"So, this is it." I said and dragged Niall inside my room. All those weeks I've always gone to his place, today is the first time he's in my house. He has seen it when he has dropped me off of course, but he's never gone inside, until now. I had given him a house tour already and my room was the final destination.
I'm a little nervous because my room hasn't changed since I was a kid. The main colour is pink and it looks like a room of a four-year-old.
"It looks..." He said and looked around some more, "like your mum has put a lot of effort in decorating it."
"Ha ha very funny." I said with a sarcastic tone.
"What? I just didn't expect it to be this pink, that's all." He defended himself.
"I know, it's a bit childish, but I just haven't found the time to redecorate it." I said and sat down on my bed.
"Haven't found the time or was it laziness?"
He knows me to well.
"Might be the latter." I sheepishly smiled.
"Thought so." He grinned and sat down next to me.
"How are you doing? I imagine yesterday has taken a toll on you." He asked while we found a comfortable place to sit, not too far away from each other.
"I feel relieved, mostly." I told him.
"It's like my past has always put an invisible barrier between us and now that I told you, I can completely be me." I explained.
"Okay, that's good." He nodded. Today's been a hell of a day for the both of us. I've been trying to sooth Niall because I know he's nervous about what's to come. I am too.
I noticed something was off when I first stepped into the car this morning. There wasn't playing any music. When I asked him about it, he just said he wasn't in the mood for it. Which sounded nothing like Niall. He's been like that the whole day. I tried to calm him down during lunch, but he just gave me a fake smile and told me he was fine. I knew he was nervous about telling me, I just didn't think It'd be this bad.
I couldn't help but think that maybe we've done this the wrong way. Maybe we shouldn't have forced ourselves to tell each other everything from our past in one time. Maybe we should've just went with it and didn't have to put a date or time on opening up. But maybe this could be good. Once it's done, it's done, and we won't have to deal with that anymore.
"Alright, fuck it. I just want to have it over with." He sighed and ran with his hand though his hair.
"You got this; I'm not going anywhere." I smiled and grabbed his hand to try and comfort him the best I could.
"So, it all started when I was ten. My mum and dad got into this big fight while I was already sleeping. I woke up by the sound of something crashing. I heard my mum shout in pain right after that. God, that scream still hounts me sometimes. I grabbed Mr. Cuddles, my teddy bear, and went downstairs as quiet as possible. I was so scared that in between their loud fighting they would hear me." I couldn't help but imagine little Niall, being scared as fuck, walk down the stairs with his teddy in his arms. I felt my eyes watering just from seeing that happen.
"When I arrived in the kitchen, my mum was the only one there. Just then I registered that the shouts had stopped. When my mum turned around and saw me, I dropped Mr. Cuddles in shock. She was begging me to go back to my room before he got back, but I couldn't move. She was sitting there on her knees, her face littered in bruises and little cuts, blood running out of her nose and her hair all over the place. My dad... he threw a bottle of whiskey at her face." He said. I feel so bad for Maura. How could anyone do this to her? How could anyone get it over their hearts and hurt her like this? The first tear rolled over my cheek, and I grabbed his other hand.
"When I heard his footsteps, she pushed me in the hallway and shut the door. I scurried over to my room and only then I noticed I forgot Mr. cuddles in the kitchen. I tried going back to sleep and pretend nothing happened, but I couldn't. Not without Mr. Cuddles and not with the fighting that was still going on. I heard my name a few times, so I assumed it was my fault." He wiped away my tears that were falling faster and faster the more he told me.
"Please don't cry." He whispered.
"I'm sorry, so sorry. It's not your fault. It's not." I said with a shaky voice and kissed his hand that was still in mine. He let go of my other hand and wiped the tears away the best he could.
"Do you want me to go on?" He said after I calmed down a bit.
"Yes, you can." I nodded.
"I was thinking of things I could do without going down when I heard my mums phone ring in the pocket of my pants. She had put it in there when I went to the kitchen. When I grabbed the phone, it was already too late to answer it. I quietly called 911 with her phone and not much later the ambulance and police arrived at our house. A police officer then came into my room and grabbed me out of my bed. Everyone was asking me questions, but I was too stunned to answer them. I remember a police officer coming out of the door with a ripped Mr. Cuddles in his hand. I don't know what exactly happened in there after she pushed me away. My mum never told me." He was a ten-year-old boy was the only thing I could think of.
