BRIELLE
Every bone in my body is frozen as I sit inbetween Graybear's thighs. His hand remains on my lower back, squeezing it ever so slightly.
"What did you just say?" He asks lowly, making my heart beat out of my chest.
I said we were going to slow dance right?
But why would he get that reaction? Maybe he just doesn't like dancing, or maybe....
Oh no no no no.
I told him I loved him.
Oh shit.
"You heard what I said," I barely whisper, not looking back at him.
"I did, but I want to know if it's true," He replies back and I feel his stare in the back of my head.
"I said the word 'freaking' and then your first and last name," I snort, running a hand on my face before standing up.
This is so embarrassing.
"Woah baby, what are you doing?" Gray asks, putting a hand on my thigh as I step out the bath.
"I just confessed my love for you dickhead, and I didn't exactly mean too," His eyebrows raise and I sigh.
That was not meant to come out like that.
"How long have you known?" He asks, his voice deeper than usual as I wrap a towel around me.
It's weird how comfortable I am to be naked around him, it's probably because I love him.
"Known what?" I retort, biting the inside of my cheek.
"Known you've loved me," Gray replies, a grin falling onto his face.
My face falls, "About a week."
"And you didn't think to tell me? And when you do you basically say it was a mistake!" Gray starts and I sigh, looking out into my bedroom.
A perfect escape route.
"Can you not do that?" I ask, wrapping my arm around my body to keep the me warm.
"Do what?" He bites back, his eyes glaring at mine.
"I didn't say it was a mistake," My eyes avert to the floor.
"In your words you said 'I didn't exactly mean too'." Gray argues.
"That doesn't mean I thought it was a mistake, it would of been a mistake if I didn't actually love you!"
He falls silent, taking in my facial features as I wrap the towel around my body tightly. His towel is wrapped around his waist, revealing the very defined six pack.
His eyes flutter close, and he shakes his head at me.
"Goddamit Bee," Gray mumbles, rubbing his forehead over and over.
"I'm going to give you time, because you're being an asshole," I snap, grabbing a pair of jeans and a hoodie before walking back into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me.
"Oh come on Bee! Don't be like that," Gray shouts, knocking on the door after me.
Ignoring him, I slide on the jeans and hoodie. Opening the door a second later to find Gray still stood behind the door.
"What's wrong?"
I scoff, "You have training later, I got your stuff ready, cleaned it all."
"Changing the subject really?" Gray snorts, shaking his head.
"We need to talk about it."
"Talk about what?" I start, "How I just told you I love you, and then you be an asshole about it?"
"Because it's not normal okay?!" Grayson shouts, hitting his forehead.
"I don't get loved, I never have. It's new for me, alright? You say it, and then you say you didn't mean to tell me, it's fucking confusing babe."
"Because I didn't!" I whisper shout, his eyes take on such a hurt that it looks like he's just taken a knife to the gut.
"This is exactly what I didn't want, you too be rude about it. I wanted to tell you when the time was right, not when we were in the middle of having a bath."
Grayson falls silent, looking around the room and then back to me.
"I'm going out," I announce, sending one glance at him.
"We can talk about it later," I promise, only before walking out the door, leaving Grayson in the room.
That was not how I expected it to go. At all.
~~~
"I don't even know who's in the wrong," Amelia sighs, fiddling with the bracelet I bought her for christmas.
I sigh, after about an hours conversation with my cousin in a food court, I've come to the conclusion that I'm in the wrong.
Obviously me walking out on Grayson in the middle of the conversation was wrong, but yet again he was a little rude about it.
"I am," I admit, playing with the small fry in my fingers.
Only before throwing it in my mouth, it's currently nearly six pm. And Grayson would of finished his hockey training by now, and he's probably at home eating out the fridge.
A smile creeps onto my face, that sounds so wrong.
"Want some?" She says, pointing towards her beer she got with her fake ID.
"Sure," I mumble, taking the drink in my hands.
Amelia watches me cautiously only before standing up, "I'll get you something better."
Sighing, I watch as she walks away heading back towards the court. Which I didn't even know sold alcohol if I'm honest.
Actually that's a lie, I watched Bad Moms Christmas and they got drunk in a mall.
The fry spins between my fingers as I wait for my cousin to come back with some mystery drink. But it snaps in half and I groan in frustration.
The temptation to text Grayson is there, and my fingers are itching to do it. But I hold back, I'll let him think about stuff for a while, and then I'll apologise.
