As soon as we got out of my jeep, Veronica looked around the deserted grassy field with a frown. She raised an eyebrow at me in question and I shook my head. "Come on, you'll see."
When I started leading her into the wooded area at the edge of the field she gasped and threw her hands up in the air dramatically. "That's it, I'm calling the cops. Where the hell are we?"
"Too chicken to find out yourself, Tiger?" I teased.
Just like I had expected that shut her up and she started following me, muttering under her breath
I chuckled to myself as I looked at her. It was not a big surprise and at this point, I was making this a huge deal to just get on her nerves.
"What were you doing at the hospital?" She asked, ducking down to avoid a low tree branch.
"We were replacing Neil's position in the team and I thought he should be the first one to know about that." She nodded, suddenly looking lost in her thoughts. "What's wrong?"
"I don't know," she mumbled, "It's just...I don't understand what's going on in Neil's head sometimes. I know he is beyond disappointed about not being able to play anymore, but he doesn't act like it."
"He has a lot on his plate right now, maybe it hasn't hit him yet. Just be there for him when it does."
She nodded. "I try to spend as much time as I can with him and I think he secretly enjoys people fussing over him."
I chuckled, shaking my head, "It's just like Neil to take advantage of any situation life puts him in."
"True. He is a whiny baby when he is hurt or in pain and he knows I'd do absolutely anything to make him feel better. Even fluff his damn pillows every hour." She huffed.
"Don't act like you don't enjoy it."
She ducked her head, a reluctant smile on her face. "Ugh, yeah, okay. I do. It makes me feel useful. Like I can somehow ease his pain a bit."
I smiled at that. "I get it."
"How's your mother doing?"
"Good, she is on bed rest for a while."
"And...how are you? You know, now that you know the real story...about your Mom and Andrew Stone."
I sighed, trying to find the right words. "Conflicted? I just didn't like being in the dark. For all these years I always put all the blame on my dad...I still do, but now I know what was the situation that led him to that night with Julian's mother...and it—"
"Changes things."
"Yeah. I mean, I know it shouldn't, it shouldn't change things. He cheated and it's wrong. And technically my mom did nothing wrong by seeking comfort from a friend, even though that friend had feelings for her, and she knew that. My dad asked her to stay away from him but she refused, deciding to lead Andrew on and hurt my Dad. But technically she didn't cheat on him—"
"Technicality doesn't matter, Ty," Veronica interrupted me. "You now know why your dad felt betrayed and everything else that happened before. What he did was wrong. Definitely. But now you know more about the story. It could change the way you see certain things, there's nothing wrong with that."
"Yeah." Our pace had slowed down and she turned to look at me.
"I feel the same way about Max. In the past few days, I've gotten to know so much more about him. He isn't just a cruel...monster anymore. I also see him as a neglected child, who used to constantly work hard for his dad's approval, a boy who found his mother dead one morning." She shuddered. "A boy who blamed your mother for his mother's death, and in some twisted way hates the fact that you've got it all. Hell, he thinks even his own dad prefers you to him."
I knew that, it was probably the only reason I tolerated his shit for so long. I understood his mindset, understood his hatred for me. But it had to stop somewhere.
He didn't just cross a line this time, he shat all over it.
"It doesn't change the things he has done," she quickly added. "I still hate him but now I know why he is the way he is, and I feel sorry for the boy he once was. Its..."
"Conflicting," I muttered and she nodded. We walked for a few minutes in silence, until we reached a small clearing, where the trees were a little loosely scattered.
"I missed this," I admitted.
"What?"
"This. Us, just talking, spending time with each other. I missed you."
"I missed you too." She smiled. That genuine smile, that made her eyes light up and made my heart trip over itself.
I was a goner.
"Well, this is it." I gestured around the place we were standing. A few massive trees surrounded us in all directions. Small bunkers made out of wooden logs were scattered around the place. There was a small trail on the right side that led to a rocky stream, and at the far end of the clearing, was a small wooden cabin.
This place held some of the most cherished memories from my childhood and it felt so good to be back.
"Is that...is that paint?" she asked pointing towards the trees ahead that had splashes of paint all over their trunks and I grinned.
"Yeah, I used to invite my friends over sometimes, and we used to play paintball here. Or sometimes it would just be me and Julian. On some of the good days, mom and dad would join us too."
"Do you own this piece of land?" She asked and I nodded. "Cool. Are we...going to play?"
"Sure, if you're up for it. I think it'll be great for us to shoot each other.''
"Agreed." She chuckled. "I'm assuming that everything we need is in that little shed?"
"Yep," I said leading the way towards it. Fifteen minutes later, we were both dressed in padded overalls and had our helmets on. After practicing her aim on a tree for some time, Veronica declared that she was ready.
"Remember, headshot and you win," I said.
She rolled her eyes with a grin. "I got it. Let's get to the part where I shoot you, Crosby."
When she pointed the gun at me, I took off in the other direction, her aim was way off and it hit a tree to my right but I didn't stop and soon I could hear her chasing after me.
Not to be too cocky, but I was fairly certain I would win. I was familiar with the area and the game, it would be a piece of cake.
After another intense 30 minutes of ducking and chasing each other, I knew I was right. I had shot her shoulder once but she had never managed to get a clear shot on me, much to her frustration.
She was now wearing a determined scowl on her face while she was looking around to find me, it was really goddamn cute.
I shot her leg next from my hiding spot and she growled in frustration. I could have easily gone for the headshot and won, but I didn't want this little game to end yet.
