The next few minutes that passed were a blur as I'd climbed multiple flights of stairs and found myself emerging onto the roof of the office block, and dragging in a deep breath. I braced my hands on the railing and looked over the side of the building at the city below me, watching the hustle and bustle of late night tourists and city locals going about their evening, clueless of what was going on four storeys above them. I was shaking and the salty tears i had managed to hold back from Miranda, finally rolled down my cheeks as I let out the softest of sobs.
Naturally I blamed myself for all of this. I mean it was my fault I was in this situation after all. I had wound myself up by teasing Tom by using Bradley and then encouraged Miranda to basically slaughter me in the bathroom. What was I even achieving here?!
I bowed my head, enjoying the cold night air as it caressed the nape of my neck and slowly moved the whispy parts of my hair in its soft breeze. I mentally encouraged myself to pull myself together, staring out across the London skyline.
As my thoughts began to compose themselves again, I heard the fire exit door creak behind me. I rolled my eyes and prepared myself for round two with Miranda, assuming that she had decided what she'd said in the toilets wasn't enough and she wanted to humiliate me some more.
"Ah! There you are" a soft male voice then filled the air behind me and I smiled softly at that simple re-assurance. Bradley. He must have come to see if I was ok.
He joined me by the railing and casually leant beside me, I envied his manor, how casual he was. He had it super easy with this situation.
"You ok?" he asked softly and placed his hand softly on my shoulder so I would look at him. I could tell just by the look in his eyes that he had immediately clocked that I had been crying. "I know I'm not the most mindful man in the universe" he started, making me chuckle softly. He was right there. "But even I noticed, Miranda was getting to you back there." He finished and I blinked back another tear at the mere mention of her name.
"Whatever Bradley" I retorted with a little smirk, trying to make light of the situation. "You were just hoping that I'd come up here for that 'good time' you were offering" I added and rolled my eyes when he looked away from me, as though he had been caught out. But what he followed it up with then, caught me by surprise.
"Ok... you may be hot! I'll give you that! But hooking up with women who are broken-hearted over my best friend isn't exactly my style... Even if they are one hell of a kisser" he chuckled and my eyes darted to him in shock, before I gave him a huge smile.
"I think you'll find you, kissed me!" I replied and he nudged me playfully with his shoulder.
"And you're very welcome for that!" He laughed and I couldn't help but shake my head, smiling away to myself as I did. But as quick as his humour came, it went just as fast and his face returned to a serious but friendly look. "But seriously though, if you want to or need to talk, I'm here, ok?" he asked as he took my hand and squeezed it softly.
I knew he didn't need a response from me in return, so I gave him a simple nod and stepped forwards, pulling him into a friendly hug, glad that I had someone other than Michelle to talk to about the situation I had got myself into. I felt Bradley rub my back softly and I was content for a moment, as if that night had never happened. It was nice.
"Things will get better Ally" he whispered and I really hoped that he was right. But he didn't know if it was true though, and that's why my stomach was still in knots. "You may not believe me right now, but you are a fighter.. Even in the short time we've been friends... I know you" he added, as if he knew what I was thinking.
He started to let me go, just as another creak came from the fire exit door opening, had the party suddenly moved to the roof?
"Seriously Brad? We literally spoke about this not even ten minutes ago!" Tom's voice filled the air then and my eyes widened. I hastily took a step back from Bradley then as it was clear Tom had got the wrong idea this time. "She is not one of your flings... I won't let you take advantage of her, just because she's upset" He growled and I looked up at Bradley's face as he rolled his eyes and then winked at me.
"Who said he was taking advantage of me?" I asked then and stepped out from behind Bradley to look directly at Tom. I wasn't sure I was liking this possession he felt he had over me much now. Bradley turned to face him then and I could have sworn that I physically saw him puff out his chest at him.
"Yeah, calm down! I was actually cleaning up your mess" he growled and Tom's eyes widnend and his face dropped.
"What does that mean?" he asked, looking between his best friend and me, pure worry on his face now.
"Don't play dumb Tom... It's not a good look on you" Bradley replied and shook his head before he turned back to face me, his eyes softening immediately. "You ok for me to leave you two here to talk? Or do you need be to kick his ass before I leave?" He asked and despite the whirlwind of emotions going on with me in that moment, the visual image of Bradley doing that to Tom made me crack a smile.
"I'm sure I can hold my own... Thanks though Bradley" I giggled and squeezed his shoulder, giving him the all clear to head off and resume his fun downstairs.
"Anytime Beautiful" He replied and threw me a wink before heading to the door, making sure Tom got one more glare off of him before he closed the door behind him.
Tom and I were alone. And the silence was so loud. I turned back to Tom, but wasn't exactly sure what to say. So you can understand my delight when Tom broke the silence for me.
