ZEKIAH XYRIEL'S POV
"What the fuck?! W-What time is it? Oh no! Who the hell changed my clothes?"
Kinakabahan akong pabalik-balik ang tingin sa suot ko. I mean---It's my damn clothes but I didn't know who changed me! If ever that Shael did this, I'm not going to give him the chance he's been hoping for.
"Shit! Hala, anong nangyari? May masakit ba sa'yo o ano?" Shael suddenly arrived while holding a ladle on his right hand and wearing an apron.
Kumunot naman ang noo ko."W-Why are you here in my condo? At saka bakit ganyan ka? Why am I wearing different from last night?"
"Akala ko naman kung ano, iniwan ko pa naman 'yong nilulu---Shit! Paki-tingnan na lang 'yong phone mo, may sinend ako sa'yong video kagabi. I have to go back to look for the fried rice." He immediately went out of my room, leaving me confused.
Agad naman akong tumayo para iligpit ang hinihigaan ko. I still couldn't believe that he's inside my condo, cooking for my breakfast. Oh God! Hindi naman siya marunong magluto for goodness sake! Is he trying to burn my kitchen?!
Kahit na nagtataka ay kinuha ko ang phone ko sa table at tiningnan ang messenger. There was a video he sent to me 10 hours ago so I clicked it and watched. It was me, lying on the bed and Katria was beside me. W-Wait...Katria?! Narinig kong nagsasalita si Shael pero half of his body niya lang ang kita sa video at nakapameywang pa.
"You know what, Zeriel? He may be a cassanova to everyone's eyes but only those persons who are close to him knows his real personality. Totoo 'yong sinabi niya kanina, hindi siya nambabastos ng babae. Thanks to me, I taught her to become a man with respect to girls whoever they are. Babaero man siya pero tapat siya sa'min na wala pa siyang nai-kama kahit na isa. I'm proud of him because he never forget his limitations in anything." Katria said when Shael wasn't inside my room and she already dressed me up.
The video had finished and the door opened, revealing him looking so messy. 'Yong apron madumi na tapos gulo-gulo pa ang buhok niya at pawis pa. Seriously? Something happened to him in the kitchen.
"T-Tapos mo nang panoorin ang video? It's my idea to take a video of that so that you won't keep on blaming me for touching you without a permission," he said in a monotone voice.
Tumango naman agad ako."And why are you like that? Anong ginawa mo sa kusina ko? You don't know anything in the kitchen."
Tumayo na ako para lumabas at tingnan ang kalagayan nito. My eyes widened and looked at the kitchen utensils scattered everywhere. I get it one by one and cursing him inside my head for what he did. Ngayon, mas malala pa sa dinaanan ng bagyo ang kusina ko.
"Zeriel, sorry na. Shit! H-Hindi ko talaga sinasadya. I just tried it because I want to cook for you. Sinubukan kong ayusin pero hindi ko talaga alam kung pa'no," he tried to explain nervously.
I crossed my arms over my chest and smirked while looking at the foods in the table. The fried rice was okay like he's expert in cooking it. The fried egg wasn't cooked that good but I think this will do. And the hotdog, the easiest among all of them was like being tortured. Karamihan ay sunog tapos ang natira naman ay mukhang hilaw pa.
Okay. He doesn't have any future on becoming a chef. Kung hindi ba naman magkakagulo ang kusina, hindi rin maayos ang pagkakaluto ng mga pagkain.
"Take off that apron you're wearing. Maghugas ka ng kamay bago ka kumain," kalmado kong sabi.
I have no other choice but to eat these foods. Niluto niya pa rin 'to at bawal ang magsayang ng pagkain. May klase rin ako pero hindi naman kami agad-agad na mag-oopen para sa finals kase kakatapos lang naming mag-exam. Of course, we have to rest ourselves.
Hindi niya naman ako kinukulit pero sabay kaming pumunta ng University. Though, we're using our own car since he really did his promise to take my car. He's not saying it but I can feel that he seemed to change a little now. Palaging nakangiti tapos kapag nakaharap siya sa'kin umaaktong normal lang.
