The potent scent of sweat was the first thing I smelt when I woke up. I shook myself awake and looked down at Ember; she was completely drenched in sweat – its salty residue made translucent tracks all over her skin.
Pulling away from her a little, I let her roll onto her back. It was only then that I noticed her head was twisting from side to side quickly, her lips beginning to murmur something.
"No...no...no, please..." She mumbled to herself, "No...no...no, please!" She repeated herself, forcing me to wonder what horror she was dreaming about.
"Hey, Em." My hand closed down on her shoulder and I began shaking her lightly, "C'mon, you need to wake up."
Rapidly, she woke up, turned to me and buried her face in my chest. Tears dampened my bare chest; her fear intermingling with my worry.
"What do you keep dreaming about?" I stroked her greasy hair back.
She shook her head and sobbed a little more, "It doesn't matter."
"It matters to me." I told her, keeping my tone steady without forcing her.
"Okay...I think I'm getting night terrors again." She took her bottom lip in between her teeth and worried it, her eyes struggling to look up at me.
"I kinda figured out that part." A smile pulled at my lips in a vain attempt.
"I should get up..." Ember moved away from me and pushed her hair back into a ponytail.
"Em, wait..."
Ignoring me, she swung her legs out of bed and planted them on the floor, before standing up. Her knees instantly gave way and she collapsed quicker than I could get out of bed.
"Holy shit, Ember!" Dropping down onto the cold carpeted floor beside her, I cradled her head in my lap. "What's happening to you?"
Her lips were cracked and dry, through her entire face shined with sweat and grey circles marked around her eyes. She shook her head, "Nothing..."
Slipping my hands under her, I raised her back onto the bed. "Don't lie to me. Not about something like this." I gestured to her fatigued body.
She only closed her eyes, like she was going to throw up, but simply rolled over away from me.
"You're gonna have to talk to me eventually." Were the last words I threw at her before walking off.
If she isn't lying to me, she's not talking to me at all.
I slammed my door as I reached my own bedroom, feeling my fury build – I'd told her everything that had gone on with Kaden. Regardless of the fact I didn't tell her straightaway, I told her as soon as I knew it would amount to something.
Whatever was going on with Ember and Thea had certainly amounted to something – them being ill and bed-ridden.
After getting my breathing under control, I pulled on a t-shirt and stormed back out of my room.
"Thea?" I knocked lightly on her door.
"Come in..." Her voice was distant, even though she was only on the other side of the door – like the ocean's waves were carrying her away from me.
A slight push and the door swung open surprisingly easily.
"Hey sis...how are you doing?" I crossed the room to her bed and sat down on a rickety wooden chair beside her.
"Mhm...been better." Her eyes barely opened, widening into slits the way Ember's had.
I slipped my hand into her palm, squeezing her sweaty hand.
"What happened?" Keeping my voice steady, I tried not to push her into answering – I wasn't sure if she would be less in control of her hellhound abilities whilst in this...state.
Her head fell against the pillow under her cheek as she faced me, "Nothing that wasn't bound to happen eventually."
"I don't think I've ever heard you speak so cryptically before." I couldn't help the smile that crept onto my face.
Despite the little time I'd spent with Thea, it was almost like we'd never been apart. We seemed to get on so well, and we'd shared so much with one another. Including the deep stuff, like the fact her favourite colour is actually lilac, because it reminds her of the flowers she took to where our mom's ashes were scattered every year.
Her memories of taking the flowers there somehow imparted themselves upon me, making me feel like I was with my twin sister the entire time – like we'd always been together.
"I...can't..." Thea's fierce loyalty burned through her feverish state, though who she was being loyal to, I didn't know.
<You know you can tell me anything, right?> I checked with her, using the link between our minds to ensure our conversation was private.
"I know, Theo." Thea rolled her eyes at me, "But, I can't tell you."
"But...what if you're..." I dropped down closer to her, "You know."
"Dying?" She filled in the blank I'd been too afraid to, scoffing a little, "I'm not dying, Theo. Sure, it doesn't look or feel like I'm living my best life, but it won't last forever."
"Are you sure?" I cocked up an eyebrow at her, doubting her certainty.
"Nope. But whoever's sure about anything supernatural is fucked in the head." She laughed slightly at her own words, but soon subsided.
Seemingly, all her energy had been sucked from her once again – most likely from the exertion of talking to me.
"I'll let you get some more rest." I bent down and kissed her forehead.
<Love you, bro.>
My heart swelled a little at the thought she'd shared with me.
<Love you too, sis.> I thought back, but her steady breathing indicated she was most likely already asleep once again.
Having lived all my life believing I was an only child, I never believed I could experience the purity and fraternity of love between siblings. Being a twin only increased my connection to Thea.
If anything were to happen to her... My stomach did backflips from the very thought of it, and the meagre dinner from the night before threatened to make a reappearance. I couldn't lose Thea, not again. Whatever was the reason for us being separated at birth, we'd stick together – with both of us supernaturals, surely we'd stand a better chance against any threats?
For some reason, our dad hadn't told us exactly what the prophecy about us was. Only time would reveal it to us now, with him helping Maia in Arizona.
