Word Count: 3377
Scarlett's POV
After lunch, I led Alexis upstairs to put Rose down. She was really interested in helping with Rose and I found it adorable. Unfortunately, Alexis still didn't really eat lunch so I was a bit concerned. Okay, a lot concerned. Her behavior seems to be all over the place and no one seems to know what to do. I don't think she even knows.
"Wow, this is her room?" Alexis blurted out as I opened the door to Rose's nursery.
"Yeah, what do you think?" I asked carrying Rose over to the changing table.
"It's cute, I like the colors," Alexis commented.
"She does too," I laughed at her wide eyes as she looked around.
"Ya know, I saw my old nursery in some pictures it never looked like this. I mean I guess my mom and I shared a room, so there wasn't really a choice," Alexis told me in a hushed tone as I began changing Rose for nap time.
"Did you always share a room with your mom?" I asked her not knowing where this conversation was going.
"Most of the time, I think. I mean I'm not sure I just know this from pictures," Alexis explained to me as she sat down in the rocking chair in the corner of the room.
"Hmm," I responded not really sure if she was gonna continue or not.
"And with Lizzie, well I didn't like sleeping alone, plus I don't think we had the room," Alexis continued as I looked over to see her face fall a little before it returned to a blank gaze.
"When you lived here?" I asked trying to steer the conversation, as I threw away a dirty diaper.
"Yeah, we lived in a really tiny place but it was okay. I didn't like sleeping alone, I always wanted to sleep in her bed with her," Alexis explained in a monotone voice. It was like she has become immune to the pain because she'd thought this through already.
"You were a cuddly toddler?" I grinned at her. Alexis who's so afraid of everyone and everything was a snuggly bear, not what I pictured but still just as cute.
"No, no I wasn't," she defended herself quickly. I laughed at her childish antics while pulling a sleep sack on Rose as she continued to stutter out a defense. "I-I I just liked knowing she was really there," she managed to finally get out. My grin fell a little hearing that, she was worried that Lizzie would leave as her Mom did.
"Well, I still think it's cute," I said with a small smile. Alexis gave me a playful glare before returning to look around the room.
"Alright Rose, you're all dressed," I smiled down at her.
"Why does she sleep in that thing?" Alexis asked getting up from the chair.
"The sleep sack?" I asked not entirely sure what she was referring to.
"Yeah the weird potato sack thing," she repeated with confused eyes.
"It's like a blanket for babies," I explained, picking Rose up off the changing table.
"Does she not get blankets in her crib?" Alexis questioned.
"She's not supposed to sleep with them until she's older. It's dangerous," I elaborated.
"Oh," she answered looking somewhat in deep thought.
"We've gotta go back downstairs to make her bottle," I said leading her out the door with Rose on my hip. I would've normally just fed Rose myself, like this morning, but I didn't want to make Alexis uncomfortable or anything. Plus Alexis seems genuinely interested in Rose for the first time and I don't want to push her away from that.
"Can I help?" She asked curiously as we headed down the stairs.
"Of course," I smiled over my shoulder at her.
________
Once Rose was asleep, I grabbed the baby monitor off the dresser and gently shut her door as Alexis follow close behind me. From everything that's happened today, one thing that's become increasingly apparent to me is that Alexis would make a great big sister. She's very nervous around Rose still, but she was so cute when we were making her bottle. The look of concentration across her face was so funny to me because I don't even focus that much.
I also had her give Rose the bottle, which was pretty interesting, to say the least. She was a nervous nelly when I set Rose down on her lap, but once Rose started cooing at her, I knew she wasn't gonna give up then. She did ask me if I thought babies could smell fear, which made me chuckle thinking about it. The best part of that moment was turning it into a mini photoshoot. Rose wasn't gonna do anything as the bottle was lulling her to sleep, and I knew Alexis couldn't complain too much since she was holding Rose. Most of the pictures Alexis is actually giving me a stink eye, but I managed to get a few good ones. I've been sending Lizzie pictures of the two all day, she's been continuously texting me every moment she has free.
"Okay, what do you wanna do now?" I asked once we had reached the bottom of the stairs.
