Hmm.
This chapter didn't quite end up taking me where I expected it to, but here we are, and I guess I will make it work. I ended up writing more on the end, which is why it was a day late sorry!
Hope you enjoy it!
Love Daisy x
_____________________________
Chapter 32 | Forward and Back
*
'A wolf
in sheep's clothing,
is a wolf
nonetheless.'
- Anon
*
IRIS
Hidden behind a curtain, Iris tried in vain to steady her breathing. She swallowed and attempted to recall the feeling he had described to her- but it was more difficult than she had imagined. Struggling, she squeezed her eyes shut in the hopes it would help, but her efforts were only proved all the more futile as a voice sounded from above her suddenly, making her jump.
"Did you even listen to anything that I said?" The deep voice asked lazily.
Iris peeled back the curtain to find Darius leaning on the wall beside her. She scowled at him. His expression was stoic, but there was a slight gleam in his grey-blue eyes that told her he was enjoying her failure.
"It's harder than I thought it would be," Iris grumbled petulantly. "I don't understand the feeling you described."
Darius pushed himself away from the wall.
"Again."
"Even if I do it again, I don't know how to change from last time," Iris protested. "Weren't you supposed to be teaching?"
He turned towards her, one eyebrow raised. "You are giving up?"
"I didn't say that" she bit back. Whirling around, she stormed off to find another place to hide.
-
No more than two minutes later, he found her again.
"You should know, physically concealing yourself doesn't actually help," he said, and this time- there was definite traces of amusement in his voice.
"Well, it helps me," Iris snapped back. "I hope you realise that the failure of the student is a reflection of the teacher."
Darius bent down till he was at her eye level and Iris shrank back self-consciously. "And I hope you realise that that is exactly what a child would say." He stated, studying her for a moment longer before pulling away. "Again." He ordered, "and this time, don't hide. Sit over there." He pointed at the window seat opposite the dining table.
Trying not to drag her feet, Iris moved over to the window seat and plonked herself down, pulling her knees to her chest. She watched as Darius paced up and down the length of the dining table, staring straight ahead as he spoke.
"You are trying too hard. You need to forget the idea of absolute concealment and focus on withdrawing your presence into yourself. Isolate what makes you a presence in the room and remove it."
Iris studied him subtly as he spoke. His usually intimidating demeanour was still there, but since successfully avoiding Ezekiel in the library, he had loosened slightly. It was a barely perceivable change, but still- Iris noticed. She wondered if she had truly been the topic of the meeting he had been avoiding- and if so- what had been so horrible about it to put him in such a bad mood.
"Are you listening to what I am saying?"
Iris came to with a jolt, looking at him sheepishly. "Sorry," she rubbed the back of her head. "Can you repeat that?"
His strong jaw tightened, brows drawing together in a frown. "I do not like repeating myself, Princess."
Iris waved her hands hastily, "I know, I know. I apologise. Please continue, I'm listening now."
After moments pause, he continued his lecture and Iris made sure he wasn't looking before she rolled her eyes. It seemed she had to amend her earlier thoughts- his bad mood was permanent.
"Is this how it works for you?" She couldn't help but ask.
Darius paused in what he was saying to stare at her blankly. "What do you mean?"
"I mean," Iris said slowly, "is this how you learnt? To cloak yourself. How did you know what it was that makes you a 'presence' in the room?" Iris wasn't sure what he meant by that.
She was expecting a rather straight forward answer, so when it didn't come, she was surprised. "You don't know?" She asked, guessing his silence for what it was. "Don't tell me, it just 'came naturally' to you," she said sardonically, folding her arms over her chest.
"It did," Darius replied bluntly, and Iris scoffed.
"So, you've always been able to do it?"
"I have."
"Then how did you expect to teach me," Iris fired back, "when you don't even know yourself?"
Darius's gaze locked onto her own and Iris swallowed. For a moment, she had forgotten who she was speaking to.
"I may not remember how I learnt something that, for most lycan's is instinct," Iris did not miss the poorly concealed insult, and she grimaced as Darius pulled out a chair from the dining table. He sat down, languidly resting an elbow on the smooth wood, his chin in one hand. His stare intensified. "But I at least know the presence that I bring into the room, and therefore, what is required to be concealed in order to ensure I remain unnoticed. The fact that you do not, Princess, concerns me."
"It's obvious for you though," Iris protested, because you're-" she flustered for a moment, before gesturing at him helplessly in the hopes that he would somehow understand what she was trying to convey.
