'm sorry, I got us captured on purpose." He sighed.
Nicotine lifted his head up and cupped his cheek.
"It was not your fault. If I didn't believe in what we were doing was right, I would have told you. I would have rather gotten Clint and Natasha out of there than gotten them captured along with us." He said.
Ash gazed into the depthless white eyes that bore into his and quirked a tired smile. He snaked a hand around Nicotine's neck and sighed once again.
"I never want to lose you again." He whispered.
"The feeling is mutual, my love."
Ash pulled him down and pressed his lips on Nicotine's non-existent ones. He was pulled close and held tightly. The kiss was soft and short, and he moved away. He noticed the sky was still dark and the city lights filtered through the curtains, how cliche.
"I don't deserve you." He smiled.
"Bullshit. We are meant for each other, we are symbiotic." Nicotine protested.
Ash chuckled, "That is the weirdest sentence ever and you still made it sound romantic." He said.
"Well, I am right." Nicotine said smugly.
"I guess you are."
Nicotine hummed, hugging him and rubbing his back. Ash slumped tiredly and snuggled against him.
"Do you want to go get a snack while it's still dark? I know that you probably don't want to see anyone." Nicotine asked.
"That sounds nice." Ash replied.
Nicotine moved away and retreated into Ash, but still leaving arm-like tendrils wrapped around his torso. He smiled and got up leaving his room, but he felt a hand form in his and chuckled quietly. Ash walked to the kitchen and found Steve leaning on the counter in the dark drinking from a mug, he looked up and his eyes widened.
"Don't do anything or yell, I'm tired." Ash sighed.
Steve put down his mug and nodded, "Yeah, I won't."
Ash went to the cabinet and grabbed a box of cereal, closing it and grabbing a bowl from another before getting the milk.
"How are you feeling?" Steve asked.
"Tired, sad and traumatised." Ash grumbled, the cereal in the bowl and then the milk.
"I know that feeling." Steve chuckled.
Ash smiled slightly and started eating his cereal. The pair continued to talk for a while until they both headed back to bed. Ash walked into his and Thor's room, he wondered where his boyfriend actually was but chose not to question it too much. That morning, Ash woke up to Josh huddled up beside him. He smiled and the boy started to wake up, his eyes opened and they widened as soon as he saw his dad.
"Dad!"
Josh sprang up and hugged Ash tightly. He smiled and returned the hug.
"Hey, kiddo." He said.
"I thought I lost you." Josh said quietly.
"You'll never lose us." Ash said, rubbing circles into his back.
Josh pulled away and there was a knock at the door. Nicotine used a tendril to open the door and it was Natasha, she sighed in relief when she saw Ash awake.
"How are you feeling?" She asked.
"I'm okay." He replied.
"That's good." Natasha smiled.
Suddenly, Thor II came scrambling into the room, the puppy barked and climbed onto the bed comically. Josh grinned and picked him up, perching him on his lap.
"That reminds me; where's Thor?" Ash asked.
"He had to take of something in Asgard and as soon as he came back he had to go out with Pepper to arrange something for you." Natasha explained.
"That being?"
Before Natasha could reply, Thor appeared at the door. He looked at Ash in relief and rushed in to hug him. He smiled and hugged back before a sudden pair of lips connected with his. They kissed for a moment and pulled away.
"I'm so happy you're safe." Thor smiled.
Ash chuckled, "So am I." He said.
"Are you gonna tell him or am I?" Natasha piped up.
Thor blinked in realisation and turned to her, Ash followed his gaze and found a young german shepherd sitting at the door.
"We arranged for a service dog, his name is Yuri and he's trained to help when you get flashbacks." She explained.
Ash smiled as Natasha ushered Yuri into the room, he pet the fluffy dog that licked his arm.
"Now we're matching, Dad." Josh grinned.
"Yeah, we are." Ash smiled.
The rest of Ash's day was spent with his family and recovering, he was happy to be surrounded by his friends.
***
Things had been settling down, Ash had been recovering and some time after he was fit to return to work, he was sent on a mission with Steve, Natasha and STRIKE Team. They were on the quinjet headed for their mission.
"The target is a mobile satellite launch platform, the Lemurian Star. They were sending up their last payload when pirates took them 93 minutes ago." Rumlow explained.
"Any demands?" Steve asked.
"Billion and a half." He replied.
"Why so steep?"
"Because it's SHIELD's."
Ash glanced at Steve and saw his face contort in exasperation. He could feel the annoyance radiating from him.
"So, it's not off course. It's trespassing." Steve sighed.
"I'm sure they have a reason." Natasha said.
"You know, I'm getting a little tired of being Fury's janitor." He sassed.
"Relax, it's not that complicated." Ash smiled.
Steve was unconvinced and turned back to Rumlow.
"How many pirates?" He questioned.
"25. Top mercs led by this guy; Georges Batroc. Ex-DGSE, Action Division. He's at the top of Interpol's Red Notice. Before the French demobilised him, he had 36 kill missions. This guy's got a rep for maximum casualties." Rumlow explained.
"Hostages?"
"Mostly techs, one officer, Jasper Sitwell. They're in the Galley."
Ash raised an eyebrow, Steve seemed to have the same thought when he said,
"What's Jasper Sitwell doing on a launch ship? Alright, I'm gonna sweep the deck and find Batroc. Nat, Ash, you kill the engines and wait for instructions. Rumlow, you sweep aft, find the hostages, get them to the life pods, get them out. Let's move." Steve ordered.
They neared the Lemurian Star as Ash and Natasha got ready. Steve walked over as he was getting his comlink on.
"Did you do anything fun Saturday night?" Natasha smiled.
"Well, all the guys from my barbershop quartet are dead, so, no, not really." Steve grinned.
Ash chuckled as the door clicked open noisily, "Ya know, if you ask out Kristen from Statistics, she'd probably say yes." He smirked
"That's why I don't ask." Steve replied as he put on his helmet.
"Too shy or too scared?" Natasha asked.
"Too busy!" He exclaimed before jumping out the quinjet.
Ash and Natasha shared glances. Seems like he wasn't going to find someone any time soon.