WAKING UP THE NEXT morning with my body sore is not fun. The adrenaline had worn off and now my fist is killing me.
JJ is still asleep on the floor. His snoring lets me know to not even bother waking him. I let him stay there in hopes he'll be alive enough with more hours of sleep for school tomorrow.
Tomorrow. I stare down at the bruised fist knowing I'd get a million questions.
JJ's face is bruised as well, the band aids came off in his sleep. The walk downstairs is anxiety inducing trying to figure out whether to lie or tell them what happened.
"Sam!" Brandon smiles at me as he walks in the big white doors with groceries. "What fucking time is it?" I ask through a stretch.
Brandon has groceries lined up on his arms but still checks his phone.
"11:24!" A quiet thanks left my mouth. I descend down the rest of the stairs checking my phone. The group chat only has Pope and Kie active this early in the morning. I like to pretend it's not almost the afternoon.
I stumble into the kitchen holding my fist in my opposite hand. Justin sits at the island in the kitchen drinking coffee. The amount of granite the kitchen had would have paid off my old house. The house was more old money rather than new money.
Which, I am very thankful for.
It feels more like a home. Something I'd never truly get used to having. Justin greets me with a smile before looking down at my fist. He pushes out his chair and runs over to me. I subconsciously hide my fist from the men because now Brandon is looking at my fist as well. "What the hell did you do?" I really would've preferred getting through this without questions.
This is the part where I try to figure out if I lie to them or tell the truth and risk them telling my mom. My cheeks puff up and I keep looking between the both of them.
"Sam, if you tell us we won't tell your mom." Brandon tells me, still reaching for my fist. They keep this promise every time, each time I run in high or drunk or needed a pickup along with The Pogues. I sigh and pull my fist out of my pocket.
They both gasp at the state of my hand. I want to gasp at my own fist now that I'm somewhat fully awake. My knuckles must've started bleeding in my sleep because there's dried blood. "So—Adrien showed up. He got released from the hospital. He showed up to be a dickhead I guess—fought JJ-"
"Is he okay?" Justin interrupts me.
I rolls my eyes,"Yeah. Your favorite child is fine. He's upstairs sleeping." Justin has always favored JJ. It's pretty obvious when he asks about him or let's him cook with him when he's over. Especially when he buys him clothes. He buys him clothes more than he buys me clothes.
"Anyway, I punched him in the face. A lot." My hand seems to have stung at my words, like it was triggering for my own body to think back to it.
I still feel guilty about hurting Adrien. A part of me knows I still care and that what I told him was a lie. Maybe I was saying it to convince JJ or myself that I completely stopped caring about Adrien. I care less definitely, I wish I didn't care at all. "You punched him in the face? Was he bleeding?"
"Yeah. He called me crazy—" I pause and look up for their reactions but all there is are small smiles "—Why are you smiling?"
"You should've punched him in the face a long ass time ago!" Brandon comments and Justin agrees.
Everyone is so proud of me and I should be proud of myself like I am after every fight I've ever been in. Instead, I feel the need to go check on Adrien, like everything I said last night was a lie and that he was right.
That I would come back.
I don't want to show up just to spite him. I know he's patching his face up—waiting for me to call or show up to his house down the road.
"I'm going to go clean my hand—-"
"Let me help—" Brandon reaches for my hand but I swat it away and just go into the kitchen to run warm water on it.
The warm water against my cut up knuckles makes me wince but I still continue.
I hear footsteps behind me. "Brandon, I said I'm fine—"
"How's the fist?"I jump at the sound of JJ's voice. I turn to face him where he has one bandage completely gone and the other hanging on by a thread. My eyes widen at the scratches all over his face. I look down at his fist that looks less damaged than mine but is damaged nonetheless. "Fine, are you?"
He nods and puts his hand through his hair. I watch as it spilts in the middle and flows.
I nod as well and go back to cleaning my fist knowing JJ doesn't like talking in the morning. As I'm washing my fist I feel JJ move my hair from my shoulder and rests his chin on my shoulder.
