Word Count: 1960
Warnings: sh & d3ath
‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ☠ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ☠ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ☠ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ☠ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊
I look down at my feet, tears rolling down my face. "Please" I sob, "fix this". I shake my head and look back up, smiling, "thanks".
I walk along the street to school. If you don't hurry up you'll be late. I laugh and start walking faster, "no one would miss me if I just didn't turn up". I would. "You can't ever leave me". Well, if I could, I would miss you. I look around at all the other people talking to 'themselves', I notice someone glancing at me and smile at them, they roll their eyes and say something, probably an insult. I stop and screw my eyes shut, "hey, please get rid of this" I ask softly. I look up, expecting happiness and meaning but all I feel is sad and alone. "Hello? Please fix this". I look around, expecting to see someone who will tell me that this was just a small test and for happiness to come back, but no one walks up to me, and happiness is still out of reach. I start to feel rising anger, "fix this" I spit the words out aggressively. Ok, ok, be patient. As soon as I hear her voice calmness regains and I walk on. Maybe you should skip school. I shake my head, "no way". Why not? You said it yourself, no one would miss you. I think about it, "not even dad would miss me". Exactly, the only one who cares about you is right here. I ponder, feeling rebellious and independent, "let's do this". I can practically feel her nodding, good.
I climb in through the back window and stuff a backpack with anything of sentimental value in and walk towards the window, so close to freedom. "Ah" I hear myself gasp. I frown in confusion. I try to take another step but my feet just won't move. "Dad!" I yell. Wait. No. I didn't yell that, I certainly didn't want to. Dad comes storming into my room buzzing with anger. "What the hell are you doing here!" He yells angrily. "I-I" I stutter but just can't find the words. He shakes his head, calmness surrounding him. "Go sit on the couch, I need to make a call" he commands and walks out. I sigh, "that was close". Yes, it was. I walk to the couch and fall onto it. An ad for AI implants flashes onto the screen 'a trustworthy friend that will always have your back' the spokesman says happily, 'you'll never be sad again' a cheery woman says. I roll my eyes. What was that. "Nothing" I whisper. It didn't seem like nothing to me. I shake my head, "whatever". "Get up" Dad bellows from behind me. I swallow thickly and get up. "Why were you here?" He asks. "I was-" I start but am cut off, "was going to steal everything you love and then disappear" I finish. My eyes widen. Dad's face curls up in rage, "WHAT. THE. HELL." he looks down, and then back up. A tear rolls down my cheek. He points to my room, I walk in there obeying him, it's not like I want a broken bone.
I lie on my bed, crying uncontrollably, with every breath I beg for these terrible feelings to be forgotten, with every breath I beg for serenity, but she does nothing. Are you quite done yet? I feel her irritation. HOW THE HELL IS SHE IRRITATED! Woah, no need to throw a tantrum. I close my eyes and curl up into a ball, remembering that video. I block off my thoughts, I block her out. I think it's working. I sigh in relief and open my eyes. That was pathetic. I screw my eyes shut and take a deep breath, stop crying. I try again, focussing harder this time, pushing her away with more force. Good, yes that will definit... I feel her fading out. I grin, I've never been so happy. Wait. Concentrate, lose focus and she'll come back, lose focus and you won't be able to make a plan. I try to think back to that video, that random, 'stupid' - as dad said - video. Where did the man come from. I think so hard my head hurts and I feel her creeping back in. I push her back away and smile, how evil of me. I laugh at that, the first time I've ever laughed without her helping me. Cross St! That's where he is! That's where I'm going! I jump up, open my eyes and do a little dance. That's dorky, so where are we going exactly? I stop dancing and freeze, but still smile, I blocked her out! I feel her familiar irritation and laugh. You're stupid and I'm going to make life miserable. She laughs like a witch in the movies. I turn pale, I didn't know she could laugh.
I lie in my bed, almost midnight. Tears drench my blanket, blood drips onto my pillow cover. I didn't know she'd make things this bad. I replay it in my head. The loneliness and the meaninglessness had rushed me, I was unguarded and vulnerable, I had cut myself and she had made me watch myself bleed, I could feel her enjoyment the whole time. I savour the silence, the noise of the blood dripping, the numbness in my feet, if I didn't leave now, she'd torture me for the rest of my life, and no one would care. I sit up. You could've at least tried to go to sleep, you know, for laughs. I groan and step out of bed. I pull on my shoes and grab my backpack. Going somewhere, are we? I try not to think about where I'm going, I stop myself from thinking of anything that isn't my newfound hate for her. Someone should stop thinking such violent thoughts. I pull my window open and climb out, still not thinking about the destination, but reminding her about how much of a robotic witch she is. A robotic witch, that's so very creative.
