"Mara?" I called not seeing her in her room.
"There you are." I said seeing her tucked into my bed and asleep.
'I should shower.' I thought taking out clothes.
'White oversized T-shirt and grey baggy pants.' my second voice told me.
I finished my shower and got dressed.
I picked up my phone and stared at it.
'Should I text him first?'
'Or should I wait for him to text me?'
'Maybe I should just not text him today...'
'But then I would have to ask him face to face...'
'But then how would I-' the phone screen lit on and buzzed making me almost drop it.
I caught it and let out a puff of air I didn't know I was holding.
'Dont be so clumsy.' my second voice scolded me.
'Sorry.' I apologized and looked at my phone.
Lucas
Hey.
'I should just try and stay rational... Right.... Rational...'
Hey.
Um...
I have something...
Uh...
You know I'm getting tired of seeing Uh and Um's.
Spit it.
Go on a date with me?
'Is that too foward...?'
'Why isn't he replying!?'
Have you fallen for my good looks?
No.
A date, as friends.
Don't be shy to admit you've fallen for my looks athanasia.
No.
My god...
I forgot how high your ego was...
Pfft! Ok I get it!
So tell me.
Why did you actually ask me on a date.
Hangout...?
Whatever.
So...
Kiel told Jennette that he liked me.
Kiel? That's a stupid nickname.
Fitting for someone like him.
I get it, you don't like him.
But let me continue.
So Jennette may have got mad.
And...
And..?
I didn't know what to do.
So I offered to help her get Kiel to like her.
How does this relate to this whole... Thing.
And I may have said that we can go on a double date...?
So me, you and jennette, Kiel on a date?
Yes. but we will go away and leave Jennette and kiel
to have their alone time.
I see.
So is that a yes?
Why not.
'Ask him Why did he agree?'
Why did you agree?
Would you rather me take back my words?
Nope!
Exactly!
But other then that...
I just want to rub it in that white doggy's face.
Ah! That makes sense.
Why?
Thought I agreed because I like you?
Nope.
You just don't seem like the kinda guy that does
things without a reason.
That sounds about right.
How was your night?
Other then spending a LONG time in the shower?
It was fine.
That shower part is your fault.
I never said it wasn't my fault.
Suddenly I heard glass shatter.
I sat up.
Hold up.
I'll text you back later.
I opened the door.
'Mara is still asleep.'
I walked downstairs.
'I see...' I looked from a distance...
This sight was no stranger to me...
'Today is their wedding anniversary isn't it....' I sadly smiled.
Father was sitting on the couch with bottles around him.
There was a shattered bottle on the floor.
Am I scared of him....?
Yes.
Terrified.
But...
It's times like this that I pity him...
Times like this were I bet the memories of Mama is playing in his head on replay.
I want to help him...
But...
I'm the last person he would want help from..
If someone offered for me to get out of this house...
I would say no...
I get that he's been horrible..
But I don't see that horrible man....
I see a pitiful person...
Someone who found their rope to breathing only to be dunked back into the water.
Someone who was drowning.
Someone who has drowned.
"Why did you leave..." I heard him mumble.
What I did not expect was for a bottle to fly right at me.
'Move up stairs!' my second voice yelled.
I froze.
I flinched as the bottle fell at my feet.
The feeling of glass shards right beside me.
The sound the glass shattering.
The look of this pitiful man.
I didn't get any cuts somehow.
But...
Somehow I felt hurt...
I felt his hurt...
'Athanasia! Athanasia!' My second voice snapped me out of whatever trance I was in.
'Go upstairs. Now.' my second voice commanded.
I walked upstairs avoiding all the glass on the floor.
'Ill have to wake up early tomorrow to clean up...' I thought.
'Why didnt you move?'
'I don't know... I guess... I couldn't turn away from Father... In those moments he looked so...'
'You could've gotten me hurt!' my second voice scolded.'
'I know... For that im sorry... But he just looked so pitiful...'
'You are hopeless!' my second voice scolded.
I moved slowly and sat back on my bed.
'I know...' I thought as I lied down on my bed.
Amaranth was still sleeping soundly.
Jennette probably was too.
I wanted to go back down...
I wanted to help him...
Stupid right...?
But...
I can't help it...
I wanted to help him...
He's still my father...
He may hate me...
But so what...?
I deserve it...
I may not have directly killed mama...
But I killed her by not saving her...
I literally could've tugged her...
Away from the road...
Away from danger...
Away from death..
But I didn't...
Sure you can say I was still a child...
But...
I still could've helped...
I may have been a child but I still had hands and legs to help...
And yet...
I didn't...
I don't blame him for hating me...
It was technically my fault...
I guess guilt was also part of the reason I make sure Amaranth has the best life possible...
I took away her chance at having memories with mama.
I love her as a sister...
Always have...
Always will...
But...
Guilt will still drive me...
'If only you were still here mama...' I looked to the side where the music box was.
'If only you didn't die...' I heard the music from the music box.
Strange...
The music box isn't winded up...
Yet I still hear the music...
'If only...' I looked at the star...
My eyes slowly closed...