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ㅤㅤHer peaceful sleep were interrupted by the sudden suffocating feelings from her lungs that feels stuck and tight.
She try to open her eyes, but she can't. Her eyelid feels so heavy - She feels so anxious, scared and panicked. She try to control her breathing, to make it breathe in a normal pace but it was no used.
Her chest feels tight, her lungs feels stuck.
She didn't want to die yet that she pray and pray for miracle to happen. But, she feels so paralysed that she can't even move to scream for help.
She's stuck with no one want to save her,
Stuck on the hospital bed.
With her life on a thin line.
Then, her breathing stop. Making the heart monitor graph beside her turn into a thin line, making a such a long beep sound.
Doctor and nurses run to her room as soon as they heard the sound. All panicked, but still do their job professionally.
Haneul hate herself, she hate the fact that her body give up on her, she hate that she can't help herself. Not matter how hard she try to wake up, her body feels so tired.
Her body doesn't want to cooperate anymore.
But miracle happens.
She wake up.
She look around the room in confusion as she saw the doctor and nurses in her room - until it hit her, that she was connected to a 'oxygen machine' , and more iv drip and spare blood bags on her arm .
It happened again
She thought, and sighed.
Haneul have been through a lots of treatments, its been 6 years since her parents want to hospitalised her. But yet she never seen any progress of her curing.
Day by day, she feels like her body slowly wanting to give up. But she decides think positively, because she knew what will happened.
She didn't want to think lots about it yet and never want at all , because there's still a lots of things she want to do.
Week by week, she had to go to run a blood test - but she wondered what will they do with her blood? To examine it. But for what? They say 'to find a cure' but they've been doing it, for years.
And she see nothing, she doesn't feel like curing at all. She doesn't feel like healing at all. She doesn't feel healthy nor good.
She's hurt and tired. Thats what she feels towards the six years of treatment. No progressing on getting cure.
“Haneul, have you taken your medicine before you sleep last night? Your blood drop too low right now” Dr Kang said worriedly.
“I forgot..” Haneul mumbled softly..
“You're nearly meet the heaven Haneul! You should have never skip your medication”
“Im sorry doctor Kang... But i r-really forgotten about it...” Haneul said and Seulgi sighed.
“Please do not forget to take your medicine again, understand?”
“understand doctor..”
“Now dont walk around today, just stay in your bed and rest. I will come and check up on you 3 times today, as a reminder to take your medication. Sounds okay?” Seulgi asked and Haneul nodded, showing up a thumbs up.
As Seulgi left, Haneul sit up on her bed and look outside the window. The weather is so nice outside, the sky is coloured with soft blue, and was dotted with fluffy clouds.
Birds are flying around, freeing their wings, flying up high - while the trees are moving slowly yet so calm as the wind brush to it.
“Its so nice outside , i bet my death will be so beautiful.. if i didn't survive today..” Haneul muttered on her breath.
She feel blue.
But yet she still manage to smile.
“I will cure”
“I will be healthy”
“Im gonna get cure and be healthy, for once”
“even if its just one day.. i wanna feel how its like to be cure - just once.. in my lifetime, i want to be cure”
“but i know its not possible for me to get cure..”
“but its also not wrong for me to put high hopes to it.. I believe in miracles.. I believe i can run freely one day without feeling the tight in my chest, without feeling suffocating.. Without feeling hard to breath”
“And without the spare blood bags and iv drip attach to me, without needing to bring the pole stand with me.. i promise i will run freely one day”
“I will get cure”
“I will..”
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Sorry if its boring you!! I will try writing the best and fix the mistakes for you all >_< Thank you for reading ~
Have a nice day everybody !!
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