Who wouldn't notice such a person entering the room? Putting aside the fact that Darius was the King, he was also an Alpha, and an Alpha presence was something most common lycans could not so easily ignore. Even if those two things were taken away, Iris had a difficult time believing that such a striking person could simply pass unnoticed anywhere he went, let alone in a small room.
Even now, when he was wearing possibly the most casual clothes Iris had seen him in yet- a loose white shirt that was unusually rumpled and deep, navy-blue trousers- and with half a day's stubble gracing his chin, he was still unfairly handsome.
Iris turned to glimpse her reflection in the window and scowled. Where messy might look good on him, on her, it just looked like a disaster. Her clothing was wrinkled from all the places she had scrunched herself into as she attempted to hide, her dark hair a chaotic bird's nest bundle on the top of her head. She yanked at it crossly, her light silver eyes reflecting her displeasure.
There was nothing special about her that could be considered a presence.
"Tch," she tutted. "Even if I don't have a presence, shouldn't that make it easier to cloak myself?" She grumbled.
"That, Princess," Darius said irritably, "is not cloaking. It is merely hiding. And that is what you have been doing for the last hour. It hasn't seemed to work for you yet."
Iris gritted her teeth and resisted the urge to snap back with something smart.
"Unless you learn to suppress your presence completely, the concealment will break easily." Darius continued. "So, as I said before. Go again."
Sighing, Iris resigned herself to her fate and closed her eyes. She had barely began to concentrate, before she was interrupted.
"Ineffective."
Iris's eyes flew open. "I hadn't started," she protested.
Darius's eyes were cold. "Again."
Muttering profanities under her breath, Iris did as she was told.
Presence in a room. Presence in a room. How was she supposed to know what other people thought of her? She frowned, grinding her teeth in frustration. This was more difficult that training her will.
Suddenly, a hand grasped her wrist and Iris inhaled sharply, her eyes snapping open.
Darius glared down at her, his frosty expression at odds with the gentle manner in which he tugged her to standing.
"Come here," he frowned, pulling her to him lightly. Her feet stuttered across the floor and she collided with him clumsily. He huffed out a sigh and grasped her upper arms instead, spinning her around until her back was against his chest.
"Close your eyes," he said.
"What are you-" Iris stammered, but he gave a light growl of annoyance, interrupting her.
"Close your eyes." This time, it was a command.
Iris's eyes slid shut reluctantly. She felt him shift behind her, his hands dropping away from her arms. The heat from his chest seemed to be radiating through her clothes, and Iris felt as though her back was on fire. Gritting her teeth, she tried to focus instead on his voice. He had begun speaking again.
"You do not believe that you have a presence, Princess." He spoke lowly, and when she was this close to him, Iris could feel his voice reverberating through his chest- a deep bass rumble. "So, for now, simply imagine that your presence is equal to mine."
If she was equal to him? Iris found that even harder to imagine.
"Is it really so difficult?" Behind her, it seemed as though Darius had read her mind. His voice was languid as he continued, irritation hidden for now- with this possibility of a new technique. "You yourself identified what it is that makes me present in a room. Imagine that those traits apply to you as well. And hide them one by one."
Well, Iris mused, she supposed it wasn't so hard when he put it that way. What would she disappear first?
"Start small," he suggested. She felt him lean forward around her and heard him place something on the table in front of them. His breath washed over the top of her ear as he righted himself. Her scalp prickled, as his gaze settled back on her.
She would start with his eyes then. That was the most obvious presence; his stare practically drilling into her skull. His piercing eyes seemed only to meet hers when he was telling her off for something, but suddenly, she remembered the way he had looked at her when she had found him in the greenhouse. His eyes had not been cold then, they had been liquid and soft; like the gentle grey of an overcast sky, just on the verge of night-time.
"Tell me, out loud." He said, and Iris flushed inadvertently, before realising that he was referring to her choice, and not her current train of thought. When she noticed her mistake, her flush deepened.
"Eyes," she said, a little uncomfortable with saying it aloud. Wasn't this too embarrassing? Would he think her strange, for choosing such a feature? But then he had been the one to tell her to start small!
However, all he did was pause for a moment, before continuing as though there was nothing amiss. "Very well. We will do it together. Conceal your vision. If it helps to think of yourself as blind, then do that."
Iris struggled for a moment.
"You are trying too hard again," he berated from behind her.
Annoyed, Iris wriggled impatiently. His hands suddenly clamped back down on her upper arms, and she froze.
