Chapter Fourteen: Numb Delirium
I was frozen to the spot completely. It took over everything.
Everything dropped from existence around me.
It became my world.
Inane whispers penetrated my mind. They were disjointed, soft and harsh with no real focus or meaning. It was singular but many. One voice but a crowd. Together but not in chorus like they were piling on top of each other. Loud silence. Maddening. Frustrating. Never ending. Shrilled sweetness. Suffocating. Insanity. Blinded euphoria.
I push my hands harshly to my ears, blocking the aural violation.
'Make it stop'.
Something catches my sight. My vision locks onto something thick and black oozing down my arm. I bring them in front of me. I watch in horror as my flesh melts from the bone. Shaking, darkening.
'Make it stop'.
A scream rips through my throat, crackling the vocals cords, straining until I could feel them snap. Bubbling. Liquefying flesh turning black, dripping slowly like wax under the intensity of a candle wick's flame.
My sight flickers between white, red and black in a continuous loop, fraying on the edges as I feel like I'm falling through vertigo. But nothing is moving. The whispers becoming more aggressive but I still could hear them.
'Make it stop'.
Something like a bullet shots through my skull and stuns my brain into suspended animation. What was left of my arms roll to my sides as I sit there, the strings to my body cut. I was limp. Lifeless. Liquid fire tears burn my cheeks. Why? Why am I not dead?
'Make it stop'.
Why doesn't it stop? This madness.
'Make it stop'.
Over and over. Those words. Are they my words? Over and over. Shut up.
Make it stop.
Shut up.
Make it stop. Make it stop. Make it-
Shut up! Shut up-shut-up-shut-up!
Make it stop.
Make it stop.
I glare at the mass in front of me. If it's going to drag me under-
I do not know how I could grab the blade beside me but my fingers curl around the contrastingly ice-cold handle.
-then I will fight it to the last shred of sanity.
I shakily get to my feet, something metallic mixed with something disgusting pours from my mouth, pooling on the floor as a mix of red and black.
'Make it stop'.
I sprint with the blade poised straight in front of me, I yell with everything I had. I stab the blade through the middle, a piercing glass on glass contrast ringing out. At first nothing happens. Frustration makes me see red as I drop the blade, clawing and punching at the giant pile of crystal, the jagged edges bite into my flesh. I punch harder, not caring anymore if my fists turn into a bloody pulp, the bones broken and crushed beyond recognition. I don't care anymore. Just shut the fuck up.
Tendrils of that darkness explodes from the centre climbing my arms as I struggle against it. The black liquid consumes my body as I sink to the floor. The oozing darkness swallows me, enveloping me like it was going to eat every bit of me as it drags me under. I struggle under the weight, still trying to get at the crystal. If it's attacking then that means that I'm making some sort of progress.
I gasp, as the slime climbs my neck, entering my lips. The same taste as before. It overruns my mouth, choking me as it still climbs further to my eyes that I shut tight. I feel myself sink into the darkness.
'Make it stop.'
Oh my god. You're still going on about that? Shut up already.
'Make it stop.'
...You're really a broken record. Can't you just be quiet long enough for me to die?
'It hurts so much.'
What does?
'It just won't stop. I scream and scream out over and over but- not listening.'
Probably because you won't shut up.
'Keep going. Keep going.'
Can't you continue the self-monologue after I die?
'Why does that light not fade?'
I'll take that as a 'no'.
'Those who hear me change. Change into something else. It doesn't stop. Always on and on. The light is still there...never stop. Not stopping.'
Like your speech apparently. Hang on... are these the thoughts of the Keystone?
I feel myself stir a little like I was sleeping submerged underwater.
'Every sun rising. Every moon setting. I wait. Wait. Wait. Take the light. That warm light. Wait. Wait.'
"Why?" I feel myself say.
The darkness freezes. 'Why?' It stops for a moment, almost contemplating my words. 'Wait. Wait. Day. Night. Wait. Wait. Change. Change. Change.'
I grit my teeth, "You're really running off your mouth aren't you?"
