*A/N-So here's another chapter! I hope y'all like it. This one's not going to be as long, but please let me know if you guys like it my commenting your opinions, voting and fanning!! Love y'all! <33
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“Wake up, Brittany Nicole Conoway. Now,” my mother’s angry voice in my ear woke me up immediately. I sat up quickly, suddenly overcome with a wave of nausea. Ignoring my mom on the bed, I sprinted to the bathroom, flipped up the lid, and threw up everything that was left in my stomach.
I felt a hand in my hair, pulling up into a ponytail. When I was finished, my wonderful mother handed me a damp towel, which I pressed to my sweaty forehead. I leaned against the bathtub and flushed the toilet.
I stared up at my mom through my hazy vision. I had fallen asleep in my contacts, so they were extremely sticky and blurry. “Get up,” she ordered, gripping my upper arm firmly and helping me up. I stumbled to my feet, grasping the bathroom counter for support.
“What happened?” I croaked, my throat sore for some reason. I couldn’t remember what I had done the night before. Why did I feel so bad? It almost felt like a hangover-
“You were arrested last night for underage drinking. Do you know what this means, Brittany?” my mother growled angrily. Her grip was still tight on my arm.
“What?” I practically screamed, and the acid in my stomach threatened to make an appearance at my mother’s words. I had gotten arrested? Shit, that would go on my permanent record. I silently cursed Kate and James for forcing me to the party. A sly voice in the back of mind whispered, You volunteered. But I ignored it. I couldn’t listen to it now, not with the disappointment of my mother staring me straight in the face.
The blurry, hazy memories rushed back to my brain, making me dizzy. I had had two shots of tequila after making out with James in front of practically the whole high school. Then probably some more beer, but I couldn’t remember much after that. I vaguely remembered seeing Lucas at the party. Fury towards him made my stomach churn. Why hadn’t he taken me home before I was arrested? I guessed after what happened at the school he didn’t care much for me. Besides, why should he care about me? We weren’t really friends. Not in public, at least.
My mother’s defeated sigh brought me back to reality. “Are you even listening to me, Brittany?”
“Sorry,” I murmured, squinting my eyes to get a better view of her, even though I didn’t want to see the disappointment in her eyes.
“This is going on your permanent record. A misdemeanor. And we have to pay a fine of $500. Thank God you weren’t driving or it could have been worse,” Mom sighed again, “Why would you do something like this Brittany? Especially at a time like this?” My mom left her questions hang in the air between us. Guilt consumed me like fire. I hadn’t meant to do this to my parents. I knew the severity of David’s cancer. I hadn’t meant to put more stress in their life.
“I’m sorry, Mom,” I whispered, tears burning my already swollen eyes. The contacts were really messing with them. “I didn’t think-”
“That’s right. You didn’t think. I always thought you would think before you did something like this, Brittany, but I guess I was wrong. Take your contacts out and get ready. We’re going over to the Reeds’ house in twenty minutes.” Without waiting for a reply, my mother stormed out of the bathroom. But she didn’t turn away quick enough. I saw the tears in her eyes, the way her skin looked taught and pale.
My fault.
I sank back against the bathtub, my knees going weak. The wet cloth fell from my hands and onto the ground. A headache had begun to form since the moment I woke up, and had finally grown into a raging tornado, threatening to destroy every sane piece of thought in my mind.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, I pulled myself up, not wanting to think about who I was going to see in less than fifteen minutes. I wouldn’t even think of his name. Taking out my contacts, I felt betrayal towards the green eyed boy. He left me? Just like James and Kate. I hadn’t realized what an asshole he was and had been up until this moment. I had always been too blinded by his dazzling exterior and that tiny flash of goodness I would see in him when we were alone.
At least with Kate and James I should have seen something like this coming. They were big cowards. They would never have tried to go back for me. I was blindsided by the fact that Lucas hadn’t even thought about going back for me.
Tears formed in my eyes, spilling onto my cheeks as I put my glasses on my face. I blinked to clear my vision. My eyes burned painfully from the stupid contacts I had left in overnight.
I had no friends.
No one had even thought about the nerdy girl who didn’t talk much at school. No one had tried to save me. No one even thought about me because I didn’t matter. There were more important people, more important things than being nice to a shy girl. Apparently that was people like Lucas’ philosophy.
