Please don't skip the author's note at the end
It has some clarifications regarding the book
THEA'S POV
It's been almost a month. A month since that night in the hospital. I haven't seen or heard from Xander. I waited everyday, hoping that he would lose control like he did everytime and come see me. I shouldn't want him. I know I should have some self-respect. I knew I should let him go cause he is bad but I guess it's just something about good girls wanting bad boys.
I almost laughed at how pathetic I sounded.
Lila has been busy with her cases. Some man was murdered in the precinct, right under Lila's watch and she has been beating herself about it. I keep telling her it wasn't her fault. Another convict in that cell killed him and Lila couldn't have known because the cells were far inside. But she refuses to accept it.
Right now I am outside her station debating whether or not I should go inside. She doesn't like it when I come here.
'That place has scary people Thea. I don't want you getting hurt' She always told me this.
But today I didn't want to be alone. Something at the apartment did not feel right. I know there are men outside the apartment.
Xander's men.
I can barely sense them around me but I do catch them changing shifts sometimes. I was very tempted to put myself in trouble again so I could see Xander again but then I just decided against it.
A sigh escaped my lips as I walked inside the precinct. Looking around for Lila I saw how chaotic the place looked. People were screaming on the phone but I think Lila's voice was the loudest.
Oh boy. I clearly didn't pick the right time. I wanted to leave but I needed to talk to Lila even if it was just for a few minutes. She was the only person in my life I considered family so I had to know she was okay.
Walking towards her desk, I sat down in front of her. She looked at me, surprised. Yeah I am gonna get the talk.
After a few minutes of talking in Russian, Lila cut the call and looked at me.
"Hey" I said trying to sound as chirpy as I could
"Thea I told you to not come here. There are bad people here. I arrest them. Seeing you with me puts you in danger" Lila said or should I say almost scolding
"I hadn't seen you in a while. It's scary to be home alone" I justified
"I know honey but things only keep getting worse"
"What happened?"
"You know I can't tell you"
"Give me something. I don't have anything to do. I am bored"
Lila sighed, looked around and then said,
"Remember Rouge?"
'XANDER. OF COURSE I REMEMBER HIM' I wanted to say but I didn't. I just gave a slight nod. I didn't want Lila to know anything about me and Xander. Nothing. I know she would ask me to stop and I know that I wouldn't. I didn't want to upset her.
"So he and another gang, the mafia, had a clash. There were guns involved and a lot of people died. Rouge shot the leader of the mafia. There is no evidence but everyone knows only Rouge has the power to do that. Things wouldn't be this chaotic if Rouge had taken over. However, Rouge is missing"
"What do you mean missing?" I asked, panic evident in my tone
"Since the mafia has no leader, Rouge is expected to take over but he hasn't shown up. Word is he was injured. No one knows. And since he hasn't been around local gangs are rising up"
I probably didn't hear anything after Lila said he was injured. Xander was hurt and it scared me. Was he okay? Was he alive?
"You don't know where he could be?"
"No. But if he is dead then no one is safe in this country. I can't believe I am saying this but it's the truth" Lila was disgusted with her confession. She had very clearly shown her dislike for Rouge so admitting something like this means that it's very important for Xander to be alive.
We both want him alive
Our reasons are just different
She wants peace from him
I want chaos
..............................
This was the only place I could think of. This place was my only hope. Standing in front of these gates brought a shiver down my spine. The last time I was here was when Xander's men kidnapped me.
I should be running away. He hurt me. He hurt Lila. He is a bad guy. Even after all of it, my heart broke just thinking about Xander being hurt.
'Please be alive. Please' I begged
The gates were shut and I didn't see any bell. I mean it's a mafia hideout of course it won't have a doorbell. Looking around I saw no one. How was I going to get in?
Taking a deep breath, I prayed to God that my small height could maybe come handy now. Grabbing the black rods on the gate I pushed myself off the ground and upon the horizontal rod on the gate.
I am either breaking my legs or my neck. Whatever it was, I wasn't getting out of this in one piece. I don't know why but climbing this felt much easier in my head and I definately had more air in my lungs. I somehow managed to reach the top of the gate. Okay the hard part is done Thea. You just gotta jump now. Looking at the other side I let out a louder scream than I had hoped. Climbing wasn't the hard part. This was.
Remember when I said not leaving in one piece, yeah confirm that thought. I am definitely breaking a bone.
'Come on Thea, you got this. A simple jump. Doesn't matter if you are in a skirt. We aren't going to flash anything to anyone'
Giving myself a pep-talk, I took in a deep deep breath and prepared myself to jump. Just as I was about to let go of the gate, someone spoke
"What do you think you are doing?"
The sudden voice caused me to lose my foot balance and I felt my body falling to the ground. I shut my eyes waiting to be greeted by the hard ground, but somehow the impact never came. Opening my eyes, I saw Scar holding me. Oh thank god. I was so busy rejoicing no broken bones that I had forgotten that I was actually caught sneaking into a mafia building. As soon as the thought popped in my head, I looked at Scar with fear but his expression wasn't one of danger.
