"Prison?!" Morgan yelled in shock as he paced back and forth in the station after Hotch got him out on bail, "they're already threatening her with a prison sentence?!"
"They're threatening her cover identity with prison from the raid, the minute she 'accepted' the money they could arrest her which was why the cop was trying to get her to take the money in the curtained room- but we just have to reveal that she's an agent and they'll drop the charges since we have more jurisdiction here" Hotch was trying to organise everything, no interest in the case now- not even with the revelation that was discovered in booth 3 when the cops raided the strip club.
"S-she's dead?" Darling's eyes widened as Reid told her about the dead body of Jules that they found in one of the closed curtain rooms moments after the cops cleared the place during the raid.
"I'm sorry Darling-" Reid tried to comfort from across the interview table where he was pretending to be her lawyer since the officers weren't letting her talk to the team.
"O-oh oh my god" Darling covered her mouth and felt like she was about to throw up before something clicked in her head, something that she knew she was using as a coping mechanism but needed; a need to solve this mystery.
"How did she die?" Darling turned to Reid with a sense of that need to know in her voice that made him pause.
"Darling, I think you need to let yourself feel this and not-"
"What killed her Reid? Strangulation? Beating? Come on, tell me so I can figure this out."
Reid sighed, "she... she had a stiletto in her neck."
Darling paused in shock, but for another reason.
'If you don't get off my stage right now I will shove my stiletto through your throat.'
"Candy" Darling whispered with a realisation, standing up and going to storm out to question her before realising she was cuffed to the table, "for tootin' sakes."
"Sorry... they won't let us uncuff you" Reid apologised profusely, hating seeing her like this.
"It's fine Spencer, I just need to figure this out..." she paused as her mind raced at a hundred miles per hour and finally clicked with a sort of plan, a plan she hated, but still- it was a plan.
Not one made by fear, not one on the fly- but a real plan like she knew she could make.
Darling let herself smile at herself before turning to Reid, "get the team, get Hotch- I've got an idea."
"No, no way Darling, there's no way you're doing this stupid idea" Morgan shook his head at her as he paced back and forth in the interview room where the team were all sat, Hotch stood in the corner watching Darling.
"Would you just try to understand? I've thought this out, if I just-" she tried to explain.
"No! You're asking us to let them fast track prosecute you! They'd send you to jail tomorrow morning for at the very least 5 years!" Morgan argued.
"Yes but we won't be able to figure out if Candy did this or what 'business partner' means unless I go into that prison with the rest of the girls!" Darling argued back, "think about it, it makes sense! Hotch can pull strings and make sure we're all in the same prison, it'll take me a couple of weeks top and-"
"I said no" Morgan shook his head, "I'm not letting you put yourself in jail-"
"It could work" Hotch spoke from the corner, making Morgan snap his head to him in rage.
"But-" Hotch continued, looking over at Darling with sympathetic eyes, "why do you want to do this?"
"I just said, I want to figure this out and solve the case-"
"No" Hotch shook his head and walked over, sitting opposite Darling, "why do you feel like you have to do this?"
"I-" Darling couldn't think of what to say, she didn't know how to explain it and she certainly didn't know how Hotch just seemed to know what she wasn't saying from his soft expression at her.
"I'll sign off on this; I'll let you do this for the case- but you have to promise me, you have to promise me what you promised me before-" Hotch took her hand that couldn't help shaking despite her trying to act like the past 24 hours didn't bother her, "you need to promise me that when your motivations change to the place we both know it can go, to the place we both share, that you will tell me and we will pull you out of there."
Darling paused for a moment, reflecting back on that conversation she had with Hotch before, at how he just seemed to know, at how he knew she would risk it all- and sometimes for the wrong reasons.
She gave a nod, a singular nod that was convincing but Hotch knew better.
"I need verbal confirmation Miss Dawson, I need to know that you're not lying to me."
Darling gave a small chuckle, "I don't think you'd be able to tell if I were."
The team looked confused as Hotch let a small laugh out at the inside joke no one else knew.
"That does seem to be true" he nodded.
"I promise" Darling sighed, holding out her hand for him to shake despite still being cuffed.
