Present:
Sivaangi came out of her room, refreshing herself after a hectic day of work and looked around the silent house
"Amma kozhandhaingala playground kootitu poirkaangala pa?" Asked Sivaangi looking at her father who was busy watching tv, avoiding her eyes
"Amma kovilkku poirkka" he replied keeping his concentration still on tv
"Appo kozhandainga?" Asked Sivaangi confused
"Ashwin kootitu poirkaaru, I think to his hotel" replied her father in a neutral tone
"How? What? I mean why.." she stammered a bit in shock
When her father did not reply she lost her cool.
"Yaara kettu anupineenga?" She asked him with burning rage
"Yaara kekanum? He is their father , he has all rights" replied Sivaangi's father curtly, provoked by her rudeness
"No he doesn't, we are not married" replied Sivaangi anger reaching its limit
"You should have thought of that before becoming the mother of his children" replied her father with same anger
Sivaangi froze like a hit puppy.
"I am sorry Ma, that came out wrong, I didn't mean it, I am so sorry" begged her father knowing how much his words would have hurt her
"It's ok pa, after all that is the truth, I should have thought about a lot of things, but I didn't" replied Sivaangi in a depressed tone
"I am sorry Sivaangi, you know I have never questioned you, not even once about anything that transpired between you both, because as your father I love you and I will love you regardless of what you do" said her father
"You remember how you hugged and slept with me for almost half of your pregnancy, not letting even your mother near you, saying I am your comfort zone" asked her father
Sivaangi continued looking at her father without replying
"Don't you think Nethra and Mithra deserve the same kind of love and comfort?
"I can feel the same love I have for you emanating from Ashwin towards Nethra and Mithra, then as a fellow father, how can I deny any of his requests? That is why I said ok when he asked whether he can take the kids with him" added her father
"You may not need him in your life anymore and that is your choice, I had never commented on it before and I am not going to start now, but you cannot deny the fact that Nethra and Mithra deserve a father and it will be a crime if you stop that, when the father is a man like Ashwin" finished her father.
Sivaangi sat there without replying, immersed in deep thoughts.
"Seri pa, I will think about it, ippo naan Poi kootitu varen" she said and got up.
Sivaangi was sitting in a cab, thinking about everything her father just said to her.
"Am I being selfish denying the kids the fatherly love they deserve? even I cannot deny that Ashwin is a fantastic father, but then that means I have to accept him, can I do that?" She asked to herself
"Let me first start being cordial with him, baby steps" she replied to herself
She knocked and waited outside his room, waiting, when his assistant came and opened the door.
She smiled at him, he smiled back and left the room, leaving the family alone. She came inside looking for them, but the scene she saw froze her completely, bringing back all the memories she had buried deep inside.
Ashwin was standing near the dry area of the kitchen counter, with Nethra and Mithra on either side of him, standing on a stool to match to their father's height to some extent, wearing cute chef's hat, their hands elbow deep in some flour and mouth full of giggles and laughter.
All three of them were facing the camera that was on a tripod.
"Hi ammmmma, come come, we are making muffin and Ashwineyy is taking a video of it" squealed Mithra happily.
Sivaangi walked really fast towards the tripod and ripped the camera out of it forcibly with audible grunts and raised her hand to throw it on the floor and smash it into pieces when she saw the horror and fear on her baby daughters' faces.
She stopped herself, took few breaths, calmed her down and then threw the camera on the couch instead and went directly near them, took their hands and started walking towards the door.
Both of them followed her like a puppy without a single word, with fear and hurt overflowing in their eyes.
Ashwin who froze in shock, came into senses when he heard silent whimpers from Mithra.
"Sivaangi nillu" his voice came booming stopping her on her tracks
He came slowly near her and looked into her eyes, his eyes red with anger, which she had witnessed only once before, on that fateful day, sending chills through her spine
"Whatever your problem with me, deal with me when we are alone, but please not in front of our kids, look at them, they are terrified" he said
Even though his words were polite and his voice was calm, she felt like she was stabbed with a ice pick.
She just looked at him, and started to leave without saying anything when his hands stopped her
"Please Ma, look at them, they are petrified, it is not healthy for them if you leave when their mental status is like this, konjam irundhutu po, let's show them that we are not fighting, please" he pleaded
Sivaangi looked at her daughters' face and even though she couldn't accept it, she knew Ashwin was right.
She bent down to the height of kids and touched their cheeks
"Sorry kuttimas, edho tension, adhaan amma appadi behave panniten, sorry" she apologized to them.
"So you are not angry with us for coming to Ashwineyy's place without informing you?" Asked Mithra
"No Ma, kandippa illa, see even amma is going to stay here, you three go back to what you were doing, I will wait here" she said and went and sat on the sofa.
Nethra who was silently looking at her mother, came near her.
"Amma, please don't be mad with our Ashwineyy, he is very sweet and we like him very much, please be friends with him" pleaded Nethra with tears in her eye.
Sivaangi stared at Ashwin for sometime, and then at the tiny face of her daughter. She let out a huge breath, got up, and gave her hand for a handshake, indicating she wants to be friends with him, shocking him the second time for the day
"One second" said Ashwin, went inside his bed room and within seconds he was back with a huge bouquet of red roses and gave it in her hand
Sivaangi gave him a confused look
"Illa, I know you would get mad for bringing the kids here without your permission, adhaan avangala drop panna varacha, idha kuduthu sorry kekalaamnu vaangi vetchen" said Ashwin giving her his charming smile which makes her heart skip a beat every single time.
