Nessa's POV
"are you sure you want to change his diaper?" I ask ace who doesn't seem to want to do it but is doing it anyway.
"go rest, I will take care of him." is his only reply as he motions to the bed.
in all honesty, I am tired. I've been up all night with leo because he had a stomachache.
nodding, I go to the bed and lay down. A part of me wants to sleep but the other wants to watch my handsome husband take care of our third kid.
choosing to rest because I have a lifetime to watch him I close my eyes, not even a second later I open them and give in into my inner self.
I watch as he frowns whenever leo kicks him, smiles when leo babbles, and scrunches his nose once he opens the diaper.
he had changed diapers before, more than I can count...but he always reacts as if it's the first time.
he is a good father to our kids and a good husband to me.
which brings me to his birthday present, it's tomorrow.
he managed to get over his hate for his birthday over the years. he's still tense when the day comes around but more relaxed than his first birthday together.
I usually give him non-gifts gifts because he made it clear he doesn't want any presents , things like a weekend for just me and him, a night out together, and this year a baby.
his birthday is just an addition to it, I was thinking about how enzo had andrea growing up and leo is almost as old as enzo when I had andrea.
it's time to give him a sister or a brother to grow up with.
enzo and andrea began asking me if the baby fairy answered about giving them a sister and I myself am ready to have another baby.
a final baby.
I began thinking about this about 9 months ago, cancelled my birth control appointment 7 months ago and confirmed that I'm pregnant a week ago.
I don't know how far I am but I know it's less than 2 months because I took a pregnancy test every 2 months and the last one was negative.
I didn't tell ace about the appointment cancellation or the pregnancy yet.
I wanted it to be a surprise and it happening around his birthday is a really good timing.
I plan on telling him today so we can all go to get an ultrasound tomorrow.
losing track of time, I find my thoughts mixing up with my reality and soon complete darkness.
-ꙬꙬꙬꙬꙬꙬꙬꙬꙬ
waking up after my long nap, the first thing I do is look around the dark room that only feels bright when I am surrounded by my loved ones.
I get up from my bed and walk to the bathroom to freshen up with my mind made up. I'm telling him right now not over dinner.
I leave the bathroom then the room feeling like my heart is about to come out of my chest from excitement.
walking to his office where he's probably working as fast as my feet can carry me proved to be a struggle because no speed could beat the one I want to have or how fast I want to reach his office.
once I do, I stand outside trying to catch my breath and find a way to tell him because if I get in right now I will be a smiling mess and won't be able to say a word.
taking a deep breath in I smile and place my hand on the door knob ready to get in but stop when I hear his deep voice.
"trust me man, you don't want to get married. it's a lot of shit and it can get suffocating."
"yeah, sometimes I feel like running away. the kids drive me crazy." he says again cutting some of my confusion.
he thinks our marriage is suffocating and our kids drive him crazy?
that's news to me because he never showed any of what he just said and about the kids....he's the one staying up at night to finish his work so he can spend time with them in the morning.
I don't understand any of this.
"they cry for stupid reasons. like yesterday, enzo was crying because leo said andrea and not enzo.".
he's a kid, does he expect him to not cry when he feels like he wants to?
I look down at my stomach feeling my heart shatter a little. he always showed his support when any of them cried and now it's a problem?
my eyes water on their own and I feel as if.. as if he ripped my heart out of my chest. his words hurt but I won't let my ears fool me, we will have to talk about this later.
the power of words is like no other, it could both build and destroy and the only key is clarification which also means communication.
if he really feels this way about our marriage and kids, there isn't much I can do.
if I somehow misunderstood this which I hope and pray I did then it's nothing to worry about.
"enjoy your single life, go out and party. you can only dream of doing so when you're married. the most fun I have these days is a movie night." is the last thing I hear before leaving to our room.
I know there is an explanation, there has to be.
this isn't any other man, this is ace...my husband.
I walk in our room feeling as if my heart is slowly dragging me down from the weight of his words but again, he wouldn't want another baby if he truly felt that way right?
he wouldn't do his best to spend most of his time with us.
what if he just started getting bored?
tossing that thought aside, a genuine smile takes over my face when I see andrea giving orders to enzo and leo.
what if what you heard is true? would he not want the baby? would he snap and get mad because I didn't talk to him about it?
I didn't because he always said he wants more and more whenever I'm ready.
"mommy, look what I taught leo" andrea squeals as she make a silly face to leo, not a second later he closes his eyes and flashes us with a toothy smile.
I smile again and just as I'm about to walk to the bed, large arms wrap themselves around my waist causing me to stiff.
the weight of his words brings me down again making me feel as if my entire body is trembling and maybe it is, but the possibility that I might've misunderstood brings me back up.
I have to ask him and talk about it.
however the kids are here and we can't talk about something that might make me upset or cry because god knows how much I will ball my eyes out just trying to ask him let alone his words be true.
enzo and andrea get extremely upset whenever I cry and even if they don't I wouldn't want them to get mixed up in this.
me and ace always had control over our argument, not that they were many.
most of them were about him beating men up for trying to flirt with me but this is different.
this hurts, that made me mad.