Hotch watched her for a moment, the parental urge just to get her out of the cuffs and send her home to keep her safe, to lock her away so no one could hurt her, so she couldn't get herself hurt.
But he knew he couldn't do that, she wasn't his daughter, he couldn't protect her from the world- not when she was trying to save it, not when he knew she could save it.
"I'll fast track the case to send you and the other girls to the prison tomorrow, tonight I'll have them transfer you to a private cell using one of the offices on your own so you don't have to wait in the holding cell with everyone. I'll give you three weeks in the prison with daily briefings with one of us at one point before we get you out of there; I'll get Luke down here on the case and have him go in as a prison guard and then I'll get Emily to go in as a lunch lady so you can brief with them on the no-visitor days" Hotch went into full work mode, his hand still around Darling's to bring himself comfort.
"But Darling-" he turned back to her after sending out orders, "don't feel you have to be a hero, don't feel like you're trapped- you can leave any time you like, don't feel like a prisoner."
"It is a literal prison Hotch, that's kind of the whole point" Darling joked.
Hotch gave a small chuckle and nodded, the two sharing a moment before Morgan interrupted with outrage.
"Am I the only one with a fucking brain to question this shit?!"
"Derek! Language-" Darling rolled her eyes at him.
"No, this is ridiculous- Hotch you can't seriously let her do this?!"
"She's an agent Morgan, she's more than capable-"
"I know she's god damn capable, she's more capable than every god damn person in here combined!" Morgan yelled, "but she's also Darling!"
"What does that mean?" Darling quizzed.
"You're you! You're jokey, overwhelmingly sweet, kind hearted and so charismatically sarcastic that you could confuse a bomb- but you are not made for prison!"
"Oh and you know what prison's like then do you?" She mocked.
"No! That's the point! And neither do you!"
"It's a women's prison, I'll be fine Derek!"
"Have you not watched Orange is the new black!?" Morgan was letting his almost humorous hysterics take over to hide his heart wrenching concern for her, "you will not be fine!"
"Why are you doubting me now of all times you big dumb idiot?"
"I'm not-"
"You are kid" Rossi noted, "listen, I don't want her to go in there either but she's got this, she knows what she's doing and you said yourself that she's a hell of a lot smarter than everyone here so-"
"So that doesn't mean she needs to put her life on the line to prove it!"
"That's enough" Hotch ordered, spotting the cops walking past trying to listen in to the commotion, "everyone clear the room and get ready for your tasks starting tomorrow, I have to prep Darling on the information on the case I wasn't allowed to share with you all-"
"Why weren't you allowed to share it with us?" Rossi quizzed.
Hotch sighed, "because, apparently one of the members of the FBI are involved in this case somehow and related to Nick's operation... and Erin Strauss thinks they're might be involved with the BAU."
Darling sat shaking on her makeshift bed hours later in the back closet of the station where the officers begrudgingly agreed to put her when Hotch lied and told them she was potentially a unsub in an FBI case.
She stared at her hands on the bed; the same hands that put on that costume, that touched Nick, that she was afraid wouldn't be strong enough to fight him off of her if he attacked her.
She stared at her thighs in her pyjama shorts, a deeper hatred for them after hearing Candy's comments about her body, a hatred because Nick touched them, a hatred because she used them to dance for men again.
She fiddled with the hem of her oversized hoodie, trying to stop herself crying from the lack of clothes she had to wear, hating how she could still feel the tight clothes on her now from years ago and hating even more that she knew she would never stop feeling them or hating her body because of it.
"Hey-" A voice interrupted her tears as she tucked her knees to her chest to cry, pausing when she looked up and saw Morgan stood by the door.
"Hey" she cleared her throat, quickly wiping her eyes, "have you come to tell me I'd never make it in another TV show or-"
"Are you okay?" He spoke so softly, such care in his voice as he shut the door and walked over to her, crouching down in front of her.
"I'm fine-" she couldn't get the words out before she burst into tears, Morgan's arms immediately wrapping around her and tucking her head into his shoulder so she could cry.
"S-sorry, sorry-"
"Don't apologise Darl, please don't apologise" he held her closer.
