THE NEXT DAY ALL Adrien did was send glares at us and Dean and I actually said more than two words to each other.
The same thing happened on Wednesday then Thursday and then finally Friday is here, it's the day for the boneyard party.
We all stand in my kitchen filling our bags with the drinks JJ brought over. "Is the keg in the van?" I ask everyone as I put the last of the cans in my bag. "Yes ma'am." JJ tips his baseball hat at me. "Guys, I really can't be out long, I have to study." Pope complains. "We finished the first week of what is rumored to be the worst year of our lives. Take a White Claw and shut up." I take a can and shove it into his chest. All he does is sigh and open the can only taking sips.
There's some anxiety because all week I heard rumors that Adrien and Barry were arguing over clients and who had who. Barry sometimes showed up to the parties but Adrien was always there dragging Amelia along who definitely only came to be a bitch to me. Last thing I needed is to be in the middle of some drug dealer fight. They're fucking vile to watch.
I ignore Adrien bouncing in my head again and thought of Dean. He had actually given me his snap and we've been going back and forth on there. As I expected, he's shy, a nice contrast compared to Adrien. He's so sweet though. He had moved here from New York because his mom wanted to be closer to her family here. "Do you think Dean will be there?"
JJ fake gags so loud it makes us jump,"Did you invite him? He looks like he'd read a book in the middle of it." JJ is being so judgemental over him and it's really annoying me. "JJ, stop being so rude. You might get along if you tried." Annoyance is very clear in my tone. "He looks like he'd call you mommy—"
"I'm going to punch you Maybank." My voice is rising a bit. "You hate that I'm right." He picks up his bag and walks out the door to wait for us in the van. John B stares at me which annoys me more,"What?" I huffs. He walks over to me,"He's jealous. JJ would never judge unless given a reason to."
"He's right. Is Dean a Kook?" Pope asks.
"No, he lives on The Cut." Now it sounds like they're all judging him, everyone except Kie.
"I think he's sweet. Much nicer than Adrien." She walks over and slings her arm over my shoulders to show support.
"Adrien was nice at first too. JJ is obviously jealous—"
"Stop guys. Stop with this JJ and I bullshit. He's my best friend. Nothing more so stop." Truth is I just didn't want to ignite something that shouldn't be ignited in me. "JJ is just being protective JJ, normal JJ." Shit, I don't even believe my own words.
Something in me keeps denying it but I know that at some point it would come up and that terrifies me.
"Whatever you say, sunshine." John B uses my most common nickname against me. I flip him off and walk with Kie to the van. Now my head is a mess with them saying JJ's jealous. I don't want this. I'm not losing JJ because of feelings.
"Can you believe them?" I look at Kie who just pierces her lips and shrug ,"It does seem a bit off of JJ." God, not her too. "Kie—" I warn her.
We walk to the van to see JJ just sulking in the back smoking weed. "So is your new found love showing up?" Annoyance now clear in his tone. I want to know what made him hate Dean so much when he's done nothing. "Stop being dramatic." I take the blunt out of his hand. Weed fills the car and swirls making my eyes follow the smoke around the van. Kie waves the smoke out of her face as she sat in the passenger seat.
"Don't hotbox the fucking van."
John B and Pope soon got in the van and we head to the boneyard.
My finger slides up and down Dean's bitmoji. Would he even want to show up? He doesn't seem like the party type.
Fuck it.
"hey dean wanna come to the boneyard party?"
I close my eyes and turn off my phone and wait anxiously.
"Bailey is coming by the way, I asked—during gym." Kie turns to face me. I could see a hint of a smile on her face when she mentions Bailey showing up. Does Kie think Bailey is cute? I didn't mind, she's technically not an ex. I squint at Kie but she didn't seem to notice,"Great. So many people I've kissed in one place."
We finally made it to the boneyard with still no message from Dean even though I keep checking every two seconds like it would change it. JJ and John B carry the keg out while the rest of us get the bags of drinks. Being by the beach after this week calms me a bit. The smell of salt and watching the birds in the sky not have a care in the world.
I'm so jealous of animals who can just go wherever whenever.
They place the keg in the middle of the beach, do what they have to do and JJ posts on his story that we are here. People that are already at the beach flooded over.