After a few minutes of silence from her end, I got down on my knees to peer around a tree when something hit the back of my head and I fell on the ground in surprise.
"Headshot!" Veronica popped up in my line of sight, upside down, with a smile that looked like a frown. "I win, sucker!"
I rolled my eyes and got up from the ground, "Only because I let you."
"Excuse me?" She narrowed her eyes at me and I raised my hands up in surrender, chuckling.
I'd gladly lose a thousand times to see her win.
***
Time flew by when you were with someone who felt like home.
Hours later, we found ourselves walking at the edge of the stream in comfortable silence.
A cold evening, fading sunshine, and a hand to hold. It was perfect.
"Victor was right, I needed this," Veronica murmured to herself and then looked at me. "Thank you."
"Victor?" I questioned. Who the hell was that? I thought she was hanging out with Josh in her free time, now there was another guy too?
"He is my dad's best friend/future business partner," she said. "He was also the one who gave me my basic self-defense training, last summer."
Oh.
"So, you're training with him again?" I asked.
"Yeah. When Neil was in the hospital, I had decided that I'll get some help, in some way when all of it was over. But the idea of seeing a therapist and pouring my heart out to some stranger terrified me, so Dad suggested that I go see Victor. He is an Ex-military veteran with a degree in psychology. He is not a therapist, but I'm comfortable with him, and he promised me to help me with...anger management."
I nodded, mutely, taking everything in and she nudged my shoulder with hers. "You look shocked."
"A bit..." I admitted and she frowned. "I'm surprised, but in a good way."
"I had to do this. I was a mess, still am...sort off. Last week, hell the entire past year was so hard. Everything that happened with Max, Neil...you." She closed her eyes and shook her head. "Emotions, so conflicting, so strong, and so damn impossible to ignore had consumed me. I could feel it in my fucking bones. And after I learned the reality of Neil's accident and how it was actually meant for me, there is this constant pressure...low and heavy in my chest, uncomfortable and unshakable. I can't...I can't move on."
I felt like my chest was split open. How do I get her out of this suffocating bubble?
Her face was turning red, and I couldn't tell if she was on the verge of crying or ready to hit something.
"Tiger, what happened with Neil was not your fault, you understand that, right?" I put an arm around her waist and forced her to stop walking. "Besides, he survived, he is getting better every day—"
"I can't always look at the bright side, not this time," she interrupted me, and I sighed.
"Then let me sit in the dark with you," I murmured, pulling her into my arms.
She nuzzled into my chest and tightened her arms around me, and it felt right. It always felt right. I kissed the top of her head and murmured, "I love you."
Suddenly, she froze in my arms and began to pull away from me. I frowned, tightening my grip on her, "What's wrong?"
"I... it's nothing." She wouldn't meet my eyes.
I gripped her chin and forced her to look at me. "What is it?"
"Do you really love me?"
I stared at her, dumbfounded. This girl had no idea about the irrationality of my thoughts when it came to her. The dreams in the back of my mind that I hadn't even let myself analyze yet. Dreams of holding onto her forever.
"I do," I breathed. "I love you. So damn much."
"We've just been dating for over a month."
"But I've known you for years."
"Yeah, but—"
"Where is this coming from, tiger?"
"I...I just...I feel way in over my head. And I don't trust my feelings, I feel like I shouldn't jump into a relationship with you when I'm still sorting out so much." She sighed, closing her eyes, before looking back at me. "How do you know if you love someone?"
I smiled brushing my nose against hers. "You just do."
"That's not helpful."
"I don't know how you've grown so much on me or when exactly did you become such an important of my life. It's like watching a snowstorm. You see the flakes falling but you don't realize how they are adding up. Until suddenly, your whole lawn is covered. You're my snowstorm, tiger."
Her eyes sparkled as she soaked in every word I said and then she shook her head, smiling. "You're cheesy as hell, Tyler Crosby."
"Just being honest." I kissed her forehead. "I get that you need time. To forget and forgive."
"Forget maybe, but not forgive. I know you did what you thought was right, and I've forgiven you for that. But I'll kill you if you ever do that again."
"Really? It hasn't changed how you see me?"
"You lied to me and purposefully broke my heart, no matter what the reason was it still stings. you had taken a decision that directly concerned me without taking my opinion into account—"
"I know—" I started to say but she shushed me and covered my mouth with her hand.
"But even after all that I still feel the same for you. My feelings haven't changed, it's grown into something stronger but it has in no way reduced." She let out a heavy sigh. "It's scary."
I kissed the palm of her hand and she smiled, slowly taking her hand away from my mouth. "Why is it scary?"
"Because I don't know what I'll do if you leave again. I don't know if I can take that." Her eyes had turned glassy with unshed tears and I felt a pang in my heart.
I did that. I put those doubts in her mind.
"I won't, I promise," I murmured, hoping to hell that she can see the honesty and determination in my eyes. She was it for me.
"You can't make a promise like that, Ty. And I don't want you to, what I want is to be able to be with you, live every moment no matter how long it lasts without the fear of its end."
I nodded, even if I wanted to argue that what we had would never end, never fade out, because I knew that she was right in her own way.
"I need to get over my fears, first. I need to be myself again," she mumbled.
"I get it, baby. I understand."
"When I'll finally be able to tell you that I love you—"
"I'll tell you that I love you more." I interrupted her. "Whenever that is, I don't care. Take your time and I'll wait."
She smiled resting her forehead against me, a shuddering breath left her lips. "You okay?'
"Just soaking it in. I never want to forget this."
"I won't let you," I promised.