A soft kiss brings me out of my trance and I push myself to act normal, he would question me if he sensed anything wrong.
so with a heavy heart, I turn around and give him a half fake smile before taking a step back. that smile couldn't have been fully fake even if I wanted it to be.
the way he looks at me makes me feel loved like I have never been. he makes my insides turn and makes me feel as if I can't breathe.
it's like I love him too much to focus on getting air into my lungs and wasting that milli-second doing so rather than feeling his love and loving him.
which is why the idea of him getting bored of what we have makes my heart shatter and scares the shit out of me.
I never even thought about it until today after hearing what I heard.
"no hello kiss?" aska grabbing my waist again.
"how come you told me not to kiss liam on the cheeks but you always kiss mommy?" andrea frowns looking at us now.
(william's nickname AKA sofie's son)
despite the hurt I'm feeling that made me laugh, she has a huge crush on liam and you'd think me and sofie are crazy if you saw the way we look at them when they play together.
"mommy is my wife, and you're not allowed to have a boyfriend or a husband till you turn 20" ace replies causing andrea to pout.
I usually argue with him but my confusion now is beyond that.
I want an explanation more than before because he's totally normal, it's confusing me.
probably sensing my discomfort he asks "is everything okay?", I nod not wanting to talk about it now and sit on the bed next to andrea and leo.
enzo crawls to me and hugs me tightly, physical affection is this boy's love language.
I hug him back and ask "how was school?", he smiles immediately" a girl called me handsome.".
I smile back "and what did you say?".
"I told her she was beautiful and that I liked her freckles.".
I hug him tighter and kiss the top of his head then extend my arm for andrea to join us.
growing up my mom wasn't very affectionate, she hardly hugged me and mostly spent her time out but when she no longer had friends and it was just me her, and my baby siblings at 15, she began trying but I was already used to not being touchy when it came to her.
it was awkward more than comforting and it only made me feel on edge.
that's why I give enzo, andrea, leo, and soon this baby all the love I have.
andrea joins with a smile and leo crawls to me too.
ace joins too but unlike every other time, this made me feel a bit uneasy. I try relax for the sake of our kids and the sake of me misunderstanding his words but I might've failed because he pulls away and looks at me with a frown.
"enzo, take leo and andrea downstairs and tell erika to give you the cake I got." ace says gently but his tone is off.
andrea squeals and jumps on him thanking him for the cake, she's a sweet tooth and this is her reaction whenever ace gets something sweet which is almost everyday because he loves her reaction and enjoys taunting me about him being her favorite parent.
enzo nods before giving both me and ace a kiss on the cheek, he carries leo and holds andrea's hand then leaves.
he's such a good brother. in fact all of them are good for each other and I'm so proud of the way I raised them.
I would normally go with them and cake sounds like heaven at the moment despite everything but the frown on ace's face before that smile he gave enzo shows me the purpose of him telling them to go.
"is everything okay? you don't seem so good." he asks carefully.
I look down trying not to tear up because the thought of him saying those things alone makes my heart physically hurt.
almost all of me is sure he would never say those thing but what if what I heard is true?
I clear my throat to try and sound as collected as possible "I went to your office a bit ago to tell you something and heard you say some things to someone on the phone. I don't know if what I heard wasn't everything but you said marriage i suffocating, our kids drive you crazy and make you want to run away, they cry for stupid reasons and that you don't have fun anymore.".
"you thin those things are true?" he asks making the lump in my throat grow thicker burning it.
he didn't deny it...
"I don't know...I mean I thought we were fine, you never showed any signs of what you said but-" he cuts me off.
"there is no but, what you said and heard is true. I did say those things and yes we were fine-" he stops mid sentence as my eyes get glossy and my heart shatters at his words.
he pulls me into his chest but im too hurt and too tense to feel any comfort.
"yes I said those things but I didn't mean any of them, me and austin were messing with tristan. I would never mean anything like that about you, our marriage or our kids.".
his voice calms me down and undo the knots his words created in my heart.
(incase you don't know tristan is a character from the chase.)
placing a kiss on my forehead he tightens his hold on me and says "don't ever think I will ever feel that way about you, you're my everything.".
I nod and hug him back feeling relieved that it was a misunderstanding.
"what did you want to tell me?" he asks after a bit of silence.
"it's more like a confession." I say tracing random patterns on his chest.
"alright." he urges me to speak.
"I've been hiding something, actually someone from you for a week now." I confess vaguely to slowly tell him and not just drop it.
his body tenses but he says "are you going to tell me who and why?".
I nod and take his hand, I place it on my stomach and say "our 4th baby.".
he freezes and I can tell because even his breathing stops for a few seconds.
"are you okay?" I ask pulling away to look at him but he pulls me back and both, shuts me up and answers my question with a bruising kiss that sends tingles all over my body.
"how far are you?" he asks cupping my face and looking at me with a smile so big it makes my heart swell.
"I don't know but not more than two months." I answer with a smile of my own.
he pulls me for a tight hug with a mixture of i love yous and thank yous replacing every ounce of sadness I felt about 10 minutes ago.
younger me would pass out from happiness if I could ever tell her that we made it.
an
me: that's it "the unwanted claim" is my last book, writing take a lot of time.
also me a month later: uhmm writing a bonus chapter seems like a good idea.
this is the 4th chapter out of 5 and then I will start with the chase for those of you who are wondering.
have a good day/night wherever you are<3