Tsk. Since when did he started to pretend?
"Magkasama yata kayo? You're close? Is there any development?" nakikiusyoso na naman ang chismosang si Katria.
I boredly look at her."Why do you ask? As far as I remember, you lied to me so why do I have to answer you? Ayaw kitang kausapin."
"Mukhang mag-aasaran pa kayo. I'll go first so that you could talk. Bye, Zeriel." He smiled and waved his hands on me.
I gave him a small smile and nodded before facing Katria who's bugging me. Inirapan ko naman siya saka patuloy na naglakad kahit na alam kong nakasunod pa rin siya sa'kin. She doesn't have plans on letting me go, huh?
"Girl, hindi ko intensyon 'yon pero kung wala akong ginawa e 'di sana wala kayo sa stage niyo ngayon. Duh, mag-isip ka nga. In fact, you should be thankful to me because I still helped you guys even if I also have my own little problem."
Little problem? Talk to the air, Kat!
"May pa iyak iyak ka pang nalalaman tapos mukha lang pala akong shunga na pumunta para lang sa wala. I swear, if ever that it happened again, you're going to face it by yourself." Mabilis akong naglakad dahil hindi pa rin nawala ang inis ko.
"I dressed you up last night so were even. Kakatapos lang kaya ng date namin ni Daron tapos nag-paepal na naman si Shael," she sounded like a mad puppy now.
"Ugh! Fine, you're forgiven. 'Wag ka na ngang sunod nang sunod sa'kin, papasok na ako."
The whole class went smooth and it feels so comfortable. It's either I'm not having a bad day or I don't have any problems to face for now. Mabilis rin akong nakakaintindi sa konting discussions kahit na hindi gaanong madali ang pambungad sa amin. We're starting to tackle our finals but it's not that rough since today's the first.
I'm planning to have a lunch with Alina so we're gonna see each other at the cafe. Medyo nauna lang siya ng konti sa'kin dahil may inaayos pa ako para sa finalizing ng grades namin sa semi-finals. We were asked to sign our names as a proof that we finished our tasks completely. Tomorrow is the releasing of our grades so we have to bring it home and let our parents sign. Kahit sino sa kanila, either a mother or a father.
I have no other choice but to let mommy sign it. Alangan naman 'yong gagong ama ni Scarlet ang papirmahin ko. He has no right to sign my hardwork.
"Gusto ko ng isang tanong, isang sagot. Did you give him a chance?" agad niyang tanong nang makalapit ako sa table niya.
I sat first before looking at her."I didn't exactly tell him that I'm not forgiving him but it was kinda confusing. Basta, kung hanggang saan ang kaya niyang ipakita sa'kin okay lang."
"Wow! Is that really my cousin? Zeriel, nagsimba ka ba? Did you drink a potion or you were just charmed by his charisma." She dramatically held her chest as if she couldn't take it.
Napailing na lang ako."I don't go to church, Alina. Marami na akong naging kasalanan kaya nakakahiya kung papasok ako ro'n. Seems like the church is for sacred people only."
"Okay, whatever. Pero 'di nga? You finally let him court you, I mean---he's the first guy you trusted after your not-to-mention first love." She rolled her eyes, looking disgust after saying it.
"He's really determined to court me so I can't reject him for the nth time. Baka umiyak pa ng dugo, ako pa ang may kasalanan," I joked.
Uminom kami ng Cafe Americano na inorder niya para sa'kin para daw pampabuhay ng spirit. Though, I felt so alive without knowing why. Siguro ito 'yong feeling na wala kang iniisip na kahit ano at hindi mabigat ang loob mo.
"Hey, Zeriel. Pwede mo ba akong samahan mamaya?"
Naibuga ko ang iniinom ko sa mismong mukha ni Ali na ngayon ay hindi maipinta ang mukha. What the fucking fuck?! This guy keeps on surprising the hell out of me! Pwede namang mag-excuse me muna bago magsalita.