'Change...light. There is light. Give it to me. That warm light. Feels nice. Extinguish it. Smells nice. It's mine.'
I felt something squeeze down on my throat as the darkness slides down further. This really is a shit day. I'm being strangled and drowned, it's not comforting. Coughing, I struggling against the darkness. How am I supposed to fight something if it's everywhere? Surrounding and transparent like mist but thick like mud?
'Mine. The dreams are mine!'
"Enough," my voice was strange. Irritation bubbles up through my chest. More than fear. More than any other emotion that could flicker through my spectrum, I have had enough.
"You keep going on and on about yourself. All this shit about tainting light and shit. The need to be saved. Fine."
I saw it. A small flicker in the middle of all this muck. I poise my arm to reach for it the next time it appears.
'On and on. Give it to me! You are mine!'
There! I strike forward, my fingers straight as I reach for it.
My hand slips through something solid, the darkness gasps in surprise and recoils from my body, twitching as if it was dying painfully.
The darkness weakens and slips away, revealing what I had struck. It was buried deeply into someone's chest cavity, right through to the other side. Staring right back at me was some who couldn't be more than two years younger than me. I look at my arm and back up at him, my brain unable to process what's happening.
"Wh-wh..."
"Thank you." Blood starts to appear from the corner of his mouth. I do a double take as he's smiling, relief colouring his angelic features. Soft blonde curls covered more of his face, his big bottle green eyes glowing against his pale skin.
The darkness disappears around us, revealing a white room. A box with only four clear white walls. No doors. No windows. A smooth stone floor. And we are in the very centre.
"...You're the one that called me here," I state.
His smile doesn't falter, "...Yes. I call out, hoping you would hear me. ...But I forgot why until you...saved me."
I stare back, unable to move, a question escapes my throat before I could stop myself, "You have never thought of saving yourself?"
"There's no way back."
I glance around. He was right. It's a big white box.
"How did you get here?"
"I...always came here when it hurt. It was safe and away from everything but now...now I can't go back."
I frown. Am I causing that pain now?
He shakes his head, "The others. Before. They kept injecting stuff into me. Do tests...endless pain. Always. Always. They never let me sleep."
"Who?"
"I..." pain and hazy confusion flickers across his face. "I-I c-can't...I'm sorry," he whispers.
I shake my head, unable to supress my own sad smile, "It's ok." I've just killed him and now I'm demanding answers? Am I an idiot?
"You're...a strange one."
Gee thanks. "I've been told that a lot."
"...You shouldn't be here."
What? Inside this weird mind room? Is this what Anne see when she peaks into someone's head?
"I'm sorry," he mumbles again.
"Why are you apologising?"
"It's my fault."
I frown. I don't see how.
"I'm sorry...I...don't know why. But I can't remember a lot of this. My memories are hard to comprehend or grasp but I know it is my fault."
"I don't think so."
The sadness in his smile doesn't shift. "Thank you. But..."
I feel him reach for my free hand.
I feel a shock tingle through my fingers as his entwine with mine.
"You're...not like us...I'm happy. I can...let go. I was afraid but...you're here. I can finally let go."
"You said that-"
"I can't return. But I'm tired. So tired. Too much pain. Never ending. But you can end me. You...already have...I've waited so long."
How can he smile?
"Because you came. Because you made me realise that I can escape. Made me remember."
"Remember?' my voice cracks.
"Yep. You can't even imagine the relief I felt."
His free hand touches my arm that is piercing him. "You can hear them...you are them. You are what we shouldn't be."
"You're not making any sense." There's something strange about my arm. And I don't mean its imbedded in this guy's chest...
"Don't be afraid. I'm...sorry." As he whispers those words, his body begins to disintegrate, disappearing right before my eyes.
"Wait! Name. What's your name?"
He falters for a second, "...I...can't remember." But the smile returns, "But that's ok. You...got to see me like this as well. At least you can remember what I used to look like."
And he was gone. I collapse to my knees.
Like Markus.
Like Anne.
Like Cody.
Again. I can't take this anymore.
I'm left alone in the little white room as it fades away around me.