JJ seems to be enjoying himself and talking to all the pretty girls who attempt to seduce him. JJ giving in to some and waving off others. I want the one beer in my hand to kick in so quickly that I would have an excuse to do something out of pocket. I swirl the red cup around a bit and took a swing of what was left in the cup. My eyes staying on the blonde taking in the attention he got.
"Stop clenching your jaw—" I jump at the voice next to me, Bailey's voice to be exact "—it'll fuck up your teeth." She laughs at me a bit and then drinks some of her White Claw. "You scared me."
"I could tell by you jumping like a wild cat." I roll my eyes at her and stare into my empty cup.
Suddenly, I feel a vibration in my pocket. My heart did a jolt when I realize it might be Dean.
I hide a smile on my face when I see it is him.
"where is the boneyard?"
"the beach :) you'll see all the people around."
It shows he's typing and I chew on my bottom lip.
"be there in 10"
The smile isn't hidden anymore and Bailey notices,"JJ texting you?"
The smile drops from my face,"No. The new kid—"
Bailey pushes herself off the wall and spit out her drink. "Oh-"
"Dean?!"
I hesitate but nod still. Her excitement is scaring me.
"That's my cousin!" My eyes go wide and I drop my cup on the sand.
"Wha-"
"Well, step-cousin. His dad is not my biological uncle. My aunt married his dad so it's basically her kid." My jaw still drops in shock.
"Liking me must run in the family." I joke with her because this new fact oddly makes the tension between us, mostly me, easier.
"Nah, I'm more into Kie now." This time my eyes go so wide I think they might fall out. All the girl in front of me does is smirk and continue drinking. I'm offended in the slightest, if anything I was happy for Bailey.
"Since when?" Excitement is obvious in my voice.
"Since she beat me in a track race during gym the other day. Made me realize how hot she is."
"So you just want the crew huh?" I refer to the Pogues. Bailey snorts,"I guess the ones that aren't boys, yeah." We smile at each other and then start laughing.
My attention goes back to JJ who is now sitting with some blonde girl. She's pretty, they always are. It wasn't until now that him sitting with this girl annoyed me a bit. Which in turn pisses me off that it even annoys me.
"You're gonna cut your hand with plastic." Bailey pointed at the now crushed plastic cup which I don't even realize I crushed.
Now my anger is getting obvious to people around me which isn't good at all.
Bailey doesn't say anything until she sees Dean across the beach walking towards us.
"Dean!" Bailey shouts and I see the brunette jump slightly. He has his hands stuffed into his pockets and shuffles over quickly to us. I fix my hair and made my septum ring straight as he gets closer. "Hey guys." Dean smiles.
"Hey, what's up?" I smile back at him.
Dean looks around at the people who are drunk or high,"This is my first party, a proper teenage party at least." That doesn't really surprise me. Dean seemed like he's never even had alcohol.
"Do you want a drink?" I test it to see his response. "No, not right now—" He stares between Bailey and I "—So you guys know each other?" Before I could even answer for myself Bailey blurts out,"We used to fuck." For the millionth time tonight my jaw dropped and I try to laugh it off in front of Dean who just nervously laughs.
Now it's awkward between us so I mentally curse at Bailey and tell them I'm going to get another drink. I push past people to get to the keg and see Kie and John B taking care of it. Pope is talking to some random girl and JJ is nowhere to be found.
"How's the date?" John B shouts over the people. "Date? Bailey just told her step-cousin, who is Dean, that we used to fuck." Their mouths form circles and I just nod in disbelief. "I think it's a good idea for me to—separate Dean and Bailey. For your sake of course." Kie grabs another beer and walks over to Bailey. She says something and then they walk away somewhere together. I throw a thumbs up that only Kie sees.
Dean looks scared standing by the tree alone,"Dean! Come here!" I wave him over and he pushes past everyone with 'sorry' the whole way through.
"Dean, John B, John B, Dean." I introduce them even though we had class together, I just thought it would be polite. Dean put his hand out to shake the other boy's hand. I watch as John B hesitates to shake his hand. "Hey—man." He throws an awkward smile at him. I'm starting to regret inviting Dean, for his sake. This is not his scene at all.