Confusion clouded his face.
"You want to tell me what you are doing here?" Scar asked again
"Umm... yeah... umm... hi... so basically... I... um" I tried to come up with anything except I came to see Xander and I clearly failed.
"Thea speak before those men on the roof shoot your brains out"
My head whipped towards the roof and I saw two men with guns pointing towards us.
"I... I.... ummm..." if I couldn't speak before, I sure as hell wasn't in a state to speak now.
"THEA" Scar growled
"I came to see Xander" I squeaked out, the sudden anger scaring the life out of me
Scar looked at me with a blank expression before dropping me to the ground. My elbows landed on the hard rocks and a painful sensation buzzed my arms. Tears filled my eyes when I saw blood oozing out of my elbows. I hated pain. Paper cuts, toe stubs, injections; I always ended up feeling more pain than Lila said was normal
"He won't see you. Now leave" Scar announced and walked towards the gate probably to open it
"I am not leaving. I know he is hurt. I just want to see him" I begged getting up from the ground. The pain in my elbow was bad but the thought of not seeing Xander troubled me more.
"Listen here. I don't know what you are upto but there is no way in hell you are seeing him. So leave while I am still saying or else those bullets would reach here within a second"
Okay I agree. Scar was scaring me.
"Five minutes. Please"
"No Thea. He is in no state to see you"
"Please. Just five minutes. You can be in the room the entire time. I promise I will leave right after"
I was desperate and desperate times called for desperate measures. I always got my way with Lila when I tried making puppy eyes. And if there were tears, the success rates go up to 200%. If Lila could melt and buy me ice cream when it was minus two degrees outside, Scar was nothing. Putting on the best face I could, I stared at Scar. Not only were their tears in my eyes, I also batted my eyelashes a bit.
........................
Xander lay on the bed with an IV attached to his hand. His eyes were closed but a frown was evident in his forehead. Even when he is unconscious he isn't at peace.
I think the deafening silence of my mind was attracted to the chaos Xander possessed. That was the only explanation that made sense. Why else would I like a man that intentionally inflicts pain on people.
There were two other people in the room but I am assuming they were the nurses. They didn't dress like nurses because they were literally wearing black clothes and their vibe did not scream 'Hey we save lives'
"Five minutes. Everyone else out" Scar commanded
Yeah I did get my way. I almost hugged Scar because I was so happy but the look he gave me that threatened to kill me if I even got close to him stopped me.
After the two nurses left, it was just Scar and I in the room. Walking towards Xander, I sat down on the chair next to his bed. I wanted to hold his hand but dropped the idea. I didn't think Scar would be very happy about it. They did a body check to see if I was carrying something. They even took out my earrings so I don't understand what other way could I possibly harm Xander. Not that I would or could. Scar was staring at us like a hawk.
"When will he wake up?" I asked softly, scared that I might trigger Scar and he would throw me out.
Scar just stared at me but didn't answer. A few seconds pass and I tried again, this time just a little loudly,
"Will he be okay?"
Scar let out a deep breath. He was getting annoyed. Oh boy.
I looked back at Xander and my hands itched to remove that frown on his forehead. I slightly looked at Scar to see if he was noticing us and yeah he was. With complete attention.
"Two minutes more" Scar announced. I wanted to stay longer. I wanted to be here. I wanted to know he was going to be okay. But I was never going to see Xander again. And I wouldn't even know if he'll be alive or not.
My eyes filled with tears and I felt a tear drop fall down my eyes. I shouldn't care. He hurt me. He hurt me really badly. I kept chanting in my heart but my mind refused to accept it. I hated it.
Resting my head on the bed near his hand, I took in his scent. He always smelled like smoke and alcohol. But right now I could only smell medicines and the pungent smell of antiseptics. More tears fell down my eyes. I closed my eyes and prayed. Prayed to God to keep this man alive even though he may have not done one good thing in life.
"Please be o...okay" I whispered.
........................
Soft whispers in a foreign language woke Thea up from her deep slumber. Opening her eyes, she blinked several times to remove the sleepy haze from her eyes. Rubbing her eyes a little she looked up and was met with a very cold look by Scar.
Scar? Why was Scar here? Moving her head a little she saw four more men around Scar. Who were they? Where was I. Closing her eyes to remember what happened, Thea remembers coming to find Xander, climbing the gate, Scar, XANDER.
Her eyes shot open when she turned around to look at Xander and for the first time in her entire life, Thea felt a huge weight lift from her heart.
There was Xander, staring at his Kitten with his beautiful gray eyes, a look of adoration and a ting of anger.
...........................
THEA'S POV
"You are awake" Tears filled my eyes as I launched myself onto Xander. He held my waist as I threw myself on him like my life depended on him. This was very out of character for me but I don't think I cared.
"Все ушли. Теперь" (Everyone out. Now) I didn't understand what he meant, but his tone held a command. I wasn't facing Scar and the other men, but I did hear movement and the door opening and closing. The room fell into a complete silence so I am assuming everyone left.