"My dad got sent to jail for domestic abuse. I never visited him, or even heard from him in those five years he was there. In the meanwhile, my mum and I slowly got back on track. In 2019 my dad got out on good terms. We got a restraining order against him, so if he ever went near us, there would be consequences. When he first got out, my mum and I never left the house. We were too scared to. After a couple months of nothing happening, we started to live again. I was convinced he wouldn't do anything." He said, trying to sooth me at the same time.
"Please tell me he didn't do anything to you, please." I said through tears.
"Come here." He said and opened his arms, inviting me in a hug.
"I'm sorry." I kept repeating while nuzzling my head in his warm neck. I felt his calm breathing on my shoulder and relaxed into his strong arms.
"There's still a little more I need to tell you." He sighed and kissed my head.
"I know, I just want to hold you for a second." I admitted.
"Please." He muttered and secured his hold on me. After a short silence I finally let go of him, I didn't move too far away though. Our heads only inches apart.
"Two months before we moved, he'd managed to break into our house. My mum woke me up with a look that held so much panic and told me she thought he was downstairs. I quickly texted my nan code red. We had agreed that if he ever did something I would text her that and she'd call the police. But God, those minutes before the police arrived were hell." He said and diverted his gaze away from me.
"He knew we were awake, and he was doing everything he could to make us scared. Scared of him. He knew he had the power to do that. It fed his deranged mind. He crashed things, yelled words and so much more. My mum and I hid in my closet, a bat in my left hand and my mum hugged close to me under my right arm. I'd never ever forgive myself if I let anything happen to her. And I never let him. When he found us and I saw him again for the first time in years, it made me relive that night in my head. I've never been a violent person but at that moment, the only thing I wanted to do was smash his head in with that bat. And I tried to do that, but he was still stronger than me. He'd managed to turn us around and he hit me a few times saying I was the reason he went to prison when suddenly he took a knife out of his pocket. The police came in before he could do anything." He said, his voice cracking a few times from holding the tears in.
"That's so fucked up, I'm so fucking sorry for everything he put you and Maura through. You didn't deserve any of that." I quietly said.
"My dad got sent to jail again and a month later we got a call from them. He had a heart attack." And that seemed to be the final string for him. I quickly wrapped my arms around him and let him break down on my shoulder.
"I never even got to say goodbye. I know he did awful things and I absolutely hate him for that, but he once was my amazing father. And I still loved him. Somewhere deep inside me I still hoped he'd suddenly change and come back home, and everything would be alright." He said in between his sobs.
"It's okay. It's okay. I'm here. You're fine." I tried to calm him down, trying to not let my own emotions take the best of me.
"He was involved in some shady shit and that was what the whole big fight was about. It did make him rich and because we were his only family, everything he owned went to us." He said when the sobs had subsided in just little sniffles here and there
"So that's how you could afford a place like that." I thought out loud.
"That's why." He chuckled. When we both had calmed down, he slowly pulled away from our hug.
"You were right, I do feel relieved now that I told you." He let out a long breath.
"I'm glad. Thank you for trusting me, I know that must have been hard to tell me." I caressed his cheeks with my thumbs.
"I just want to forget about everything to be honest and start over, with you." He said.
"My mum always told me everything happens for a reason. Maybe everything that's happened to us led us to each other. Maybe you shouldn't try and forget it but try and accept it."
"You sound just like my therapist." He smiled.
"Really?" I asked dumbfounded. I never knew he had one.
"Yeah, she's a nice woman. She's helped me a lot after everything happened." He said.
"I went to therapy too after they died. I haven't been there in a while though. The last time I went was before I met you." I pecked his lips and got off the bed
"I go there once a week. It's getting better though. Where are you off to?" He asked.
"I have a surprise for you. Just you wait there while I get it." I said and wiggled my eyebrows. I've been wanting to do this with him for so long and I thought this might help cheer him up.
"Don't let me wait too long!" I heard him say whilst I made my way over to the bathroom. I grabbed his surprise and sprinted back to my room. I jumped on my bed next to him with the surprise behind my back.
"Choose a hand." I asked him.
"Left." He said exited.
'No, the other left." He quickly changed his mind.
"My right hand is your final choice?"
"Yes, that left." He joked.