Surprisingly, I do not see Adrien or Barry. I thought they would have shown up to fight but maybe since Adrien got beat up he doesn't want to show his face at a party. I thought his pride was too big to miss the opportunity to start some shit though.
"You want a drink?" John B asks him.
"No—"
Just as I was about to answer for Dean, JJ slumps himself over me, "Does the librarian—-sorry, dog boy not drink?" JJ is slightly slurring his words and when I look at him—the girl from behind is attached to him.
"J—"
He pulls me closer with his arm around my neck, not choking me,"You invited someone who doesn't even know how to party? I thought you had a type!" I bite my lip so hard I swear I taste blood. I manage to push JJ's arm off me. I turn to him and push him away slightly. Dean looks confused and God, I feel so bad. His hands are so deep into his pockets that I thought he made holes in them.
My hands push him even further away. Big blue eyes look me down with a goofy smile,"Pigeon!—,"He grabs my wrists and stops in the sand,"—Where we goin'?" His goofy smile isn't even enough to calm me down.
I take a deep breath and close my eyes,"Go to the Chateau JJ. You're being an ass—"
"How—" He looses his footing for a second "—am I the ass? You brought dog boy!"
"You are being ridiculous right now!," My arms flail everywhere because of how frustrated I am with how he is acting and treating Dean ,"What did Dean do to you except be sensible!" JJ drops his smile and tries to stand straight in the sand,"So I'm not sensible? Don't we always do the same shit together?! Egg Amelia's house, key Adrien's car, just all around end up—" He holds his head "—doing the same not sensible shit!" His face turns red quicker due to the alcohol in his system and with the sun setting it makes it look even more red. I push air out through my nose, there's no winning with drunk JJ but how he is acting is absolutely absurd.
I swallow and ask my question again,"So what has Dean done to you?"
JJ stands not saying anything. He looks like he had something in mind but his mouth and brain were not cooperating, not like they ever do really. I raise my eyebrows at him still waiting for a response. When I don't get one after a minute I throw my hands to my side and just turn the other way, back towards the party, back towards Dean.
"Sunshine!" JJ's use of my nickname makes me stop in my tracks. He's really testing me tonight. "What, JJ?"
"I don't hate Dean—I just don't trust him." I turn now towards JJ who turned and started the walk to the Chateau.
Fuck, when one of us doesn't trust someone, they're usually right.
Goddamn is it a walk to the Chateau, especially tipsy. I'm mad but not stupid. No matter how mad I am I would never let one of them walk home tipsy.
I curse at myself and run towards John B to get the keys to the van.
"JB!" I call out as I push past people ,"I need the keys." I throw my hand out for the keys.
He gives me a look but still gives me the keys.
"I'm taking JJ home—where's Dean?" After I realized I don't want JJ to walk home, the thought of Dean completely drifted my mind until now. "He—uh—went home."
"Really?" I can't tell if I'm more disappointed in myself or JJ. This wasn't somewhere Dean was comfortable in and now I'm scared drunk JJ scared him off. "Yeah, maybe don't invite the shy boy to the party."
"Pope is shy." We both look towards Pope who is probably awkwardly telling the girl a weird fact.
"He's the exception. Get him home and yourself safely. I'll see you guys at the Chateau." I say thanks and start running towards the van which JJ is thankfully already at, drunkenly opening the drivers door.
A snort leaves my mouth and JJ turns around. "I thought I wasn't sensible." He uses air quotes and leans against the van. "Oh—you aren't, that's why you're trying to get into the van while tipsy. Move." I unlock the van and hop in the driver's seat. JJ just stares at me with a slight frown. "How about you get in the passenger seat and you can tell me why you don't trust Dean. Okay?" I try to cooperate with him.
"What do I get out of it?" He gets a fucking ride home and me not smacking him upside the head.
"A hug!" I jokingly tell JJ but all he does is raise an eyebrow,"A hug? What am I? 5?—" I tilt my head signifying I agree "—don't answer that." He sighs in defeat and walks to the other side and gets in. "Hi, bubba." I smile at him. I'm still annoyed but want him to calm down and not be even more annoying. "You only use bubba when you want something."
I scuff even though it's true,"Not true."