I can't lose Ember either; the logical part of me dreaded what might happen if I had to choose between saving one out of the two of them.
Brushing that bleak thought aside, I finally left Thea's room, after watching my twin sleep soundly.
Whilst I couldn't bring myself to get angry at Thea, Ember was another matter. What the two of them were going through was affecting them in the same way; and from the way Thea refused to say anything, it certainly felt like Ember was the one who knew. Or at least, she'd made Thea promise not to say anything.
"Any idea what's going on with them?" Ryder asked, butting me out of my thoughts that I was engrossed in – almost like a moth to a flame.
I shook my head, gritting my teeth, "Neither of them are telling me anything."
"But...they know what's going on with them, right?" Ryder checked, to which I merely nodded, "Then why won't they tell you?"
Letting out a short, exasperated laugh, I threw my hands up in the air, "That's what I've been trying to figure out."
"They should tell you the truth, considering you–" Ryder bit off his words abruptly, frowning intently at the floor. Then he murmured something along the lines of, "Not my place to say."
"If you know something, just tell me." I snapped at him, barking out his name when he ignored me. "Ryder."
He jumped, quivering a little as he looked up at me.
"What on earth are you on about?" I asked him incredulously.
"Haven't you noticed the fact that none of us are Omegas?"
"Well, we're Betas... 'cos we're together." My thoughts slowed like syrup sliding off a spoon, ending up in a gloopy mess.
"I can't tell you what you're not ready to hear or accept, Theo." Ryder eyed me intently, though his words were advisory as opposed to demanding. He then turned and walked downstairs, not once glancing up back at me.
The fury that had been building within me for the previous few days reached its maximum as I pushed my way into Ember's room. I couldn't put it down to the full moon anymore – this was something more.
"Tell me the truth." I demanded at her sleeping body. "Something is happening to both you and Thea – something you knew would happen – and you still won't tell me."
She stirred in her feverish state of sleep, wincing in pain as she propped herself onto her elbows. "Theo..."
"No, you don't get to 'Theo' me, Ember." I snapped at her, glancing away as she winced at the harshness of my words, "You lied to my fucking face – for all I know, you and Thea could be dying."
"We're not..." She stared down at her bedsheets, a hand wiping over her sweaty forehead.
"What is happening to you both then?" I demanded, attempting to force a softer edge to my voice but somewhat failing.
She shook her head, stubbornly pressing her lips together.
"You have to talk to me." I insisted. "No more tiptoeing around the truth, no more lying."
Flicking up from the bed, her eyes suddenly fixed on a spot behind me. Yet she still didn't say anything.
I turned to see what she was staring at, and found that the thin sliver of a new moon was hanging in the sky. Her fixation on it suddenly became somewhat unnerving.
"It's something to do with the moon's cycle..." It dawned on me and I uttered my epiphany aloud, "Isn't it?"
No words emitted from Ember, but I watched as a shadow of uncertainty flickered across her face. Her countenance shifted ever so slightly, and a draft from the cracked window frame blew some of her scent across to me. Her chemosignals screamed loneliness.
"You don't have to feel lonely, Ember." I stepped towards her, "You just have to tell me what's really going on. And then I can help you."
Ever so slightly, she shook her head, pressing her lips firmly together.
"Fucking hell, Ember!" I exclaimed, my rage reaching its climax as I smashed my hand into the wall.
She jumped out of her skin, her eyes widening in fear.
I scared her.
"Oh shit, Em, I'm so sorry." I took a half-step towards her, but stopped as she flinched. "I'll just...leave."
Her silent eyes followed me out of the room, and seemed to continue burning into my back as I made my way downstairs.
"Everything okay?" Ryder glanced up at me as I walked into the empty lounge.
He was sat on the bare floor, picking at some of the peeling up floorboards. The picture of bleakness. I sat down next to him, joining him.
"Not really." I fidgeted for a few moments, before getting to my feet again, "I'm going to go back up to the moors... I need to get out of the house for a bit."
"Want me to come with you?" He immediately jumped up to his feet, eyes shining at me eagerly.
"No, I need to be alone." My hand landed on his shoulder, providing a reassuring squeeze.
It took a few more reassuring words to Ryder before I could make my way out of the door.
I glanced back up at Ember's room, guilt trespassing over my heart. It wasn't like I'd physically hurt her or done anything too serious, but I felt like she wouldn't forgive me so easily this time.
But I wasn't so sure I'd be able to forgive her easily either.
~
As soon as I found my way back to the moors, I was overwhelmed with a rush of scents and chemosignals – all of which were from the night of the full moon.
There was Ryder's, Thea's and my scent, alongside Kaden's scent that was somehow distorted. I lifted my nose to the air and took another inhalation of the salt-tinged air. It was like Kaden's scent, though there was a void in the centre of it...Killian.
The strangest part was that I couldn't get a solid enough grasp of the scent for it to be familiar to me; almost as if it was shifting every second.
Chemosignals raged around me as I continued walking further up amongst the heather and gorse bushes. I pushed the scents away from me and focused on the moors themselves.