"Did you talk to the others?" He asks, his voice scratchy.
"Kie and Pope are up. Text them." I turn the water off when I'm satisfied and look at him on my left shoulder. His phone is open to the group chat.
'we are up'
My own phone chimes with his text. I pull out my phone and open the group chat to text 'so true'
A hum leaves the blonde's mouth next to me making me look at him puzzled.
"I have never seen that picture of me. The one for your contact," He clicks on his own contact to look closer at it, "When did you take this?"
It's not out of the norm for me to randomly take pictures of my friends but for some reason JJ pointing out the picture of him in the hammock made me feel annoyed? I scrunch my nose at him, "At some point. I have no idea. The other contacts are like that too, you're not special." I joke with him.
I lightly push him off my shoulder which makes JJ scoff.
"I am going to shower so that we can meet up with the others. Don't take any secret photos of me—" He stops and smiles "—Unless you're into that sunshine." My stomach did the stupid dropping feeling so I flip him off.
"Love you too." He laughs and heads towards the guest bathroom.
The dropping feeling still in my stomach makes me feel ill. Stupid fucking JJ.
I reach for the cereal and as I'm shoveling corn flakes in my mouth, Justin walks over to me looking like he had to tell me something he knows I won't appreciate. Through cereal I said,"What?" which comes out muffled as hell.
"The Cameron's are coming over later to discuss things with your mom and she wants you here." A fake smile is on his face because he knows how much I hate Rafe Cameron and his stupid polos. "Why? So I can be fat shamed in my own house like I was with my dad?" I try to crack a joke at my own expense but Justin doesn't laugh which make me stop laughing. I awkwardly shove more cereal in my mouth.
"You get along with Sarah don't you? Smile and deal with it. I'll bring alcohol to your room because she doesn't want you guys downstairs." Now I'm confused.
"So why do I have to be here?"
Justin shrugs, "Just be here."
With that, he walks away and I let out a deep sigh. I curse out loud at the thought of not being able to eat today simply because I don't want to deal with Rafe's judging stares. Wheezie is easy, all I'd have to do is her makeup and she'd be happy.
The group chat is blowing up as I tell them what I have to do tonight.
Kie: that venomous bitch. just ignore her
Pope: you're being a bit dramatic
Kie: no i'm not
I roll my eyes, not even awake enough to argue yet. Just as I'm about to text back I hear a knock at the door. I groan and look through the glass of the door because I'm honestly scared it's Adrien again.
Bailey?
Why is she here?
I open the door to my—ex? We never were officially dating but it was damn close to it. My jaw drops and my eyes keep looking her up and down. I want to say something but I can't.
"Miss me so much that you're speechless?" She flashes her pretty smile at me and I'm was extremely confused. I'm not mad or sad, I'm just surprised. She had grown a bit since last year. "H—Hi Bailey!" My brain finally catches up, the words getting caught in my throat.
"Hi!" She throws her arms around me and after a second I put my arms around her as well.
She still smells like strawberries...
Her hug comforts me for some reason so I hold her tighter. We didn't end on bad terms. She was a weird in between when Adrien and I were broken up for a couple months but got back together. She moved before her and I got serious.
We let go of each other and we just stare.
"You, uh, got taller!" I tell her. God, I really have no idea what to say.
"You got a septum! Like you said!"
There's an awkward tension. Mostly because of me though, Bailey is too extroverted to make things awkward.
"So, you seem to be settling into the Kook life," She looks around us and that's when I painfully remember that she grew up on The Cut. When we first met last year I moved away from my dad a bit after. I was in between with everyone and everything.
"No, no. I forget I have two front doors!" I say. She forces out a laugh which makes me bite the inside of my cheek in awkwardness.
"I moved back by the way," She answers the question lingering in my head but the answer makes me make an O with my mouth. "W—why?" I try to make it sound like I'm not in complete shock but it doesn't work.