"N-no, no, I'm sorry, you're meant to be mad at me and now I'm making you comfort me" she sat back and tried to wipe her eyes but the tears wouldn't stop flowing, Morgan gave a soft chuckled and sat on the bed next to her.
"I'm not mad at you Darling, I'm upset that you're letting Hotch put you in prison- but I'm not mad at you, I could never be mad at you."
"W-well you should be" she felt her lip quiver and turned to him, "Derek I need to tell you that I did something; I... I was kissed by-"
"By Jules on the stage? Yeah I know Darl, we were all on the ear piece" Morgan chuckled, she tilted her head at him with confusion at how calm he was before shaking her head.
"N-no but, I mean yeah but I kissed her back because she said she would die and I'm so, so, so sorry, I really didn't want to and I feel awful and understand if you-"
"Shh" Morgan pulled her close to him with a soft chuckle, "don't apologise, you have nothing to be sorry for- you had to do that to help her."
"B-but it didn't even help her! She's dead a-and I cheated on you and-"
"You didn't cheat on me" he laughed, brushing her hair out of her face, "it's okay Darling."
"I-It's not okay, I'm really sorry for kissing her even under cover-"
"Darling, you're not my property" he said sincerely, "I have no right to say where your lips can go, especially on cases where you're trying to save someone's life in a situation you weren't briefed on."
"B-but we're in a committed relationship and I don't want to destroy that-"
"And that's wonderfully sweet" he smiled sincerely, "but it doesn't mean you're committing any kind of crime by being kissed and trying to help a person on a case. Think of it this way; if it was the other way round, if I was in there on a case and one of the girls told me that if I didn't kiss her then she would die, would you be mad at me?"
"N-no of course not-"
"Then don't expect me to be mad at you either" he gently stroked her face with his thumb, "I can be quite understanding occasionally."
"I didn't mean it like that, you're very understanding" she couldn't help chuckling.
"I was only teasing you to hear your laugh" he smiled, kissing the top of her head as she leaned into him, "I'm sorry about arguing with you earlier- I didn't mean to make you feel like I was angry at you."
"It's okay, I would have been angry at you if it was the other way around and you were trying to send yourself to prison; there's no way you'd last in Orange is the new black."
Morgan felt a warmth in his chest from the laugher she always brought, looking down at her, "you're going to be okay in there though Darl, right?"
She smiled at him trying to comfort her, being able to tell that she was clearly terrified about going to a prison but himself needing comfort too, needing her to say that she would be okay to be able to believe it.
"Of course I will- and I'll be out of prison just in time for Christmas, it'll be like your Christmas gift" she smiled at him, "I'll be fine Der, plus, when have you ever known me not to be able to get myself out of trouble?"
"I've seen it about as much as I've seen you get yourself into trouble" he teased.
"So many times then" she joked, looking up at him with that glimmer in her eyes before sighing, "sorry for yelling at you on the jet by the way-"
"No, no, no, don't apologise for that- you need to hold onto that."
"What? Why?"
Morgan smiled, "so I can know that you'll make sure you come out of prison to argue with me about it with your fiery southern spark that I love so much."
Darling couldn't help her laugh before she let herself snuggle into his arms more, taking comfort in being there and how calm she automatically felt in them- it was as if the last 48 hours had never happened, it was as if she was back at home like they had been those 2 weeks just them two.
Happy.
She was happy; something she rarely felt before.
"Derek-" Darling looked up at him with an overwhelming feeling in her chest.
"Yeah Darl?" He looked down.
"I love you."
Morgan couldn't help his smile, "I know, I love you too-"
"No, no, no- Derek I really love you."
"I know" he chuckled with amusement at how earnest she seemed , "I really love you too."
"No I don't just mean that I love you, I- god why isn't there a stronger word? Like 'Aove' or 'Zove' since the letters are at the most important part of the alphabet and are the book ends and therefor the strongest and-"
"Shh before you invent a whole new language with your giant computer brain" Morgan laughed and leaned his forehead down to meet hers, both of them closing their eyes and letting the silence say more than any words could, carrying the overwhelming love they shared for each other in the lack of words that they both wished existed so they could express it.
"You know-" Morgan chuckled and sat back slightly after a while, "-I think you're the only person in the world who I've let call me a 'big dumb idiot' by the way."
