++ C H A P T E R | T H I R T Y - T H R E E ++
Mat was all smiles when he got home. Elliott noticed that immediately as she got changed for work.
Yes, work. Elliott was finally going to suck it all up and return to work. She missed Wes, even though she wished she didn't. And even though she knew being with Wes, whatever that meant, wasn't supposed to happen.
Everyone around her always got hurt. Everyone around her always were in danger. The thought of Mother reaching Wes made her stomach churn.
Elliott didn't want to think about it.
"Why are you so happy?" Elliott teased Mat, ruffling the boy's hair. It was so unlike Elliott that for a moment, Mat just looked at Elliott as if she had five heads. To Mat, Elliott had always been brooding and moody, never smiling. Never playful. Never happy.
Mat liked this new Elliott.
"I got the big brother I've been waiting for!" Mat jumped up and down, waving the paper work in Elliott's face. "And it gets better! Brent is my big brother!"
Elliott's face paled for a moment. She liked Brent, and valued him as a friend, but she realized almost immediately that Brent was going to be around more often now. And Brent being involved in Elliott's home life meant Brent was going to be put in danger.
But, Mat was happy, and Elliott realized this. This meant that Elliott had to be happy also.
"That's so great, Mat. When do you guys meet?"
Mat looked at the ground suddenly, his mood changing. "That's the thing. I have to meet with my guidance counselor about everything on Friday. The day of your game."
Elliott had been pumped about the game on Friday, and Anna had promised that she'd try to take off work to watch Elliott. Mat and Adrian also promised that they would make it.
Elliott's chest felt tight, but she smiled through the tears of betrayal. Why would they do this to me? After all I've done, I ought to smack some sense into him!
But that thought wasn't her own, but mother's. And it frightened her to the point of silence. She had just thought about smacking Mat, and it paralyzed her with fear. There was nothing she could do but repeat to herself that she wasn't Mother, she wasn't Mother, she wasn't Mother.
But aren't I?
"Oh no, I knew you'd be upset!" Mat wailed, wrapping his arms tight around Elliott. "Please don't be mad, Ellie! I tried to schedule another time, but the guidance counselor said I didn't have a choice! But I promise I'll be at all your other games. I promise!"
Elliott couldn't be mad at Mat - it wasn't his fault. But, that didn't stop Elliott from feeling the sting of betrayal.
"It's fine, Mat. I have to get to work."
Mat knew it wasn't fine, but he didn't say anything else as he watched Elliott stalk out of the house. He had ruined Elliott's mood, and nothing felt worse than knowing he'd taken Elliott's smile away. Such a rare sight, and Mat knew he'd ruined it.
Elliott nearly ran to work. She didn't want to stay upset, and she most certainly didn't want to continue thinking about how similar her thoughts were to Mother's. She practically was Mother!
When she entered the shop, Wes wasn't there. Mark stood at the counter, which was rare, and he smiled upon Elliott's arrival.
He knows you're a girl, Elliott reminded herself as she took a deep breath. She walked up to the counter and tested out a smile that felt foriegn on her face. "Hey, Mark."
Mark was shocked at how calm Elliott seemed. Lately, Anna had been very worried about Elliott's recent coming-out-of-the-gender-closet, but Elliott seemed fine. Happy, even. And Mark couldn't wait to tell Anna just how good Elliott looked.
"Hi, Elliott. Wes is running errands, but he'll be back soon." Mark looked down to the watch on his wrist. "In a few minutes, actually. If you want, you can get started on the pies out back."
Elliott nodded, still smiling. Genuinely this time, because she was happy that Wes wasn't here right now. She wasn't sure she could face Wes after what had happened last time.
We kissed. He likes me. He likes me.
Elliott busied herself with the pies. She tried not to remember the last time she was in this position, with Wes so close she could practically smell his shampoo. Wes had been so close, she could count his freckles and count his eyelashes.
She had kissed him.
Elliott ran her fingers through her hair. She needed to focus her mind on something that didn't have to do with Wes. Something that wasn't nearly as mind boggling and distracting. Which didn't last long, because before Elliott could settle her mind on something else, Wes walked through the back door with a smile on his face.