I walk down the dimly lit street looking for apartment D6. I walk up to the door. I take a deep breath and reach up to knock on the door. That's a stupid idea. "You don't even know who's on the other side of the door" I whisper spitefully. Oh, but I do. I feel her pleasure as I realise I haven't knocked yet. Dave Cormay, 26, brown hair, green eyes and, oh! He's an AI rebel, well isn't that something. I clench my fist and bang on the door. I stand there for a moment, alone with my thoughts. Wait. No. Not alone, she's still there. I shake my head as a man in a top and ripped jeans opens the door. "Hey? Kid?" He says, his voice soft and concerned. I look up and realise that she's making me smile like some maniac. "Um, are you ok?" He reaches for my shoulder, I pull his arm back and rap my hands around his neck. Isn't this fun. I look up at him, tears blocking my vision, "help". You're never going to learn, are you? I let go and fall to the ground crying, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" I repeat over and over again, sobbing. His face shows sympathy as he says, "it's okay, come on in" he says and grabs my hand to pull me up cautiously.
"Wow" he says processing everything, "so you're AI's gained independence?". I nod "yea". He nods as well, "so-". "Dummy" she makes me laugh. He completely dismisses that, knowing she made me say it. He's nice like that, he got used to it really quickly. Maybe you should kill your dad, become an orphan, then this charming idiot can be your dad. I laugh, I actually laugh at that, the stupidity of that, the utter nonsense. "I can help you, but it will hurt, and you'll be a new person" he explains. I process this carefully, a new person. You, a new person, isn't there already one too many of you? That laugh, that cackle, I just can't take it. "Do it, fix me, change me, just get rid of her" I say, sure of my decision. Rushing into this a bit, don't you think? "Ok" he says, "come with me". We walk into a dark room with a seemingly uncomfortable chair. "Do I sit there?" I ask dumbly. "Yea" he says and walks out of the room to get something. I sit down and wait. If this is the last time I talk to you, well... it won't be, trust me. I'm indestructible. He walks back in holding some kind of knife. I sink into the chair and turn pale. He laughs quietly, "it's ok kid, the knife is the part that hurts the least". That's just great. Come on, be positive, in the afterlife you'll be the only one who trusted their life with a stranger with a knife who claimed they were going to get rid of your AI, how very unique that is. I take a deep breath and look up to see him walking towards me with the knife. "It'll be ok, I did this to myself, and look, I'm fine" he says nicely and smiles reassuringly. I nod and close my eyes. You know what's nice about this, I don't feel your pain, now isn't that something. I feel her grin as I plummet into nothing but pain.
Pain. That's what has enveloped me, what's given me meaning for the past hours, sorrow and suffering. I couldn't hear anything anymore, I couldn't even hear her. All she said was mumbles, it was nice. I could feel sparks of electricity and jabs of needles and numbness, all bundled into one, terrifying, foreign experience. Too scared to open my eyes, too scared to move. I say something, I think I asked how much longer this will take. "Done", I hear loud and clearly which makes me jump and fall out of my seat. I sit there, on the ground, waiting for a rude remark or a snarky insult. I grin widely and push myself up to give him the tightest hug ever, "thank you".
He explains everything, possible side effects, the fact that my emotions might intensify, but I don't care about any of that, I'm free. I grab my backpack and walk out the door. I walk onto the street, free, actually alone with my thoughts. I look back and smile. His face looks concerned, he's frowning, why? I feel dizzy, I lose control of my limbs. I fall to the ground and he runs out onto the street. My mouth is dry, my throat is sore. I feel him try to keep me stable but I can't stand. Guess who never actually left? I grimace, I hate you. The world blurs. "No, don't. Just hold on, I'll get you help" he says, worried. "It's ok" I croak, "this isn't your fault". I see his blurry head shake, "no, please, help is coming". "No, it isn't, you just met me and you're the only one who cares about me, no one's coming". "I'm sorry, it must've been luck when I disabled my AI, I'm so sorry". I smile sadly, "if anyone cares enough to look through my AI to find out how I died, I want it to be clear. I, Charlie Parker was not tortured by this man, nor killed, he found me lying in the street and tried to help. My cause of death was not natural, in fact, my AI willingly killed me". That silence, she doesn't have a comeback, in my final seconds, I've beaten her. Now that's something.
‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ☠ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ☠ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ☠ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ☠ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