•Epilogue
Kasey
I woke up to the sound of a heart monitor constantly beeping. I looked around my surroundings and noticed that I was in a hospital room.
"Damn," I groaned, laying right back down. I was in so much pain that I could barely move.
Looking down, I noticed a bandage wrapped around my waist. I tried to move but I couldn't get up, feeling so much in pain.
The last place I remembered was outside the factory. Everything else is a blur after that. I tried to think what happened after that but I couldn't remember.
I hear a door open causing me to look up and see that it was a female doctor. "You're up!" She announced cheerfully causing me to furrow my brows at her high spirit.
I just woke the fuck up. Chill out.
I tried to move up, but she quickly went over to me. "You can't move, sweetie. You're still in pain."
"Fuck," I groaned. "How long I've been out?"
"About a week."
A week?
Once again, I tried to sit up feeling myself panic wondering if my baby was alright. But I couldn't. The pain was too unbearable that I just laid there.
"You don't understand. I gotta go," I mumbled.
"Not in your condition. You've lost a lot of blood that it caused you to be in a coma. We didn't know when you were going to wake up."
I was worried because I don't know where everyone is or what happened.
I didn't know about anything that it caused me to get angry. I'm laying here in a fucking hospital bed having no idea what happened.
Slowly, I was starting to lose my patience. "Fuck that, just get me outta here."
"I can't do that, sir. You need to rest."
I could only get even more frustrated. Despite the pain, I ripped the IV from out of my arm causing blood to trickle down my arm.
"Sir, I will need you to stay calm." The lady sound about frightened as hell, but I don't give a fuck.
The sound of a door opening again could be heard. I looked over and saw that it was Gee. The nurse quickly looks over at him. "He can't calm down. He just woken up not too long ago."
I was relieved to see that he is here. "Gee, tell me what the fuck is going on."
"There's a lot I have to tell you."
The nurse just let us be as Gee took a seat on my bedside. He had this unreadable look on his face. I'm not going to front but I was glad to see him. So happy that I had pulled him into me, wrapping my arms around him.
The thing is, he didn't look as excited to know that I'm finally up. He just sat there with this sad expression on his face.
"What's wrong, baby?"
He dropped his head with this glint of sadness in his eyes. "So much has happened in a week, I don't even know where to start..."
"Well tell me something. I'm confused as hell on what's going on."
Gee removed my arms from around his waist. "Tobias is serving a lot of time."
Just like that, my whole mood shifted. Then I suddenly remembered him saying that he was going to be responsible for everything that happened—basically taking the fall for us.
"How long?"
Gee bit his lip, hesitating to answer.
"How long, Gee?" I repeated.
He looked me in my eyes. "Twenty—twenty five years to life."
I shook my head. This couldn't be true. None of this shit should had never happened. Not only just that but we lost a lot of our colors to the cops and Santana.
"Kasey?" He spoke when he noticed that I wasn't going to talk.
I just continued to stay silent, angry that I missed everything.
"I'm um... Done with Notorious. I wanna put all this gang shit aside, y'know? Do something different. I don't know what it's going to be, but I want to do better."
My brows furrowed. "Ain't that's what you always said? You wanted to do is stop?"
"Yeah but..."
"But what? I'm tired of you beating around the bush on everything. Just tell me what the fuck you gotta say." Instantly becoming annoyed by him not telling me much.
"I can't be with you anymore, aight? Too much has happened a-and I almost lost you. It was scary, Kasey."
My shoulders slumped as I just wondered—why? Why is he breaking up with what we have? Ain't it supposed to be us against the world?
I just chuckled even though nothing is funny.
He continued on. "It's clear that you want to do something different, and I do too. I just don't see no future with us with all that we got going on, but we can still be cool you know..."
I was hurt after hearing him say all that.
"That's what you really want, Gee?" I asked, hurt.
He tears his eyes away from mine, too scared to even look me in my damn eyes anymore.
"The funny thing is... I just woke up happy to see you and I get this news." My attention goes to look out the window. "The one person I need the most is leaving me. I done already lost everyone else. I can't see my brother and sis, my mom is dead, my aunt turned her back on me, Tobias is no longer going to be here... And you just leave me? The one person I thought that would never leave and continue to love me. What about you loving me?"
I can't ever win.
"I do love you but—"
"Then why are you leaving me? Was all that bullshit? Was everything we had was bullshit?" I grabbed his hand. "Look at me."
Gee turned his head, so he was facing me again. The look in his eyes were filled with nothing but hurt. I'm hurt too, he made me feel this way.
"No, none of that was bullshit. I really do love you and it has been a long week for me since you been in a coma... I've been depressed. You've lost so much blood that you could've died... We had a match, and I gave you mine. I couldn't just let you die."
That proves that he loves me because he could've left me to die. Then why is he leaving me?
I took in his words. If he was depressed that I was in a coma then why would you leave me after everything we've been through together?
"It was a hard choice for me but it's for the better." He leaned closer to my face and plant his lips against mine.
Normally, I would have kissed back but I don't. Instead, I push him away from me. For the first time, I push him away from me. Ain't no kiss going to make me feel better, whether it's a goodbye or not.
