Everything was going well...
Until it wasn't.
Before Tony knows what's happening, he finds himself lying on the floor, the Tesseract far out of his reach. He groans, gently lowering his head to the ground. God, that hurt. The Hulk really packs a wallop, doesn't he?
For a few moments, he just lies there, staring up at the ceiling. He's too old to be doing this shit. He'll be bruised for weeks from this — if he lives that long. With this Hail Mary of an adventure, he can't say that for certain.
There's a light tap on his shin, and he lifts his head to look...
And Loki is staring down at him, Tesseract in hand, with a shit-eating grin on his face that even his muzzle can't hide.
Tony groans. Oh, great. That complicates things. He pushes himself to his feet, and even standing up, he feels like he has to crane his neck to meet Loki's gaze. Why do gods have to be so goddamn tall? As if the guy isn't intimidating enough with the magic glowy cube and the complete disregard for the sanctity of life.
"What?" Tony asks irritably.
Loki just keeps standing there, silent, smirking.
"You wanna give me the cube?" Tony asks.
Loki doesn't react. Tony lunges for the Tesseract, but the god swiftly moves it out of his reach, his chains clinking as they hit against each other.
"Loki, I need that cube," Tony says. "You want it back? I will give it back. But I need the goddamn cube."
Loki just raises an eyebrow.
"So are you gonna give me the Tesseract or do I have to take it?" Tony asks. "'Cause if I have to take it, I'm not giving it back." But if he doesn't have to take it... Well, hey, this isn't his timeline. If promising to give it back to the genocidal maniac here is what it takes to save half of his universe from a different genocidal maniac's bullshit, he'll do what he has to do.
Loki bounces his eyebrows.
Tony reaches over and pulls the muzzle off of Loki's mouth. Let's try this again. "Are you gonna give me the Tesseract or not, Loki?"
"The Tesseract is not leaving my possession," Loki says.
Tony lolls his head back, exasperated. Then what the fuck is he doing here?
"So if you would like the Tesseract, you will have to make room in your party for another member."
Tony guffaws at that. "You're joking."
"No, I am not," Loki says. "I was willing to go along with this pitiful attempt at an arrest because I saw no better option. Now I see two."
Tony crosses his arms. "And those are?"
"The smart choice would be to take my leave now," Loki says. "I have the Tesseract. I could go anywhere, do anything. But I find myself too curious to leave now, so if you would like the Tesseract as badly as it seems you do, I think we would both benefit from this temporary alliance in our own ways."
"Okay, hold on," Tony says. "There is no alliance. You are the last person I would ever ally with."
"Uh, Tony?" Scott's voice rings through his earpiece. "What's going on? Why are we talking to Loki?"
"So be it," Loki says. "I hope the Tesseract was not an integral part of whatever plan you've concocted."
Tony reaches out to grab it, and again, Loki pulls it out of reach.
"I suspect we only have a short while until my brother notices us," Loki says. "You have until then to change your mind, but once I've been spotted, I am leaving, with or without you."
Tony narrows his eyes. He does not want to take Loki with him. They have enough problems as it is without adding the interplanetary terrorist to the list. But they only have the one chance to collect all the Infinity Stones, and he doesn't want to be the one person who couldn't do it. They've come too far to fail now.
Loki's hands swing forward, Tesseract still gripped tightly, and a little speck of something flies past it, landing so hard against the floor by Tony's feet that it leaves a small dent. The small speck begins to grow, and suddenly Scott is standing in its place, back to his ordinary size and staring at Loki incredulously.
"How did you not drop that?" Scott asks.
Loki raises an eyebrow. "Well, this is interesting."
"What's going on?" Scott asks his partner.
Tony taps his earpiece, making sure both Steve and Bruce can hear his answer. "Loki's got the Tesseract. He won't give it up unless he gets to come back with us."
"What?" Scott scoffs. "That's not happening."
Tony just frowns.
Scott hesitates. "That's not happening, is it?"
Tony shakes his head helplessly. He doesn't want it to, but...
"Just take it from him," Steve says. "We don't have time for this."
"Oh, that easy, is it?" Tony says sarcastically.
"We need that Tesseract, Tony," Steve says firmly.
"No shit, Sherlock," Tony says, "but what are we willing to do to get it?"
Loki just smiles.
Thor's voice grabs their attention immediately. "Where's the Tesseract?"
"Last chance," Loki says.
Tony hesitates. They really can't...
"Loki!" Thor yells, and then he catches sight of his brother, and it's now or never.
Tony grimaces. As much as he hates Loki, he hates Thanos more. If they can get all six Infinity Stones, there's no damage Loki could wreck that would be worse than what Thanos has already brought.
"Fine," Tony hisses. "Just get us the hell out of here."
Scott scoffs. "Tony —"
A wave of blue smoke overtakes them, and suddenly, they're gone. They reappear outside of Stark Tower, a surprisingly calm spot in the midst of the chaos throughout the city. Loki stands before them, his smirk never wavering, and Tony has to fight the urge to smack him for it.
"So," Loki says, "where are we going?"
Tony hesitates. "It's... hard to explain," he says. "Tell you what." He holds out a hand. "You give me the Tesseract, I'll take you to where we're supposed to meet up."
"Stark..." Scott says quietly, a warning of sorts.
Loki chuckles dryly. "Do you think me an idiot?"
"Yeah, kinda," Tony says. "Why do you ask?"
"I am not giving you the Tesseract," Loki says. "Not here." He holds it up, then closes his palm, and the Tesseract disappears into nothingness. "Now. Where are we going?"
Tony's eyes go wide. "Loki!"
"Where'd it go?" Scott asks quickly.
"It's safe," Loki says. "The only one who can take it now is myself. Just in case I had not yet made my rules clear."
Tony groans. Great. So this is it, then. There's no other way to go about this. Loki and the Tesseract are a package deal. And, as much as he hates to admit it, the potential benefits outweigh the potential risks.
"Look," Tony says finally, "we can't take you with us without a special suit, and we don't have a spare." He activates his time suit to show the god what he means. "But we really need that Tesseract."
Loki seems unphased by that. "I think we can make that work."
Before Tony can ask what he means, Loki vanishes in a flash of green light, and in his place, a fly appears. The chains that had been holding his wrists fall to the ground with a clammer. The fly flutters in front of his face, hovering at eye level.
"Is that..." Scott cocks his head to the side, squinting.
"Loki?" Tony says cautiously.
"There should be more than enough room for the both of us," Loki's voice says.
Tony flinches, startled, but Scott literally jumps, stumbling backward and nearly falling on his ass until Tony grabs his arm, anchoring him here.
"Holy shit," Scott whispers. "The fly can talk."
Tony just rolls his eyes. His helmet disappears, and the fly lands on his head. He does his best to ignore how wildly uncomfortable that is, and he presses a finger against the earpiece. "Alright, I'm about to do something very stupid. You think you can handle getting the scepter, or should I send the munchkin to help?"
"I can get the scepter," Steve says. "But what are you doing?"
"You'll find out as soon as you get the scepter," Tony tells him. As an afterthought, he adds, "And please don't kill me. There was no way out of it."
"What?" Steve sounds much more worried now. "Tony, what are you doing?"
Tony's helmet envelopes his head, taking Loki along with it. "You ready?"
Scott gives a single nod, and his helmet comes up, too.
"Then we should go," Loki says. "My brother will find us soon enough, and he will not take kindly to my leaving again."
"Yeah, yeah." Tony rolls his eyes. "Hold on tight. We're going quantum."
He hits the button on his wrist, and then they're gone.