TW in the description
Thank you to hobbicatto (Allen) for the art!
Giulia POV
Mattias started to avoid Giulia at every turn. Their usual friendly banter was all but gone. He did his best to avoid being alone with her, always claiming to have work to do.
And Giulia was at her breaking point.
She wasn't sad (well, maybe a little); she was angry. Furious. Giulia knew that Mattias had feelings for her. Otherwise, why would he try to separate himself so hard? He was hiding something. And that something was preventing him from accepting his feelings.
Giulia couldn't imagine what that something was, but she was going to find out. And... after everything was out in the open, if he still turned her away, she would drop it. She would accept that she was wrong, and he didn't have feelings for her.
One day when Mattias left the house to visit the local hospital, Giulia snuck into his room. This house was his childhood home. Surely there would be some kind of memorabilia—something to give her insight into Mattias's past.
She quietly snuck into his bedroom, closing the door softly behind her. She knew if her brothers caught her, they would only make things worse.
She began searching through his desk drawer. Everything was neat and in its rightful place.
"A neat freak, good to know." She mumbled to herself and kept going.
She opened his dresser, picking through the perfectly folded clothes. She looked under the bed, in the nightstand, and finally began tearing through the closet.
Giulia was very aware that she was snooping. That this was a severe invasion of Mattias's privacy. But she didn't care. There was a weight Mattias was carrying. And it was smothering his ability to be happy. She would do whatever she could to take that weight off him, even if it upset him.
"Ouch!" She pulled back as she poked herself on a set of cleats in the closet. They looked used.
"I wonder what sport he played." She thought but kept going.
After searching the pockets of five different jackets, she was ready to give up. Then her eyes wandered upward to a box on the highest shelf. She got on her tiptoes but was still half an arm's length from reaching it. Looking around, and grabbed the chair from his desk and rolled it into the closet, the wheels squeaking slightly. Carefully she climbed onto it, balancing. Her arms reached up, gripping the edges of the box. She barely lifted it from its perch when the wheels of the chair suddenly rolled.
"Aah!" Giulia screamed as the chair came out from under her. She hit the hardwood floor with a SMACK. The box hit the floor, its contents spilling everywhere.
"Accidenti!" Giulia cursed through clenched teeth. She would have a bruised hip.
She paused, hoping nobody had heard. After waiting a few moments, she began gathering the contents of the box and putting them back.
Inside she found documents, pictures, and trinkets.
She picked up the newest-looking document and read. It was Mattias's license to work on Sea Monster patients. She found a birth certificate, his undergrad and doctorate degrees, and.... A marriage certificate.
Giulia's hand shook as she lifted the yellowing paper. As she held it, several more forms fell—wedding invitations.
Please come Celebrate the Marriage of
Mattias Levici Romano + Elizabetta Sophia Lastra
It was dated nine years ago.
Ice coursed through Giulia's veins. This couldn't be real. She dug further and found wedding photos. Mattias was in his early twenties but pretty much looked the same. His smile was enough to knock the breath from Giulia's lungs. She had never seen that kind of smile on him before. He was in absolute bliss, total and complete happiness. And she quickly found out why.
His arms were wrapped around a stunning blonde woman. She was the same age as him, her long blonde hair falling almost to her waist. Her dress wrapped gracefully around her small figure.
Elizabetta.
More photo's spilled out on the floor. Photo's of the reception. Mattias dancing with his bride. Then the two of them on their honeymoon in front of the Eifel tower. A picture of their first house. A picture of them getting a puppy together.
Giulia didn't know how much more she could take. Had he been lying to her all this time? Was he a married man?
Then a tiny velvet black pouch caught her eye. It had rolled under the shoe rack. She reached for it. It was stiff from age, but she was able to untie the delicate ropes holding it closed. There was a slight clink of metal as two rings hit her palm.
One a silver man's wedding band and the other a stunning white gold ring with a large diamond in the center. The stone was dull from age and lack of maintenance, but still... Giulia knew this was an incredible ring.
"I can't do this." She said, shoving the contents back in the box.
As she hurriedly shoved the memories in the box, a small half piece of paper slipped from between a few of the photographs. It was a newspaper tear-out. She almost shoved it away when a picture caught her eye.
It was Elizabetta, the black and white photo not doing justice to her beauty.
We gather to celebrate the life of
Elizabetta Sophia Romano
There were two dates below the obituary page—date of birth and date of passing.
"Did you find what you were looking for?"
Giulia jumped so bad she crumped the old newspaper in her hand.
(Credit to: hobbicatto (Allen) on Instagram)
"Mattias!" She breathed out, trying to flatten the paper. He slowly walked up to her and gently took the newspaper clipping from her hand, returned it to the box, and set it back on the highest shelf.
"I was..." Giulia had no excuse for what she was doing.
