4 months
(I didn't update on Wednesday on accident, I got preoccupied with going to the doctor and all that was bleh, anyhow, here we are.)
This is the first day I will go back to the lab, I don't want to, but I need to confront Elijah, it's been probably 2 almost 3 weeks since I have seen or talked to him, maybe this is a bad idea, but I should at least say sorry, for not only ignoring him, and canceling our appointments, not answering his calls and texts...
Possibly this is the last time I will see him, I mean no progress has been made, and I am about to die soon, or at least it feels like soon.
I take a deep breath and begin walking into the building, slowly... very slowly making my way up the stairs. My breathing was heavy but quick. I sigh and take my last step on the stairs before stepping into the hallway, I bite my lip, tempted to run back into my hole, or more like the corner of my room.
I gulp and walk in. His head immediately looked up, and he had a really big smile on his face. He walked up and hugged me, I panicked a bit, and so I stilled.
He pulled away with a frown, it made me feel worse than I already have been feeling.
"Why... Why haven't you called? Or Messaged anything? Did I do something? I'm so sorry if I did, I didn't mean to hurt you or anything" He rambled on, and I felt my heart sink, biting my lip, my arms wrapping around myself, trying to protect myself in some way instinctively.
"W-why does it matter?" I ask timidly, he looked confused and almost frustrated at that answer.
"Why? Liam that night wasn't just a one-night stand for me that was-"
"STOP!" I yelled feeling the tears in my eyes, and he did stop. He shut his mouth.
"W-we can't even be a thing Elij-"
"Why not?! Is it because of us being patient and doctor? Because that doesn't matter we are adults I-"
"NO! Ok that's that's not it, Elijah I am dying don't you understand that! You can't feel anything for me or whatever! I-i can't do that to you, please ok? I'm not even going to be here in the next couple of months" I sob out, and he doesn't say anything as I feel my legs weaken, and I drop to my knees, sobbing into my hands. Seeing him now, hearing what he was trying to say, it all just hurt. I'm dying, and I can't do anything, the man that I fell in love with I can't even be with, I don't even get a chance, why me, why me?
"Why me" I sobbed out, and I gasped when I felt myself pulled into a tight grip.
"Liam, please, calm down, please, I... I have an idea, but I need you to calm down first." He says, and I nod quickly, coughing, my breaths getting caught in my throat at times, but eventually I can calm down into normal breathing, the tears reducing but still rolling down, He pulls me back a little, he had a sad but sweet smile on his face, he rubbed my tears and I leaned into his hand, the tears coming back more and more at the gesture, it was such a bitter-sweet feeling.
"Are you calmer?" He asks, and I nod, letting him help me stand and let him sit me down into the chair.
---
He smiled as I drank the water he gave to me, more over it was really he forced me to drink it because he said it wasn't good to cry so much and hyperventilate without drinking water after, I never heard of that, but I guess I'm not a doctor.
"So um... What... What were you talking about?" I ask, and he sighs, standing from his kneeling position and going to his desk, rummaging in his drawer, taking some kind of jar of liquid out, it looked gross just from the look of it, it was like when you put oil and water together, and they separate because those things don't mix.
"It's... Well I have been testing, I mean of course I have seeing as that's the point of you coming in here every week... And I think this works, but it hasn't been certified, and I have no idea the side effects, it's illegal I know... But... You are right you're dying, but... I want to try, please, I haven't felt like this about anyone for so long, I want to try, please just let me try." He begs, and I bite my lip
"But I... I don't want you to lose your career because of me... If someone found out you would get in so much trouble, you would lose your job and that means you income for your house and Emily, I don't want to do that to you..."
"I know that, and I already thought about the consequences, but I really don't think anyone will figure out, I know it's a far leap to just start making you drink something that may make your process faster but... It's hard to explain, but I just never looked at anyone like I look at you, I mean sure Emily's mother, I loved her I did, and there is still part of me that always will because she let me have Emily, and Emily is my world but... I never... Though I would fall for a guy either, but I did and that was you, and that's something really important to me. Though I don't agree with you ignoring me for so long, it gave me time to think everything over, and I know what I want, and it's you, please, please just let me try to save you" He says, he sounded desperate, and it kind of took me by surprise, I never heard that tone from him, or maybe I have and don't remember but...
"I guess I am dying anyway, it's not like it will hurt so... I will try if that's what you want." I whisper and he smiled grabbing and hugging me. I sniffle and laugh, his grip is suffocating
"Ok... Just drink this, I have a lot more, and I should make more, I will have you take it every other day ok?" He says and I nod
I take it and put it in my mouth, I almost throw it out, but he covers my mouth, forcing me to swallow, when he knows I have he pulls away
"Sorry I know it taste really fucking bad, but I can't do much about it right now." He says, and I nod chuckling to myself when I realize he cussed, I don't think he ever really did that before.
"Now can we talk? Please? I don't want you to push me away without at least letting us talk first." He says and I nod.
"Ok." I say, and he grins, bringing another chair and sitting with me.
"Let's make one thing clear, I have feelings for you, so that night did mean something to me, did it for you?" He asked, and I nodded, I felt a smile come onto my face a bit at his words and he smiled as well.
"You... You said 'I love you' do you remember that?" He asked, and I felt my face flush, I looked down and nodded a little, nervous on what he would say.
"What do you want us to be?" He said, and I could not understand how confident he was being with such an embarrassing topic.
"I... Well if I don't... Die... Maybe like boyfriends or something" I said, messing with my hands and keeping my head down, I didn't really want to see a disgusted look or anything even if he did already confirm his feeling for me
"R-really?" He said with a stutter making me look up, he was blushing... It's really cute
"Do um... You want to be?" I ask and he immediately nods and smiles. I feel my face grow into a smile, jumping onto him hugging him
"So w-we are boyfriends right?" I ask and he laughs
"Is that what you want?"
"I-i already said yes! I-it was literally my idea!" I whined and he laughed
"Then... yes" He says grinning. I kiss him and smile
"Actually, I completely forgot to ask, Well in these new circumstances anyway... Are you sure you are ok with me having a daughter?" He asks, and I smile fondly
"I mean, I can't say I am parent worthy, I am pretty young still, and I'm sure she wouldn't see me like that, but with that being said Emily she is so sweet, I don't mind at all. As long as... You know she likes me, if she doesn't approve then I will surely be upset," I say with a small smile
He smiles and kisses my nose
"Emily loves you" He says and I laugh
"Good"
A/N Sorry if you don't like how it played out but uh... It's my story.
Word Count: 1540