"My mom—she moved back. My grandma wanted to really. She got tired of Florida."
Florida. I honestly forgot where she went. "So you stayed in the tropical zone?"
God, I need to shut the fuck up.
"Not by choice."
The silence surrounds us again.
"Sunshine! Where's my hoodie?" We both turn around at the shouting of JJ, "I left it in my bag but I can't find it." JJ isn't looking at us so he doesn't see Bailey, who he was friends with.
"Sunshine? Are you guys dating?" Bailey quirks.
That makes JJ look down at us. Goddamnit. "Bailey?" He runs down the stairs to hug her and she hugs back. The scene in front of me was a large contrast to what happened last night with Adrien. The differences between exes gives me a solemn feeling. They let go of each other and step back from each other still smiling.
"How are you?" That's when I took in JJ, he's shirtless with cargo shorts on. Of course Bailey doesn't care considering she's gay and all. I've seen him shirtless plenty of times so why am I tense now "I'm fine. How are you?"
I keep switching my eyes between them as I witness the conversation play out.
After a few minutes of me zoning out Bailey asks, "So, are you guys dating? You called her sunshine earlier."
JJ looks over the brunette's shoulder and I just open my mouth, oddly enough even though I know the answer, I don't answer. JJ must understand because he answers for me, "Nah, I just like calling her nicknames. Did you forget? I've done it since I met her." He smiles.
Actually, I told JJ not to call me nicknames in front of her when we dated because I didn't want to give her the wrong impression. "Oh, I must've!"
You could tell she's just pretending. If I'm being honest, I want this situation to be over with. "Well Bailey, you have a way to contact me. We have to go out with The Pogues, we'll see you at school though," I start ushering her out the door.
"If you're not too tired Bailey, sometime this week we're gonna have a party by the boneyard!" JJ invites her.
I turn to JJ with narrow eyes. He completely ignores me. "Sure! Text me when! Bye guys," Bailey smiles at us and I watch her walk down my sidewalk.
"J, really?" I place my hands on my hips.
"What? It's not like you ended on bad terms." His words are muffled as he has bread shoved into his mouth. "I don't mind it but like, could've gone over it with me."
"You didn't ask me last year if Lily could sit with us in science last year."
"She was alone and isolated."
He shoves more bread in his mouth,"Good."
A couple hours later we end up on the H.M.S Pogue, feet dangling off the boat just barely touching the water.
"So she just showed up to your house?" Kie asks.
"Yup, and JJ—invited her to a boneyard party."
All of them turn to the blonde who is lighting up a joint. "Why?"
"You guys act like we hate her. She's the only ex we like!" JJ replies. Kie and I roll our eyes. "Do you think she'll show up?" Pope asks.
"It's not that I don't want her to not show up, she just surprised me. Between the Adrien thing from last night, my brain shut down. It was so awkward," I reply with a loud sigh. Everytime I mention the fight my fist stings, almost making sure that the guilt hurts me.
"How's your body by the way?" John B asks as he drives the boat.
"I'm built like an ox, John B! I'm fine," JJ jokes but physically I knows he's fine. In his head he's plotting a murder or explosion. I would usually agree with him (especially with Rafe) but I can barely lift up my own fist without wanting to puke from guilt.
My eyes stare at his contact, wanting to text and see how bad his face is but at this point I feel like he's getting ready to send an army after us.
"Don't do it," Kie whispers. I gasp and realize she's looking at my phone.
I shut off my phone and sigh, "I feel guilty." Luckily the boys are talking loudly so they can't hear us.
"Don't, he got his ass beat twice in the same day. That should say something," Kie is always more gentle with me which I appreciate deeply. Growing up with guy best friends means getting bullied to the heavens.
She smiles softly at me and I return the smile as best as I can. "I love you, Kie."
"And I love you, Sam."
The water slightly splashes around us as JB drives faster in the water. The guilt is still around me but I'm having a good time.
Until I remember that I have to see Rafe later.
———