𝓯𝓲𝓷𝓭𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓞𝓾𝓻 𝓦𝓪𝔂 𝓗𝓸𝓶𝓮

𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖙𝔴𝔢𝔩𝔢𝔳

I open my eyes to meet my dark room my head is pounding.

I got up from the floor .I stood up and stop when I felt pain shoot up my body.

Taking a few breaths I manage to get up ,I limp towards my table and took my phone and limp towards the door.took a while but I manage to open it.

The hallway was dark ,I looked at the time to see its already past midnight.

How long was i out.

I made my way down stairs to get some pain killlers I walked Into the kitchen to see the lights on.

I peek to see Nathaniel sitting at the table with charcoal, pencils all around him and a mug of double mocha coffee.

My favorite

I got out of my hiding place and walked I  he didn't hear me since I was not wearing any shoes.

" what are you doing g up at this hour " I asked him. His hands went to his pockets but pull away when he realised that's its me.

" non of your business"  he said rudely.

I rolled my eyes and went to the cabin trying to reach it. After a while I give up and took a spiny  high chair.

I heard footsteps coming in our direction

" the fuck you are doing "alexsandro said confused as he walked In the room.

" non of your business" I replied

I got on it and got the medication.i sight I  victory,but due to having one brain cell ,I forgot that I am on a spiny chair and that I could fall and die.

Who would care

The chair spined and I lost my balance ,I closed Mt eyes ready to hit the floor.but I never did.

I opened my eyes to see alexsandro holding me ,when he realised what he did he let go of me.

" careful we don't want mom  and dad getting more mad at you for almost dying" he said as he went back up stairs.

I took my meds and walked to the table to what was Nathaniel doing.

He was drawing I like drawing too but am not that proficient ,but his drawing looked real.

A couple and seven sons were standing infront of a what looked like a hospital and the women was carrying a  baby in the hand.

" our life should have been like this ........just our parents and us .......you shouldn't even been born"he said in an angry voice.

" it would have been best wouldn't it"i said and replied with a short yeah.

With that I went to my room  I changed into some more comfortable clothes and tried getting  some sleep. Keyword try.

☾︎Insert song ☽︎

I went in my bed and lay there staring at the ceiling

" careful we don't want mom  and dad getting more mad at you for almost dying"

Will they really care ,what if I really died would he care.would anyone care.

" our life should have been like this ........just our parents and us .......you shouldn't even been born"

Maybe its true ,maybe they never loved me,maybe it was all an act,

Stop pretending lessa,you are not like this so stop pretending as if you are broken and hurt .so what if you draw a painful drawing, that doesn't mean you should go around and show it off

The reason I showed her my drawings was because I thought that I could trust her.

Even when everyone looks like they are pretending.but I didn't doubt her.

And yet she come and say that I am pretending ,that am showing it off

Is that the meaning of a true best friend or did she fake that as well just like everybody In my life.

By now I full so ungrateful and I had to put a hand over my mouth to stop ,so that no one hear me

⚠️

I got up and made my way to my castle ,I took the blade and did 5 more cut.

Did you think that I would love you ....hahaha idiot your not even beautiful, maybe  you should try losing some weight

And 3 more cuts

⚠️🚫

I cleaned it up and went back to my bed,
I want to let go ,to leave and never come back,
But whole life I wished I had an elder sibling,one that I could look up to ,one that hug we when I feel sad ,

Now I have eight of them and yet I don't feel better.

Am tired not physically but emotionally.as if I want to sleep and never wake up.

I need comfort.i got up again and this time I took my white Teddy.i never knew where I got it from but it always made me feel safe.

I turn it and put my hand in the opening and took out my drawing papers and drew a girl from the back and I took my pen and started writing how I feel.

Alexsandro pov

I woke up to the sound of door opening. Am a very light sleeper. Still who the fuck will be up at this time.

Lucien ,mateo and sebastien are working ,Nathaniel is probably sleeping so that he doesn't kill anyone, the twins  are out ,enzo is in his room with music blasting in his ears am surprise that his eardrums are not bamamge yet, and lessa I, mean alexsandra is knock out in her room.

I peel out the door to see who is there but I only saw a shadow going down the stairs.

The hallway was dark half way on the staircase I realised that my phone is upstairs, I went and took it

I ,ade my way In the kitchen saw Nathaniel drawing with charcoal and pencils around him.

I look next to him to see  lessa I mean alexsandra on one of the spiny chairs looking for something in the cupboard.

" the fuck you are doing "i said confused as i walked In the room.

" non of your business" I replied

Your my twin how the fuck its not my business I wanted to say

Wait what.why the fuck did I want to say that.i do t care about her

I look to see her on a  chair spined andtheperfect idea came to my mind

I walked behind d her and Nathaniel look up to what evil I was up to

Don't do it she s your twin
You care for her
You love her

Ignoring those voices, I gently grad the chair and spin it ,she lost her balance and was about to fall.

I felt some sort of I do t know a feeling

Automatically my hands wrap around her waist not let her fall.she opened her eyes to look at me.

That's when I realise what I did .why am I helping  her ,she should have fallen and broke her neck or broke her head and died.

I let her go as she almost fall down

I look at Nathaniel to see him already looking at me with confusion in his eyes.

" careful we don't want mom  and dad getting more mad at you for almost dying" isaid as i walked out of the kitchen

I went o my room and got I bed .as I was almost asleep I heard a door room close.

Must be alexsandra. Something told me to go and see what she's doing I got up and went to her door and put my ear to hear what's going on.

I heard some muffled sob after a while it stoped

The bitch is sad good that means she s feeling pain.she deserves it......right.

She did leave me .

I shake my head and went back to my room.and doze off.