You're such a fucking idiot Brielle.
Amelia returns a minute later with a drink, it looks a lot like coke. But the smell of jack daniels does not miss my nose.
"Here you go cuz," She hums, sitting opposite me again.
"Thanks," I whisper, taking the drink between my lips as I feel my phone ping from my pocket.
My heart beats, please be him, please be him, please be hi-
Nope it's just instagram, dammit.
Tilting my head to the side, my phone unlocks revealing the notification- no one more has come through now.
My body freezes and I blink several times, hoping that what I'm seeing is just a fucking dream.
"You okay?" Amelia asks, I can feel her stare into my head as I look at my phone. My gaze fixed on these two notifications.
I can't even speak.
No words are able to form in my mouth, as the same with my body not being able to move.
Joshd_269 started following you.
Joshd_269 tagged you in a post.
My chest rises and falls as I stare at the phone, my finger hovering over the notifications before I finally gather the nerve to click on it.
How did he get my account?
Why is he following me after all this time?
Clicking on it, instagram slowly loads and my leg bounces up and down. Impatiently waiting for it to load, stupid damn mall wifi.
"Hurry the fuck up," I mumble, staring at my phone as my leg bounces faster than before.
It finally loads, and my leg stops. Blinking several times I stare at the photo- no photos.
There's two.
Two of me.
Oh please no. No no no no no.
A photo of me leaning over the table, white powder covering my face as a small tray sits at the table beneath me.
Josh sits next to me, smirking as a hand lays on my boob. My eyes are extremely bloodshot as I sit in a bra and short shorts. My boobs half hanging out.
I look so out of it, unwell as it. Several hickeys lay on my neck, but not from Josh. His friends.
Apparently they were allowed to 'share me', except from the part were I got punished afterwards. Even though I had no flippin' choice.
My breath hitches as I swipe to the next photo, my eyes swell up as I look at the picture.
This time, it's one with me passed out on the bed. Josh and his friends are sat all around me, needles lay close to my unconscious body.
Except one boy, who's sat kissing my neck as all the boys smirk.
Oh my god, this was the night. The night were everything happened.
How could he have that?
My phone is snatched from my hands, as Amelia looks at the photos.
"Oh how I missed you my darling. You have the best pussy in the entire world," She reads out, I must of missed the caption.
I can't breathe, I can't see. I can't do anything.
Please, god no.
"Who the fuck is Maddie?" Amelia snaps, passing me the phone.
Maddie reposted the post on her story, with the text "guess she isn't so perfect after all xo." And I would be able to guess Ryen has probably done the same.
"I need to go," I announce standing up, walking towards the exit so I can drive home.
Where I'm safe.
Tears fill my eyes as they start too fall down my cheeks, most likely ruining my mascara Amelia let me borrow.
When I reach my car, ignoring Amelia's desperate calls for me. I slam the car door, starting the engine as I begin driving out the parking lot.
The radio comes on and if it's so ironic, the song Another Love begins playing and I feel like screaming.
"Shut up," I shout at the radio, trying my hardest too turn it off without looking away from the road.
With a blurry eyesight, I deal with the stupid song until I reach my house. Tripping over the ledge of the car, I walk up to the house sniffling over and over again.
The door opens and I trudge in, kicking off my shoes as tears spill out my eyes, a sob threatening to leave my throat but I hold it back.
I can't believe it, how did he find me again? Last time we talked I made sure he would never talk to me again. And weirdly he agreed, after calling me a 'fucking slag.'
Cardan runs to my feet and I force a smile, ignoring the tears spilling down my cheeks.
He whines once and I stroke his fluffy little head. It's not about to be little anymore, the dog is going to be huge.
"Hey baby."
The sound makes Grayson snap his neck to my direction, his eyes take over my face as they soften.
Wiping underneath my nose, I blink a few times before heading straight to my bedroom.
Gray shoots up from the sofa, practically jumping off and walking directly over to me as I open the door to my bedroom.
My back slides against the wall as a sob echoes through me.
The door opens and Gray comes inside, closing the door behind him.
"Oh my god, baby," He leans down, pulling me into his lap as he sits on the floor next to me.
"What happened?"
Another sob escapes me, "You haven't seen Maddie's story?"
I can feel his head shake on top of mine as I pass him my phone, leaning on his chest as I grab a fistful of his t-shirt.
His whole body tenses, as he kisses my head slowly.
"I'm going to fucking kill them," Grayson grumbles, as I cry onto his t-shirt, not caring about the fact his shirt is now stained.