Darling couldn't help her laugh and nudged his arm, "don't act like I haven't done it before- and you called me an idiot the other week so it's even."
"I said that you were a beautiful idiot genius who I adore" he corrected.
"I can't be an 'idiot' and a 'genius,' those two are contradictory."
"Ooo big word for an idiot" he teased before nudging her arm, "how about this; you can be the genius and I'll be your idiot."
"You're not an idiot" she chuckled and looked over at him, "you're actually very smart."
"You say that like it's a huge surprise that I have more than one brain cell" he laughed.
"I didn't mean it like that" she nudged his arm with a laugh of her own, "I just mean you're not just smart smart, you're like emotionally smart too."
"Emotionally smart?" He raised an amused eyebrow.
"Yeah, like in touch with your feelings and all of that mumbo jumbo."
"How poetic" he teased, looking down at her, "being in love with your best friend for 18 years and not being able to tell her has a way of making you learn to be able to express it somehow- although I wish I had the guts to express it sooner."
Darling smiled and leaned on his arm, "I think that you did express it, in little ways all of the time in some way, I was just too afraid of it all being in my head to think any more of it than you being a good friend."
"So you questioned it at some point?" He quizzed and Darling burst into laughter with a nod.
"Derek you drove hundreds of miles to give me a birthday present that you flew to a different state to buy, found the one remaining photo of my mom without getting into a scrap with my dad and built me a treehouse so we could hang out together on Christmas Eve; I may be oblivious but I'm not blind, there were moments I let myself question your glances at me."
Morgan chuckled and gently stroked up and down her arm, "so why didn't you say anything?"
"Because you left" she spoke simply with a hint of pain in her voice, "or you were always speaking about leaving or preparing to leave, and I knew, I knew that even if you did feel anything like I wanted you to feel for me that I convinced myself you never would, that I couldn't make you stay, that I wasn't enough to make you stay."
"Darling I'm so sorry-" Morgan tried to apologise, hating how that was how she felt, hating how she had felt that all of these years, hating that he made her feel not enough.
"No, no, it's okay, I wouldn't have wanted to make you stay" she explained, looking up at him with soft acceptance, that adoration still in her eyes that he realised now that she had always had for him, "I know now why you had to leave, and I would have hated myself for being the reason you stayed in a place the reminded you of that. We both know that you were always meant to do this, you were always meant to leave and live your life; to save people, to look after people in the beautiful way that you do, to shine like I knew you would. I was just glad I got to see that shine even from a distance."
He watched as she reminisced with a soft smile at how proud she was of him all of those years, even with the agonising heartbreak of him being gone- of him leaving her there in Chicago, of her there with her father, it was always overtaken by how proud she was of him for getting out, for making his own way to the FBI without the monster that hurt him.
"I... I wish you came with me" Morgan spoke quietly, "I've always wished that you did."
Darling paused and looked up at him, "why didn't you ask me?"
"Because I knew that you wouldn't, that you couldn't" he looked down at her with that same look of pained acceptance that she understood, both of them knowing that as much as they wanted to go back in time and handcuff their past selves together, they needed to go on their own journeys first, they needed to know that pain of being apart to be together as two whole people; to be them.
"Well, it's a good thing we're both stubborn idiots then or this never would have worked with how oblivious we both clearly are" Darling chuckled, leaning into his arm.
Morgan let out a laugh before wrapping his arms fully around her and holding her close as he leaned back on the wall that the bed was against, Darling cuddling in next to him, "I think we would have always ended up here."
"In a police station back office the day before I'm sent to prison?" Darling raised an eyebrow up at him that made him laugh more.
"No, although I'm sure that's some universal thing set in stone with how ridiculous it is, but I meant us; I think we were always going to end up together in some way- we worked hard for years to try to fight it but the universe worked harder. In some way or another, we would have always been us."
Darling chuckled and nodded, unable to stop herself smiling at that thought as she nestled into his chest with his arm gently brushing up and down her back, "I like that."
Morgan looked down at her with a similar smile, kissing the top of her head and letting himself take in the moment over all of the doom that was threatening to come with the next day.
"I like that too."