While Tony and Harley are preoccupied planning their next steps, Loki decides to look in on Pepper and Maya again. He never did make sure they really did get someplace safe. He supposes now is as good a time as any to check.
Pepper and Maya are both sitting on a bed, Maya with her legs outstretched while Pepper curls up by her feet. If they had been speaking, that doesn't last long; they both look over at Loki the moment he appears. He had expected to see the usual fear in their eyes, and while Maya definitely seems wary, Pepper just looks relieved. He hadn't expected that.
"Ms. Potts," he says with a polite nod. "Ms. Hansen. I hope I'm not interrupting."
Pepper shakes her head emphatically. "No, no, you're good!" she says quickly. "How's Tony? Is he okay?"
"He is fine," Loki assures her. "He is currently arguing with an eleven-year-old, so do with that information as you may."
Pepper laughs. "Of course he is," she says. "That's just like him."
Loki can't help the small smile that slips onto his face at that. "And are you okay?" He looks between the two women. He'd like to think they are, but he doesn't want to report back to Tony with confidence if he's not completely sure.
Pepper nods. "Yeah, we're okay," she says. "I'm just ready for all of this to be over."
Loki nods sympathetically. "I know."
"Do you know when that's gonna be?" she asks. "How close is he to finishing this?"
Loki shakes his head. "I can't say for certain," he admits. "He has asked me not to tell you exactly what he is doing. I suspect you would do best not to know, anyway. But Stark is smart and he is resourceful. He seems to be well on his way to putting an end to this."
"Wait, why can't I know what he's doing?" Pepper asks, furrowing her brows.
"I assume because he does not wish to worry you further," Loki says. "To just tell you the facts may sound hopeless, but I assure you, it is anything but. He is doing the best that he can, and that is what matters."
Pepper sighs. "Yeah, I guess..."
"Hold on," Maya says. "How do we know Tony's actually okay and you're not just saying he is?"
"You don't," Loki says. "But I would have no reason to lie about this."
Pepper frowns. "Yeah, but you don't really have a reason to tell the truth about it, either."
Loki presses his lips into a firm line. Great. Now she's doubting him, too. And he can't exactly prove that he's telling the truth; not with a thousand miles between them.
Finally, he just says, "You have no reason to believe me. I understand that. But I truly am here to help. Unfortunately, from this distance, all the help I can provide is relaying information, so that is what I am here to do."
"'From this distance'?" Pepper repeats, confused. "What distance? You're, like, five feet away from me."
Now Loki is equally as confused. "I'd assumed Stark had told you that I cannot leave the tower."
"Well, yeah, he did," Pepper says, "but you're standing right in front of me, so, you know..."
Loki shakes his head. "I am here only in spirit. Physically, I'm on the couch of Stark's so-called 'man cave.'"
Pepper stares at him. "Wait, seriously?"
Loki just nods.
"Okay, that's a new one," she says, clearly still processing it. "So why are you here? I mean, not here-here, but why are you helping Tony if you could just hang out back home?"
Home.
He misses having someplace he could call home. He hasn't had one of those in a long time. He certainly doesn't have one now.
"As much as I do not like the Avengers," Loki says, "they do breathe life into the place. Stark Tower is incredibly boring with no one else around." And, of course, he's trying to save Tony's ass, but he's not going to admit that one out loud.
Pepper's eyes go wide. "You're there alone?"
Loki furrows his brows. "Did he not tell you that?"
Pepper scoffs. "No, he did not tell me that! He told me Thor was still there!"
Loki cocks his head to the side. "Thor has been gone nearly as long as Stark has." Did he really not tell her that? Was he keeping it from her on purpose? That's probably something Tony should have told him before he came here. "You needn't worry about your home. Any harm I could bring to it would be bringing harm unto myself as well. I do live here."
She just nods, taking that in. Hopefully she believes it. He's not sure how else to make her feel better if she doesn't.
It's Maya who speaks next. "Do you need to get back to Tony now?"
Loki shakes his head. "If you would like me to leave now, I will, but I really do have no desire to return yet. He is incredibly annoying. I do not know how you put up with him."
That earns a laugh from Pepper and a snort from Maya.
"And yet, you're helping him anyway," Maya remarks.
Because if I don't and he gets himself killed because of it, I'll never forgive myself.
"I would rather be annoyed than bored," Loki says with a small shrug.