"Are you ok?" he asked, taking a step towards me and resting his hand on my arm, but I shook it off. I didn't want him to touch me, not yet.
"I'm fine... I can take care of myself after all" I replied and then narrowed my eyes at him to continue. "I graduated RADA with the highest results, I'm financially stable.. ish and I am quite happy to take a cab or the tube without having a nervous breakdown about being alone" I finished, not that it was really necessary. But Tom listened never the less.
"I know... you're amazing" He said softly as his eyes caught mine. But that set me off again.
"You're damn right I am! And I'm far too good for this bloody back and forth 'will they, won't they' bullshit!" I snapped. There is was, no more holding back.
"I... I know that too" he stuttered, clearly thrown off from never having to see me like this before. I stepped closer to him then, jabbing my finger against his shoulder as I continued.
"One minute you pull me onto the dance floor, then the next I might as well be watching your wedding speech!" Another jab followed that to help me make my next point, but Tom interrupted me before I could continue, something had changed in his eyes.
"And I cannot and have not stopped thinking about that dance since..." He said, as though he was trying to lure me in with that sexy voice and his gorgeous eyes... but that wasn't going to work... yet.
"You said you wanted to talk... Well here's your big chance Tom! Let me have it! Tell me about how sorry you are and how wrong this is!" I growled. My eyes full of fire, and not the sexy kind, this was all rage. One more jab to his shoulder just to make a point then followed. "Why did you even ask Sarah to get me to stay tonight? Did you want me to see her all over you?" I asked. I felt the tears coming back then, brimming in my eyes as my vision started to go a little blurry. I went to jab at his shoulder one last time but instead he reached out and grabbed my finger, holding it tightly.
"No! Of course not.... I just.. I wanted you here. For once in my life I wasn't thinking about everyone else and what might have happened with her here" He sighed and I couldn't help but shake my head.
"Well maybe I should make it easier for you and tell Sarah I quit, then you won't have to see me anymore and live happily ever after" I huffed, of course that wasn't what I wanted to do, but if it got me out of this mess, I would give it all up.
"Please don't do that" He sighed. "Not because of me... those kids adore you and it would break their hearts if you quit" He added, not thinking about us at all this time.
"Trust me, it would break mine too, but I can't exactly tell you that I don't want you seeing your own family so that we don't have to see one another, that's cruel! It would be much easier if I left. They'd soon forget about me." I told him and I swore I saw tears start to build up in his eyes for a second before he blinked them away.
"I'm doing everything I can to get out of this bloody engagement Ally... trust me" He whispered. Tom reached out and took my hand softly, running his thumb over my palm softly and I felt myself start to wilt. I wanted him to come closer. Suddenly all I craved was his touch... everywhere. "Every time I see you, I'm fighting with myself not to let myself get carried away. I'm constantly fighting not to touch you... not to... oh fuck it"
Tom gave up and pulled my hand, my body crashed into his and I felt his arms wrap around me, pressing me harder against him. I barely had time to process what was happening before I felt his lips hit mine and his hand lift from my lower back up to my neck, cradling my head as our lips and tongues danced together in a heated kiss.
I melted into his arms as my fingers tangled themselves in his hair. I felt the warmth of his body against the contrast of the cold night air around us. I pulled away slowly for a second, just to look up into his eyes, they were so blue and sincere. He'd meant every word he'd just said.
"Tom.." I whispered softly as we stared into each others eyes, in that moment, time just stopped and I wished it would never start again.
Without saying anything Tom's arms wrapped tighter around me, tighter than I had ever felt them before. His fingers trailed up into my hair and he held me close, so close his minty breath tickled my nose, making me smile softly. He leant down slowly, making our lips brush very gently over one another, teasing me with the softest of kisses. But it wasn't long before he soon deepened it again, pulling me deeper into a passionate embrace. I pulled back just slightly, our lips still not parting as I slipped his jacket off his shoulders and slowly began to unbutton his shirt. I needed him and something pressing against my stomach told me that he needed me too. Tom's body shifted slightly when he realised my hands were undressing him slowly.
"We shouldn't do this here... anyone could walk up here and see us..." He whispered, but even as he said this to me, I felt him hitch my thigh up around his hip, his gaze on mine with a fire behind his irises. "This was all I could think about when I had you on that dance floor" He purred, his lips grazed along my jaw line and up to nibble on my ear, making me moan softly at the sensation. My skin was on fire and every time he pressed a hot kiss to my neck, it made me want him more and more with each passing second. "Tell me what you want Ally... I'll give you anything" He whispered into my ear, and I felt goose bumps rise up on my skin at the feeling that rough purr gave me. I could feel exactly what he wanted to give me, throbbing between my thighs as he hitched my leg higher up around his hip.
