𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞 : 𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐝𝐞𝐫
❝ remember forever, the
beautiful moment now. ❞
⁻ ᵐᶜⁿᵈ ⁻
ᵕ̈♡˳೫˚∗
to say that it had been an awkward few minutes would've been a massive understatement with both couples looking expectantly at the other as though waiting for some kind of prompt or invitation to conversation.
out of the four, the only one that seemed genuinely excited to be there was none other than ji changmin, the boy humming a tune under his breath as he peacefully read through the menu while the others exchanged glances as though asking how and why such a situation had come about.
kevin refilled his glass of water yet another time, seemingly taking shots with the very much non-alcoholic drink while jacob tried his best to remain composed as he too looked through the menu, trying to decide what to order for himself. and in comparison to the smiling cheerful ji changmin was the boy right next to him who had been biting his lip under the mask in an attempt to calm himself down.
the restaurant that they had went to was a place near the university which had evoked numerous positive reviews from their peers and the netizens alike and made them (more specifically, kevin and changmin) curious to try it out. while jacob had calmly agreed, inside chanhee's head was a warzone.
he knew that with people singing its' praises, it was bound to be crowded and the fact that they had gone during dinnertime on a friday was further confirmation of just how packed it would be with tons of people both inside and outside the restaurant and the line seemingly unending.
it was daunting to say the least. chanhee felt immensely uncomfortable but he knew he had to deal with it, to cope with the fact that such a place felt suffocating and made him feel as though he were being watched although he knew deep down that that was far from the truth. chanhee tightened the grip of his mask on his nose, slowly skimming through the menu and attempting to focus all his attention onto the words on paper rather than the noise surrounding him.
"are you okay?" chanhee glanced sideways to see changmin with a slight frown as the boy placed a hand on top of his, his eyebrows furrowed in worry. "is it too much for you? i don't mind going back now if it's-" chanhee shook his head.
"i'm alright," he forced out, kevin and jacob now too engrossed in the menu to pay them any mind. changmin pouted, locking his fingers with chanhees' which made chanhee smile ever so slightly despite his rattled nerves. "don't worry about me ji."
changmin hesitantly nodded but even when they ordered their food, he had taken the extra effort to order for chanhee, keeping their hands locked under the table and providing him with a quiet reassurance that he need not be worried.
it was times like these that made chanhee question if he truly deserved such a person in his life. ji changmin was everything kind and beautiful wrapped into a single person and yet that person had decided to shower him of all people with their care and affection.
although he knew that he should no longer think of things in such a way, he still couldn't help but hear the voices of his relatives accusing him of being a murderer and shaming him for showing his face to the world so boldly as though he had done no wrong.
he felt changmins' grip tighten, snapping him out of his daze to see jacob and kevin sitting in front of them, no longer preoccupied by the menu but looking at him with concerned gazes that, in chanhee's mind, transformed into judgemental ones.
"you look pale chanhee," jacob said, quickly putting water in his cup as kevin used the menu to lightly fan him. "are you feeling okay?"
he tried to force words out but slowly, it felt as though the entire room was staring at him causing him to reach to his collar for the rose pin, a calming ritual he had developed since he was a kid.
"hey guys, do you mind if we leave first?" changmin asked, chanhee wanting to tell him that he didn't need to go to such lengths but finding his chest to feel too tight to even speak. both kevin and jacob nodded, jacob taking out some fever medication in case chanhee had been suffering from a high temperature. "just cancel our order!" changmin said with a smile as he held onto chanhee's arm and led him out of the restaurant and to a quiet place.
once outside, changmin unclipped the penguin keychain from his bag. "is big nyu okay?" he asked in a sweet, slightly higher tone of voice, placing the penguin on his palm and tilting its' head slightly. "little nyu and changmin are worried for big nyu."
"i...i don't do too well with crowds so i'm sorry for that ji-" changmin took hold of the penguins' arm and lightly tapped chanhees' cheek in what was supposed to be a slap.
"and why's that something to be sorry about?" changmin said, still speaking through the penguin who he had now placed on chanhees' shoulder.
"you wanted to go there but i got stressed out and i know it's all in my head but i-"
"but changmin doesn't care where he goes as long as you're able to be comfortable there with him," changmin muttered, the penguin now leaning on chanhees' neck. "so don't apologise please." changmin clipped the penguin back onto his bag and returned to his own voice. "wherever it may be, i like it as long as you can smile freely chanhee so please don't feel guilty for something out of your control," changmin said, gently lifting chanhees' head and placing both hands on his cheeks.
"what're you doing-" changmin slowly removed the mask and using his index fingers, he lifted the corners of chanhees' lips into a smile, a laugh escaping him at the sight before he placed a chaste kiss on his lips. "you're truly one of a kind ji changmin," chanhee stated with changmins' hands still on his cheeks.
"i know," he said with a small shrug. "are you feeling better?" chanhee nodded and once he did, changmin wrapped his arms around him in a hug, chanhee resting his head on his shoulder once he did so.
"hey ji?" changmin hummed in response. "i can't explain the reasons for my actions just yet since i myself am struggling to cope with them but i hope that you know that it's not because i don't trust you but rather i-"
changmin lightly tapped his back. "you don't need to explain to me. take as long as you need - i'll wait regardless," he said.
and, for the first time in a while, chanhee no longer heard the voices of his relatives echoing in his mind and all that remained was the words of ji changmin which drowned everything else out and allowed chanhee to truly feel as though home was a person.
"tomorrow's my mom and grandmother's death anniversary. do you...would you-"
"i'd love to accompany you chanhee," changmin said. "do you want to eat some takeout food in my dorm? you know, since kevin isn't there either and we haven't eaten yet!"
"i'd love to."
as they walked to the dorm, their voices filled the silence, laughter heard ever so often (mostly from changmin) and it was those moments, those beautifully intimate moments, that made them both realise just how much they truly cared and loved one another, neither saying those three words just yet but both saying it through their actions which to chanhee, was worth a lot more than a mere 'i love you'.
it was in those quiet moments that made chanhee realise that he wanted changmin to continue being in his life regardless of whether or not their relationship would last and the very thought of being with changmin for as long as possible was enough to bring a smile onto his face, the fear and worry he had before being replaced by a sense of hope that he prayed wasn't misplaced.
ᵕ̈♡˳೫˚∗
author's note:
aCK im so bad at updates ;-; but also i think red might end soon? i THINK im not too sure yet but anyways, i hope youre all having a wonderful day and merry christmas eve loves!