T r e e b r o s a n g s t
It was the end of school and Evan was in the computer room. Writing his therapy letter. He had decided to delete the letter from that morning and just start fresh.
Dear Evan Hansen, turns out this isn't going to be an amazing day, or week, or year because why would it be?
I wish everything was different. I wish I was a part of something. I wish Jared would sign my fucking cast already-
Maybe Evan shouldn't include that part...he quickly backspaced. He was still pissed Jared forgot to sign his cast during lunch though. He continued the letter.
I wish anything I said mattered to anyone. I mean face it, other than my mom and insanely cool boyfriend, would anybody notice if i disappeared tomorrow? But then there's Connor, and all my hope is pinned on Connor. Who I don't even know, and who doesn't know me. I wish I had the guts to just talk to him.
Sincerely, your best and more dearest friend,
Me.
Evan scanned over the letter before deciding it was good enough and clicked print. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Connor walk into the computer room. Why Connor walked into the room was a mystery to Evan. Still, Evan tensed his shoulders trying to make himself seem small.
"Sup Hansen." Connor said, getting on top of one of the desks
"Oh, um h-hi Connor..."
"Nobody's signed your cast yet."
"Oh, yea no, Jared's gonna um, sign it after schoo-"
"Can I sign it?"
"oh, uh yea sure."
Evan held out his arm, and Connor grabbed it firmly. Evan winced at the slight pain, Connor noticed it and loosened his grip.
"Do you have a sharpie?"
"Yea, here you go." Evan said, grabbing a sharpie out of his backpack and handing it to Connor.
Connor took the cap off the sharpie using his mouth and signed Evan's cast. Making his signature as large as possible, simply so Evan wouldn't have to look down at an empty cast and be reminded of how lonely he is.
Connor finished signing the cast. He put the cap back on the sharpie and handed it back to the blonde in front of him. Hoping he would see this was Connor's attempt at apologizing for shoving him earlier.
"There you go, now we can both pretend we have friends."
Evan was about to say something like, 'we don't have to pretend.' but Connor was already walking out the door. Though Connor didn't make it all the way out, he stopped at the printer. Evan's face paled as Connor picked up the paper.
"Hey this is yours right? Dear Evan hansen?"
"Oh, umyea, that, that's mine! It was an assignment for, for school." Evan replied, hoping Connor would just give it to him.
Connor was about to do that, but Evan saw his eyes briefly scan the paper before his expression turned to something which can only be described as disgust.
"Because there's Connor,, and all my hope is pinned on Connor?"
"Oh i-"
"What the fuck Hansen. You wrote this just to freak me out didn't you?"
"N-no, thats not-"
"Yeah, you saw me walk in and so you wrote this so I would freak out."
"Fuck you Hansen." Connor said, walking out of the computer room. Leaving Evan by himself.
Connor immediately regretted being so harsh to Evan. It was hard enough for him to go to Evan to 'apologize' for shoving him in the hallway earlier. He didn't want to have to do it again.
Damn it, why couldn't he have a normal conversation with Evan? With the boy of his dreams? Why was he such a fuck up? And why did that part of Evan's letter almost sound like a love confession? Was there a chance Evan liked him back?? Probably not. Evan has no reason to like Connor.
Connor looked back briefly to look at Evan, he immediately wished he hadn't. The boy looked even worse than when Connor had shoved him. Connor faced forward again and walked out to his car.
It wasn't until Connor reached his car that he realized he still had Evans' note. Connor sighed, but he was too tired, physically and emotionally, to give it back. He shoved the note in his pocket and started up his car.
~🌲~
Evan watched Connor leave the computer room, his note in hand. Evan would've gotten up to take his note back, but he was far too distracted by the red string that lay on the school floor.
A red string that Evan almost lost track of due to the crowd of students in the hallway. But there was no doubt that the string connected to Connors hand.
"Holy shit," Evan muttered under his breath.
He wasn't quite sure what to do with this information. Last time Evan checked, there weren't any hand books on, 'what to do if you find out the hot school edgelord is your soulmate'.
Evan wanted to chase after Connor, before remembering that Connor literally just cursed him out. So he just remained still, his brain still trying to wrap around the fact that the Connor Murphy was his soulmate.
It felt weird thinking about it like that. Connor Murphy was his soulmate. If things went as the universe planned, Connor and Evan would end up in a romantic relationship.
A romantic relationship, him and Connor...the thought made Evan blush. Obvioulsy Jared would be there too. But Evan already knows he loves Jared. Did he love Connor though? Or at least have a crush on Connor? Did he want to? All questions Evan was unsure of.
Evan sighed and looked up just in time to see Connor glance back at him. For a second Evan thought Connor might see the red string too, which terrified him a little. Those thoughts went away as Connor continued walking forward.
What the fuck was he supposed to do now. Get a ride back home with Jared probably, but should Evan tell Jared about Connor? Probably. But Evan was too fucking socially awkward and had no idea how he would handle the situation.