Maya nods slowly, eyeing him with the faintest hint of a smile on her lips. "You know, you looked a lot scarier on the news when you were leading an alien invasion."
Loki huffs a laugh. "Yes, well, that was my intention at the time," he says. He wanted to be fearsome; he wanted to be intimidating. Fear was as close to respect as he thought he could get -- and he was probably right. "Obviously, it did not work out in my favor."
"So, what, you just act like a normal person now?" Maya asks. "This is who you are when you're not trying to murder people?"
"Yes."
"Huh." Maya shrugs. "Cool. I guess."
Loki cracks a smile. "You accepted that surprisingly quickly." And he thought Bruce got over it easily. Wow.
"This is far from the weirdest thing that's happened to me lately," Maya says.
"Then you must have a strange life."
"Oh, believe me, I do," Maya says. She crosses her legs in front of her and looks up at him. "So why'd you do it?"
"I beg your pardon?"
"Why'd you try to take over the world?" she asks. "You really don't strike me as the 'world domination' type right now."
Loki hesitates, mentally weighing his options. He could try to explain it the way he did to Bruce a couple of months ago, but he doesn't want to take too long. He could give an abbreviated summary of his life and the tipping points, but that could still be weird. He has just met her, after all. He could play it for sympathy and mention the deals he was coerced into making, but he'd rather word not get back to the Avengers about that.
Finally, he settles on, "I did what I felt I had to do."
She raises her brows. "You're not going to give me any more than that, are you?"
"I will not," Loki says simply.
"Hmm," she hums.
"Hmm?" He cocks his head to the side, wordlessly asking her to elaborate.
"No, I just..." She shrugs. "I just think it's interesting, 'good' and 'evil' and how subjective they are."
"Ah." Loki nods in agreement. "A lesson many people could stand to learn."
"Tell me about it," she mutters.
Loki heaves a sigh. "I probably should go, though," he says, as much as he doesn't really want to put up with Tony. "I'm rather reluctant to leave Stark alone. I don't know that he can hold his own against that child."
Pepper laughs, which puts a small smile on his face.
"I will likely return soon," Loki tells them, "if that is okay with you both."
"You really don't have to," Maya says. "We're fine here. You should stick with Tony."
"If that is what you would like me to do, I will," Loki tells her, "but it was Stark who asked me to look in on you. If you are saying it for his sake, I do think he would prefer that I make sure you are okay."
"Good," Pepper says quickly, not giving Maya the chance to respond. "Then come back as much as you want, so I can make sure he's okay, too."
Maya frowns. "I really don't think that's —"
"It is," Pepper says. "It will make me feel better. Please."
Loki nods. "Then I will see you soon. Stay safe."
He vanishes from their room, but he doesn't go back to Harley's garage just yet. He returns to the tower, letting his magic rest for a short while. He runs his hands down his face, exhausted. God, it's nice to have a body again.
Loki teleports to the bathroom and turns the faucet on. The chill of the water running down his hands brings a smile to his lips, and he splashes it against his face. He's so tired. He can't remember the last time he's astral projected for even half as long as he has today. At least it's only a thousand miles or so. He supposes it could be worse.
He dries his face with the hand towel and turns off the water. He raises his gaze to the mirror, and he's awestruck by how pale he looks. Hopefully it's just from the cold water. If he's already having physical symptoms from astral projecting for so long...
He shakes that thought out of his head. He'll cross that bridge when he gets to it — if he gets to it. He teleports to his room and takes a seat on his bed, letting his head fall back against the wall. He takes a deep breath, preparing himself to do this again.
Here goes nothing.
Loki sits up and closes his eyes. When he opens them again, he's back in Harley's garage. It's like he never left.
"Oh, good, you're back," Tony says, hopping off the stool.
Loki raises an eyebrow. Okay, straight to business, apparently. Well, those 90 seconds of relaxation were nice when they lasted.
"Harley's gonna take us downtown to the site of the explosion," Tony tells him. "C'mon." He gestures for Loki to follow, already heading for the door, Harley right behind him.
"Are you not going to ask about Ms. Potts?" Loki asks. This seems rather out-of-character of him.
"Nah," Tony says, waving that off. "I figure if something was wrong, I'd see it on your face. Now c'mon." He gestures for him to follow again, and this time, Loki does.
"I think you overestimate my investment in your well-being," Loki tells him as they walk.