"Stay still," he ordered. When he was sure she wouldn't move, he released her again, but this time, one of his hands fell back down to cover her eyes. "Focus," he insisted, "think, can you feel my gaze now?"
Iris suddenly realised that she couldn't. When he pointed it out, it became more obvious, and Iris couldn't believe she hadn't noticed before.
"No," she replied. "I can't."
"And now?"
Suddenly, the hairs on the back of her neck prickled, goosebumps racing across her skin. She shivered. "I can feel you again," she said softly.
He grunted. "Good." His hand shifted on her eyes a little. His palm was rough, yet soft at the same time. And warm. "Do it with me this time."
Iris took a deep breath to settle herself, reigning her thoughts back in. She thought she was starting to grasp the concept of what he was trying to have her do.
Imagine yourself as blind.
She had no eyes. There were no eyes in her skull. They did not exist.
Slowly, under Darius's hand, the warm light that leaked through the cracks in his fingers and turned the inside of her eyelids red, began to recede. Soon, there was nothing but black.
"Good," Darius's voice was soft and low to her ear. It startled her, and for a moment, she almost lost the feeling. "What is next?"
Iris released a slightly shaky breath. "Um ... the rest of my face?"
"Very well."
Slowly, Iris felt the person behind her become void. It was a strange feeling- she knew who it was that was there, but it was as though Darius's outline had become vague. As though it could fit anyone.
Concentrating, she slowly followed suit, removing her facial features, one by one. Iris imagined herself in her mind, a featureless person, a shell, empty and waiting to be occupied. Her breathing quickened slightly.
"And now?"
Iris's fingers trembled lightly. "My status, as Alpha, and as King."
As soon as she spoke the presence behind her faded even more. If it weren't for his hand, still covering her face, Iris wouldn't have believed him there at all. She imagined herself, the will she had cultivated, and the heritage she was still tentative of embracing. It was easy to let those things go. She did it immediately.
And now there was only one thing left. "My body. And my voice."
"Good."
Iris was abruptly alone in the room. There was a pressure on her eyes, but she could not discern what it was that covered them. She took a deep breath, and on the exhale, she imagined herself disappearing, fading into the air around her, like rain into the ocean.
And suddenly she found herself adrift, and bodiless, and completely, and utterly alone. The black space that surrounded her was immense, and endless, and Iris could not imagine how she could possibly find her way back.
It was terrifying.
Iris panicked immediately. She wanted to open her eyes, but she did not have eyes to open. She felt as though her heart was surely beating out of her chest, but she no longer had a heart, nor a chest for it to beat in. Her voice was non-existent, a silent plea that never had the chance to be spoken.
If she couldn't find her way back to her body, was she going be lost here forever?
Iris barely had time to think the thought, before suddenly an overwhelming presence appeared beside her.
Like the blinding sun, the presence lit up the dark confines of the space Iris had found herself trapped in, searing her with its scorching heat. Desperately, she latched on it, and suddenly she was blinking back into the space of her own room, her trembling hands bunched up in the material of the shirt she found in front of her.
She gasped, startled to find she had lungs to breathe with. The room was too bright, and her fingers gripped the shirt more firmly as she leaned into the warmth. The loose fabric gave way under her hands, and she felt warm skin against her cheek.
A hand fell down on the top of her head and startled, she glanced up.
Darius was looking down at her, his grey eyes brooding. Her eyes fell back down to her hands, and she suddenly realised whose shirt it was she was gripping so tightly. Embarrassed, she let go immediately. She went to step away, but she wobbled and Darius stepped with her, catching her back up and guiding her backwards until her back hit the table.
As he had done at Aelin, his hands fell naturally around her waist and he lifted her easily, placing her atop of the table this time- instead of into a boat.
"Are you alright?" His voice was deep his gaze even more so. It was too confronting, and Iris was unaccustomed to it. She looked away.
"I'm fine," she said, but her voice came out in a croak. "I don't know what happened."
How embarrassing, she cursed internally. Why was it that she always managed to embarrass herself in front of him?
Darius's voice was hard. "What happened, was what was supposed to happen."
Out of shock, Iris glanced back at him. "You mean that was it?" She asked incredulously, "that was awful." It that was cloaking, no wonder Balthazar had chosen to teach her the other method. Who would willingly choose to do that themselves?" Iris spoke without thinking, and immediately regretted her words.
Way to insult the King to his face, Iris, she thought scathingly, well done.
At her words, Darius straightened, his intense stare cooling slightly. "I can think of worse things to see than emptiness," he said, his tone clipped. Iris cringed internally.