And it seems like I would have never done that to Gee.
"Nah, stop. Man, fuck up outta here for real. You wrong, Gee. You know how I feel about you."
I've never felt so hurt.
He looked taken aback for a second, not used to seeing me react this way. "Wha—"
"I ain't gonna tell ya ass again. Fuck up outta here. I don't want you around me if you're not going to be with me. I just woke up from being in a coma and you're going to do this to me?"
That shit was not right.
Tears were in his eyes, but I don't give a fuck. He did this to himself coming in here and saying all that, knowing damn well how I feel about him.
He slowly got up from off my bed.
"I'm sorry, Kasey," he lowly apologized. "It was a hard choice. Believe me on that. Maybe it'll be better if we aren't together. You continue to do you, and Imma do something different. Just know that I do love you though."
"I should have never got close to you. Talking to you was a mistake."
The words slipped from my mouth. I didn't care though because I'm angry that he is leaving me on some bullshit. I know I don't mean it but he hurt me more than that bullet ever did. How he going to turn his back on me now?
I can't take back all those good moments we had with each other. Nothing will ever compare to what we had before and the fact that he wants to break up is something.
"You don't mean that—"
"What are you still doing here? You said you done with me so then leave." It was taking everything in me to stay calm and not lash out. I'm used to people I love walking out of my life. "You don't care how I'm feeling otherwise if you did, then you wouldn't be doing this to me. Maybe what we had wasn't real."
By now, his tears rolled down his cheeks. I wasn't about to comfort him and he chose to do this. Yeah my words maybe effected him but it ain't nothing compared to what he is doing to me right now.
"Just know that I still do love you," I hear him lowly say.
My eyes stayed on something else. I didn't even bother to look at him.
I hear the door open and close. Feeling myself get angry all over again, I grabbed the nearest thing which so happened to be a tv remote and chucked that shit at the wall.
How can you do that to someone you love? So many questions flowed throughout my brain. He knows that I can't ever get over him.
"It's been a while since I last seen you, bro," I said to Boogie's grave marker.
It's been weeks since I've been out of the hospital. I was slowly healing—still feeling pains here and there around my side area. But the doctors said I'll probably feel like that for a couple months.
I was crouched down, putting down some flowers on his grave.
There were so many flowers from other people along with black bandanas and other such.
His birthday is today. My nigga could have been twenty.
"Man, life has been crazy since you left." I start to reflect back on the events that happened in almost the past year. "Got revenge on the nigga who killed you, but it still doesn't make me feel any better because you're not here."
Tears welled up in my eyes, thinking back on what I'm going through. Everybody in my life either die or turn their backs on me.
My mom is dead from fucking cancer.
Boogie is dead because of him dating some Santana member's sister.
My aunt practically disowned me for being gay.
I can barely see my brother and sister now.
Tobias is locked up.
Gee just left me.
I feel like I got no one, and everything is my fault. I'm hurting so much, so much that I don't even bother to wipe the tears that is streaming down my cheeks.
After all these years, I'm crying for the first time in a long time. I just can't help it. I don't cry because I feel like I'm too weak when I do that shit.
"Kasey?"
I ignored the voice until I felt someone wrap their arms around me.
"I'm so sorry," they softly said to me.
I didn't know who it was, but the voice does sound familiar to me. Not caring anymore, I just cried harder.
I looked up and saw that it was Tasha, Boogie's baby mama. I haven't seen her in a while. I didn't know I needed a shoulder to cry on until I felt her arms around me.
"I know it's tough."
She probably thinks it's just about Boogie, but it's about everything.
BJ was there watching the whole thing. He probably thought it was unusual to see me in this state, considering that I be playing around with him whenever I see him.
He wiped my tears away with the back of his lil hand. Looking at him is like looking at Boogie—which gets me more emotional.
"Why so sad? Was wrong?" He asked, brows furrowed.
I quickly wiped my tears from my face, occasionally still sniffling.
"I here," he crouched to give me a hug. "Daddy hug me when I was sad."
Of course, I couldn't help but to break out into a small smile. They're more alike in ways I never knew.
Boogie may be gone but I can see that he's still here as if he's living through his son.
I guess all I gotta do is keep on pushing. This color shit might just get anybody killed, but for me—Imma continue to stay strong and continue on my grind. I got caught up in the wrong bullshit. The wrong people. And even the wrong ties. But I got a lot to learn since I'm still young. I gotta live life to the fullest.
Even if that means I have to do it all alone.
The End
I know y'all might hate me for the ending, but let's be honest though, this was the best way to end the book. Pls don't beat my ass—
But in all seriousness tho, thanks for reading this book especially from the beginning up to this point. I appreciate you all. It's been one hell of a year.
Before you cuss me out again🙄don't be too sad. I already got started on the sequel. Just lmk when you want it to drop. I'm thinking about this week but it's up to y'all. The sequel will be about Amir and Kasey's brother, Rylos—that's all I'm saying.
Again, thank you for taking your time and reading this book all the way through, it means a lot! I appreciate every vote and funny comments. Sometimes I'll be having a shitty day and y'all be making my day with your funny comments. Love you all!
Hopefully I get to see you all in the sequel❤️