[kyun? naa hum-tum,]
Sohni dharti Allah rakkhe
Qadam qadam aabaad
Qadam qadam aabaad tujhe
Qadam qadam aabaad
Sohni dharti Allah rakkhe
Jab yeh sohni dharti
Allah ne banaayi hai
Toh woh shaad bhi rakkhe ga
aur aabaad bhi rakhe ga
Tera har ik zarrah hum ko
Apni jaan se pyaara
Tere dam se shaan humaari
Tujh se naam humaara
Jab tak hai yeh dunya baaqi
Hum dekhen aazaad
Hum dekhen aazaad tujhe
Hum dekhen aazaad
Sohni dharti Allah rakkhe
Qadam qadam aabaad
Qadam qadam aabaad tujhe
Qadam qadam aabaad
Sohni dharti Allah rakkhe
The smile that appeared on my face at the
Jab tak hai yeh dunya baaqi,
My future husband would be so jealous if he saw it.
Mwah, Atif Aslam.
I ran down the stairs and found Mr. Weird Questions on my way.
His eyes flirted with mine before he walked up the stairs and I rolled my eyes after he was gone.
Waking up was so awkward, watching him sleeping on the window sill and just being in his room in itself... I don't know, I didn't like it.
And I don't like how it sounds. I shouldn't have slept in his room.
I saw Ibrahim downstairs. Ya khudaaya.
Mamu, khala, Zainab.
I squealed and ran to my five year old cousin, "Ibrahim! Kaise ho?" Unable to contain the excitement, I squeezed the life out of him with just one hug.
Itna cute kaise ho sakta hai koyi?
I had only seen him in pictures and he had always been so cute.
He shyly hid behind his mumma's dupatta.
I looked up at them all and got up from the floor, "Assalamualeikum waa Rehmatullahi waa Baarekatuh, kaise hain aap? Pehle kyun nahin milne aaye?"
"Pehle jab aaye the tab tum so rahi thi," Mama gave me a taunting look.
Khala looked at me with delight, "ae Zaira ai?"
I shrugged and flicked my hair back, flaunting my beauty. Mamu replied to my salam.
"MashaAllah," Khala adored me and then started interviewing me even though she has no son around my age.
Ibrahim kept on stealing glances using his big MashaAllah eyes and after a while, I picked him up and filled his cheeks with kisses.
It took him time to open up, but once he did, he sang me the whole ABC.
"Haaye Allah, kitna pyaara lagta hai yeh. Abbh alif be bhi toh sunaao."
Khala shot her eyes at me, "woh nahin aati isse."
I chuckled in confusion, "Ji?"
"Woh nahin sikhaayi. Tootti phootti aati hai bas. Abbhi do hafte mein Canada jaa rahe hain hum."
I looked at him and noticed he hadn't spoken a single word in urdu.
"Toh? Iss ka urdu se kyaa lena dena?"
"Kyaa faaeda urdu ka? Achha hai abbhi se English bole, wahaan jaa ke koyi masla naa ho."
It upsets me so much. The way she talked about such a beautiful language with no enthusiasm.
"Canada jaa ke kabhi waapis aane ka iraada nahin hai?" I asked, even though the answer was apparent.
"Yahaan? Yahaan waapis aane ka?"
I nodded,
"Aayein ge garmiyon mein har aik do saal baad, InShaAllah. Zindagi basar karne toh kabhi nahin. Iss mulq mein rehna naamumqin hai."
Mama engaged her with another topic while all the thoughts ran around my head.
"Iss mulq mein rehna aur achhi dimaaghi sehat hona naamumqin hai." I corrected her.
"Yehi toh," she started talking about mental health and the importance of freedom and then proceeded to talk about a relative who had depression and God knows how, it all ended up in backbiting of a far far relative, while I looked at her in surprise.
"Yehi toh, yehi toh badalna hai. Iss mulq mein rehna naamumqin hai nahin, banaaya jaa rahaa hai. Aap jaise log—" shit, "—Mujhe, mujhe lagta hai iss mulq se baaher break ke liye jaaya jaa sakta hai, fresh hone jaa sakte hain, parrhaai ke liye jaa sakte hain kyun ke yahaan taaleem achhi nahin, lekin iss mulq ke humaare oopar bohot ehsaanaat hain. Aur unnhain chukaane waapis aana chaahiye sab ko. Joh taaleem haasil karne baaher jaate hain uss hi se waapis aa ke mulq badal—"
"—Kyaa keh rahi ho, Zaira? Zindagi khatam ho jaae gi yeh mulq nahin sudhre ga, iss mulq ka koyi future nahin hai."