"I'm sorry-"
"It doesn't matter." He dismissed her immediately, causing her apology to dry up on her tongue. Iris forced herself to swallow past the lump in her throat, her fingers curling against the edge of the table in frustration.
"The reason you could not find your own way back was because you do not yet understand your own presence," Darius was saying, and Iris forced herself to listen. "Understanding your presence, is understanding who you are as a lycan, at the very essence and core of your being."
Although she was trying to listen, Iris found her thoughts drifting again as she watched him speak. The awful feeling of emptiness was still lingering at the edges of her vision, so tangible she could almost taste it. She understood what Darius was trying to tell her, but after that, she had no desire to ever experience that again.
"You are distracted." All at once, Iris suddenly found her vision full of him. He leaned against the table, his arms bracketing her on either side as he fixed her under his stare. "Concentrate."
Iris huffed out a sigh. "I'm trying," she closed her eyes for a moment, "but can we take a break? I don't think ... I don't think I can do that again," she confessed.
She expected him to scorn her for being weak, as he had done in the past, but his expression remained impassive. He studied her for a long moment.
"It troubled you that terribly?" She thought she caught a flicker of confusion in his gaze.
"It did," she said honestly, the admittance was barely a whisper. "I don't want to do that again." Suddenly she shivered, and she rubbed her arms firmly in an attempt to chase away the goosebumps. Darius straightened, still looking at her consideringly. Another moment passed, and then he spoke.
"Very well." His tone was curt. "Then our lesson ends for today."
Iris's shoulders dropped in relief. "Thank-you."
For a moment, it seemed that neither of them had anything else to say. Darius was staring broodingly out the window, and the silence in the room stretched on. Iris cleared her throat in an attempt to ease some of the awkwardness.
"How long do you think you will need to hide- I mean, how long until Ezekiel stops looking for you?"
Darius seemed rise out of the stupor he had been in- glancing at her briefly. Iris noticed that his eyes were once again flat and apathetic. "I imagine they will be finished by now," he said curtly. "I should be going."
"Oh," Iris floundered, "I didn't mean to rush you-"
"Do not delude yourself in thinking you influence my choices," his words were cold and harsh, and Iris was unprepared to receive them. Before she could even comprehend what he was saying, he had swept from the room, flinging one last, careless sentence over his shoulder. "I have wasted enough time here, and now I must go. That is all."
His departure and change in mood, were equally abrupt, and for a moment Iris just stared dumbly after him, her mind blank.
And then his words began to sink in.
Slowly, her gaze became incensed. "A waste of time?" She hissed furiously. "Deluding myself?" Her hands gripped the edge of the table so hard that indents were left in the wood. Realising that she was still sitting on the table where he had put her- just like a child- only served to make her more angry.
She leapt down from the table and stormed towards the door, yanking it open.
"You're the delusional one!" She roared down the hallway, uncaring of the fact that he had long since left the East Wing. With his hearing, he would hear her. Or she would damn well make sure he did. She took a deep breath and yelled at the top of her lungs. "Ezekiel! He was hiding in here!"
Huffing, Iris stormed back into her room, slamming the door shut with a satisfying bang. "Maybe I am delusional," she muttered furiously, as she banged her way into her bathroom and angrily turned the taps on in the bath. "Delusional for ever thinking you could be actually good company!"
*
It was a whole week before Arlo returned, and in that time, Iris's would have liked to say that she avoided the King like the plague. Unfortunately, that would imply that he was actually around for her to avoid, and since she had seen neither hide, nor hair of him since the day he had visited the East Wing, her resolve didn't quite have the same effect.
She had assumed that he was still continuing his game of hide and avoid however, as she had run into Ezekiel a few times- hunting for his King in the vast halls of the palace. Annoyingly, Iris too had found herself looking for him, in between and on the way to her classes- although it was firmly motivated by the desire to rat him out to Ezekiel when she discovered where he was.
One morning, Iris rose from slumber to find a note left on her dining room table in a familiar scrawl.
Beauty,
I have returned but am meeting with the council this morning.
If you would like to have lunch together, meet me in the dining hall at noon.
Iris was ecstatic and dressed hastily. It was still some time before noon, and she still had morning lessons with Balthazar to attend. However, the Princess was so distracted throughout the whole lesson, that her tutor banished her from the library early, with a command to return once she had pulled her head out of the clouds.
Balthazar's harsh critique could not dampen her mood however, and Iris hummed cheerfully as she hurried towards the dining room at pace.