"Did Dean leave?" JJ sounds a bit too excited about the question. JJ and I usually get the same vibe from people but this dislike for Dean is so out of the blue. I decide to not let JJ think he won,"No, he's with Bailey."
He nods his head and then there's a minute of silence.
"How drunk are you?"
"Oh it's uh—starting to wear off. I didn't want to drink too much in case I slept with that girl."
I decided to just completely ignore that part,"So, Dean."
"He's giving me Kook vibes, like undercover Kook. Like, he's a typical Kook but is just trying to—not show that side." I roll my eyes,"He's from the Cut JJ. For what reason would he need to be undercover?" I slightly laugh at his ridiculous accusation. "No, no—y'know how Adrien is a Kook but tries to claim The Cut? Like that but worse because Kooks are—well—worse."
The Chateau comes into view and I'm happy that this conversation would be over with. It makes no sense, did he mean he acts like a Kook when I'm not there? Is he fake? I pull into the Chateau and Big John isn't home—he hasn't been in days. On the hunt for gold like usual. "You sober?"
"Yeah, the wind through my luscious hair cleared my mind. Still don't trust Dean though." I start to unlock the front door but I want an apology, for me and on Dean's behalf. "J?-" He hums signifying a yes "—can you apologize? At least to me?"
JJ throws his hands on his hips so I copy his actions,"Im serious, J."
"I'm sorry—" He drags out the last letter and I settle knowing that's the best I'd get for now. "Thanks asshole." I open the door and JJ goes in first. "Asshole? That was just—"
The sound of a gun cocking makes my stomach drop and makes both of us jump. Someone turns the corner but the stupid black jacket with too many pockets lets me know exactly who it is.
The pistol is right at JJ's chest and panic runs through my body and immediately I start looking for ways to smack Adrien or hit him with something. JJ stands with his hands up and I notice how shaky his breath gets.
"Adrien—" My voice comes out way too shaky which I don't appreciate "—Why are you—"
"You guys thought you could beat my ass and get away with it? I beat my own friends asses today so what made you think you guys were different?" He shoves the gun into my best friend's chest. "Adrien—" I try to walk in front of JJ but he steps in front of me. "Do you even know how to use that?" JJ asks Adrien.
I know he does because he used to practice shooting when we ran out of ideas and it wouldn't have scared me if he also didn't just wave the gun around with no safety on. "Yup, want me to show you?"
I throws my hands up and shout,"No! The asshole knows how to use it, I can assure you." My voice is still shaky even with me cursing at him.
"ASSHOLE?" He moves the gun towards me. "Don't fucking point that shit at her!" I want to badly be my usual tough Sam but the fucking gun is not doing it for me. "You see my face?!" A cold grin spreads across his face. I have seen Adrien at his worst during drug deals gone wrong but this—this is over some petty fight because he went to my house. But his fucking ego is too big and he has 'reputation' to withhold.
"I knew you could hit but this is quite the fucking punch." Adrien points at the cut and waves the gun and with every move JJ and I slightly jump. My eyes stay on the gun and also JJ to make sure I know his next move.
"Must be genetic for you to be able to punch so hard Sam—"
"Man, shut the fuck up," JJ goes to launch himself at Adrien but he just points his gun at him again. "Adrien what the hell are you doing? Over your ego you're pointing a gun at us?" I figure maybe making him seem stupid would make him second guess his actions. "Why don't you take yourself and the gun—and leave. You're acting crazy."
Crazy. The word he used to describe me a week beforehand. Using the word against someone else feels weird gliding across my tongue but I need him to wake up a bit. "Fuck you Sam," An eerie smile runs across his face.
Suddenly, before I can even blink Adrien punches JJ across the face so hard the noise makes me cringe. I looks around John B's house and see so many things I could hit Adrien with but my fucking fist keeps stinging and reminding me of my guilt.
He points a gun at us now, at JJ. I need my morals to lay low for a second. JJ is thrown onto the ground and all I want is one of the Pogues to walk through the door because I'm so conflicted and I shouldn't be because JJ is my best fucking friend and I can't even help him this time. I pull at my hair and my heart feels like it would leap out of my chest and a part of me wants myself to drop dead on the floor to get them to both stop.