"Oh, I know you don't care about my well-being," Tony says. "But I'm pretty sure you're not completely heartless. If something happened to Pepper, I think you'd care at least a little bit."
"You would be wrong," Loki says. "I've told you already. I am here because I am bored. There is nothing more to it."
"Uh-huh," Tony says sarcastically. "Sure you are."
Loki just rolls his eyes. He's right, but he doesn't have to say it.
~~~
As they near the busier part of the city, Loki shields himself from view, but he still makes his presence known with the occasional comment that only Tony and Harley can hear. Any genuine conversation they have is led by Harley, and it doesn't last long. Tony looks to be lost in his own head, and Loki finds that every time he speaks, it startles them.
As they're nearing the site of the explosion, Harley asks, "When can we talk about New York?"
"Maybe never," Tony says. "Relax about it."
"What about the Avengers?" Harley asks. "Can we talk about them?"
"I dunno; later," Tony says, a little irritated. "Loki doesn't like to talk about them. He's still bitter that we beat him."
Loki raises an eyebrow. "If you'd like to talk about your friends, I will not stop you. I do not care that much."
"Yeah, you do," Tony says dismissively, his attention already shifted to the scene before him.
The site of the bombing has since been turned into a memorial, little trinkets littering the ground in honor of the lives lost. It's all backed into an alleyway, out of the way of anyone who isn't actively seeking it out. It's a convenient spot for such a monument. It's even more convenient for a supposedly dead superhero and a mass murderer such as himself to stand without drawing attention to themselves. Still, Loki stays hidden from view, just in case someone looks his way.
"Alright, what's the official story here?" Tony asks.
"I guess this guy named Chad Davis used to live roundabouts," Harley explains. He takes a seat on the ground, his feet lying within the crater in the ground. "He won a bunch of medals in the army. And one day, folks said he went crazy and made, you know, a bomb. Then he blew himself up, right here."
Tony walks around the alleyway, eyes scanning every inch of it as he takes it all in. "Six people died, right? Including Chad Davis?"
Harley nods. "Yeah."
"Yeah, that doesn't make sense," Tony says. He takes a seat next to the child. "Think about it. Six dead; only five shadows."
Loki raises an eyebrow. He doesn't want to say that this is a bit of a leap, but he does think it is. Where do the shadows even come from? There's probably a very obvious answer for why there are only five.
"People said these shadows are like the marks of the souls going to Heaven," Harley tells him. "Except the bomb guy. He went to Hell, on account of he didn't get a shadow."
Loki stares at him. That's the most ridiculous thing he's ever heard. He's not sure where Tony was going with his comment, but it couldn't have made less sense than this.
"You believe that?" Tony asks, much less judgemental than Loki's thoughts had been.
"It's what everybody says," Harley says.
Tony just shakes his head. The two lapse into silence, still sitting side-by-side, and Loki stays further away. He almost wonders if they even remember he's still here. He almost feels like he's not still here, with how little acknowledgement he's gotten. He doesn't really mind it. As long as he can see that they're both still alive, he doesn't care too much if they remember him.
"You know what this crater reminds me of?" Harley says eventually.
"No idea," Tony says monotonously. "I don't care."
Harley's undeterred. "That giant wormhole in New York," he says, beaming. "Does it remind you?"
Tony runs a hand down his face. "That's manipulative," he says. "I don't want to talk about it."
Loki fights back a laugh. Just when he thought he couldn't like Harley any more, he pulls out some classic manipulation. It could use some work — and in any other situation, Loki would be more than happy to show him how to do it better — but the fact that Harley's trying to manipulate Iron Man himself is hilarious in the best way.
Harley's smile fades to a look of concern. "Are they coming back?" he asks. "The aliens?"
"Maybe. Can you stop?" Tony asks, and he doesn't just sound irritated this time; he sounds... Well, he doesn't sound good. Loki debates stepping in, but he doesn't want to agitate him more.
"What happens if they do?" Harley asks. "What happens if it's different aliens this time?"
Tony sucks in a forced breath. "Harley, shut up."
Loki frowns. He feels bad that Harley's worried. He really does. But right now, he's far more concerned with Tony's ragged breathing. Is he okay? Is he dying? Humans can die in all kinds of weird ways, but this seems excessively out of nowhere.
"What if they come here?" he asks. "'Cause you don't have your suit. And the other Avengers aren't here. Could you still stop them?"