She paused in front of the large double doors and was just about to push them open when a large hand got there first.
Iris looked up, and immediately scowled.
"Why are you here?" She snapped, barging past to enter the room before him.
"Because it is my house," Darius growled, as he followed after her and shut the door behind them. "And I'm here to see my brother."
Iris weighed him up from the corner of her eye. He seemed to be in an absolutely foul mood, and she hoped that it was because he had finally been forced to attend the meeting he had been avoiding.
"Don't tell me you two are still arguing," The familiar voice was a pleasant change, and Iris found herself smiling, even before she saw the person waiting for her at the other end of the room.
"Arlo," she cried, running into his embrace. He scooped her off the ground and her arms looped around his neck as she pressed her face into his shoulder. "I missed you," she mumbled, gripping him tighter.
"I missed you too, Beauty," he murmured into her hair. Pulling back, he sent her a stern look. "Have you been behaving while I've been gone?" Iris did not miss the way his gaze flickered over the top of her head to his brother, who was still standing by the door.
Iris shrugged, "more or less," she said sweetly, studiously ignoring the scoff of derision that came from behind her.
"More or less is good enough for me," Arlo smiled, tucking a dark lock of hair behind her ear. "Come and sit down, and let's eat. You can tell me what you've been up to."
Iris obliged easily, and over buttery croissants and breakfast waffles with too much maple syrup, Iris told Arlo everything that had been happening since he had been absent. She purposefully omitted the lesson Darius had given her, and- down the other end of the table, eating silently- Darius didn't bring it up either.
"Why did you need to speak with the council, Arlo?" Iris finally asked curiously. She glanced down at Darius, who was still immersed in his breakfast. "I thought they were looking for his Highness."
"Well," Arlo leaned back in his chair, "since a certain brother of mine saw fit to avoid them for the better part of the week, they thought they could get answers more easily from me." Arlo sounded light-hearted enough, but Iris could detect a slight trace of annoyance in his tone.
"Tch," Darius scowled. "They were better questions aimed at you anyway."
"You still could have eased their concerns earlier, if you had just gone." Arlo replied curtly, his earlier ease vanishing immediately.
Iris shrank back in her chair, and quietly ate another forkful of eggs. She had a feeling this was not the first time the two brothers had argued this morning.
"Why should I have to go," Darius growled. "I have nothing to say."
"Yes you do," Arlo retorted, "you know you do."
Darius stood abruptly, slamming his hands down on the table in fury. The power of his will unleashed, thrumming through the room with frightening force. Iris jumped, her fork clattering onto her plate. She glanced at Darius to see him glaring daggers at Arlo, his expression vehement.
"They are dreaming, if they ever think I would agree to such a ridiculous request," Darius snarled, his voice rough and guttural.
Iris shivered in her chair, and quickly looked away back to Arlo.
Surprisingly, her guardian was still seated in his chair. Although his face was calm, his blue eyes were as hard as glass.
"I didn't suggest you had to agree," Arlo said slowly, "but you could have at least offered your opinion."
Darius tsked, whipping his head away from his brother in annoyance. He straightened, his arms folding across his broad chest defensively. Iris could see the finger indents left in the table from where he had been leaning. "I have no opinion on the matter," the King snarled.
"If you didn't have an opinion, then you wouldn't be so worked up about it." Arlo pointed out.
"I am not," Darius gritted out from between clenched teeth, "worked up. I merely do not think that it is any of their god damn business."
"Well, the council is there to advise," Arlo said dryly, "I should think it would be their business."
Iris silently chewed on her food, deciding for once that it would be a wise idea to hold her tongue. She had no idea what they were talking about, and it was obvious that the both of them did not intend to clue her in. Darius had mentioned that the council had wanted to discuss her ... but she couldn't understand how what Arlo and Darius were currently arguing about could relate to her at all.
Finally, it seemed as though Darius had nothing more to say, and so Arlo turned to Iris with a light smile.
"Forgive me, Beauty. It is not the first time we have discussed such things this morning."
"It's alright," Iris murmured, staring down at her plate. She didn't dare look at Darius- but she could feel him seething down the other end of the table. He had not sat back down.
"What I actually wanted to talk to you about," Arlo continued, "was your birthday."
"My birthday?" Iris was surprised. She had almost forgotten. "What about it?"
Her guardian smiled slyly. "It's your first birthday in Aether, don't you want to do something special?"
Iris shrugged. "I wasn't really concerned," she admitted. "I don't mind if we just do what we normally do."