"Mustaqbil hota nahin, banaaya jaata hai." I used papa's dialogue.
"Kehne ki baatein hain. Kehte hue asaan lagta hai, tum aik saal guzaar ke dikhaao yahaan, phir baat karo."
I was all focused on what she was saying, but the second Mr. Perfectionist came into sight, my eyes ran to him like a metal gets attracted to magnet.
"Pehli baat, main kabhi waqt guzaarun hi naa, zindagi jeeni aati hai mujhe." My eyes stayed on him until mama smacked me on my head.
I looked at mama, then back to him. He gave me an... I don't know what it's called but he frowned and raised his eyebrows and I know it was because he was impressed by my dialogue, but I don't know why he does it with such flirtatious eyes.
He'd been flirting with me since morning and I was sick of it.
"Shagufta chhadd innu, isse shauq hai debates ka. Awain lagi rendi ai, tun sunaa, kadun di flight aa?" I heard mama in the background.
I looked down to the files in his hands along with the laptop as he headed out of the house and I ran behind after a loud Allah Haafiz to everyone.
"Kahaan jaa rahe ho?" I asked, "Mujhe bhi office jaana hai!"
"Huh? Kis khushi mein?"
"Papa se baat karni hai."
"Phone hai tumhaare paas." He sat on the driving seat.
Kabbhi khuda mauqa de tou iss ko kisi khaai mein phenk doon.
If I say Achha? Mujhe toh pataa hi nahin tha? he'll show more attitude.
I ran to the passenger side, "Nahin naa, sawaal poochhne hain kuchh. Face to face hi ho sakta hai, darwaaza kholo naa."
He pushed the keys inside. I forced my hand down the window to unlock the car but the window was rolled up too high.
"14 August baad mein sab ne manaana hai, mili-nagme sab ne gaane hain, lekin mulq ke liye kuchh karne ki baari aaye? Zyaada se zyaada uss ke liye bache ko fouj mein bhej do. Yehi hai bas Pakistaniyon ka.
Rishwat phir bhi lein dein ge, jahez ki haram rivaayat phir bhi jaari rahein gi, sarak pe safaayi khud nahin rakhein ge, lekin shikaayatein humaisha zubaan pe rahein gi.
Yaar, kabbhi toh apna nafs badlo, kabhi toh apne nafs-o-zubaan ka khayaal rakho, kabhi toh gheebat band karo, lekin nahin. Uss time pe hub-ul-watni nahin yaad aata. Baad mein dimaaghi-sukoon ki baatein kar kar ke kushaada-zehan ban'na hai—"
"—Maine poochha?" He asked and rolled up the window even more, I yelped and pulled my hand back.
I hit the car in pain.
"Meri nahin hai yeh gaari, dour raho."
"Haan obviously, manual hai naa, tumhaari kaise ho sakti hai? Aur tumhain kyaa samajh mein aaye ga yeh sab, tum toh khud iss mulq ko naapasand karte ho, ehsaanfaraamosh!"
— H A M Z A —
"HAMZA," Zain disturbs us with loud knocks on the door.
I kiss her earlobe and pull back.
Falak quickly dresses herself while I zip my pants and walk to the door to open it.
He stands there, looking at me with raged eyes. "The whole office can hear you two. What on earth are you doing in there?"
"She was showing me the budget—"
"—Yea right, the budget." He looks behind me at her disheveled hair.
I chuckle, "I mean,—"
"Hamza," he speaks through a clenched jaw in a low voice, "she could complain to the HR right now—"
"It's consensual, man. Don't worry about it. I'm not that careless."
"Such girls do not hesitate whatsoever when they see more money on the other side. And don't forget how many rivals we have. She could ruin your and this whole company's entire future in seconds."
"She's getting double her pay for doing literally no work in the office, I think it's completely fair."
"Yea, we'll talk about it when bare taaya abbu lays hold of the odd numbers in the account—"
"—I have it all under control with the HR and accounting department. You can leave, now." I slam the door and walk back for another round.
Her silky straight hair slide to one side as I pull her dress down.
She's so yum, I can't get enough of her.
The whole room echoes with her moans and I kiss her jaw before she releases herself again.
Her knuckles go white, sitting on the edge of the desk while her knees go all weak. I press her back against my chest and watch the distress on her face as my hold on her stomach tightens.