"Ay, shit! Zeriel...Damn! I'm sorry about shocking you." He get a tissue on the table and slowly wiped the side of my lips.
"What about me? Hindi ka magso-sorry sa ginawa mo? Look! Sa mukha ko tumapon ang---Eww! Argh!" Alina get his attention while wincing because her face look so gross.
Shael panicked and gets another tissue for her."S-Sorry...Sorry talaga, Alina. Hindi ko alam na nambubuga pala ng inumin si Zeriel kapag gulat---Aray naman! Oo na, sorry."
I glared at him because he's pertaining that I always do such a gross thing whenever I'm shocked or surprised. Ngumiti naman siya ng pilit sa'kin at napakamot sa batok niya.
"Babe---What happened?" tanong kakarating lang na boyfriend ni Alina.
She immediately stood up and come closer to her boyfriend."I'm in a mess, babe. Samahan mo'ko sa lockers room, kukuha ako ng pamalit."
"What brought you here? Paano mo nalaman na nandito ako kasama si Ali?" tanong ko nang makaalis sila.
He sat on the place where Alina seated earlier and sat properly."Uhm...Are you free after class? Gusto sana kitang isama sa grocery store para mamili ng ingredients sa lulutuin ko. I'm inviting you on a dinner in my condo. Okay lang sa'yo?"
"That's all? Naglakad ka ng isang kilometro sa ilalim ng sikat ng araw para lang sabihin sa'kin 'yan? Am I that special?" hindi ko makapaniwalang tanong.
He's not this serious, right? Sobra naman yata siya.
He licked his lower lip that makes him sexier."Well, you're special to me. Alam mo naman siguro ang epekto mo sa'kin kaya ko ginagawa 'to. So I'm telling you that there's nothing to be surprised if I do unexpected things just for you."
Nalaglag ang panga ko sa sinabi niya at hindi nakapagsalita. Is he trying to haunt me? I'm not easy to get in this kind of style but why is it that I easily get affected? Porket ba crush namin ang isa't isa ganito na?
"O-Okay...Just wait me in the parking lot after class. I have my own car but we can go there together." I cleared my throat and played with the straw of my drink.
"Got it. I'll wait you there. See yah later." He winked at me before leaving me breathless.
Ilang beses kong pinaypayan ang sarili ko dahil sa lakas ng kabog ng dibdib ko. He's doing it again, trying to charm my heart that could never resist him. Kahit na anong gawin ko, gano'n pa rin ang nangyayari sa t'wing malapit kami sa isa't isa. And I just realize it now, maybe because I already let my heart follow what it wants.
Our classes ended like a lightning. Sobrang bilis ng oras na para bang sinasadya talaga para magkita ulit kaming dalawa. I didn't even glanced at my wrist watch for once. Umakto lang akong mabagal na naglakad papunta sa parking lot para hindi halatang excited ako.
Wait...Am I? Tsk. Hindi ah.
"Ang bilis mong nakarating ah? Excited?" he smirked to tease me.
Nang-aasar ba siya sa'kin?! That side of him is what I hated the most. It doesn't feels good when he's trying to piss me off.
"Yeah. May pupuntahan nga pala ako kaya hindi ako makakasama. Since you're old, I bet you can go on your own," I lied and gave him a fake smile.
I saw how his reaction changes from a happy-go-lucky to a serious one. Ha! Gotcha! Hindi lang naman siya ang marunong mang-asar. Duh? I have my ways to annoy anyone who's doing the same thing to me.
Dahan dahan siyang lumapit sa'kin na seryoso pa rin ang tingin. I wasn't affected at first but when he come closer to me like our lips were two inches apart, I felt like I was going to melt any second from now. Nang maramdaman kong hindi ko na kaya pa ang mga titig niya ay saka ako lumingon sa kabilang gilid.
