(First Week of November)
Don't you just love Sundays? The night before, you party hard or maybe partied soft. Even if you didn't party at all your major activities were packed into Saturday. On Sunday you wake up with no regrets because you actually did something Saturday. Sundays are just fucking amazing, aren't they?
That's what I think as I'm woken up from sun rays blasting through my room, only to find out it's not my room. As my eyes trace the lines of Micah's face, and rolled up in his blanket naked, our Saturday... activities shoot through my mind and surprisingly I have no regrets at all.
It started Saturday morning...
Saturday morning
I was woken up out of my very good sleep by Landon. He was going on and on about how he wanted to be at the mall early because he wanted to watch a movie that's coming out and he doesn't want to see spoilers so instead of waiting until tonight like a sane person, he woke my ass up at 8 in the morning ON A SATURDAY to go to the damn movies. The whole time I'm trying to figure out why didn't he just go watch the movie yesterday when we got out of school but then I remembered he went to dinner with a few of his siblings so I guess he didn't really have time.
We've been going to his parents for Sunday dinner for the last couple of weeks and it's been seeming to be a "better with time" situation... Well at least when it comes to his parents. He and his siblings have been mending their relationship pretty good and I couldn't be happier. When he first brought it to me that he wanted a better relationship with them, I told him I had no problem at all with it, just don't forget me. He almost slapped the shit out of me and was mad at me for an hour. He came back to my room and told me that he could never forget me and I would never be replaced. We cried a little, hugged a little, and laughed a lot, but in the back of my mind what I felt could come from this I prayed didn't. Landon was my best friend and my brother. I'm happy for him reconnecting with family, but he and his siblings share something that we don't. And I'm scared that when it comes down to it, he would pick blood over water.
After the movies we went out for breakfast with mom. She didn't feel like going to the movies and she didn't feel like cooking either. While we were at the movies she went grocery shopping and apparently had a good little time doing so. She met some cute guy when she was going to reach for something and couldn't. They exchanged numbers, after my mom gave him the run around, and he already asked her on a date. She's been floating ever sense.
After breakfast we went to Hobby Lobby to look for Christmas decorations. Mom said she wanted a Winter Wonderland theme this year and I was definitely on board. After filling up 2 baskets with stuff we were on our way out of there. When we got back home Mom was nap ready and Landon was in the shower getting ready to go out with his siblings again. They were going to a theme park with his nieces and nephews and he was so excited to be invited. They had bought him a ticket and everything.
After Landon left, mom woke up from her nap and informed me that her date with Mr. Man was tonight and then she jetted off to get ready. It dawned on me that I was going to be alone tonight and I was ok with that. My night was going to consist of watching the Transformers movies and eating stuffed crust pizza with marinara sauce. I was a little excited.
Everyone had left and my pizza was on its way to me. I set myself up in the living room because the biggest TV was in there. I went to the movie and paused it until my pizza came. 20 minutes later I was eating pizza and looking at Shia LaBeouf.
Micah had texted me asking what I was doing and I told him I was watching Transformers and eating pizza. He had a pretty busy day himself. They had practice early this morning, I hate going to Saturday morning practices so I don't go. He was hanging with Mason afterwards. They had went to the mall with some of the other guys on the team, went to the movies, out to eat, then bowling to kill some time. Then he was saying how he was bored and Mason was taking Corey on a date so he wanted to come over. I told him I'd come to his house instead. I went to his house taking the rest of the pizza I had got that he devoured. We watched The Avengers and I was simply stating how Chris Evans could bend me over a couch and and pound me into another galaxy and well... Micah bent me over the couch. I was low key scared that his parents would come into the house at any minute but they didn't thank God. They were on a little date night.
~~~~
So basically because of Chris Evans I got in trouble... good trouble but still trouble. I regret nothing and I still stand on what I said. If we're going to be honest... if Chris Evans asked me to leave my relationship and be with him...I would do it in a heartbeat. Would I ever tell Micah that... HELL NO! He's crazy and after I tell him that he will knock me out and I will wake up in a cabin in the middle of the woods and no idea what city or state I'm in.
I stared at Micah's sleeping face in admiration. I'm happy we're working on our relationship but sometimes... I get scared that things will go back to the way they were and I'll only have myself to blame at that point.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"YOU WILL ALWAYS BE APART OF MEEEE... I AM PART OF YOU INDEFINITELY... GIRL DON'T YOU KNOW YOU CANT ESCAPE MEEE... OOH DARLING CAUSE YOU'LL ALWAYS BE MY BABAAY..." I laughed as Micah sung Always Be My Baby to me in the car. Today was a nice day and for some reason Micah wanted to go to the beach, so I decided to just tag along with him... not that he was giving me much of a choice.
It's November and though the beach is cool, it has to be cold as hell. Today the sun is out so it won't look too bad.
"So, you got any plans for your birthday?" He asked after the song ended and he sung to the top of his lungs the entire time. It was one of our favorite songs and he's always wanted to dub it as our song.
"Ummm not really. Probably will end up going out to eat or something. I don't really want to do anything big anyways." I said shrugging my shoulders and drinking my 7/11 slurpee.
"Well I'm gonna take you out." He said. I was kind of surprised but I covered it up quickly. For past birthdays he would come by drop off a gift, spend a couple of hours with me at home, and then leave, so him wanting to "take me out" is kind of new, for us.