I push her waist up against the desk and she takes rapid breaths, unable to contain it anymore. Some painful gasps, no and Sir please please please leave her lips before we both achieve the pleasure we were seeking.
♡♡♡
"Phuppo bas karein, yaar. Har waqt shikaayatein, gheebat, buraaiyan, bas. Kabbhi kuchh masbat nahin sunaa aap se."
She's not the Zaira we bid bye to twelve years ago. That shy girl could never speak in a voice louder than two decibels.
And such words? She could never use any such words with the kids her age, let alone any elder.
"Nahin. Uss din jab maine dada abbu ki favorite anarkali mein se aik pehni tab toh aap ne koyi taareef nahin ki? Harr waqt bas meri buraaiyaan karti hain aap, aur bas karein, koyi fiqr nahin aap ko meri. Sahi kahaa maine, nahin seekhna khaana pakaana, jitna aata hai bohot hai."
"Aata kyaa hai aap ko, bibi?"
She pulls her fingers and counts along, "Andda ghottaala, pancakes, pakore..."
"Bas. Haina? Doosre ghar jaa ke yeh sab banaao gi naa roz?"
"Pehle shaadi toh karwaaein, phir mere type ka huaa toh seekh bhi loon gi uss ke liye, itna bhi koyi masla nahin hai kitchen se."
Bari chaachi pulls her shoe up and she goes next to abbu to disrupt the tense ambience by thrusting in a relaxing song,
"Kaisa hai safar, wafaa ki manzil ka
Naa hai koyi hal, dilon ki mushqil ka
Dhadkan, dhadkan, bikhri ranjishein,
Saansein, saansein, ttootii bandishein,
Kahin toh har lamha honton pe fariyaad hai
Kisi ki duniya chaahat mein barbaad hai,
Ya Rabba de de koyi jaan bhi agar,
Dilbar pe ho na, dilbar pe ho na koyi asar.
Aaj kal ki mausiqi. Abbh yeh bhi aap ko passand naa aaye toh masla aap ka aadam rawadari hai. Badlaaw sehne nahin hota aap se." She forms a moue with her lips and leaves.
Quirky. It's the only word that describes her accurately.
I don't know. She has a superpower for sure. I don't know how she changes the ambience in seconds. It wasn't a calm atmosphere here just seconds ago. There was a slight tension before she sang but then she started and it all faded into calmness.
I really don't understand how she does that.
And taunting abbu? How can anyone do that?
"Pehle hi innhon ne isse bighaara huaa hai, abbh bhai sahab aap bhi aur ddheel de rahe hain. Yahaan isse aur bigaarne nahin, thori aqal sikhaane laaye hain. Aapa aap hi thori sakhti dikhaaein, aap ki toh sunti hai yeh, iss ka kyaa bane ga aage jaa ke?"
— Z A I R A —
"aAaAaAA kabhi khushi kabhi ghum, naa juda haun ge hum, kabhi khushi, kabhi ghum... nana nana nana nanA nana nana nana nanAA, naa naa naa naa naa naa naa na naa... yeh hain tere karam, kabhi khushi kabhi ghum—"
"Shut the fuck up Zaira, maine chhittar lagaane hain abbh tumhain, munh band rakho."
I apologised to Nooreh about the first night here and how I didn't comment but somehow targeted her in front of everyone and then we sat and watched a movie in her room along with Nida.
"Pataa hai, Shahrukh Khan mein kuchh itna khaas hai nahin, sab ko bas iss hi liye passand hai kyun ke uss ke dimples aur smile aur kuchh expressions—" Sahil, Zain and Mr. Tapori intruded in the room like some gali ka gunddas, "hot hain."
"Yeh kyaa movie hai? Kuchh achha lagaao, kyaa harr waqt rona dhona lagaaya hua hota hai?" Sahil tossed the remote to Mr. Tapori.
"Hum toh sab dekhte hain, tumhaara hi focus dimples pe jaata hai." Nida smirked, "Har kisi ke." She held her lower lip up to not burst out laughing and I smacked her calf.
He stopped the movie and both Nida and Nooreh complained before I did. His eyes went all round on the violent expressions suddenly thrown at him and he raised his hands up in the air, then gestured to Zain.
He looked so innocent.
When he's actually not.
But at that moment he did look very innocent and I'd pull his cheeks at how cute he looked.
I ran out while they had fun.