Sa sobrang lakas ng tibok ng puso ko, parang nahihirapan na akong huminga. And it's because he's so freaking near on me. Nakasandal lang ako sa kotse ko habang siya ay halos idikit na ang katawan sa'kin para mukhang niyayakap niya ako. I pushed him a little that made him smirked and then pretended to act normal. Bakit parang ako lang ang naaapektuhan dito?!
"Kung gusto mong sumama pa ako d'yan sa grocery na sinasabi mo, umayos ka." I turned to the other side and opened the driver's seat to come in.
God! Muntik na 'yon! Ayoko pa naman maulit ang halik na 'yon. T-That's...That's below the belt!
Mabuti na lang at hindi kita sa labas and nasa loob kaya kampante akong hindi niya nakita ang reaksyon ko. I don't even know why I'm sweating even though the aircon is turned on to the coolest temperature.
Damn. Kaya ayokong masyadong malapit sa kanya eh.
"Alin ba dito ang bibilhin natin? Do you have any list?" I raised my eyebrow at him.
He nodded and get a cart for our groceries. He gave it to me and he get another basket for himself. Ano to?! We're going to separate ways? Gano'n ba karami ang bibilhin niya?
"What are you waiting for? Let's go," aya niya sa'kin at gumilid para mauna akong maglakad.
Who taught him to be gentleman? As far as I know, he's not that kind of guy.
Kumunot naman ang noo ko nang mapansing wala siyang dalang papel."You said that you have the list. Where is it? Paano ko naman malalaman ang kukunin ko kung walang lista?"
"I memorized it well so you don't need to worry. Pero teka...Oo nga 'no. Wait, here." Umalis siya saglit tapos pagbalik niya may dala na siyang sticky note."Here's the groceries that you'll have to find and put inside the cart. Alam ko naman 'yong akin kaya do'n ako sa kabilang side at ikaw naman dito lang. Nandito lang sa section na 'to ang mga kukunin mo. We'll see each other at the meat section."
He left me without even letting me say anything. Okay? Why is he that genius? Gano'n ba talaga ang mga estudyante ng accountancy?
Sinunod ko ang mga sinulat niya sa note hanggang sa makakalahati ako ng cart. I finished first so I went to the meat section like what we agreed. I waited there for almost 10 or 15 minutes before he arrived...with a girl at his back. Mukha namang wala siyang pakialam na may babae sa likuran niya kase busy siya sa kakausap sa sarili niya. I think he's recalling the groceries so that he won't miss any ingredient.
"Ay, teka. Nand'yan ka na pala, Zeriel. Can you hold this for a minute? I forgot to get a shrimp crackers." He gave me the basket so I put it above the cart because it's too heavy to carry.
"You're the model that was issued with Shael, right? New toy?"
I glanced at her and raised a brow."Talk to the air if you want. I don't entertain bashers and you look like one."
"Palaban, huh? Well, ganyan naman talaga ang mga babaeng nakakasama ni Shael. They were acting brave because they know that he would defend his toys. Poor you. Akala ko pa naman high class ka."
That made me burst out of anger and grabbed her shirt around the neck. Sinakal ko siya hanggang sa kaya ng lakas ko kaya kinalmot niya ako para bitiwan ko siya. But I didn't, instead I pushed her with all my strength that's why she sat on the floor.
"I always remain high class whatever I do, bitch. And what I did just now is only a sneak peak of my demon side. Kung ayaw mong ibuhos ko lahat ng ka-demonyohan ko sa'yo, umalis ka sa harapan ko," walang emosyon kong sambit.
"Punta na tayo sa coun---What the fuck?! Zeriel, okay ka lang?" He jumped a bit after seeing the girl on the floor while I'm just standing here and closing my fists.
I glared at him like he did something bad."Why are you asking me that? Siya 'yong nakasalampak sa sahig at ako 'yong nakatayo."
"Can't you see that I'm lying here, Shael? 'Yang babaeng 'yan ang gumawa nito sa'kin. She's a hundred percent bitch!" Sinamaan ako ng tingin ng babae at tumayo sa sarili niya.