"A little feisty aren't we kitten" Xander chuckled.
I just pushed myself further into him. I didn't care about anything right now. I would probably die out of embarrassment later but the future me can handle it.
(I just started watching 'How I met your mother' and I had to put this here 😂🤣)
Xander's one hand wrapped around my hair and tugged my head out of his neck. The harsh movement should have surprised me, but I think I was used to his harsh touches. His other hand that was on my waist grabbed my jaw and forced me to look at him.
There was a predatory look in his eyes. It should have scared me, I should have been running away, but I continued to melt under his touch. What was he doing to me? I was losing my mind.
"You missed me Kitten?"
'I did' I wanted to scream but the intensity of his look made me forget how to speak. My mind was a mess. I closed my eyes, hoping he would understand that I wasn't in a state to speak.
Xander pulled my hair into another harsh tug and my neck was now completely exposed to him. My neck ached and I almost whined in pain but I felt a hot wet trail drag from my collarbone to my earlobe and a soft growl that came from Xander.
He licked me!!!!
I shuddered at the contact and moved to get out of his hold, but his hands only tightened around my hair. Xander's tongue continued to leave wet trails all over my neck. My entire body tingled
"Так прекрасно. Я мог бы поглотить тебя целиком и все равно не получить достаточно" (So beautiful. I could devour you whole and still not get enough)
Xander speaking in Russian wasn't helping the tingles either.
"Xand...er"
"Невозможность прикоснуться к тебе была пыткой. Я был готов раскаяться, если бы это означало, что я смогу попробовать тебя еще раз. Что ты делаешь со мной, котенок." (Not being able to touch you, it was torture. I was ready to repent if it meant I could taste you one more time. What are you doing to me, kitten.)
"I don't unde...rstand" I hushed out. I was enjoying his touch. I was scared to even think that I missed it. But I did. I really did. Xander was a drug. Just like a drug, he was bad but one taste of what it had to offer and you are willing to die for another taste.
I felt soft kisses on my jaw and my cheeks.
"Breathe Kitten. Breathe for me" Xander whispered in my lips. That's when I realized I wasn't breathing. I took in a deep breath and my lungs expanded with need.
That's what Xander did. He made me forget things. Things that are keeping me alive and things that make me want to die.
"Good girl. So good for Daddy"
A soft whine escaped my lips hearing him call me his good girl. Taking this to an advantage, Xander slipped his tongue in my mouth and I felt my senses explode.
Cigarettes and alcohol.
A loud growl echoed in the room and Xander's hand tightened around my jaw. He was kissing me. He was kissing me with urgency. We stayed like that for a while. Xander's mouth on mine, his hand around my hair.
I lowered my hand on his back, trying to pull him closer, but I regretted it the second I did it. Xander let out a painful moan and I tried to push him away. Scared I was hurting him. But he refused to let go.
I did the one thing I thought could work. I bit his tongue.
Xander moved his head back, glaring at me.
"I am hurting you Xander" I justified my action before I moved to get out of his hold.
Yeah I tried. It didn't work.
"Stop trying to get away from me" Xander said, annoyance laced in his voice.
"I am not. I just don't want to hurt you" I said softly, not wanting to anger him. Yes I was still a little scared of him but I lose all sense of preservation with this man.
"I heard what happened between you and the other guy. Lila didn't tell me much but she said that everything is a mess right now. Could you tell me what happened?" I asked.
"I think you would look pretty in ropes Kitten. Why don't you lock that door and then crawl towards daddy and then we can test my theory. Hmm?"
Ropes!!!!! What on earth was he talking about?
"Xander," I whined. "Please don't try to change the topic. I want to know what happened. Please tell me. Please" I begged
"You begging does things to me, Kitten and it makes me want to do bad things to you"
He wasn't going to talk. Not like this. But I was desperate because I was sick of being left out of whatever was happening. So I did something I knew would get him to talk. Taking a deep breath, I moved closer to his face, looked him right in his eyes and softly said,
"Please daddy"
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AUTHOR'S NOTE
Hey everyone,
I first wanted to clear some things:
So I wanted to first clarify that I am not ending the book any time soon. A lot of people thought that the previous chapter was the last chapter which was very surprising. Xander and Thea still haven't gotten together and I have a lot of things planned for this book
Another thing, English is not my first language so if you come across any errors please let me know (I would also appreciate it if this was done in a respectful maner :)). Also some people raised a question about if it is Rouge or Rouge. After seeing the dictionary definition I realized it was supposed to be Rogue. I apologize for the confusion. When I edit this book once it is finished I will make the changes.
Lastly, this book is more of a romance book so I am not going to be writing a lot of thriller stuff. So like the fight scene between Pedrova and Rogue, it would probably be very brief.
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Now since all of that is clear,
I am really really happy that so many of you are liking the book. I was very dicey about the plot and everything but so many of you showed so much love for the book, I swear I had tears
I am thankful for every vote and comment
Do follow me for any announcements I make related to the book :)
Enjoy and stay safe everyone