She knew that Arlo was busy, and she didn't want him to go into some tremendous effort- which she knew that he would if she allowed him. Arlo had always made a fuss for her birthday, despite it being just the two of them, year after year. Iris didn't understand why really, a birthday was a birthday. But Arlo had insisted that the birthdays that led up to the point a lycan's aging slowed, were special. Most lycans slowed aging around the age of twenty, and Iris was nineteen this year. Once she turned twenty, she would be a fully grown adult lycan- although most lycans were considered adults from the age of seventeen.
Suddenly she noticed her guardian looked a little guilty.
"That is, unless you already had something in mind," she probed, curiously.
"Well ..." Arlo hesitated for a moment, and Iris felt a brief sense of foreboding. "The council wondered if your upcoming birthday might be a good chance to announce you to the public."
It was a moment before Iris comprehended what he was saying. "As in, as a Princess," she felt the need to clarify that point.
Arlo nodded. "We would prepare the population of Aether and Lunex in advance of course and let them know ... how you came to be here. But yes, your debut as Princess Silvon would be at the ball."
"The ball?" Iris asked incredulously. "You want to have a ball for my birthday?"
Arlo scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "Yes," he admitted, "a public one."
Iris glanced at Darius quickly, but the King had his back to them, and Iris could not see his expression. However, displeasure was rolling off him in waves, and Iris would have to be a fool to realise that not everyone seemed to think this was a good idea.
"Is this really the right time?" She asked weakly, unable to think of a solid reason to protest.
She had assumed that one day her status would be announced to the general population of Aether, but that day had seemed so far in the future- and she had merely contented herself with studying under Balthazar and learning the ins and outs of her history and the role she would assume without ever really imagining herself in it.
Now it seemed as though she would be putting her theory into practice, sooner than she would have thought.
"It is," Arlo's eyes were gentle as he reached across the table to squeeze her fingers. "You would still have another year before anyone would expect you to assume an official position, and even then- that's only if you wanted to."
"She will not, be assuming any position." Darius chose that moment to speak, and his tone sent a chill down Iris's spine. "Not until we have the rebels under control."
Iris felt her pride smarting. "Do you think me uncapable?" She asked, her tone defensive.
"Exactly," Darius turned to glower at her. "You will be nothing but a liability."
"You-!" Iris found her words choked by anger. How dare he? "So, then what have I been doing all this time?" She managed to say finally. "Because I sure as hell haven't been playing around!"
"Playing around," Darius snarled, "is exactly what you've been doing. You think your studies are anything like what the real world is like, Princess? You're in for a nasty surprise."
Before Iris could retort, Arlo held up a hand to silence her. "That is why," her guardian said with forced calm, "she will have a year to ease into it. You cannot keep her locked away in the Palace forever, Darius. You're being unreasonable. If you will not let her, then I will-"
Suddenly, the atmosphere in the room changed.
Iris didn't even have a moment to comprehend what was happening when she suddenly found herself being yanked to one side as Arlo pulled her behind him forcefully.
In the next second, her guardian had doubled in size as he assumed his half-beast form, his clawed hands stretching out to defend against the equally animalistic fist that had ploughed through the air towards him, aiming for his face.
Iris cowered behind Arlo's towering figure, her breath coming in short gasps as she stared up at the monstrous lycan that loomed even higher than her guardian.
Arlo's transformation had torn his shirt down the back, and Iris could see his shoulder muscles quivering beneath his silver fur, as he struggled to repel the fist he had caught in both hands.
In front of him, Darius was beyond menacing in his half-beast form, although his height was nothing like Iris had ever seen. She had thought him equal to Arlo, when the two had fought on the training grounds, but only now did she realise that she had been horribly wrong. With a towering height that only seemed to grow more menacing with every passing second, Iris stared in dread at her King, and wondered- not for the first time- if there was any true limit to his power.
His face had transformed completely, and the usually slender silver snout was currently wrinkled in a fierce snarl, his lips curling back to reveal sharp fangs that snapped and salivated mere inches from Arlo's face.
"Brother, calm down."
"Calm down?" The voice that curled out from those jaws was guttural and grated on Iris's ears. She thought she had never heard such a terrifying sound. "You would command me, and then tell me to calm down?"
Arlo grunted, his shoulders trembling as he was forced back a step. Impossibly, Darius seemed to grow taller.
"The command was unintentional," Arlo gritted out, "I apologise, my King."