"Ayo Ashwineyy, so cute, amma hug him Ma, he has bought you such a cute bouquet, hug him please, that is what you do to us when we do something nice for you right?" Exclaimed Mithra while jumping and clapping her hands
She looked at Ashwin shocked but he just opened his arms with his trademark smile.
She turned and saw the excited face of Mithra and expectant face of Nethra.
She slowly moved into his open arms and hugged him for name sake without touching him, but his hands wound around her like a python and pulled her into himself completely. Sivaangi struggled for bit, but then she heard that familiar rhythm, it instantly calmed her down, and for a minute they forgot about all the hassles and problems between them and ventured into a different world. After being lost for so many years, they closed their eyes in content, finally they are back home.
Mithra pulled Nethra along with her and ran towards their parents and hugged their legs tight, squealing 'Group hug, Group hug' which brought them back to this world.
Sivaangi's face turned pink with blush, she bent down and lifted Nethra and kissed her on her cheeks trying to cover her blush, while Ashwin did the same to Mithra.
"Ippo I want a kiss from amma" squealed Mithra trying to jump to her mother from her father.
Ashwin got hold of her before she could fall, moved towards Sivaangi and made it easy for Mithra to lean over and get a kiss from her mother while Ashwin kissed Nethra
Even though his lips were kissing Nethra, his eyes were completely on Sivaangi, letting her know what he wants next.
Knowing that if she looked into it anymore, she might end up kissing him , Sivaangi moved away from there to the Sofa
"Okay Ashwineyy , va va, let's resume muffin making" squealed Mithra getting down from her father and dragged him towards the counter.
"Blueberries? are we making blue berry muffin Ashwineyy? " asked Nethra looking at the packet in Ashwin's hand
"Yeah, we are going to make your mother's favorite blue berry flavored muffin" said Ashwin looking at Sivaangi who was busy hearing some songs, her eyes closed.
"Ayo, no, Amma hates any baked pastry items, especially blue berries" said Nethra again shocking Ashwin
"The other day when Thatha bought a huge box of blue berry flavored yogurt for us, Amma fought with Thatha and threw the packet in the waste bin without even opening" added Nethra trying to convince the confused Ashwin
Ashwin looked at Sivaangi, his heart whimpered knowing how much Sivaangi is hurt that she had given up all her favorite items that reminded her of him.
That minute he took a resolution, whatever happens, he is not going to let Sivaangi go again, he will move the entire world if he has to, in order to win her back.
Both the kids slept on the drive back, despite Sivaangi's objection, Ashwin had accompanied them to their place to drop them off.
Both of them carried each sleeping kid in their hand and reached her house.
Her mother's eyes filled with tears when she saw both of them carrying each kid like one big happy family
They slowly placed the kids on their respective beds. Sivaangi retreated back to close the door, but Ashwin stood there standing, admiring his sleeping beauties. He bent down placed a mild kiss on both of their foreheads and followed Sivaangi out.
"We need to talk Ashwin, lets go down to the park" said Sivaangi once they were out of the kids earshot
They both sat down in one of the park benches, in silence not knowing how or what to start
"This won't work out Ashwin, so it is best you stop inserting yourself in our lives now itself before the damages becomes irreversible" said Sivaangi
"Why wouldn't it work?" asked Ashwin calmly, giving her an opportunity to explain herself
"1. My life is here in Singapore now, I have no plans of moving back to India, but your life is there
2. Even if I agree to come to India with you, how are you planning to explain instant kids to your family and friends? you are not a regular person, you and me along with the kids will become a feast to paparazzi.
3. I have literally fought tooth and nail to re build my career here, back there I have absolutely nothing, and I cannot live being dependent on you.
And finally, even if miraculously you find a solution to all of the above problems, I don't think I will ever have the heart to forgive you Ashwin.
Ashwin sat there thinking for a while without replying.
"I don't have all the answers right now Sivaangi ma, but trust me I will figure something out, but regarding your last concern, can I ask you one question? " asked Ashwin looking into her eyes
"Didn't I forgive you? Even you cannot deny the part you played which lead to that day's incident. One second, for one second, think what you would do if our roles were reversed and if I had done, what you did? " he asked her knowing the pain this question will cause her
As expected, Sivaangi's face turned pale and colorless with self realization and it broke his heart, he wanted to pull her into a hug and say 'Everything is alright' but using every ounce of will power he had, he started walking away, knowing she is in need of tough love now.
Author's note:
Hello there.
When we love someone so much, and that someone hurts us during our most vulnerable time, the logical part of the brain completely shuts off, it will also push down all our mistakes that lead to the hurt, deep down the subconscious mind, not letting us think that too and get even more hurt. It is part of Human survival instincts.
That is why some time when we are very weak or hungry, we shout at or get angry at our parents or our loved ones for hurting us, not thinking even for a second what action of ours triggered them. The mistakes might be on both sides, but our brain will conveniently encapsulate our mistakes until some one points it out to us explicitly.
So coming to this chapter, I know this is a mixed one having both happy and sad instances. How did you guys like it?
Let me know your thoughts in comments and shower your love as always via votes
Love,
DV
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