Ariya
Five years ago: the day after
I way always an early riser, my body didn't know any different. It was usually five at the earliest, five thirty the latest. I was used to being the first one up.
My eyes fluttered open, there he was. His arm over my body, trapping me to his side. Our bodies were bare, nothing separating us.
We were connected.
I could hear the beating of his heart, the heavy breath exhaling his mouth as he breathed.
It reminded me when my brothers were at camp and he slipped into my bed in the middle of the night, to make sure I wasn't alone.
He shifted and I froze, moving his hand under his head while licking his chapped lips.
I relaxed against him.
I had to take it in, love the moment. Be happy.
I'd never see him again.
Present day-
"Ariya." His voice suddenly seeped into my mind, reminding me just how nice it felt. I waited for him to speak. For him to say something, to smile, to laugh. To stress, to be angry.
To remember.
But just like that, he sat down. Those two seconds of memory faded and his guard was back up.
Did he remember?
"Ariya... Kingston?" He read off of his computer.
I guess not.
"Yeah." I smiled, rubbing my palms together.
I needed this job, I really did. It paid extremely well, leaving me more than enough for Rylan and I. I had the credentials, I had the ethic. But could I work here, could I see the father of my son everyday?
Just go for it.
He doesn't need to know.
He probably doesn't even remember me.
How could he not remember me?
"Ariya, that's a beautiful name where is it from?" He asked. I gulped down the arising bile in my throat and breathed out a response.
"To be completely honest, I have no idea. People have told me it's Hebrew.. I've even got ancient India but I don't exactly know."
Talking to him, as if we're strangers. Strangers who never knew each other.
Acting like we've never spent hours on the phone at the dead of night everyday, acting like our history had never existed.
He knew everything about me, and I knew everything about him.
"I read over your resume, I'm quite impressed. It says here that you studied three degrees at once?" He leaned back in his chair while gazing forward at me. I nodded.
"Okay, shall we get started?"
-
"That's all I need from you Ms. Kingston." We both stood up as he led me to the doors. His hand placed itself on the dip on my back.
I shivered, feeling his touch again.
"Thank you." I breathed.
"Kameron!" He yelled loudly. I flinched as I watched Kameron's head twitch up before quickly running out towards us.
"Yes sir." He asked.
"Please show Ms. Kingston out." He demanded.
He nodded and placed his hand out for me to follow. I smiled at him and stepped into the elevator, threatening to blow out the breath that's been hitched in my throat.
The moment the doors closed I placed my palm on the wall of the lift and slumped my back, breathing out.
"Was it that bad?" He asked. I gulped back and shook my head. Feeling the need for some serious alcohol.
"I couldn't tell." I lied.
It was a half lie, to be completely honest.
The lift finally reached the lobby and he stepped out with me.
"Well, I guess I'll see you later Kameron with a k." I joked. He chuckled while shoving his hands in his pockets.
"I guess I will, Ariya.. with an A." I smiled at his humour, he remembered my name. I gave him a quick wave before heading into the parking lot. I walked back to my car and got into the drivers seat, locking the door.
Fuck.
I completely let myself go, that ache in my chest threatening to spill out. I let out that strangled gasp as the tears fell. They fell, and fell, and fell and I couldn't stop them.
I loved him, I loved him and I spent five years trying to get over him. The only man who made me go completely weak, the only man who truly knew me. I loved him. He knew everything.
Almost everything.
I was finally getting my life together, with Rylan and William. Now he pops up, back into my twisted life, god.
I hate him, but I love him.
How was I supposed to work here if I'd come back a sobbing mess. See that goddamn face.
He didn't change much, his facial features the same, stubble lining his jaw, he looked aged.
Like fine wine.
His muscles prominent, bulging through the suit.
The tie was sloppy, better than before but not perfect. You could tell it needed some tightening. He always had trouble with his tie.
I always did them for him.
It's obvious his love for basketball hadn't changed. The long nights of practice with me laying on the curb so he wouldn't get lonely.
We sacrificed for each other.
Yet, when I walked through those doors he'd simply forgot. Forgot about our twelve years of friendship? He forgot it all.