I changed out of my clothes from the night before, and seeing the state of my makeup, washed it all off, including the mascara that had been smeared and smudged all over my face.
By the time I was done, my mom called through my door, “Let’s go.” There wasn’t much emotion in her voice. I sighed, not daring to look at myself in the mirror. I already knew what I looked like. My eyes were bloodshot, my face pale with patches of red from crying. I was in a t-shirt, sports bra, and jeans. My hair was hastily thrown up in a ponytail.
Normally, I would have “gussied up” when visiting the Reeds, but I honestly had no one to impress. Not David and Trisha. And damn sure not their son.
It was a ten minute drive to their house. The car ride over was a silent. I couldn’t look either of my parents in the eye. My dad’s hands were so tight on the wheel, his knuckles had turned white. His forehead was creased, and his eyes were dark and unreadable. I stared at the casserole in my lap the entire way over.
When we arrived, Trisha Reed welcomed us with open arms. “Rachel,” she beamed, her face lighting up as she wrapped her arms around my mother. “Robbie,” she said affectionately, hugging him as well. When she got to me, her smile faltered, her brows pulling together in confusion. She examined my face, but thankfully, didn’t ask what was wrong. She gave me a hug even though I was carrying the dish my mom had made for the Reeds.
She stepped back, taking the food from me. “Oh, Rach, what’s this?” she asked in surprise, looking down at the foil wrapped glassware.
“Chicken casserole. I know David loves it, so I thought we could maybe have some for lunch,” Mom replied. I watched my dad leave the hallway, disappearing into David and Trisha’s room.
The moms continued chattering about lunch, faking happiness. I didn’t like it. I was tired of faking. I stalked into the kitchen, planning on sitting in one of the barstools at the counter to wait for my parents.
But instead, I ran into a hard chest, making myself stumble back. Strong hands gripped my arms, steadying me. My gaze shot up to what I knew would be sea-green eyes.
“Fuck, sorry,” Lucas murmured, jerking his hands away from me as if I had burned him. He didn’t look like crap. His hair was fine. His eyes weren’t bloodshot. He wore a crisp white t-shirt and low slung jeans. He didn’t look like he had a hangover. But then again, he probably had more practice at hiding it than I did.
“Whatever,” I grumbled, pushing past him and seating myself on a barstool. No more politeness from Brittany Conoway. I was tired of being nice. Tired of letting people walk all over me and then coming back to stomp on me a few more times for good measure.
“Whoa, damn, sorry,” Lucas snorted, trying to make me feel guilt for acting rude towards him. Like he hadn’t been rude to me every freaking day of my life when he had been here. I thought back now to those times, realizing how naive I had been. I had always made excuses for his selfish, mean ways.
No more excuses for Mr. Lucas Reed.
I waited in the kitchen alone, until everyone entered a few minutes later. My eyes widened as I caught sight of David, looking tired and pale, with the help of Trisha, walk into the room. She helped him over to the kitchen table, and he shakily pulled the chair back and sat. He looked like he had aged ten years.
But when his gaze met mine, his eyes lit up. Lucas was a spitting image of him, except for the eyes, those were Trisha’s. “Brittany, I didn’t know you were here.”
I smiled back at him, and hurried over to give him a hug. He always gave me bear hugs, the best kind. I pulled back from him, but he kept his hands on my elbows, so I was crouched slightly. “How’re you doing, sweetheart?”
“Good, Mr. Reed,” I replied, feeling my lips hitch up into an ironic grin. Good was not what I would consider how my life was at the moment, but I wasn’t about to elaborate on that.
David rolled his eyes. “Quit with the formalities, Brit. You’ve called me Dave your whole life. Don’t stop now that I’m dying,” he said lightly, with a little chuckle at the end. I stared at him in astonishment. The room had gone quiet. I dared not look back at everyone else, fearing I would see anguish in every one of their faces.
“Okay, Dave,” I replied playfully, trying to disguise the stiffness in my voice. David pulled me into another hug, chuckling in my ear.
“You were always my favorite,” he said jokingly, loud enough for every one else to hear. I laughed along with him.
But when I turned towards the others, I detected the pain in Trisha’s posture as she continued to cook lunch. Lucas had disappeared. My parents were watching me with hurt in their eyes, as if it were my fault David was dying.
It seemed to me that the only person who didn’t blame me for something was dying.