Chapter 16 - Jack now.
I'm in the car shop again on Monday morning with the radio playing Rihanna crap. Ash is under the car that's beside the one I'm working on and Keith is taking a break - as usual. As I finish off and slide out from underneath the car, Ash calls to me.
"Jack. You know, I'm worried about Melanie. She's acting nice to me."
That makes me gulp and sit up, feeling my insides heat up. Of course she is. She just wants Ash to keep at a safe distance so he doesn't know what has been going on between us. Awkward thing is that I'm meant to be meeting her tonight.
Melanie is a cool girl. She's sexy as hell too, with some real substance there in her personality so I can actually hold a conversation with her. But it's not like we're going out. It'd be nice to go out with a girl like Melanie, despite her hunger for dominance and her stubbornness.
Alyssa has been staying away.
"That's weird, mate," I reply casually with a shake of my head. "It's probably just a 'phase'." I put quotation marks around the last word.
We give each other the understanding eyebrow raise.
"Oh yeah," Ash agrees, and then chuckles, standing up to get something from the toolbox.
"How's it going with ... With, uh, Sofia?" I smirk and spin the pliers around the floor.
He rolls his eyes. "Alright, I guess. What you doing tonight?"
This would be funny if it weren't real life. Me trying to change the subject and Ash keeping it obliviously near subjects I don't want to venture to with him. But that's life, I guess - everything is funny only when you look back.
But it would really be awful if he knew I'd banged his step-sister.
"Nothin'," I reply. "Just stayin' home ... With the family."
-
"What the hell took you so long to get here?" Melanie's stood on the other side of the door in a black skirt and crop top when I get to her mum's house. "I literally- We literally have just five hours until my mum and step-dad get back. I know that seems like ages but not for what I want to do."
It's good that she doesn't live with Ash and her dad and Ash's mum. Just visits.
Or maybe it's bad. Bad because I'm betraying my best friend, and her living away from him most of the time makes it easier to do that.
"Sorry," I mumble as she opens the door wider for me to come in. She leans up to kiss my cheek and I throw my jacket onto the banister. I had to go home to check on the girls and Dan before I came here. Everything seemed okay, and Dan was reading to Jess, but Stella looked like she'd had a crap day at school and I wished I could have stayed to talk to her about it.
"No!" Melanie exclaims suddenly, reaching a hand out. She quickly bites her lip. "I mean - Don't take your jacket off."
I watch as she grabs her long black coat from the hook beside her and then wraps her red scarf around her neck. She smiles a sweet sort of smile and then takes my hands in hers.
"We're going out."
I feel almost disappointed - I was hoping for a calm night in with her (as calm as possible) without venturing out into the cold night. But then again, I'm happy that she wants to spend time with me in other ways ... Maybe I'm not being used by girls as much as I thought I was.
"Where?" I ask as I take one hand away to grab my jacket again. After I pull it on she holds up a hand and runs upstairs. A few seconds later she comes rushing down, plus her bag.
"I thought we could go to the cinema. And eat somewhere," she tells me with strange, un-Melanian enthusiasm. She leans up to kiss me deeply, which I also wasn't expecting, before wrapping her arms around my neck and whispering, "Jack. I really like you. More than I've ever liked any other guy ... I want to do normal things with you instead of just messing around."
Forget Alyssa - she's unreachable. Melanie is the girl for me - for now, at least. And besides ... I should be grateful for what I do have.
I grin and pull her close to me, before kissing her lips gently. "I really like you too, Mel. I'm glad you said all that. C'mon, let's go."
We end up going to see Titanic in 3D - her choice of course. It lasts for fucking ages, and in my opinion the guy, Jack (unfortunate naming), in the film looks about fifteen and Rose looks about ten years older than him. But it doesn't matter because the film isn't that bad, and Kate Winslet is hot.
We go to eat at a small tapas bar and restaurant afterwards with the name 'La Tasca'. It's lit by massive low-hung chandeliers and candles dripping tons of wax on each table, with Spanish music rolling through the whole place. I've never been in here before but Melanie has because she knows exactly what to order for both of us. The food is good, but quite salty. And my mood is good - so great that while Melanie's in the bathroom I tell the waiter to bring her a surprise - a massive ice cream sundae with a big sparkler burning on top.
I think I see her blush when he appears with it a few minutes later, and as she begins to eat it and all the other customers stare, I think about how unexpected it was that a girl like her made me this happy.
"Hey, look!" Melanie nudges me with a laugh in the middle of our conversation. "That guy looks like he ordered his her one."
Turning around, I see a guy of around thirty sat with a woman who has the exact same thing I ordered for Melanie in front of her. When he sees us both looking, he nods and grins.
Turning back to Melanie I realise I haven't asked her about school yet. She's in her last year at Sixth Form, doing drama and English Lit, so she should be going to university next year. And hopefully, so should I. What I like about Melanie and I is that we're almost on the same level.
"How're you doing at Sixth Form then?" I ask her with a smile as I grab my spoon and slowly take some vanilla ice cream from her glass.
She smiles. "I'm loving it. I'm preparing for a group piece right now we have to do - it's quite fun. Because we're all pregnant women."
I laugh out loud and sit back in my seat, as she licks her lips.
"Oh well you're gonna have to let me watch this sometime."
"Ahuh, I'll get a video," she jokes. Then she shakes her head with a secretive smile. "No, unless you're a drama examiner, you're not gonna be seeing this one, I'm afraid."
I grin and shake my head, before leaning toward to take her hand. Absent mindedly I begin to trace patterns all over the back, and we both go silent.