I gripped the wheel while resting my forehead upon the leather. Breathing in and out, trying to desperately catch my hitched breath.
I was pathetic, crying over some guy who hadn't made one simple effort to remember me. A guy who took no time to endure in the memories.
I shouldn't waste my breath on him, our past was long gone. He didn't matter anymore.
-
I shoved the key through the door and saw William and Rylan on the couch, take out on their laps. They both froze and looked at me like they had just been caught red handed.
I glanced at the counter seeing the twenty dollar bill laying in the same spot I had left it in.
"William." I groaned. Locking the deadbolts while kicking my heels off.
He tugged the rib from his mouth and spoke.
"We we're both hungry, and why cook when the delivery man can deliver the food to your door, that's their job.. they literally get paid to do that, it's just so sweet to think that I helped provide for another man's family."
"You took him out, didn't you?" I sighed.
"Yeah."
I didn't want to hide this from William. He asked me who Rylan's father was only once, after that he didn't want to push me. I just told him it was a teen pregnancy, dead beat father. I couldn't just spring this on him, the only person who knows are my brother and I'm planning on keeping it that way.
"Did you get him showered?" I asked while cleaning up their mess. William nodded while picking up a sleepy Rylan on his shoulder.
"I'll go tuck him in." He said before disappearing down the hall. I managed to throw out all of their garbage and walked down the hall, peering through Rylan's room just to see William placing a kiss on Rylan's head.
He glanced back at me like he knew I was there. I smiled while watching his take a few strides towards me.
"Somethings on your mind, what is it?" He asked, grabbing a hold of my waist to lead me into my bedroom and planting us both on the bed.
"Nothing." I shrugged off with a chuckle.
We both laid on our backs as I turned my head to gaze at him.
"I know you, Ariya. I know you well enough to know that it's not nothing." I didn't think my look of depression was that imminent, I'm joking, but still.
"Would you know me well enough if I said it was still nothing?" I asked, leaning forward to let our noses brush.
"You know you can talk to me." He smiled.
William knew Ariya Kingston, not Ariya Kingston. He respects his boundaries, and when I refused to tell him about my past he respected that. Or when he asked about the scars on my wrist, he respected that. No one really knew me, they know me as that single mom. That girl who got pregnant before university and fucked up her life. It was all an act, and I have no problem keeping it that way.
His fingers made circles over my wrist and I smiled.
"I know, babe. You know I would tell you if there was something." I shrugged while darting my eyes up then down.
"I believe you." He said before pecking the cold tip of my nose. It hurt lying to him, William had been with me through thick and thin, and this is how I return it to him.
"Come on, let's hop in the shower."
-
William had to leave in the middle of the night and I laid in bed with wide eyes.
Finally I reached for my phone and my finger hovered over his contact.
Zion
He knew, he was the only one to know.
Mikah didn't know neither did Jordan.
I finally clicked it and held the phone to my ear, tapping the sheet with my other hand.
"Riya? Is everything alright?" He asked.
I bit my lip before breathing.
"No." I sobbed out.
I let myself crumble, I could hear his laboured breathing at my words.
"What's wrong? Ariya? Talk to me, please." He begged.
"You know the job interview I was telling you about?" I managed to get out.
"Yeah."
"He's there, Zion. He was there and he didn't remember me. How could he forget?" I sobbed.
"Khyson?" His voice burned a hold deep into my heart.
"Please don't say his name, please." I begged while clutching the sheets.
"Yes, sorry."
Only our breathing was heard, neither of us not knowing what to say.
"If you get it, are you going to accept it?"
I have no idea.
"I don't know, if I do it'll leave Rylan and I better than stable, I could maybe even get a house for us, but I don't know if I could bare the face of seeing his Face everyday."
"Fuck him, take the job if you get it. He doesn't need to know.. sleep on it, it's far too late to be stressing let alone crying, wipe that pretty face of yours and get some rest, okay?"
"Okay.. thank you, Zion." I smiled to myself and wiped my cheeks.
"I love you, Goodnight." He said softly.
"Love you, goodnight."