I watch as Adrien throws him around with such rage and JJ is too scared about the gun that could go off any minute. For once in my fucking life, my brain isn't let me use violence as an immediate resource. My body is frozen.
JJ is on the floor and I see him losing, hard. His lip is busted and his cheek isn't doing too good either. My brain isn't frozen though. If I scream loud enough, Adrien would get scared and leave.
I take a deep breath and scream so loud my throat hurt a second in. My eyes are closed but when I open them, Adrien is off of JJ who just lays on the hardwood floor.
Adrien looks confused as I walk closer to him. My throat sore and desperately needing water but I still open my big ass mouth to Adrien,"You stay the fuck away, maybe check into a mental hospital like you told me to months ago because I've never waved a gun around. You leave now and I won't have a cop take your ass to the mainland for a psych checkup." Adrien puts the gun to my chest and leans in,"You know I'd never kill someone, but damn, was it nice to see you in such panic over your piece of shit friend." Adrien shoves the gun in his pocket.
The wasps stinging feeling in my fist stops me from putting my hands on him.
As soon as Adrien leaves the deja vu I'm getting knowing I'm going to have to help JJ with wounds from my ex, again. I push my thoughts out to help JJ who lays on the floor with a bloody nose. "JJ?"
JJ groans and I'm regretting not knocking the boy who just walked out. His nose is just bleeding so much and his face is so red. I feel puke coming up at the state of him. It's my fault. I brought Adrien into our lives. My hand is moving so much when I go to touch his face. I'm treating him like glass but JJ is anything but glass and I know that.
"JJ—please, open your eyes, do something." I hold my breath.
"Hm—" JJ groans louder than before "—I'm bleeding a lot aren't I?" He wipes his bloody nose across his arm but more blood just keeps trailing down. "Yeah, dumbass." I try to force a smile.
"How'd he get a fucking gun?" JJ groans as he tries to stand up but I don't let him. "Asshat, we just got a gun pointed at us and you got beat up because of me—"
"Shut your dumbass up. It's not your fault he has this rep to uphold. Someone should tell him this isn't the mafia." My heart is still beating a thousand miles per minute and he's already trying to get up while my legs feel like jelly. "JJ, you should lay down a bit."
"I am fine—" He grabs his head as he stands "—Clearly."
"Clearly you're not," I try again to get up but my legs are not cooperating. I even start to punch my thighs to see if that triggers anything.
"I don't think I can get up right now." My brain is stuffed with so much—I'm losing it. JJ crouches in front of me with a tissue up his bloody nostril. He moves the hair out of my face. My cheeks puff up full of air. "Why are you nervous?"
I let the air out of my cheeks,"Huh? Nervous?" I am nervous?
"Yeah! You become a pufferfish when you get nervous!" He takes his finger and pokes my cheek. He just got beat up but he's trying to make me feel better. It just makes me feel shittier in turn though.
"Do I?" He nods his head. JJ winces and holds his head.
"I—uh—hit my head on the floor." I try to push myself off the floor to get JJ an ice pack but my pathetic legs are still wobbly from the event minutes before.
"You'd think after years of Weston being Weston I would be fine—" I stop myself with wide eyes. The joke I crack at my own expense was heard by JJ who snaps his neck,"Do you wanna—"
"No." I say. I don't want to deal with opening up that mess right now or soon with anyone. "God my legs." I quickly change the subject but I could tell JJ wants to bring up my joke later.
I can't even shake my legs to wake them up. "Hold on." The blonde walks over and throws me over his shoulder like at the hospital but I don't fight him this time, I just laughs. "JJ stop, you might have a concussion."
"We'll figure it out if I'm dead in the morning."
JJ and I take care of each other until the rest of The Pogues come home but after all these years of blaming others, this chaos and hurt seems to follow me. Even when I leave my home that showed me this chaos and hurt.
Looking at the people around me I realize I don't want what just happened to us to happen to them.
But one person here keeps giving me butterflies that would quickly turn to wasps every time he looks to check up on me tonight. Maybe it's best if I distance myself from JJ, maybe then if Adrien has another plan he'll see how distant we are and leave him alone.
I never wanted the person who gave me all these nicknames that made me feel loved, feel like I was the reason for his bruising.
Maybe I just had to trust Dean, to help JJ.
———-
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