"But for now, I'm not going to leave you. At all."
"I'm sorry for leaving this morning," I choke out, keeping my eyes closed.
"Shhh, baby it's fine okay?" Gray mumbles into my hair, his hand running up and down my back.
"No it's not fine, I was being an idiot."
"Not now," He whispers, kissing my temple. "Just let me hold you for now."
"Okay," I barely whisper, tears leaving my eyes all over again.
Grayson's hand stays on my back, as he runs his hand reassuringly, his lips pressing soft kisses every now and then; along with the soft 'shh's' he makes.
"I love you," I softly whisper against his chest, only loud enough for him to hear.
"Shhhh," Gray hums, kissing my forehead. "Talk to me about it later, I just need to look after you for now okay?"
"Okay," I nod slowly, sobs escaping from my throat.
One thing I notice, is the way his other fist is clenched and holding some of my hoodie. His eyes stare down at the post currently open on his phone.
And that was enough to send me all over the edge again.
It's been at least an hour, and we're still sat on the floor. Grayson keeping me in his tight hold as his lips stay on my head, in slow, long kisses.
Suddenly he stands up, carrying me as though I weigh nothing as he sits me on the bed.
"I can't let you be miserable all night baby," Gray whispers, placing a soft kiss on my cheek before placing his hands on the bottom of my hoodie.
"Tell me anytime if anything is uncomfortable and I'll stop, okay?" He asks, keeping his hand on my hoodie.
He waits for me to answer, but I slowly nod.
"Darling, I need words. I need to know you're going to tell me."
"I'll tell you," I assure, knowing that I couldn't give two shits if he took my clothes off. It's nothing he hasn't seen before.
"Good girl," He says, lifting my hoodie over my head.
Taking the t-shirt off, leaving me in my bra as he turns around and grabs one of his hoodies.
He reaches round the back of my back, unclipping my bra as his breath hitches.
Pushing his hoodie over my head, I'm englufed in the scent of him. Mostly his extremely strong cologne.
"You okay?" Gray asks, cupping my face with his hands.
"Yeah," I say, sending him a half smile as I wipe the wetness underneath my eyes.
"Okay, I'm going to do your jeans now," Gray adds, unbuttoning my jeans.
Nodding, his hand slides around the back of my jeans, tugging them down my legs. He takes one look at me, before turning around and grabbing a pair of his sweatpants.
After Grayson slides on his sweatpants, he sets me on the bed. Grabbing a hairbrush from my dresser.
His hand slides on the top of my head, as the hairbrush slowly goes through my hair.
A tear slips out of my eye as I let out a shaky breath. He continues brushing my hair, until it's all smooth and he presses a kiss on my head.
"Beautiful," He mutters, putting the hairbrush on the side.
An idea flows through my mind and I step off the bed, sniffling as I grab a hold of Grayson's hand. The one covered in rings.
His knuckles look slightly bruised as I take them in my hands, looking at them as he sighs.
"There was a fight at the arena today," Gray admits as I meet his eyes.
"Between who?" I ask, taking his other knuckle in my hand. Again, it's bruised, with a small cut on one knuckle.
It reminds me of when he beat up that herbert guy, I'm not until sure if the police still looking into it. I haven't heard anything.
That's a good sign.
"Me and this new guy," He says, breaking eye contact as he stares at the floor.
My eyebrows raise and he sighs. I smile, thankful for the sudden distract of conversation topic.
"Ben showed him some photo of you, started saying all this shit about how hot you were and how he'd get in your pants or something. It just happened, I guess."
Gray shrugs as though it's nothing and I raise my hand, resting it on his chin as I tilt it up to meet mine.
"What happened after that?" I ask, whispering as his eyes connect with mine.
"I've been banned for two matches," Gray again shrugs as though it's absolutely nothing and doesn't give two shits.
"The team is alright, they should win. But this new dude sucks ass, it's as though he's never played fucking hockey before."
Smiling, I tap his nose with my thumb, "That's rude."
His eyebrows raise as a small grin spreads across his lips for the first time this evening.
"It's true."
Rolling my eyes, I lean forward into his chest as a hand wraps around my back.
"You didn't have to beat them up for saying some shit about me," I smile, running my finger along his jawline.
It's so sharp it could cut a bitch. Literally.
"Oh but I did," Gray smirks, his hand fiddling with the waistline of his sweatpants on me.