"Kiss me Tom... Hard and fast" I moaned, there was so much more I wanted to get him to do, but I couldn't think straight in that moment. His lips crashed back against mine, opening our mouths so our tongues tangled together. I gripped his body, anchoring myself to him as I lost myself to the passion and pleasure of his touch and kiss. But I needed more. And clearly so did Tom.
Hi mouth began to roam then as he walked us backwards, pressing me against the railing. He dropped my leg and ran his fingers over my body as he continued to kiss me. His thumbs grazed slowly over my now hard nipples and his lips followed swiftly down to join his thumbs, skimming over my hard nubs slowly, causing me to let out a deep, loud moan.
"Oh my god... Tom" I whimpered, needing every part of him, never wanting him to stop. My eyes rolled dizzily. He has brought my whole body to a boil and I could feel my most intimate part of me dripping from the hot heat between my legs. Every part of me that his fingers or lips touched, left behind a soft tingle and he made sure to leave no part of me un touched.
The wind started to pick up and with it, came the sounds of the party, drifting up from an open window below. I was swiftly reminded of exactly where we were, and for a moment it dragged me back to that horrible reality and I started to get that feeling, the urge to stop. That was until I felt Tom pull my hips flush against his, causing a surge of ecstasy through me, clearing my mind of reality and pulling me back into the dream I was finally getting to live.
I felt another loud moan about to escape my lips, so I bit down hard to hold it back this time, trying not to attract any attention now I knew we could have been heard at any point. Tom's eyes fell to my lips, staring at them with dark eyes.
"Just you wait until I can make you cry out my name properly... nice and loud" he growled and I had to lean in for another kiss to stop myself doing it for him right then and there, my hand slipping down to his belt. I let my hand wander further then and cupped the bulge that pressed against my stomach. My eyes widened at his size, rigid against the palm of my hand. I couldn't help but lick my lips at the delicious thought of being pressed against him, just skin to skin. I used my other hand then to tease the waistband of his boxers, pulling it back and letting it go so it snapped against him. Tom let out a deep groan in response and kissed me harder to show his pleasure before he pulled away again.
"You're killing me here Ally" he purred, eyes still dark with desire as my hand began to stroke his length again through his trousers, faster and harder as I revelled in his intense reaction. My own hot heat now soaking my cotton panties beneath my dress. Tom moaned again then, but something in his voice was different that time, his body began to twitch, as if he was about to lose control. Suddenly he reached down and grabbed my hand, halting my movement completely.
"Tom?" I asked, a little worried that I had done something wrong. He stayed quiet, holding me still as he pressed his forehead against me, trying to catch his breath.
"I want to... it's just.." He started and his eyes met mine. They were guarded now and he pulled back slightly, clearing his throat. "We need to stop... I can't even remember how long we've been up here now" He whispered and pressed a very light peck to the tip of my nose. I knew he was right about this. I just wished he wasn't. People were sure to start looking for us soon, if they hadn't already by that point.
Tom began to fix his hair and clothes, buttoning up his shirt as he continued to rake his gaze over me. I did the same and re-adjusted my dress, tucking everything back into the right place. The cold breeze dried the dewy sweat on our bodies as we did so, causing us both to shiver.
Once we were both fixed up again, Tom turned to start heading back to the fire exit but I caught his hand to stop him. I turned him back round to face me, a gentle and pleading smile on my face.
"Just one more kiss? That's all I ask... Then I'll leave you alone" I whispered softly and Tom cracked a cheeky smile. He ran his finger tenderly along my cheek before pressing his lips to mine one more time. As his tongue slipped past my lips, I wrapped my arms around his back again, trying to make that last little moment last forever.
From the open window below, we heard Miranda's voice, calling out for Tom as she tried to find out where he was. It was then I knew our time was officially up.
"Sounds like her majesty needs you" I sighed as I stepped back, my heart breaking once again at the thought of having to give Tom back.
"Ally" Tom said with an upset sigh, I knew he didn't want to go either, but we both knew he had to. He reached for me, but I had to make myself take another painful step back, wrapping my arms around myself. I knew if I hadn't, I would have never let him leave then.
"Tom.. You need to go" I told him bluntly. He knew it wasn't what I wanted, but his reputation was on the line. I couldn't be the one to ruin his career. Tom nodded and tucked his hands into his pockets, taking one last longing look at me.
"I'll see you soon" He announced, before turning to leave, making sure to take one last look at me before he walked through the door and headed back down to Miranda.
I turned back to look out over the city again, unable to watch the door close behind him. The clang of the metal was hard enough to hear. I stayed there for a few minutes more before I looked down and saw Tom and Miranda emerge onto the footpath below. The sight of them together bringing a fresh pang to my chest. Miranda pulled him against her and pressed a deep kiss to his lips while the car was brought round to get them back home. I couldn't watch any longer so made that my cue to leave the rooftop to head down to collect my stuff and meet up with Sarah and Yakov.
What a night. But this was far from over.