Ha! Maybe she realized that Shael doesn't have a plan on helping her.
"Yes, I'm the goddess of all bitches so what now? May magagawa ka ba?" naghahamong tanong ko sa kanya.
Pumagitna naman si Shael sa'ming dalawa at tumingin sa'kin."Stop calling yourself a bitch because you are not. Huminahon ka lang, 'wag mo na lang pansinin ang mga bubuyog sa tabi-tabi."
"What did you say, Shael?! Me? A bubuyog? Baka gus---"
"You shut up motherfucker! She's not a bitch and she's not like you. Para sabihin ko sa'yo, hindi ko siya pinaglalaruan. You're just nothing compared to her." His voice is cold and it brought a different tension to me.
I never heard him using this tone on me or even to his friends. Naiinis ba siya o galit talaga?
The girl was struck for a minute but eventually stepped back."N-Nahihibang ka lang, Shael. You're just attracted to her but you never did like a girl. Bakit, ha? Ano bang nagustuhan mo sa babaeng 'yan maliban sa ganda niyang pang-model at ugali niyang maldita?"
"She's special and I'm just the one who noticed it. Hindi siya ang kusang lumalapit sa'kin dahil ako ang lumalapit at naghahabol sa kanya. Hindi niya ako pinapansin kaya nagpapapansin ako sa kanya. She rejected me not just once but I still pursued courting her. Wanna know why? Kase hindi ganda at katawan ang habol ko sa kanya. I don't care if she has that attitude but that's making me fall for her deeply. Gano'n man ang tingin niyo sa kanya, hindi lang kayo bulag pero tanga talaga." He pulled my arms gently with his other hand while the other was pulling the cart.
I keep quiet until we reached the counter and he paid the groceries using his credit card. He's not talking and even taking a glance on me. When I was about to remove my hand from his hold, he immediately turned his gaze on me and his darkened eyes was replaced by a soft one. Kaya pala busy ang cashier sa pagco-compute ng pinamili niya dahil siguro natakot siyang tingnan. Agad rin naman niyang binitawan ang kamay ko at umiwas ng tingin.
"Sir...Your groceries are already paid but your account balance is zero." The cashier gave back his credit card and he accepted it with the same reaction.
"I don't care. We'll go now." Binitbit niya ang tatlong plastic bags at sinenyasan akong sumunod sa kanya.
I opened the back door of his car so that he could put it all inside. It was all heavy but he has muscular bones so it's nothing for him. Alam ko rin na hindi siya gentleman kaya ako na mismo ang nagbukas ng pinto para sa sarili ko. Hello? I'm not even thinking of him doing that for me.
"Bakit ganyan ka? That reaction doesn't fit on you," sabi ko na lang dahil parang sinasakal ako ng katahimikan.
He looked at me in the rear mirror and focus again on driving."Bakit? Hindi ka sanay? I don't really use this kind of expression but I was forced earlier. Nakakainis ang babaeng 'yon , kung makapagsalita akala mo naman malinis."
"And what makes you mad? Ako lang naman ang ginulo at hindi ikaw pero mukhang mas apektado ka pa kaysa sa'kin." I looked outside to feel the cold wind blowing my hair.
"Kase iniinsulto ka niya eh. Ayoko sa mga gano'ng tao, 'yong namemersonal na para bang kilala ka talaga nila kaysa sa sarili mo. I don't do that and it's pissing me off. Kung ako kase ang gumawa no'n, para ko na ring binastos ang mommy ko at si Katria." Humigpit ang hawak niya sa steering wheel na para bang may pumitik sa loob niya.
I looked back at him and closed the window because it's messing up my hair."We're in a modern world. Full of perfectionist, liars, backstabbers and traitors. Hindi na maiiwasan ang mga bagay na 'yan. Habang tumatagal, nagiging toxic na nga ang mundo."
"Would you let the world change you from who you are? I mean---kapag sinaktan ka ba ng mundo, magbabago ka ba para hindi ka na niya masaktan ulit?"