"Trying to figure out why I turned you down?" He said, and his words sent shivers up her spine. They were so empty, emotionless. Like he was speaking from a void inside himself.
She didn't like it. Giulia wished he would yell. Shout. Anything was better than this broken emptiness she was witnessing.
"Mattias, I am so sorry. I had no idea."
"Now you do." He turned away as though to leave.
"Wait!" She called.
He froze, his back stiff.
"What happened? What happened to her?"
Giulia needed to know. To understand.
"She died three years after we got married." His voice was unreachable.
Giulia watched him as he stood, perfectly still. His eyes were distant, lost in the despair of his past.
"She died of cancer. Pancreatic. It... it was my fault." He choked at the words, covering his mouth with a hand.
Giulia stepped forward to comfort him, but he shot out a hand, warning her to keep a distance.
"Mattias... I'm sure it wasn't your fault-"
"IT WAS DAMN IT!" His shoulders were shaking. "I should have seen the signs! I'm a doctor, for fucks sake! I wasn't home. I was working... always working. I didn't notice. Overlooked her suffering."
Giulia was frozen as though nailed to the floor. He was falling apart in front of her... if someone didn't catch him...
"She died because I wasn't paying attention! If we had caught it earlier, she might have survived. But by the time I noticed anything...,"
His eyes were wide, tortured.
"IT WAS TOO LATE!"
He yelled. It was a strangled cry so full of hate and hurt. It burst out of him, and he threw his arms across the desk, knocking its contents all over the floor. The lamp shattered, papers flew, ink spilled.
He was falling...
"STOP IT!" Giulia screamed, throwing her arms around Mattias's back, locking his arms to his side. She buried her face in his back, feeling the restriction in his breath.
"It wasn't your fault!" Tears poured down her cheeks.
This was it. The reason he couldn't find happiness. And it was killing him. Eating away at his insides. Like a parasite that would never be satisfied.
"She was sick, Mattias. It wasn't your fault."
"You... you don't know what you're talking about." He choked out.
"Mattias... she was so happy with you. The woman I saw in those photographs loved you! And her heart would rip from her chest if she saw how you blamed yourself."
He went silent.
"She loved you, Mattias. And she cherished every moment you two shared."
"How do you know that?" He whispered.
Giulia let him go, walking to face him. He was paler than she had ever seen, and at that moment - he looked like a child.
"Because that's how I would feel!" Giulia cried. "Don't dishonor her memory by hurting yourself. Don't tarnish the times you had with her by throwing your life away! She wouldn't want that!"
His eyes went wide.
"Giulia... how could you know that?"
"I know it." She said firmly.
He hung his head low. Giulia watched as he took a deep breath, filling his lungs, then letting it out slowly. Letting the air go - along with the pain.
"I'm sorry." He whispered.
"She wanted you to be happy," Giulia said. "And I want that too."
"I..." He started.
"And I don't give a damn if you choose me. I just want to see you start living, Mattias. And living for yourself, not just others."
"Giulia I - "
"It doesn't matter who you find it with. Just let yourself find it." Giulia kept rambling.
"Giulia!" Mattias said louder.
She stopped.
He took two steps forward and threw his arms around her, one arm pulling her back and the other resting on her red hair.
"Thank you, Giulia... thank you for saying those things. I think... I've been waiting to hear them for a long time."
She hugged him back, holding him.
Mattias was good. Good to the core.
He deserved everything.
~.~.~.~.~.~
Mattias asked to be alone after that.
Giulia nodded, and as she walked away, he gently grabbed her arm.
"Don't go far." He said, his brown eyes locking on her hazel ones.
She left the room and walked to the pool house.
Giulia was shaken. Shaken by what she saw, what she heard... but more than anything - she was shocked by what she said.
She had spoken for Mattias's late wife. She had spoken on Elizabetta's behalf. But if Elizabetta loved that man as much as she did, Giulia knew she said the right thing.
Elizabetta would have wanted Mattias to live - not live as a sacrifice. Not continue day by day blaming himself.
Giulia walked to the pool house, a wave a humid air hitting her as she entered. The splashing of the waterfall and the steady humming of the wave machine greeted her ears. Her bare feet made loud echoes as she walked on the tile.
Luca and Alberto were by the water's edge. Luca must have just got out of the water because he was in his Sireno form, his legs and tail dangling into the water as he sat on the edge. Alberto sat beside Luca, his human feet dangling in the water - the change gone from his body. They were talking, their voices echoing slightly in the room. Luca laughed at something Alberto said then caught sight of Giulia.
"Oh, hey Giulia! We were just - " But he trailed off at the look on her face.
Alberto went serious at once, taking his feet from the water and walking over to her, his face worried.
"What is wrong?" He said, placing a hand on her shoulder. She looked into his green eyes. Her brother's eyes.