"Congratulations, you get the cucumber one, I'll have to deal with the watermelon one." I said and showed him the two tubes.
"No way. I'm not putting that thing on my face." He shook his head.
"It'll be fun! Can't you just do it for me?" I asked him with puppy eyes. He sighed deeply and I smiled in victory.
"You know I can't resist that look, even if I tried." He said.
"So, is that a yes?" I asked expectantly.
"Fine." He prolonged the word.
"Yes, you're gonna love it." I hugged him.
"Let's go to the bathroom. Knowing me I'll spill everything on my bed." I said and took his hand, dragging him there. I hopped on the counter and pulled him in between my legs. He softly put both his hands on my thighs after going through his hair with one of them.
"I better go home with the skin of an angel." He pecked my lips.
"I wouldn't expect any less." I said and put enough of the cucumber mask on my hand.
"I'm now gonna spread this over your face. Don't get startled, it's a bit cold." I did what I said and carefully spread it all over his face.
"A bit cold? Where'd you get this from, this shit is fucking freezing." He said.
"Stop talking, you're gonna ruin it." I warned him and playfully slapped his arm.
"Maybe that was my intention." He smirked.
"Oh please, I know you secretly love this." I rolled my eyes.
"I really, really doubt that." He said and scrunched his nose.
"Don't do that, like I said, you'll ruin it." I scolded him.
"But it's itchy." He whined.
"It'll go away when it hardens, you just have to be patient." I said and tried keeping his hair away from his face, but it kept falling down.
"You're hair keeps getting in the way. I'm gonna have to make a little ponytail." I grinned. He closed his eyes and let out a deep breath, which he has been doing a lot in the past ten minutes.
"I feel like I'm on a girls sleep over with all the things you're doing to me." He smiled.
"Blame your hair." I chuckled and took a hair tie from around my wrist. I put his blonde hair together and he looked passed me in the mirror.
"It's like a palm tree." He laughed and I couldn't help but admire his smile.
"You look cute." I complimented him. His smile only grew, and he looked at me with a slight blush on his face.
"Thanks. You look beautiful yourself." He said and pecked my forehead, immediately freezing.
"That shit tastes terrible." He mumbles disgusted with a slight slur since his face mask has started to harden.
"Well, what did you expect, it's a face mask." I said.
"I forgot about that for a moment." He said and pecked my lips again.
"Since that's the only place without the mask on it, I'll have no choice but to kiss that one" he kissed me, "over and over again." He said against my mouth.
"Now that's an offer that I won't let go to waste." I grinned and kissed him back. It's crazy how it still makes me feel the same way as the first time. When he placed one of his hands in my neck that feeling only increased.
"I think it's time to get them off." I said after a while and pulled away.
"Now? Kissing you sounds more fun." He pouted.
"You can kiss me all you want when it's off. It's starting to get really uncomfortable." I said and hopped off the counter.
"Yeah, you're probably right." He agreed and started pulling it off.
"Aw! Shit, this fucking hurts like hell!" He said after letting out a high-pitched shriek.
"You have to do it fast. It'll be over sooner." I advised him.
"Shit shit shit shit. How can you do it so easily. Doesn't it hurt?" He said while taking it off.
"It does. I just don't complain. I'm used to worse." I shrugged.
"What do you mean you're used to worse?" He asked with a concerning look on his face.
"Babe, this is nothing compared to having you're period." I told him.
"You get bad cramps then?" He asked and washed the remaining mask off, giving the washing cloth to me when he was finished.
"The worst." I told him and took the wet cloth from him.
"I'm sorry." He said and hugged me from behind, putting his head in my neck. I relaxed into his hold while smiling to myself.
You gotta love them hugs from behind.
"Let's go and watch friends on my laptop." I said and turned around in the hug, putting my hands on his cheeks.
"Best idea you've had all day." He said and pecked my lips one more time before leading us towards my bedroom.
AN: First of all, I wish you all a happy, happy new year. I hope this year will be your year and that all wishes may come true. <3 I never really had an idea of what should have happened to Niall, so I just wrote something, and this came out of it. Hope you still liked it! Vote and comment if you did! It'll help this story get noticed if you do. Lots of love -E
AN (older me): i promise it doesn't get any worse than this lol. I was fourteen like omg why did my mind go there. and again the fluff lol I can't with myself.