That question keeps on playing my thoughts. Nagsisimula na akong mag-overthink. Hinuhukay na naman ang mga nangyari sa nakaraan na binaon ko na sa limot. I-I just realized that I haven't forgot those bad memories. It will stay on me whatever happens.
"I already felt it. That feeling when the whole world is against you. Mahirap bumangon, mahirap gumalaw, mahirap magsalita, lahat mahirap na lang gawin. No one was with me but my mother and Alina. 'Yong mga panahon kaseng 'yon nagsasabay lahat ng mga problema ko. Family problem and trust issues. Seems like I have nothing to hold on." Napatitig ako sa kawalan nang sabihin ko 'yon.
Hininto niya na ang sasakyan dahil nakarating na kami sa building ng condo namin. He lean his back on the seat and turned his gaze on me. Nanatiling gano'n ang reaksyon ko at hindi nagpakita ng kahit anong pagmamakaawa sa kanya. I don't want someone to pity me. Hindi na ako gano'n kahina gaya ng dati.
"You may feel that the world is against you, don't lose hope. Remember that you have always God beside you. He will be with you throughout your journey. Hindi lang naman ikaw ang nakakaranas ng ganyan," he said casually as if he's just giving a little advice to a kid who cried in front of him.
Tinanggal ko na ang seatbelt ko at lumabas ng kotse niya."Ever since I stumbled down, I never call for God's help nor prayed to him. Tumayo akong mag-isa at tanging kakampi ko lang ay ang sarili ko at si Alina. Hindi na ako nakakapunta ng simbahan."
"Soon...Zeriel. I'll take you there to let go all the pain and sadness that you've been carrying for too long."
Hindi ko narinig 'yong sinabi niya kaya nauna na akong umakyat. Even if I left him, I'm still gonna wait here outside his condo. But I entered my condo first and changed my clothes faster. I was just wearing a simple polka dots pajama and oversized gray shirt. I tied my hair in a bun before going out of my condo.
Halos kasabay lang ng paglabas ko sa pintuan ang pagdating niya sa tapat ng pinto at parang nahihirapan sa pagdala ng pinamili namin. He looked at me from head to toe and raised his eyebrows.
"Ang bilis mo naman yatang nakapagbihis. Besides, we're not going to have a pajama party. Mukha kang Nanay sa suot mong 'yan."
Nagsalubong ang kilay ko sa sinabi niya."N-Nanay?! Are you insulting me? I thought it's not your thing! Oh, yeah! Liar!"
"Chill ka lang, Ms. Maldita. I'm just describing you but I didn't say that it doesn't look good on you. Maganda ka naman kahit pa naka---"
"Ano?! Sabihin mo!" I cut off his words and gave him a deadly look.
He smirked as he opened the door of his condo."Kahit pa nakasuot ka ng gutay-gutay na damit, ang ibig kong sabihin. 'Wag kang ma-high blood. Tara, pasok ka na."
He let me enter inside first even though he has to carry those three heavy bags. I want to help but as I can see, he can do it on his own so I'm out of it. Dumeretso siya sa kusina pagkasara niya sa pinto para ilagay ang lahat ng groceries. I'm not sure if he could make it.
Nilibot ko na lang muna ang paningin ko sa mini sala niya. The furnitures, mini-table, couches, and the sliding door on his little balcony. Hindi naman nakalagay sa tama ang lahat pero hindi naman makalat tingnan kaya okay na siguro. Maya-maya pa ay bumalik siya at hinanap niya kaagad ako.
"C'mon, sit down for a while. May gagawin lang ako kaya 'wag kang malikot." He sat beside me and opened the drawer on the mini-table to get a first aid kit.
Kumunot naman ang noo ko."Bakit mo'ko gagamutin? I don't have any---"
"Meron kang kalmot sa braso mo, kailangan magamot 'yan. Don't be stubborn and stay still. Ayokong masaktan kita."
I know that he's pertaining to my scratches but it has a double effect on me. Nababaliw na rin yata ako!
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