And all at once, the emotions in her chest spilled over. She cried into her hands, covering her face. She felt her brother's arms wrap around her.
Her tears were for Mattias. His loss, his pain, and the fact that he went through it all alone. He didn't have a family to hold him while he was broken. She cried into Alberto's chest, feeling his muscled arms holding her, rubbing her back.
"Easy, easy." He said, rubbing her back. "Breath. Deep breaths. It's gonna be ok."
Alberto let her cry. She heard footsteps approach and knew Luca was close beside her. Then another set of arms joined them.
"We are here for you, Giulia," Luca said. "We will always be here for you. You know we love you... right?" He said.
"I... I l-love you two." She sobbed as they held her.
They stood like that. The three of them holding tightly onto each other.
Giulia and her two brothers.
~.~.~.~.~
Giulia joined them at the edge of the pool, dangling her feet in the water.
The warm water on her bare feet helped to calm her down.
"What happened?" Alberto asked, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"It's just... Mattias."
"He didn't touch you, did he!?" Alberto said, already standing, ready to fight.
"NO!" She yelled, then laughed at his readiness to beat somebody up for her. "No, no calmati, Alberto."
"Then what was it?" Luca asked in a gentler voice. He had dried off and was sitting in his human form. But his feet were green and webbed as they danced in the water beside them.
Giulia broke into the story. They would find out anyway, and she figured she would save Mattias the pain of having to explain it all. She told them about what she discovered. About his late wife, about his pain. Then... she told them how she felt. She told her brothers how much she was in love with the doctor.
She waited after this, expecting Alberto to tease her, or at the very least, express his displeasure. But he was silent, thoughtfully twirling the water with his feet.
"Do you really love him that much?" He finally asked.
"I do." She said.
He sighed.
"Ok."
"Ok, what?" She said.
"I'll accept that." He said.
"I wasn't asking your permission," Giulia said a little hotly.
"I know you weren't. You never do. Just promise... just please take it slow... ok?" He said with such an uncomfortable face that she laughed.
She laughed and laughed. Even Luca joined in.
"What?" Alberto said, irritated.
"Nothing," Giulia said with a wave of her hand.
She brought her foot down hard in the water, making it splash.
"You know, I never got a chance to try this out."
And without warning, she stood up and took a few paces back. Luca and Alberto looked over their shoulders, confused.
"Cannon Ball!!!" She yelled, and the pair had barely enough time to scramble out of the way when she ran for the edge - and jumped.
Mattias POV
As soon as Giulia left the room, Mattias leaned back; his face turned up the ceiling. He took one-two calming breaths, forcing the oxygen to rush to his brain. He counted his pulse, something he did out of habit; felt the rise and fall of his chest, focusing on all the functions of his body, centering himself.
Giulia...
"That woman... is incredible." He breathed out.
The words she gave him, it was like a key to a chain he had placed around his neck. Words he never thought anyone would ever offer him—words he needed to hear.
Mattias stood, his posture steady. He went back to the closet and took the box from its shelf. He opened it. It had been years since he looked at these images. He pulled a picture of Elizabetta on their wedding day.
"I miss you more than words can say," Mattias said to her bright smile. "I think about you every day. And I will always love you."
He took a shaky breath. His heart quivered.
"These six years without you have been... the hardest of my life."
He flipped to the following picture. It was one of him and her on the dance floor. The smile on his face - he didn't know he could make such a smile.
"But I have to let you go."
Mattias blinked rapidly, forcing the emotion away from his eyes.
"I hope, wherever you are, you are happy. Safe. Healthy. But it's time for me to continue on. I hope that... you are ok with that. I love you."
He was about to place the lid on the box for the last time when he noticed the base of the cardboard. It was coming loose, probably from being dropped. He sighed and lifted the hidden piece of cardboard on the bottom—a hidden compartment.
There was a single photo.
He held it up, admiring it for the last time - imprinting it to his memory.
"This is who you truly were. And I'm going to create a world where nobody will have to hide that ever again."
He left the image at the top of the pile, knowing that he would never again open this box.
The image was a sunset, its golden rays bouncing off the ocean waves in an elegant dance. And there, standing on the beach, red scales reflecting like rubies in the setting light, was a Sirena. She was a living gemstone, dazzling, a white beach dress covering her slender frame. Her long delicate tail dragging in the sand behind her. She was smiling at the person holding her camera, and it was even more dazzling than the setting star behind her.
"Rest well, darling."
Then Mattias turned off the light and closed the closet - leaving behind the memories of his past.
(This image is exclusively on my Patreon! Go check it out!)
Authors Note:
Chapter 16 will be a Patreon exclusive chapter - so look our for Chapter 17 on Wednesday! Do not worry, I have double and triplle checked to make sure that the events in 16 do not impact the story and that there is a smooth transition from 15 to 17. Chapter 16 is simply a "bonus" chapter with no story impact.