Elliott turned towards him and swallowed down her fear. Swallowed down her obvious attraction. Wes stood there shirtless, wiping his forehead off with his white wifebeater. It was a scene out of a movie, where the cowboy was trying to seduce the female protagonist by taking off his shirt and showing his muscles, which were covered in sweat from all the hard work he had been doing.
Wes was that cowboy. And Elliott, whether she liked it or not, was that female protagonist.
Except, she wasn't nearly as smooth as the female protagonist should be. Instead, she fidgeted so much she knocked over a stack of pies onto the ground. And then she was shaking so hard she could barely pick them up.
Too obvious. Too obvious!
Wes found the entire ordeal hilarious, and pointed this out through his laughter. Elliott, on the other hand, didn't think it was hilarious at all. She felt it was humiliating, embarrassing, life changing.
He was still shirtless, and crouched next to her. "You know how to make a scene, huh?"
Elliott's face was on fire - she could feel it. Still, she looked him in the eye, trying to appear normal. Trying to seem like seeing him shirtless wasn't a big deal.
Elliott wasn't even sure why she was having this reaction. She'd seen Adrian shirtless countless times. Brent as well. But, Wes felt different, and she didn't like it. Didn't think she deserved it.
"I'm naturally clumsy," Elliott offered, gathering up what was left of the pies.
"Yet you're the best on your soccer team?" Wes grinned, standing up with the pies in his hands.
"Well, that's different." Elliott concluded, turning away from the farm boy. Soccer was different - always had been. She didn't know why she was so good at it when she'd never played it before escaping Mother's clutches. She also wasn't sure why she felt at home while playing it when months before, she had nearly hated it.
It's because of Brent, Elliott could stop the thought from leaking through.
Elliott didn't want to believe that - she was trying not to get attached to Brent, her old tormenter. She could remember from the beginning of this year, with his frowns and glares and rude remarks. But now, he was completely different. He was friendly and nice and caring.
Brent wasn't the same person he was last year.
And Elliott had to admit to herself that she liked that. She liked that Brent was kind towards her, and that he was genuinely funny. The two weren't even really friends, but they were almost there, bridging the gap between soccer teammates who hate each other and friends.
Elliott wasn't so opposed to it anymore.
And then, when Wes waved a hand in front of her face, Elliott realized she'd been thinking of Brent for far too long.
"What?"
"You spaced out for a moment. We have to rebake these pies."
Elliott had been so zoned out that she didn't see Wes put a shirt back on. She shook her head of the daze and got to work, pulling out the rolling pins and the dough. Making pies was almost second nature now.
* * *
Back at home, Mat pressed his ear to the door. Anna and Mark were in Anna's bedroom, discussing Elliott, and Mat was interested.
He usually didn't snoop - he knew better - but seeing Elliott in such a good mood had made Mat curious as to what was going on with Elliott. His hero.
He could hear Mark's muffled voice through the door. "Elliott's doing a lot better at work, Anna. I really think she's getting better. That maybe work is teaching her how to forget her past and take control of her future."
"I'm really glad to hear that! After the whole gender debacle, I was really worried for her. She's so fragile! But, I think you're right. Her at work is really helping. Plus, she really likes Wes, and he's a great friend for her. A friend, can you believe it? It makes me so happy to see her happy!"
"As you should be!" Mark took a pause. "Has she mentioned anymore hallucinations?"
Anna was silent for a moment. "No, but that doesn't mean they don't happen. I want to bring Elliott to someone for help with that, but I don't want to freak her out. I don't want her to relapse."
There was a murmur of understanding, but that was it. And before Mat could turn away, he felt someone yanking at his arm.
"Adrian, what?" Mat questioned irritably once they were in his own bedroom.
"Why were you listening in on their conversation?" Adrian demanded, crossing his arms over his chest. "You know that isn't right."
"Yeah, but I just wanted to know more about Elliott!"
Adrian rubbed his forehead. "Still, it's wrong."
"You're wrong," Mat mocked, but then he hung his head. "Sorry, that was uncalled for and rude."
Adrian was about to ask if Mat was feeling alright, but Elliott flew up the stairs with a smile on her face. A smile bright enough to blind the sun.
"Guess what?"
Adrian and Mat just stared at Elliott.
"Wes is coming to my soccer game, so it's okay if you guys can't make it."
And then Adrian and Mat watched, silently, as Elliott flew into her room, the smile never leaving for a second.
* * *
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