I don't like him. I don't like anyone.
I think I only like Maya and Ayan.
"Ey, tumhaari woh baqwaas favorite movie lagaayi hai, aa jaao." He called me from behind as if we were the main characters of our own Bollywood movie.
I shyly looked through near my shoulder, trying to act soft, "Nahin, tum enjoy karo."
Zaira ki bachi you should've known better, kisi bhi opportunity pe kisi ke bhi saath movie nahin chalaate.
I heard the attention seeking accusing part from his sentence but my mind went to movies that have Atif Aslam's songs.
I turned to him, "Tere naal love ho gaya? Haaye, it's so simple and underrated, I've always—"
"Nahin. Woh..." He looked down, and I wondered if it's making him emotional or awkward, but he closed the door.
Huh, mujhe koyi shauq nahin hai innh karwe logon ke saath movie night karne ka.
Behtar plans... bhi nahin hain waise.
I went back to Nooreh's room and we sat down and watched Hum Saath Saath Hain.
God, the guys really planned it? And how did he nod to the plan? He's too cool for such a tacky movie.
It's the one we all used to copy. We always thought we'd get married to one another and the characters looked so much like our personalities.
Sahil, Nooreh // Vivek, Sadhana
Zain, Nida // Vinod, Sapna
Mr. Tapori, me // Prem, preeti
If they were to represent our personalities now, it'd be a bit different.
Sahil, Nooreh // Vivek, Sadhana
Zain, Nida // Prem, preeti
And us two would have different partners.
He'd probably not have a partner at all.
♡♡♡
"Hainaa? Main bhi yeh bohot sochti hoon. Lekin tumhaara toh Wikipedia pe bhi hai. Balke The Hayats ka bhi hai. Iss ghar ke larkon ka sab se end pe khatam ho ga. Waise yeh pichhle zamaanon mein zyaada achha tha. Sirf bohot zaroori log yaad rakhe jaate the. Abbh toh banda jaisa bhi ho Wikipedia pe aa jaata hai," I teased him.
The movie got paused, I looked up at the people on the bed and Nida was looking at us. "Yeh kyaa dostiyaan chal rahi hain?"
I looked at Mr. Tapori,
"Huh? Nahin hum keh rahe the, kabbhi toh woh waqt aaye ga jab humaara naam iss duniya mein aakhri dafaa liya jaae ga?"
"Kyun? Yahaan kaun si nayi Heer Ranjha ban rahi hai?" Sahil asked and I rolled my eyes.
"*Humaara naam alag alag aakhri dafaa liya jaae ga. Zaira Azhar toh shaayad aage bhi bohot aayein, lekin kabbhi toh iss dunya mein koyi mere baare mein soch ke aakhri dafaa mera naam le ga? Shaayad mere marne ke so saal baad, jab mere sab jaan'ne waale bhi mar jaaein, lekin maine jaan'na hai mere qisse kitni dour jaate hain. Agar meri koyi kahaani generations tak pass ki kisi ne apne ghar mein, toh? Kab tak zinda rahoon gi main auron ke khayaalon mein?"
They all looked at me as if I were a movie and the climax scene were about to come.
"Waise iss ki baatein sunn'ne waali toh hoti hain," Zain pointed out, breaking the silence.
"Lekin Hamza kaise sunn rahaa hai?" Nooreh asked, "Yeh kyaa chal rahaa hai tum dono ka?"
"Joh bhi chal rahaa hai, abbhi band karo, sahi movie dekhne ka mood hai, kharaab nahin karo." Nida resumed it.
I sang along the chorus to Chhotte Chhotte Bhaiyon Ke, and I still remember the steps we used to practice in our childhood.
We had planned on dancing on these '90s Bollywood songs on Sahil and Nooreh's wedding.
Too tired for no reason, I leaned to the person next to me instead of getting up to dance.
I forgot it was Mr. Tapori.
I quickly apologized and rested my head on the edge of the bed.
"Yeh abbhi takk nahin gaye?" he watched the stains of his handprint on my wrists.
I rolled my eyes. Kal meri dhamki se ddarne se pehle ka kuchh yaad hi nahin isse.
By the way, Atif Aslam ki qasam khilaane ki koshish bhi kaise ki iss ne?
I wanted to talk to him about it but Nooreh silenced me before I completed the first word.
I got up and went to my room to get some sleep.
[chalein ttairrhe merhe se raston pe
nange paaon re,
chal, bhattak le na baawre,]