"I'm not sure," Alexis yawned. It wasn't hard to notice the dark bags under her eyes or the way she looked like she could fall asleep at any moment. Lizzie mentioned it to me in a text earlier but I was still unsure if Alexis would even try to nap.
"Does a movie sound good?" I asked, remembering what Lizzie told me about her sleeping. It can't be said to her directly, she has a really hard time with that.
"Yeah that sounds good," she smiled faintly at me as she stretched her arms.
"Do you want to watch something in particular?" I asked continuing on our way to the couch.
"I don't care," she answered shortly.
"How about a Disney movie?" I asked catching her mid-yawn.
"Sure," she agreed, taking a seat next to me.
"I'll get us some snacks, why don't you look through the movies?" I said pointing her in the direction of the movie cases.
"Ok," she nodded slowly. I went to the kitchen and got a few bowls of snacks before filling up a tinted water bottle with Alexis's PediaSure. If she's not eating she has to try to drink it, Lizzie's orders.
When I returned to the living room, Alexis seemed deep in thought regarding which movie. "Did you find one yet?" I asked setting the food and water bottle down on the coffee table.
"I think so, can we watch beauty in the beast?" Alexis asked shyly.
"Um, yeah," I agreed after a short pause. It's literally a movie about a young girl getting captured and falling in love with the guy. I just hope she doesn't get triggered by it.
I loaded up the movie as she got comfy on the couch. Once I joined her, I handed her the water bottle, which she took sparingly.
"What's this?" She asked giving me a side-eye look.
"It's a-a some PediaSure to help you feel better," I explained slowly not wanting to set her off because I know eating is a touchy subject for her right now.
"I'm not drinking it," she declared shortly.
"We're not arguing over it," I told her seriously.
"Okay, I'm still not drinking it," Alexis told me firmly as leaned over to set the water bottle back down on the coffee table.
"Alexis I don't wanna argue with you, please you need to drink it," I pleaded with her.
"I-I, I don't want to," Alexis sat up with tears in her eyes.
"Alexis why? What's going on?" I said calmly as I scooted over to sit closer to her on the couch.
"I want my mama," she started to cry.
"Hey, hey she's gonna be back so so soon," I tried to reassure her as I pulled her into a warm hug. I think the lack of sleep is starting to catch up to her because this small inconvenience was enough to cause a meltdown.
"I want my mama," she continued to cry it out as I held her.
"She's gonna be home so so soon," I tried to soothe her but it wasn't really working.
"I don't want her to send me away," she let out, well that's a different problem.
"Hey hey breathe, take a deep breath," I instructed pulling away from her to see her face better.
"No, no, she hates me, she's gonna send me away. I'm a horrible monster," she continued to mumble incoherent sentences. I didn't know what to do, I got up off the couch and dialed Lizzie's number but before I could press call, Alexis spoke up.
"Don't call her, please she'll think I'm crazy, and send me away," she said desperately. I was honestly at a loss of what to do with her erratic behavior one moment she's crying a river over Lizzie and the next she's pushing her away. Obviously, last night's talk didn't solve anything.
"Alexis, you are on the verge of having a panic attack over your PediaSure," I told her softly as I moved some hair out of her eyes.
"I'll drink it. I'm sorry just don't tell Lizzie," Alexis said dropping her teary manner for a fearful one.
"What's going on hun?" I asked her searching her body language for any indication of her emotions.
"Please just don't call Lizzie," Alexis repeated with a hint of fear in her eyes.
"Are you sure?" I asked for clarification. It was clear her brain was telling her one thing and her heart another.
"Yes," she said barely above a whisper.
"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked as she moved to pull herself into a secure ball.
"No," she told me firmly.
"When Lizzie comes tonight, I want you to talk to her about what's going on in that mind of yours, okay?" I decided, trying to find a way for her to voice her emotions.
"Maybe," she muttered as she rested her head on her knees.
"Yes, Scarlett, I'll talk to Lizzie," I mocked in a joking tone, hoping to lower the tension.