Tony clamps his hands over his ears. "Harley, I swear to god —" he says breathlessly.
Loki finally reappears, curiosity and concern getting the best of him. Tony and Harley both jump at the sight, but he'd expected that.
"Stark?" Loki says cautiously.
"Stop it," Tony breathes. He clamors to his feet and nearly loses his balance in the process. He stumbles a few feet down the alley until his legs give out from under him and he collapses to the ground, panting.
Harley looks up at the god. "Is he okay?"
Loki holds a hand out, a silent signal to stop. He eyes Tony for a few moments, hoping whatever this is will stop and they can move on like it never happened, but he doesn't seem to be getting better.
Loki walks over and crouches down in front of him, leaving a few feet between them so he's not crowding him. "Stark? Are you okay?"
Tony nods, but when he opens his mouth, no words come out, the only sound coming from his heavy breaths.
"Do you need help?" Loki asks, his tone growing more worried despite the effort he's putting in to try to sound only vaguely uninterested. "I can help Harley find a phone." They have healers of some sort in Midgard. He's sure they can be reached with a phone. Can't everybody in Midgard be reached by phone?
Tony squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head.
"Are you certain?" Loki asks. "What is happening, Stark? Are you going to be okay?" Because he's really going to feel like he's wasted his time if this is what kills him.
Tony nods. "Just—" He cuts himself off with a gasp for breath. He fans his face with his hands. "Anxiety."
Loki furrows his brows. Anxiety? Can anxiety have physical symptoms? How anxious must he be for this to be happening? And how does it stop?
He supposes the answer to that last question is obvious, though. It stops when Tony calms down. The real question is how does he get him to calm down?
"Stark, look at me," Loki says firmly.
After a moment of hesitation, Tony opens his eyes.
"Take a deep breath," Loki says. That usually calms him down when he's upset. Hopefully it works with anxious humans as well. "You are going to be okay. You are. Because you are Iron Man. With or without your suit, you are Iron Man, and Iron Man survives. Right?"
Tony nods, a little less forcefully than before. His breathing is beginning to slow. It seems like a good sign.
"When this is over, you get to go home and see Pepper again," Loki says. "Focus on that. Soon you will be back with your love, and this will all be nothing more than a bad memory. Hold on to that."
Tony nods again. "Yeah," he says breathlessly. "Yeah, I..." He runs his hands down his face. "I'm good. I'm..." He lets out a long breath and shoves a handful of snow in his face. His voice muffled by his hands, he mutters, "God, I'm so hot."
Loki frowns. Maybe he can shove his face in a pile of snow and not feel cold, but that's his species's natural habitat. If Tony is still hot with a pile of snow in his face, that might be a problem.
Tony tosses the snow aside, and a few chunks fly through Loki's incorporeal form. "Alright, let's..." He pushes himself to his feet, leaning heavily against the wall until he gets his balance. "Let's get back to work."
Loki stands up as well, eyeing him uncertainly. "Are you sure you...?"
Tony waves him off. "I'm fine."
"What the hell was that?" Harley asks him.
"Nothing," Tony says. "It was nothing."
"It didn't look like nothing," Harley remarks.
"Well, it was."
"What happened?" Loki asks. "What brought it on, and how likely is it to happen again?"
"I don't know," Tony says. "Can we just — can we not talk about New York?"
Loki furrows his brows. "Are you still anxious about New York? That was months ago." It feels like a long time ago even to him, and only a small fraction of his life has passed since then. To a human, shouldn't it feel longer? Not long enough to forget, maybe, but to move on, at the very least.
"Do you have PTSD?" Harley asks.
"No," Tony says. "Maybe. I don't — look, we're kind of in the middle of another life-or-death situation. Can we focus on that one instead?"
"But —"
"That would probably be best," Loki agrees, as much as it kills him to change the subject before he can figure out what's going on. He really does want to know if that was thoughts of New York haunting him — or, more accurately, he wants to hear that he's misreading the situation and that it wasn't the memory of their battle that temporarily incapacitated him. He doesn't want the guilt he knows that would bring. "What do you propose we do now?"
"Um..." Tony thinks about that for a minute. "I don't know. Harley, did Chad Davis have a family? A mother? Where's Mrs. Davis?"
"Where she always is," Harley says.
Tony clicks his tongue. "See, now you're being helpful."