"He said shit about my girl, you think I'm going to stand back and listen?" He stops, looking up at me.
"Nada."
"Doesn't that mean nothing in spanish?" I laugh, it's still a little shaky but I'm enjoying the sudden change of topic.
"It does, but it sounds better to say it as no," He laughs, smiling.
"But don't you get all smart, you've said it on several occasions so don't go making fun of me."
A laugh escapes my throat as I lean back, instantly forgetting about the whole Josh situation.
His name creates shivers down my back as I sigh, looking down at Grayson who's still smiling.
"Come here," He says, pushing me closer to him as his hand meets my jawline, guiding me towards him.
Graybear's lips meet mine softly, and I sigh, leaning into the kiss as his hand reaches the bottom of my hair.
His finger threads through it as we kiss, slowly but gently. No tongues or anything, just nice and innocent.
I pull away, placing an arm on his shoulder as I grin.
"Let's slow dance," He frowns. "We have a wedding to go too next week Graybear, and my peter tingle is telling me you don't know how to dance."
"Peter tingle?" Gray grins, shaking his head.
"Yup, now let's go before I break down again," I'm telling the truth. One minute of silence can remind me of everything, and I do not want to do that.
"Fine," He huffs, allowing me to drag him so he stands up.
Grabbing my phone, but Grayson snatches it out of me, obviously remembering that it was still open on Instagram.
He goes onto Spotify before handing me back my phone, smiling I search up Tangled, knowing the exact song I want.
The kingdom dance, starts playing and I internally laugh, grabbing a hold of Gray's hand.
His hand wraps around my waist as they rest on my lower back, sliding down but I huff. Rolling my eyes, I push his hands up back to my waist and he pouts.
"What is this shit?" Gray asks as I wrap my arms around his neck, squeezing them only slightly.
"A song, from Tangled," I grin, laughing slightly as the music begins to speed up.
"Of-fucking-course," He sighs, moving side to side and my eyebrows furrow.
We start moving slowly, his hands on my lower back, but they're slowly creeping their ways down back to my ass.
"I thought you didn't know how to dance," I question narrowing my eyes at him, he really knows how to dance.
"That's a strong accusation baby," Gray laughs, one hand landing on my ass as he gives it a hearty squeeze, grinning.
I sigh, letting him win this one this time.
"Are you lost baby gorl?" I mock in my best Italian accent. Grayson's head snaps back as he stares down at me.
His eyebrows pinch together, "What?"
"Don't tell me you haven't seen 365 days!" I gasp and he shakes his head. "Oh we are so watching it."
"Sounds boring," Gray scoffs and I smirk.
"Trust me, you'd love it. It's right up your alley."
"Oh yeah?" He hums, looking down at me.
"Yep," I say, making the p sound very effective. He smiles, his other hand now resting on my ass.
Gray smirks, "We'll have to watch it then."
We fall silent, the song changing to 'I see the light' and I immediately start humming along.
Grayson just watches me, taking control of the moves as he sways from side to side.
"About earlier," I begin and he sighs, but nether-less I continue.
"I was stupid, I shouldn't of walked out. Or said I didn't mean too say it, when I did. I did mean to say it, I was just scared too."
"But I'm sorry, we should of talked it out instead of me running away like I always do. I have this thing where I believe that running away from the problem will make it better- and I'm not using that as an excuse.
But, it just happens and I'm sorry for leaving. I shouldn't of done it, and we should of just talked it out. Please don't be mad at me."
Letting out a huge sigh, I look up to find Grayson staring down at me with a smile on his face.
"I couldn't be mad at you, even if I tried," Gray hums, pressing his lips to my head.
"But yeah, you walking out was a shitty thing to do," I scoff, that's just what I said about two minutes ago.
"I was sat here, sitting, crying and throwing up," I laugh, throwing my head back as he grins.
"No but seriously, watching you leave made my heart drop. But I was an asshole about it, and I'm sorry for that," Gray let's out a deep breath.
We fall silent as I plan out what I'm going to say next, so that I don't end up blurting something stupid.
"I love you okay? And nothing is going to stop me, you don't need to say anything right now and I don't care about that. As long as you know," I nod, proud of myself for not saying anything stupid.
"Well what if I told you-"
I interrupt him, "Nope, nada, zilch- I think that's it. But you don't need to say anything okay?"
He opens his mouth to speak but I hush him, he glares at me and I grin.
"We good bro?" I ask, holding out my fist to give him a fist bump as he scowls.