"Oh wow really?" I said looking at the side of his face. He looked at me quickly and gave me a 'what the hell' look before looking back at the road.
"Yes girl really, ain't that what I just said." He said laughing a little.
"Well then.... I'll be looking forward to it." I said with a smile on my face.
"You excited about your favorite time of the year?" He asked. I loved the fall and winter. My birthday is in the beginning of November, Thanksgiving is after that, and Christmas is after. Not to mention we get two breaks from school. I loved the end of the year.
"I'm always excited about this time of the year. I've been Christmas shopping like crazy and I'm running out of places to put my gifts. On top of that I've agreed to take over some things for Thanksgiving." I said.
"I thought you already helped your mom on Thanksgiving." He said confused.
"I do, but this year I'm doing it kind of without her help. I'm not doing everything just a couple of things." I said shrugging my shoulders.
"Well after we win this championship, the team has that senior trip." He said.
"You are so confident that you guys are gonna win." I said smirking at him.
"Of course we're gonna win. We the shit. Top 5 high school team in the country shit, haven't lost a championship in the last 3 years shit." He boasted. He was talking like I didn't know or havent been to any of the games.
"Micah... why are you talking like I'm not aware of that. I'm just saying don't get too proud, don't boast too much, and don't count anybody out." I said looking at the side of his face.
"I understand that but I know my team is good. We got good coaches, good players, and a great you. We got this. And I refuse to let my senior year be the year I lose the championship." He said seriously.
"You figure out what your college plans are gonna be?" I asked.
"I'm almost done sending out applications. I'm kind of nervous for the results though. I'm hoping I get accepted but I know it's gone be a lot of stress. I mean I know im getting accepted into most of the ones I applied to because of football but I just don't want to be under the stress of having to pick between the schools. I don't wanna make the wrong choice." He vented. With him playing like a champ and acting like a captain, scouts were head over heels for him. They felt he could be the next big thing for college football and even the NFL. He wasn't sure if he wanted the NFL to be his career choice but I knew he wanted it to. He loves football and doesnt want to give it up for anyone or anything. If his chances in football were somehow trashed, he would hop over to basketball. He's great at both of them.
"Well we'll cross that bridge when we get there. I know you'll make the right choice and you have people to help you along the way." I said rubbing his hand that rested on my thigh.
"Yeah I guess you're right." He said looking at me.
We had made it to the beach and got everything we needed out of the car. We bought a blanket, an umbrella, food, a cooler for the food and for me to lean on, and a game or two to keep us occupied.
I texted my mom telling her I was at the beach with Micah and I would be back home in time for dinner. And I texted Landon to tell him that I'm ok and I'm not laying in a ditch somewhere.
We chilled and watched the waves come in. We watched families play with each other and jump around in the water.
"You think that would ever be us?" He asked me. We were comfortable on our blanket, I was leaning on the cooler and he was in between my legs leaning on me.
"Ummm I don't know Micah, I don't think I'll turn into a white woman in this life time." I said making the both of us laugh.
"No crazy, the whole family. Do you think we'll be able to do the whole family thing?" He said still looking at them. If I knew one thing about Micah, is that he wanted a baby. For some reason the man acted like he was running out of time. I tell him all of the time that we have plenty of time for kids in the future. What the hell are we going to do with a baby and we're both seniors in high school and have futures to look forward too. Plans that don't include a whole entire human that we have to raise. Sometimes I think the man is trynna trap me.
"Well... I don't know the future but if the cards handed to us are in our favor, then one day we will do the family thing." I told him honestly.
"Good cause I don't want to do that shit with nobody else." He said looking away from the family.
"Micah you can't say that. What if we don't work out in the future. You can't reserve your life to one person. I'm not saying that we absolutely won't have a future but you never know what the future holds. I love you and there's no questions or doubt about it but I love you enough to keep it real with you and be honest with you." I said looking down at him.
It feels like lately that's a conversation we've been having. He's been trying to solidify our future and I've been telling him not to because you never know. Maybe that has to do with me still being on the fence about us. I used to agree and even plan for out future but I've had to get realistic, especially with the way he was acting. I can't sit my future on that.
"Look... no more future talk. No more kid talk. No more marriage talk. No more none of that. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't it doesn't. As long as we really love each other at the end of the day then we know it will last however long we allow it. We don't need to be thinking about marriage or kids right now anyways right now. We have bright futures ahead of us and we have time to do whatever we want before eventually deciding to start a family or anything." I said grabbing his chin and making him look at me.
"Ok... fine.. fine. I won't bring it up anymore. I just want you to know that I see you in my future. I know I've been an dumbass but I was so close to losing you. For some time, I didn't see that future. I just knew that you weren't gonna take me back. I was convinced. I just be wanting you to know that I see that future with you and the shit is beautiful to me and I want it. I love you more than my words can say and I don't ever want you to doubt that. I know we're young but I know what I want. No matter what I'm doing in the future, I want you there with me. Every step of the way." He said sincerely. So sincere it made me smile. I leaned down and kissed him and in this moment everything felt right.
When I kissed him I wasn't thinking about our past. I wasn't thinking about my doubts. I wasn't thinking about any of our problems. It was just us in this perfect moment.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~