"Yes Aunt Scarlett," she hummed in response as my heart nearly leaped out of my chest at that. I've been an Aunt to my sister's kids for a while but it just felt different with Alexis. She choose to call me that, it wasn't forced on her.
"It's gonna be okay," I told her in a mothering tone.
"I'm not sure," she admitted to me.
"What's going on?" I pushed again hoping she'd tell me. No one has been able to figure it out, not me, not Ashley, not even Lizzie.
"It's just my head," she mutters glumly with her head still resting against her knees as she starts to sway a little while wrapped in her tight ball.
"What about it?" I asked hoping she'd tell me more.
"It's just loud," she informed me. Unfortunately, that was a very vague answer.
"I'm sorry, Lex," I whispered not sure of how to help someone like this.
"Can we watch the movie?" she asked after a few moments of silence.
"Beauty and the Beast?" I asked making sure she was still up for it.
"Yeah, Belle is my favorite Disney princess," she said lifting her head to look over at me. Her eyes were beet red but there was still that familiar glimmer of hope in her eyes.
"Is it because she likes books?" I asked in a joking tone.
"Yeah, but also because I could relate to her," she told me bluntly. I didn't think kids analyzed characters that deeply at such a young age.
"Oh yeah," I nodded in response.
"Yeah, she went through something kind of like me, in a sense but happier. I guess knowing that other people or well these characters can survive horrible things, it makes me feel a little less alone," she explained in a very mature manner. It was almost like hearing a college student read their thesis paper, not an eleven-year-old girl. "Ya know Aunt Ashley and Aunt Mary-Kate let me watch some of your movies?" she added on.
"Really?" I replied matching her grin.
"Yeah, they said Lizzie's weren't appropriate for me," she explained, clearly not aware of what movies Lizzie has actually been in.
"That's very true," I agreed, laughing internally at what Lizzie would think of this conversation.
"We watched the Avengers movie," Alexis continued.
"What did you think of it?" I asked hoping maybe she was using the movies to tell me what she was thinking or at least what was going on.
"You can't tell Lizzie I watched it," she told me abruptly pausing. I nodded waiting for her to continue. "Ok good, Aunt Ashley said she doesn't know if Lizzie was ok with me watching it so it has to be kept a secret, like seeing you in the park. But I really like it, I think I relate to all of them a little bit."
"Can you explain a little more?" I asked bluntly, trying to decipher on what level is she connecting with these very much damaged characters.
"Do I have to?" She rolled her eyes at me, signaling to me that she had already laid it all out there.
"No, you don't have to. But don't hold it in for too long," I told her with a tight-lipped smile.
"I'll try," she agreed before slowly picking up the water bottle again. I watched as she laid down and hesitantly stared at the water bottle before lifting it to her lips. I didn't comment scared if I say something wrong she'd get upset and we'd be back to square one.
I pressed play on the movie and got comfy on the couch. Alexis slowly drank the PediaSure as she watched the movie intensely. She set the nearly empty water bottle back on the coffee table about halfway thru the movie. Eight ounces in forty-five minutes is still concerning but it was more than she drank last night so I guess that's an improvement.
I watched out of the corner of my eye as she tossed and turned struggling to keep her eyes open as she moved around. "Lex, it's okay, close your eyes," I said in a sweet tone hoping she'd give in soon. She looked at me with a hint of fear or desperation in her eyes, as if she was begging me to keep her awake.
"I promise, it's okay. Close your eyes," I assured her while scooting over to rub her back hoping it'll help coax her into sleeping.
It worked like a charm and soon she was out like a light. I continued to let the movie run as I grabbed my laptop for the kitchen and got to work.
______
Nobody's POV
As the hours ticked by the day seemed to drag on for the infamous Olsen mother-daughter duo, on one hand, they were both very eager to see each other again but on the other, both could feel the anxiety creeping up their spine as the time grew near. Lizzie only had a few more meetings and one last interview before she was done for the day. Alexis had woken in a fearful nature, not long after she fell asleep. It took Scarlett quite a while to get her to fully calm down. She was in an unfamiliar place and it wasn't normal for Scarlett to be around when she was sleeping. But right now she was playing with Rose in the living room while Scarlett watched the kids fondly from the couch.