Evan pulled out his phone, telling Jared that he was ready to go home.
3:29 pm
Evan <3: I'm ready to go.
3:29 pm
Jared <3: aight,
Jared <3: meet me outside at my car
3:30 pm
Evan <3: Okie, see you then!
Evan <3: Love you <3
3:30 pm
Jared <3: love you too <3
Evan smiled before pocketing his phone and walking out of the computer room. He walked through the halls to the front of the school, passing by Connor for a brief second on his way out.
The two made eye contact for a split second, before they turned away quickly. Both with different reasons.
Evan did eventually make it to Jared's car. His mind was still racing, thinking about Connor. Connor was pretty fucking attractive. Evan could at least admit to that. Connor also saved Evan in the forest, well not really saved. He at least helped Evan though. That was pretty nice of him.
Evan smiled fondly at the memory of Connor helping him up, and them walking together. Connors arm around his waist, his arm around Connor's shoulde- oh shit.
Evan's face felt hot. He tried to ignore the thoughts of Connor but it didn't work.
"Cod damn it. Why is Connor so hottt?" he said under his breath.
"Did you say something acorn?"
"Wha- what?" Evan was shaken out of his daze by Jared's voice, "oh uh, no. also, acorn?"
Jared shrugged, "eh, felt like trying something new."
"Hm, well, well i quite like it. So, um use it, if you, if you want."
"Alright, I will Acorn." Jared placed a quick kiss to Evan's cheek. "Now c'mon and get in the car."
Evan blushed and got into the passenger seat
"You want to come to my house, or should I just drop you off at home?"
"If you could drop me off at, at um the orchard, that'd be great."
"Alrighty." Jared said, nodding. He was used to dropping off Evan at the Orchard when he was stressed. And considering it was the first day, it made sense.
Jared left the school parking lot and started driving to the orchard, knowing the route by memory. The ride was mainly silent, that is until Jared spoke up.
"Ohmygosh dude, you'll never guess who i got partnered with in biology."
"Hmm?"
"Connor. Murphy."
"Holy shit. Waitwait, seriously?!"
"Yea, I know right! We watched mlp in class lol"
Evan laughed, "That's amazing."
Jared continued to tell Evan about Connor until they eventually reached the Orchard.
"Alright, be safe, make sure to call me if you need a ride back."
"I will."
"Ok bye, I love you."
"Love you too." Evan said, placing a quick kiss to Jared's lips before exiting the car.
"Bye Acorn!! See you soonnnnnnn" Jared said, driving away. Leaving Evan alone and surrounded by trees.
~🌲~
Connor was stressed. That was putting it lightly. He yet again failed at befriending Evan. Him and Jared are science partners. Jared, who is apparently one of Connor's soulmates.
Who wouldn't be stressed.
Whenever Connor gets stressed, he goes to the Orchard to get high as fuck. And thats what he was doing right now.
Connor jumped the fence to the Orchard and began walking around. Looking for a good place to get high. The trees and scent of apples were really relaxing, and Connor allowed himself to visit his thoughts.
For some reason, he thought of Jared. Was it because he was crushing on Jared? Probably. Was Connor willing to accept that? Maybe. Only because if things didn't work out with Evan, he'd have a backup crush.
Plus Jareds his soulmate so, if things didn't work out with Evan, Connor was pretty much set.
Smiling at the thought, Connor returned his focus to looking for a place to get high.
Sadly, he didn't find a good place to get high, instead he found an all to familiar head of Blonde hair.
He stared at the other boy, unsure if he should approach him or not. Then he remembered how his other experiences with the boy went and decided against it.
Connor wanted to walk away, go back to his car, but his body wouldn't move. No, he just stayed there staring at Evan Hansen.
It didn't take Evan too long to notice Connor. Soon enough, Evan was staring as well.
The two of them were a few yards away from each other. The Orchard was quiet, except for the faint songs of birds in the background and for a moment, both boys felt at peace.
That peace was soon broken by Connor suddenly realizing that they were just staring at each other, not saying anything. He suddenly felt uncomfortable in the situation, and dashed away from it. Leaving Evan staring in confusion at where the taller teen once was.
As Connor decided he was far enough away from Evan, he slowed down. There was one thing on his mind.
He needed to befriend Evan.
But he was too much of a screw-up to even hold a conversation with the boy. So how was he supposed to befriend him??
Then Connor had a fantastic idea.
He'd email Evan.
Word count: 1,882
So yea.... The next chapter is just Sincerely Me. because that's my favorite song in the soundtrack and I want to make a chapter about it lol
Also, I had to delete a scene where Connor and Evan became besties in this chapter because it wouldn't work with the plot. But if yall want me to post it lemme know, cause its actually pretty cute and i was really sad when i realized i couldn't include it. (like its really cute.)