His words seemed to have little to no effect, and Arlo shot a look at Iris over his shoulder. His silver ears were pressed back flat against his skull defensively. "Iris," he huffed, his wolf-like snout wrinkling a little with the effort of speaking, "leave. You need to leave. Go. Go and get Vandor."
Iris's fingers curled against the cold wood of the floor. She gazed up at the monster in front of her and realised that she was trembling. She opened her mouth, her words falling out in a stammer.
"Arlo, I-"
"Now, Iris!"
"She's not going anywhere, step aside."
Iris gasped as she felt the command in the second part of that sentence, and she watched as Arlo's arms shook, as he attempted to ignore it.
The monster's gaze had switched from Arlo to her, and Iris suddenly felt as though she were being devoured. The grey blue eyes that glared down at her where both familiar, yet not. His stare was the same from that time- the time she had run away from him. It was animalistic in its luminance, and terrifying in its intensity. But at the same time, Iris was suddenly reminded of the way he had glared at her at Aelin- after she had accidently commanded him.
The name of the emotion she had glimpsed in his expression had escaped her then- it had appeared so briefly. But she knew it now. And she knew where she had seen it before.
Slowly, Iris climbed to her feet. Although her hands were still trembling, she forced her legs to remain steady. Her eyes remained locked on her King's. Not that he would have let her look away. Not that she could look anywhere else.
Iris, kicked off her shoes, allowed herself one deep breath to focus, and then she shifted.
"Iris, what are you-" Arlo's voice was both concerned and angry as he noticed her actions. But his hands were full, and he could not move to stop her, least Darius's hit actually connect. Iris had no doubt it would knock him unconscious.
It had been some time since Iris had assumed her half-beast form- in fact, it had been some time since she had shifted at all. The action was more welcome than she had thought it would be, after such a prolonged abstinence, and it was as though she suddenly had more space to breathe.
She unfolded into her form, her limbs lengthening as her bright- almost white- silver fur sprouted to coat her skin in starlight. Her ears extending and curved upwards, until they twitched in silver triangles on the top of her head. Her previously loose pants tightened and tore a little at the front and the back, before spitting at the bottom to accommodate her hindquarters.
She shook her hind-paws out onto the solid floor and felt the smooth wood beneath the pads of her toes. Her tail bone prickled uncomfortably as it lengthened, and then her long silver tail whipped through the air behind her, sweeping across the floor once before falling still.
Iris's shift into her half-beast form took her to reach just below Arlo's height. Taking another breath, Iris once again met the eyes of her King. His stare was still fierce, his cold eyes rimmed with red. As his lycan acknowledged her shift, he snarled at her, snapping his teeth in her direction. In front of her, Arlo growled back at him, the sound echoing through Iris's pointed ears.
Imagine your presence is equal to mine.
Iris closed her eyes briefly for a moment, before reopening them. She had felt his presence, felt him remove it completely, and bring it back in abundance. It had been just over a week ago, but she imagined for a moment, that she could still grasp the feeling.
And then she imagined that it was her.
She was the one with the power. She was the one with the Alpha presence, with the dominating authority of the King. His height, his size, she imagined that it was all accessible to her as well.
Iris felt her blood pumping in her ears, and her skin prickled uncomfortably as her fur grew out more, her limbs stretching and filling out as she swelled upwards, still balancing upright on her two legs, concentrating on withdrawing the features that would push her into her fully lycan form. Her lip curled as her long tongue flicked out over her teeth, tracing their pointed edges, and this time, when Darius snarled down at her, she snapped back lightly at him- the action all animalistic instinct.
For the first time in her life, Arlo was shorter than her now, the tops of his pointed silver ears reaching just under her chin. Although Darius was still a good head above her, Iris felt power thrumming through her veins like she had never felt before.
She could not pause to think about it though, she could see that now she had shifted, things were quickly beginning to spiral out of control. Darius was more incensed than before, taking her shift as a direct challenge, as she had thought he might. She would have to act quickly.
Reaching out, Iris rested her hand on Arlo's arm, and before he could act, she ducked swiftly underneath it, placing herself between him and the King.
The repercussions of her actions were immediate.
Darius abruptly withdrew from Arlo and lunged towards her instead. His expression was so terrifying, that for a moment, Iris's resolve wavered- but before she could waste the chance, she threw herself towards him, wrapping her arms firmly around his neck. She pressed her muzzle into the thick mane of silver fur at his ruff, and clung to him, praying that the lack of space between them would inhibit him from taking action.