By daylight, the moors seemed different. Patches of purple and brown bushes were scattered around haphazardly, and rocky outcrops pushed themselves up from the ground.
I didn't know why I was so surprised to see how drastically different the moorland was by day. But then it dawned on me: I'd only experienced these moors as a landscape of fear – and now, in the light, there was much less to be afraid of.
I felt my anger diminishing inside me as I stood on one of the boulder-like outcrops and stared out at the wide, wide ocean. Hearing the sound of the waves crashing against the cliffs soothed my soul and soon I was calm.
Following the traces of scents and my faint recollection, I retraced my steps back to where the...ankh had been singed into the earth.
As much as I tried to keep thoughts of Ember out of my head, she found a way in. Even though I was still mad at her, I couldn't help but worry about her too. I had to trust that she and Thea would both be better, given enough time. But I would've been a hell of a lot less stressed if Ember told me the truth in the first place.
It's always about the truth and trust, isn't it?
My incredulous inner indignations were abruptly cut off for one singular reason: the ankh was gone. No charred bushes or trees were visible.
With my eyebrows furrowed tightly together, I scanned around quickly – thinking I'd somehow gone to the wrong place. But no; the thicket of trees and bushes was right in front of me.
I dropped down to the ground, my fingers searching the earth for any remnant of the fire. The tips of my fingers brushed against the peaty soil, but found no ashes or char amongst the roots.
"Crap." I muttered; as surely as Killian had left the ankh, however it was gone related back to him. It seemed like he was in control of everything – ten steps ahead of us all.
I scanned around me once again as I paced towards the thicket – not a soul was in sight.
Thought, could Kaden still be classed as having a soul? The only way to tell would be to see his eyes and search the windows to his soul to see if any part of the Kaden I once knew still existed.
As well as there being no visible remains of the fire, I couldn't smell it either. Although it had undoubtedly happened, the lack of evidence made me wary – both of reality, and of what I could've imagined.
A gust of ocean air confronted me head-on, seemingly hurled out of the calm silence. From it, I caught two scents I was familiar with – more than familiar: Ember, and Thea.
I took a moment to listen for heartbeats and, having heard none, proceeded to crash through the undergrowth. Switching to my wolf eyes, I searched quickly, slightly nauseous from an inescapable rushing feeling of imminent threat. Then I saw it, sitting in the centre of a patch of heather – a tattered leather-bound book.
This must be what Ember's mom gave Thea... I thought, bewildered as I picked it up. A burst of intense heat flooded my hands as I touched it, but died away just as rapidly and unexpectedly.
I traced my fingers over the word emblazoned on the book's cover – Lore of the Phoenix. Upon turning the front cover, I was confronted with pages filled with birth dates and death dates of hundreds of women. The cause of death was also dated.
I scanned through the inky mess, searching for anything I recognised until I came across my mother's name.
Eliane Oakenbank, née Melbourne. Born: 23rd June 1970; Died: 29th October 2013; Reason of death: Consumed by Phoenix after being attacked by hunters.
My throat closed up tightly; grieving her loss all over again and being intensely confused as to how her death has been recorded. After recovering from my shock, I continued scanning the names to see that Thea's birth and the women of Ember's family had also been recorded.
Thea Eliane Oakenbank. Born 1st December 2002. Note: Hellhound.
Ember Hestia Milburn. Born 23rd November 2003. Note: strong guardian of the Phoenix.
Forcing myself to look away, I turned the book to look at the pages and saw several dog-eared pages. I flicked through the yellowed pages to the first bookmark. Much to my surprise, someone had taken a highlighter to the old page, and singled out a sentence in neon yellow:
As the full moon affects wolves and gives them power, the new moon affects Phoenixes and takes away their power.
After reading what Ember had been keeping from me, the book almost slipped out of my hands. She and Thea were...powerless?
Why wouldn't Ember tell me that? Or maybe the better question was, why couldn't she?
Had Ember lost so much trust in me that she could no longer trust me with her life?
My head span with all the questions, and I found myself sitting slumped over in the middle of the thicket. The hurt of her not trusting me hit me in the centre of my chest, causing a deep ache to ricochet through every vein of my body, pulsing through my blood.
I picked up the book after it had fallen to the floor; it didn't look like it deserved any more abuse. The Lore of the Phoenix had to be centuries old, though I couldn't date the physical representation of it in front of me.
"Shit." I muttered to myself, groaning into my hands; I didn't know where to turn from there.
Things with Ember were slipping through my fingers quicker than I'd realised that they were falling apart. We were no closer to helping Kaden, or figuring out what exactly Killian wanted.
The cynical part of me was starting to doubt why I'd even come back to the UK. Ember clearly needed distance from me, but how much space is too much space? If I kept her close, she'd be hurting, trying to find a way out. At the same time, if I just let her loose and free, she could end up getting hurt by some other guy.
Hurt by me, or hurt by another guy – what's worse?
I quickly determined that Ember getting hurt, no matter by whom, should be a travesty to mankind.
Even if her love for me was struggling, my heart was still devoted entirely to her. I just had to figure out a way to tell her that.
And hope that she could find it in her heart to forgive me once more.
Because I must've done something wrong to force her away like this.