Although she was playing with the baby's rattle toy, all Alexis could think about was what was going to happen next. Her anxiety was getting the better of her and while Scarlett usually does pretty well at recognizing the anxious feelings, she wasn't Lizzie. She didn't know Alexis as Lizzie does. What seemed to be a calm Alexis at the moment was one who was breaking down inside trying to determine what last night meant to her.
Alexis spent quite a while considering this idea before she had finally worked up the courage to ask Scarlett. "Hey, Aunt Scarlett?" she asked in a nervous voice.
"What's up?" Scarlett answered immediately, looking up from her computer screen to see her niece.
"Do-do you think, it would be okay if I stayed here with you for tonight? Like can Lizzie not pick me up today?" Alexis asked with a fearful tremble in her voice.
"What do you mean, hun? Why don't you want Lizzie to come to get you?" Scarlett questioned, eager to know her reasoning.
"I'm not ready to talk to her right now," Alexis admitted in a small voice.
"Alexis, I don't think it's healthy for me to enable you to shut down around her anymore," Scarlett told her truthfully. She had been letting Alexis blow off her stream, keep secrets from Lizzie, rant about whatever seemed right in the moment, but now it seemed like nothing was actually helping her.
"I'm not shutting down," Alexis shot back quickly trying to defend what little control she felt like she had.
"You need to talk to her, you both need to talk to each other more. It's not healthy, bub," Scarlett said in a sweeter tone as she set her laptop down on the table.
"I don't want to! She's trying to get rid of me!" Alexis exclaimed angrily.
"Hey, don't yell at me," Scarlett said calmly but firmly knowing this anger wasn't towards her necessarily, "why don't you want to talk to her?"
"I don't know," Alexis said shortly not wanting to let anything slip.
"I think you do, Lex," Scarlett said bluntly, she knew it had to do with how Lizzie perceived her but she still wanted Alexis to admit herself.
"I-i-i I just don't want her to hate me," she said lowly, fiddling with her fingers nervously.
"Why do you think that she will?" Scarlett asked again, it was like they were back to square one repeating the same cycle.
"I know she will, once she knows everything. There's no way someone could still want me, or even still like me for that matter," Alexis mumbled not daring to meet Scarlett's concerned eyes now.
"How much do I know?" Scarlett asked after a brief second of silence.
"What do you mean?" she answered looking around the room but still avoiding her eyes.
"How much of everything had you told me?" Scarlett clarified getting up from the couch.
"A little, I think," she informed Scarlett with a raised eyebrow, trying to figure out where this was going.
"Okay and you know I love you, and will still love you no matter what you tell me," Scarlett said nearing Alexis's side where she stood a bit deflated from the day. She nodded hesitantly but nodded nonetheless. "Now how much does Lizzie know?" Scarlett asked.
"More than you, but not much," she whispered as she hung her head low.
"And she still loves you," Scarlett reminded her as she gently lifted her chin so she could clearly see her face.
"But she won't when she learns everything, she'll think I'm a crazy monster and send me away," Alexis repeated as she vigorously shook her head to display the amount of fear overtaking her.
"Alexis, she is not sending you away," Scarlett told her firmly, "what would help you understand that?"
"I don't know, I just don't want to see her tonight," Alexis pleaded. Her eyes grew teary as she stood her ground.
"Lex, I don't think this is gonna help either of you," Scarlett told her honestly trying to decipher where her brain was at.
"Please, please, please Aunt Scarlett," she begged desperately, "I promise I'll be really good. I'll be quiet all night, I won't wake Rose or bother Romain or anything bad. Please just tell Lizzie not to pick me up."
"Alexis, hun, I..."
A/N
I know not the best chapter but nothing like a good old cliffhanger! Don't worry all will come clear soon, I promise we're on the up and up (well more or less going in that direction). It's time for our sweet mother-daughter duo to talk it out for real and actually solve some of their issues. 🙂
Also while it's not Dec 3rd in the book, it is in real life which is Alexis's birthday!