She felt him freeze under her, his massive frame trembling with rage. Seizing his distraction, Iris lifted her snout to whisper two words in one of his wolf like ears, imbuing them with her command.
But it was not a command like she had given before- the one that felt so unnatural to her- where she had been focused on forcing out an answer, or compliance with an action. Such a command would only serve to enrage Darius more.
It had been so obvious to her, after Arlo had told her of their history, that the reason Darius had been so incensed by her accidental attempt to command him, was because he had been manipulated so terribly by the command before.
So, Iris had realised suddenly, why the emotion that had stirred- however briefly- in the feral gaze of her King had been familiar. She saw it often enough in her own bloodshot gaze, whenever she looked at herself in the mirror after she had been plagued by one of her night-terrors. And the reason it had taken her so long to identify it, was because she had not seen such a look in her eyes for a long time.
It was panic. Panic that came with loss of control. After witnesses what she had in the glasshouse; Iris could imagine why losing control might cause the emotions of her already temperamental King to spiral.
Although Iris was furious at him for what he had said to her, and although it was not her duty to help him reign in his unreasonable outbursts, she could calm herself long enough to consider that whatever it was that the council had been discussing, had been enough to push Darius to the edge of his tolerance. Clearly, that was the case, if a mere disagreement with Arlo was enough for him to view his brother as a potential threat. And Iris would not let him hurt Arlo.
And, while she was reluctant to admit it, Iris empathised with him also. She had found herself doing so more often, ever since that day in the glasshouse. It was a strange sort of pity, one that made her heart throb with a dull ache, whenever she recalled his suffering. She imagined that Darius would hate it if he knew she felt that way.
So, the command that she whispered to him was not forceful, or malicious. In fact, it was hardly a command at all- more like a suggestion. But it was filled with Iris's will, and her own certainty in the truth of the words that she spoke.
"It's okay."
It was okay. There was no one here that was a threat to him. No-one that was going to restrain him, or hurt him, or challenge him for the throne.
Iris felt her heart ache more for him, as though her own words were affecting her too. She pressed herself closer to him unconsciously and her half-beast form begin to shrink, as the feeling of the power she had borrowed faded with her adrenaline.
She tried not to panic, as she felt Darius remain unresponsive beneath her, still massive in his half-beast form. The sleek muscles beneath her were quivering, but still with anger? She did not know.
If it had not worked, if he took her actions wrongly instead, she was going to die.
She squeezed her eyes closed, her now human fingers digging into the thick fur around his neck, as she willed him to calm down. She felt her legs returned to normal, and her feet were suddenly dangling off the ground.
Iris let out a light gasp, as she began to slip, when suddenly a hand came up to catch her. The hand that caught her was definitely not a fully human one, and Iris was engulfed in his grasp, as he pressed her firmly against him.
"Do you have a death wish?" He snarled. His guttural voice was still terrifying, and Iris contradicted herself by digging further into his fur in an attempt to escape it. If she couldn't see his face, then she could pretend that the voice didn't belong to him, at least until he put her down.
"No." She shook her head furiously.
"Don't ever, put yourself in front of me like that again," he snarled, and she shuddered as she felt his massive head turn towards her, his hot breath huffing out over her hair.
"Okay," she squeaked, all too happy to oblige. Her earlier confidence had completely evaporated, and now Iris was heavily regretting her actions. Forget it. Forget it all. This level? It was out of her league. She was fine sparring against Gabriel every day, she could pummel him rather well now. That was satisfying enough for her.
"Reckless," he growled, but she felt him finally begin to shrink. He loosened his hold, and when Iris's feet met the floor, Darius had reverted back to his basic half-beast form. While his upper torso and face were the human appearance Iris was most familiar with, his lower torso still had the hindquarters of a lycan, the silver fur striking against the tanned skin of his bare chest. His golden hair spilled around his broad shoulders wildly, and for a moment he was a perfect mix of the sun, and the moon.
His hands, that had been gripping her upper arms, released her immediately, and she wobbled.
Arlo appeared to steady her, and Iris saw the expression on her guardian's face briefly before she was tugged out of sight behind him. He was furious.
"Happy now?" Arlo's voice was more angry than Iris had ever heard him. She cowered, thinking for a moment that he was berating her for her rash actions, but then she realised he was addressing the King.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Darius replied stonily, as he turned to leave. "As for the ball, do what you want."
And just like he had disappeared abruptly from the East Wing, just over a week ago, he was once again gone; sweeping from the room with the door slamming shut firmly behind him.