"You can perform it for me sometime, how 'bout that?" I chuckle before looking up to meet her intense gaze. "Hey - are you okay?"
Melanie sighs out, before leaning over to press her lips against mine. "I'm fine," she mumbles, before leaning back slightly. "I was just wondering where we stand."
"Me too." I look down before squeezing her gentle fingers. "I just wish Ash wasn't gonna kill me if he found out."
"Maybe we should tell him. You never know ... What he'd say. Maybe he'd surprise us," she whispers softly.
"Maybe.." I whisper. Ha - yeah right. "Okay, but - lets just wait for a while."
Melanie nods in agreement with a slight hopeful smile at me before finishing off the rest of her ice cream. "We still have a couple of hours before my mum and step-dad get back ... Do you wanna ... Come back to mine?"
I catch her subtly seductive gaze then flip my wrist so I can see my watch. It's just past seven. I grin, and nod, and then take out some money and place it on the table. Melanie insisted on paying for the cinema so I'm paying for this. She giggles and then stands up, grabbing her coat before pulling me up with her.
-
Fifteen minutes later I'm practically falling into Melanie's room after her, and she keeps hold of my t-shirt as she slides onto the bed, pulling me with her. Then I watch as she slowly begins to undress - her top first, then her skirt, and she doesn't stop. Finally I pull her towards me and press her down against the mattress as she kisses me with ferocity, pulling at my clothes now.
It's sort of aggressive, but that's the way it is with a lot of these girls I get with. For some reason while I'm doing this with Melanie I suddenly try to imagine what it'd be like with Alyssa. I can't fucking help it - I know it's slightly perverted, and unfair on Mel. But I just can't help it.
For some reason, after I start to think about it, I can't stop. And another thing - I don't want to imagine Alyssa having sex with some guy. It just doesn't feel right. Even if it was that idiot boyfriend she had. If they did do it. It just feels wrong to think about that - Alyssa's just far too innocent.
-
At around nine I go back home, leaving Melanie before her parents get back. It's been a good day, but now I can't stop thinking about Alyssa. Fuck - why did I start thinking like that? Why did I send her away? I realise that I need her - maybe even more than she needs my rescuing services, and that's just embarrassing. I've tried to teach myself not to long for other people, not to seek comfort in other people.
Looks like it hasn't worked with her. I give myself great advice, but when it comes to Alyssa, I never follow it.
Dan tells me that Jess is asleep when I go back. After I check on her, I spot Stella's door fully shut and remember how she was when I saw her for the half hour before I went to Melanie's. I quickly go and knock on the door softly.
"Stella. It's Jack. I'm here," I mumble. I'm expecting her to not answer. I'm expecting her to tell me to go away. Not for her to open the door immediately and give me the biggest hug ever.
She does it completely silently. I quickly wrap my arms around her small frame as she holds onto my torso tightly, and that's when I realise she's crying.
"Stella. What's wrong?" I caress her little cheek and then pick her up, even though she's twelve. It doesn't matter - she's as light as a feather. I carry her into her room and sit her down on the bed, then reserve a seat next to her.
"I don't know," she replies, dragging a hand across her eyes to wipe away the tears. She sniffs. "I just ... I hate it here. I wanna go back home."
I sigh, pulling her close. "I know. That's how I feel sometimes too. But we've been here for ages now ... We can't just back out."
She looks up at me with her moss green eyes full of water, and then sobs, "I hate the kids at my school. I thought I liked them, but I don't ..."
I shake my head, and stroke her cheek. "Why?"
"They all ... They all just want to be better than each other. It's like there's some sort of unspoken competition. I thought I had friends but then I heard them talk about me behind my back, and ..."
"What about Ella?" I question with a frown.
"She's fine. But I just wish I had more friends," Stella complains, her shoulders shaking.
I sigh and hug her tight again, and kiss the top of her head. It's all too much for her and Jess, wondering where their parents are and having to put up with people. Just people in general - they can be a nightmare.
"Keep Ella close. I'm sure you'll make new friends soon - people change, but if they've been mean to you you need to drop them like a fly." I squeeze her tight, and she nods.
But then out of nowhere, she whispers, "I miss mum."
That's when I feel tears prick my own eyes, and I have to squeeze them shut so they don't drip out. I think she sees, because I feel her hold onto me tighter.
"I know. Me too, Stella," I whisper almost inaudibly.
Stella sniffs, and then mumbles. "I've been thinking - I hope heaven exists. I hope I'll get to meet her again ... Do you think we will?"
"O' course," I whisper, rubbing her arms comfortingly. "We will."
"It must be worse for you," she whispers to me thoughtfully, then wipes her eyes even though more tears keep flowing out. "You remember her more than me, and Dan, and Jess ..."
I shrug and try to clear my watery vision. "I don't know. I just wish she was here."
Stella curls into me and rests her head on my chest, her tears soaking the fabric of my shirt as she clings to it. And I kiss her hair and then lean against the wall, as she nods in agreement with me. I think we are both hoping the same thing - that Dan or Jess doesn't come in.
I look down at my sister and inhale deeply to calm my emotions. Or at least try to. "I love you, Stella," I mumble and stroke her back.
"Love you too, Jackie." She smiles ever so slightly through her tears, and hugs me tighter, and after that I think we both fall asleep.
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SORRY this was sort of CRAP - I am writing the next chapter now and trust me, it's way better ;)
Anyway - comment, vote, fan, add to your library, etc , ;) Please. I love you. Thanks for reading.