"I'm not your bro," Gray grumbles, squeezing one of my ass cheeks so hard and I squeal.
"Sure, what are you then?" I grin, tilting my head to one side.
"My side piece," My mouth drops as I punch his shoulder, he only laughs at me.
What? How does that not hurt him?
"I'm kidding. You're my main," He exaggerates and I roll my eyes.
"I'm not an option dickhead," I mumble, he's smiling now as he wraps his hand around my waist as he pulls me flush into him.
"I know your not," He whispers, placing a kiss on my head. "That's why you aren't."
"Mhm, sure."
"Baby, I was kidding. I dropped all of them a while ago," He laughs out and I scowl.
"You're so mean," I frown, not looking at him.
His hand touches my jaw as he guides my face to him, our noses brushing as my cheeks flush.
One kiss on my head.
"Your-"
Another kiss on my nose.
"Not-"
A kiss on my cheek.
"An-"
A kiss on my chin.
"Option-"
His lips meet mine suddenly, they press together harshly as he slides his tongue into my mouth.
"That enough to tell you huh?" Gray asks, his hand resting at the base of my neck.
Choke me- Stop.
"I think I need one more," I grin and he dives back in, kissing all over my face as I laugh.
His lips meet mine again and I smile into the kiss, we break away when the door to my room is opened.
Ben stands in the doorway, holding onto the door handle as he rocks back and forth on his heel.
"I saw the post, and I'm sorry Brie. I don't know that they were going to do that."
I sigh, the memory is instantly reminded of and it ruins the entire mood.
"They just asked for his instagram, and that's all I knew," Ben admits and I freeze.
"What?" I choke out, swallowing the bile in my throat.
My own brother.
"On Christmas, Maddie and Ryen wanted to meet up. They said they bought me a present, and I was excited cause I just wanted one," He continues.
Grayson grabs my hand as he stands behind me, his chest against my back.
"But they blackmailed me. They found some dirt on me by going through my tagged posts. Said if I didn't give them the name of your ex they'd release it and tell everyone about me. And you."
"I was more scared about you, so I did. I just didn't want you in trouble," My stomach churns as I feel vomit rising in my throat.
"I'm so sorry."
"How did they even know about it?" Grayson snaps, making Ben look back up.
"I got really high one night, it was one of the first nights we came here. I told them about this girl- which was you. But I didn't say it was directly. They just worked it out, I guess."
Gray stands forward, pushing me behind him as his fists clench either side of him.
"Just go Ben," I mutter grabbing a hold of Grayson's hand.
"Just leave it, he's not worth it. It will just make it worse."
"But he did this," Gray says through gritted teeth, anger prevalent all over his face.
"Ben please just leave," I attempt, staring at Ben through blurry eyes. My brother nods, slowly shutting the door, but he pauses.
"I'm so sorry Brie. I love you."
With that he closes the door, leaving just me and a very angry looking Grayson.
"It was all him," Gray mumbles unbelievably.
"He was the reason you were crying today," He adds, his knuckles turning white.
"He told them. He told them everything Bee."
I cut him off, "Please can we just change the subject?"
A tear rolls down my face as he finally turns around, looking at me. His eyes soften when they see me and he pulls me into a hug.
"Can we go to sleep it's getting late?" I sigh, wiping the stupid tear from my face as I grab my phone.
I feel so stupid for fucking crying, goddamit.
"Sure baby," Gray hums, pulling me towards the bed.
"Come here," He ushers, pulling me into his chest as he lifts me up. My legs wrap around his waist as he lowers himself on the bed.
I roll off slightly, our legs tangled as he pulls the cover over us. Even though I have a hoodie and sweatpants on, with a duev, the odds of me still being cold is very high.
My head rests on the pillow next to his, as he lays back staring at the ceiling.
"Thank you for not being mad at me after I stormed out, it was a shitty move," I say again, placing my finger on his chest.
The damp marks from my crying fit are still on his chest, and still noticeable when you run your fingers over it.
He hums and I sigh, closing my eyes as he rests a hand on my thigh which is currently draped over his waist.
"Hey Bee," Gray starts, pushing the hair out my face.
His chest rises and falls as he averts his eyes to the ceiling as I wait for him to speak.
"I wanted to tell you this in Hawaii, over some romantic ass dinner or something," He laughs out, looking nervous as hell.
My eyebrows furrow, what was he going to tell me?
The wind is knocked out of my chest when he speaks, surprising me.
"I love you."