Poetry of a lost teen

8 years later

I find myself
On a winter's day like this
Instead of drinking hot coco
Snuggled in a blanket with fuzzy socks
Deeping how u really took the piss
And maybe it was 8 years ago
But maybe
Just maybe some scars dont heal
And I'm not talking about the ones on my wrists or my arms
Nor my legs
I'm talking about the ones that sit on my heart and hurt peoples heads
Im talking about the trauma
The inescapable mess u've made of my life
And now you come back
Begging for respect
And everyone encourages it
It's as if I'm meant to ignore years of constant neglect
As if it never had an affect
At such a young age
And 8 years later
Your running on my mind
Pacing in circles
And ur names everywhere
I get no peace from it
I cant relax anymore
Not with ur name being talked about
Not with you having involvement
After being gone so long
But it's my fault isnt it
My fault
You dont like me
My fault we cant talk
Not like normal people do atleast
Not ever
~H1